Disclaimer: I don't own D.N.Angel.
(A.N.) While working on the next chapter of Touch, this popped into my head for no real reason, so I ran with it to see where it would take me. This little shot is what resulted. I hope that all who read like it a little bit. It's just a little take on what Krad could be thinking about Satoshi. A touch angsty.
There was no escaping it, really.
I knew it the first time I awoke in his mind, the first time he successful suppressed my first attemped manifestation. He was strong, my new Hikari. Strong and beautiful.
Even as I tried to break his will, he resisted me with single minded intensity. No one had done that before. No one had really wanted to, truthfully.
It was inevitable. I found myself wanting less to torture him, and wanting more to hold him. I wanted to cherish him. Slowly, but surely, I grew to value my Hikari.
Is this what it's supposed to feel like?
My soul is content to simply reside so close to his. His voice evokes such a strong response in the heart I long thought dead.
I stand now in the cage he had constructed for me in his soul. Gilded. Strong. He knows how to keep me under lock and key by now. Only when he is tired or in danger can I take control. Proud does not even begin to describe how this makes me feel. A little annoyed, as well, but not enough to harm him again. At least, not right now.
It is strange. I have never felt such reluctance to use my Tamer before in my existence. For three centuries, I have had no care for the consequences of my powers. I'd never given a damn about anything except fighting dark and possessing, not caring for, my Tamers. It was never in my nature. I had never cared to learn how to do this. Never had I the incentive.
But now… Now I find myself ensnared so completely by my lovely Hikari. It is hard to stand back from him and watch as he befriends Dark's vessel, but I say nothing. I do nothing. If it makes him happy…
Some days, I can see out my Hikari's eyes. I can see him when he looks at himself in the mirror. Always, without fail, I find myself enchanted yet again by pure sapphire eyes.
Is it strange? I am only an artwork, after all. And half an artwork, at that. I should not be capable of such feelings as I have now. I should be as cold as my former Tamers. Mayhap my Hikari's warm heart had changed me? It is possible. I have always responded, in some way or another, to the whims of my Tamers. Though none of them had felt as deeply as this one. Even his pain is sweet to me. Anything that comes of his soul is ambrosia. It revitalizes the dead and frozen parts of my being that I had not even known existed until they were defrosted and revived. But no more. I cannot bear his pain anymore, or his sorrow. Who would have thought that I would ever tire of my sadistic games? And yet I know that I cannot run from my nature. I know that I will hurt him agian. That knowledge hurts me more than I will ever let him know.
A bitter smile pulls at my lips. "Would you believe it, my darling Hikari?" I whisper in his mind. He is ignoring me again, I know. He will continue to ignore me, but he hears me, he is aware of my words. That is enough.
"Would you believe that I cherish you above all others?"
There is a jerk of surprise in his heart. Liar.
My bitter smile widens. "I have never lied to you Satoshi-sama. I never will."
Even now, with only feelings of resentment and hatred in his heart for me, I feel my own heart beat faster. I feel. And it is a bittersweet thing. I wonder if this newly awakened heart of mine can be broken. Can it be shattered like glass and ice? If it can, I am sure that this Hikari will be the one to do it.
Mayhap that's why I am attracted to him. Deep down, we are very alike, my Hikari and I. We both are adept at crushing the emotions of those around us. I don't know whether I should despair that fact, or revel in it.
There is still no escaping it, though. I, Krad, had fallen in love with Satoshi Hikari.
May the gods have mercy on him. I doubt I will, in the end.
My nature will eventually win out. I will hurt him, again and again.
But yet, there no escape. For either of us.
(A.N.) Please review. I don't do yaoi stuff usually, so I'd appreciate feedback about how I handled the relationship. Thanks for reading!