Disclaimer: I own nothing mentioned in this fic.
Author's Note: this is the 4th evil humour fic created by myself and others. I hope it is amusing. Poor Neji is the victim now...
Victim #4: Neji Hyuga
1.Get Naruto to follow him around and have him use the "Sexy Jutsu" whenever he turns round.
2.Dress up as Rock Lee and constantly go on about being the "handsome devil" of the leaf village while following him everywhere.
3.Tell Ino that he's interested in her and wants her to go out with him, then watch her chase him around.
4.Claim that you know the weakness of the Byakugan. When he asks you, remain silent. Then repeat.
5.Tie him up and drag him to a "Neji Fan-Girls" Convention.
6.Tell everyone he is actually a blind girl
7.keep telling him he should get a makeover or ask him what brand conditioner (or shampoo) he uses repeatedly
8.Hinata can follow him around telling everyone "he's my favorite niisan!"
9.Have him fight someone who's internal organs are reversed. (It's a real medical condition) All the pressure points would be in the wrong spots
10.Spread a rumour that he's suffering from amnesia. Observe the number of FAN GIRLS that claim to be his girlfriend.
11. Keep saying that you know who he likes...then be silent when he demands to know...then start again.
12. Ask him if he was born with eyes like that. When he says yes, give him pitying looks and say, "You poor boy, blind from birth."
13. Yey i get to be 13! 13 is great. think of all the things you could do with the number 13. you could count from 1 to 13. or you could count from 13 to 1. better yet, skip from 1 to 13 and then continue on from 12 to 2 and from 3 to 11 and from 4 to 10 and from 5 to 9 and from 6 to 8 and well seven's pretty much alone. then again you could pair up 7 with 0. but 0 isn't a number isn't it? wait a minute, it has got to be a number. does anyone know what the word "number" means? i don't, but i'll try anyway! i think number means "numb" but in the comparative tense. you know: numb, number, numbest! but how can you call 0 a number? it shouldn't be numb at all. unlike 13 of course! 13 is the numbest. wait, no it can't. how can you call something numb if you can't even feel it? but i guess that's not our problem right? who the heck cares about 13? i bet each time we say 13 we make it feel numb. poor old 13. pity number 13! sorry, pity numbest 13. each time we say it, we make it numb. thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen. ah that was fun. it's probably as numb as a tree stump right now. are tree stumps numb? well, they have to be! who wouldn't be numb if you had your top cut off! but we also have our top cut off right? our hair i mean. how the heck does it always grow back? i wish i could cut off my leg and it would grow right back. yeah that would be awesome. you'd be like jason in Friday the 13th. HEY 13!!! 13 is a great number. think of all the things you could do with the number 13. you could count from 1 to 13 or from 13 to 1. eh? eh? pretty good huh? but i thought 13 was an unlucky number? what makes it unlucky? the 4th of july pretty well could be unlucky. hehehe, lucky. lucky. lucky. it rhymes with clucky. and clucky rhymes with shafjhfaoehgky. but that's not even a word! but how should we know? maybe in the future, it could mean supreme ruler of the universe! who knows? maybe "emperor" about 500 years ago meant "toilet paper". am i right? yeah, and i bet that the game "pool" used to have only 12 balls. but why would they leave out 13? 13's a great number. think of all the things you could do with 13! what an awesome number.
14. Put a "kick me" sign on his back and tell him the Hokage has asked him to check the perimeter of the village. Then laugh as the villagers obey the sign.
15. Introduce Neji to disappointedtomato...hehe...
16. Take Daxter from Haven City and super-glue him to Neji's shoulder.
17. Sign him up for ball room dance lessons with Ino...hehe...
18. Tie him to a chair and leave him in a room with a sugar-high Naruto Uzumaki.
19. Inform Naruto that NEJI plans to destroy Icharaku Ramen! Record the torture inflicted on said Hyuga with a camera for memory purposes.
20. Make many, many copies of said footage and distribute around the world. Name it "Neji's Humiliating and Ridiculous Defeat!"...