A/N: ok so first of all NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME THEY BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER, AND THE SONG TO FLYLEAF

And well idk where this came from, I suppose that when I heard this song I thought of Bella's reaction to Edward leaving. I just felt like writing something. This is during New Moon. Edward hasn't come backā€¦yet

Background: Ok so this is Bella reaction to Edward leaving. The song is, I'm So Sick by Flyleaf, really good song, go to to hear it. So Bella starts off in her room, Charlie isn't home, she's alone.

So Sick

I will break into your thoughts
With what's written on my heart
I will break, break

I was crying. Why would he leave me, why? I still love him so much. I stared into the mirror. I hated the reflection I saw. I took my hair dryer and threw it at the mirror. It shattered into thousands of piece, just like my heart.

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

I ran out of the house, into the woods behind it. I was breathing heavy. A sob escaped my lips. I ran wildly through the woods. When I couldn't run any more, I fell to my knees. I broke down.

If you want more of this
We can push out, sell out, die out
So you'll shut up
And stay sleeping
With my screaming in your itching ears

Oh it hurt. It hurt so badly. My heart was aching. The hole was there. I screamed. I was crying out in pain. I kept thinking of him, hearing him. I had to stop or I really did think that I was going to die there.

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

I tried to stand, but my legs wouldn't obey. I was in too much pain. I was sick. Sick of pain. Sick of heart break. Sick of not being able to breath. Sick of not feeling. Sick of being numb. Sick of being told what was best for me. Sick of everyone choosing for me. Sick of not having Edward.

Hear it, I'm screaming it
You're heeding to it now

"Why?!" I yelled at the sky. "Why did you do this?!". Why was my world falling apart? Why was my heart missing? Why can't I have what makes me happy? Why was I coming undone? Why was this happening to me? Why doesn't he love me? I was screaming, I don't know how loud. My cries did not fall on ears. No one heard me.

Hear it! I'm screaming it!
You tremble at this sound

"Edward!" I finally screamed. I hadn't said his name aloud since he left. I began to shake, and I winced at my movement. "Edward what did I do to deserve this?!" I wasn't blaming him for this. I blamed myself, my stupid, insignificant self.

You sink into my clothes
And this invasion
Makes me feel
Worthless, hopeless, sick

I could almost feel him next to me. I remembered back to that day. That cursed day. I felt unwanted, rejected, worthless, hurt. The hole was going to consume me. Swallow me whole. The pain was going to over come me. I knew I was dying. My heart was slowly stopping. Not because of venom, it was broken, and broken things don't work.

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

It started to rain, I didn't care. I had stopped caring. I shut my dead heart up. Turned it to stone. I was empty. Emotionless and apathetic. I had emotionally died. I screamed one last time. I never wanted to speak again.

I'm so sick
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss, selfishness
I'm so
I'm so sick
I'm so
I'm so sick

It was true, I was sick. I am infected. I am dying. I am sick. Nothing can cure me. I am sick, sick of heartache.

A/N: Ok then, well this song is sad, and so is this story. I figured that this was before Bella threw her promise not to be reckless out the window. This is pre-best-friends-with-Jacob. This could have happened right before her emotionless months. I can write an after story, but I'm not unless someone asks me to, or people actually like this story. The singer of Flyleaf is an AMAZING singer. So I can write more, if people want it.

QUESTION: Did you like my story? I personally don't think I'm a very good, sad story writer. I don't like sad stories they make me cry. Lol, ik, ik, "Why you write one then stupid?" w/e

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