Disclaimer: I own nothing mentioned in this little fic.
Author's Note: this is a little list of annoying Vincent Valentine. A number of these were helped put together by myself, one of my sisters and my brother as well as many nice and kind people that I spoke with on a forum. so, here is the first humour fic/list. more to come in other topics.
Victim #1: Vincent Valentine
1. Constantly bug him about his complexion, saying that he should have more sunlight.
2. Talk about Yuffie...for hours...and hours...and hours...
3. Tug on his red cape/cloak and cause him to trip over because of it.
4. Ask him what colour he'd like his hair to be dyed...and not taking "I don't want it to be dyed" as an answer.
5. Continuously poke him with a stick, yet when he asks you to stop reply with "Stop what Vinnie?" in your most innocent voice.
Ask him why his shoes are pointy and if he got it from a witch's covenant (ugh I'm bad at insults, I can't think straight
7. Imitate him (his walk, how he stands, and every move he makes) and when asked why say "I'm a Yuffie supporter"...then carry on with the imitation.
8. Ask him where he got his contacts from. When he denies wearing contacts, stare at his face constantly.
9. Ask him if he knows where Yuffie is, repeatedly, until he asks why you want to know. Then go silent until he decides to give up and start again, but asking for a different person.
10. Take away all of his guns. When he asks for them back, just insist that toy guns are for babies.
11. Superglue an oven-mitt to his claw and don't let him remove it, insisting that sharp objects are dangerous and should be covered up at all times.
12. Hand him a phone. Then have Barret call him from another phone.
13. Tell him that Yuffie wants her materia back. Ignore him when he denies ever having any.
14. Photoshop an image of him to make him seem like Dracula, then post it over the web and show him...
15.Ask him were he got his makeup done, when he says he doesn't wear makeup you say...then what skin product do you use...
11. Ask if you can use his phone... .
17. Tie-dye (sp?) his clothes
18. Keep saying "Knock-Knock" to him.
19. Yell "The Demon wants to eat my baby!" whenever he folds his arms...hehe...
Final Vincent Valentine torment #20!!
Have a sign put on his back, saying "Point and stare at me". Then tell him that Reeve needs to speak with him in Kalm.