The following is a Kigo fanfic, which means some warnings are in order. There will be physical intimacy between two women. If this offends you, then please go away. If you are of an expanding mind, then by all means continue reading. If you are just some pervert looking for dirty stories... Well then, join the club.
I do not own Kim Possible, or any related characters. I also do not own a 1997 Chevy Impala, but that is completely irrelevant.
Chapter 1: Hangover
"Shego!" Dr Drakken ran about his lair, looking for his assistant. The one time he invents a truly spectacular device and she doesn't even have the decency to see him do it. "Shego! Get down here! Come see what I made!"
Sitting in her room, Shego rolled her eyes. If Drakken made something it usually fell under the category of "Mess", "Fire" or "Horrible-mistake-please-help-me". Shego left her room, walked downstairs and replied to her befuddled employer.
"What have you done now, oh great and powerful Oz? Thrill me with your scientific acumen."
"Oh, ha ha. I'll have you know that my latest invention is foolproof. It involves no explosions, sticky goo or painful orange blotches. By the way, again, really sorry about that." The last sentence he added after a irritated glare from Shego.
She sighed and replied, "Alright what has the good doctor done this time?"
Smiling proudly, Drakken produced a small clear phial filled containing an equally clear liquid. "This, my sarcastic sidekick, is my latest and greatest invention. Using this we, by which I mean you, can slip past any number of armed guards, and steal anything. This removes the human element from security."
"Well, what is it?"
With an unnecessarily grand flourish (showboating), he exclaimed "Alcohol! Specifically, it is condensed, pressurized Ethanol. Easily available and quickly processed, it can be used to render numerous guards too drunk to fight, or cause them to pass out. If needs be, it can even be lethal. I don't suppose we'll need to go that far, though. I certainly don't need any murder charges."
Shego was impressed. This was (dare I say it?) a really good idea. Getting the opposition blitzed sounded silly, but if it worked she wouldn't need to waste time fighting her way through any dangerous situations. Galling as it was, Shego began to offer Drakken a sincere compliment, but as luck would have it, the wall behind her blew up.
We have all seen enough heroic entrances to find them redundant. I will let you imagine a suitable ingress for Kim and Ron. Have you got it? Good, then let us jump straight to the physical altercations (wrestling). As usual, Ron is swinging at Drakken, while Shego pairs off with Kim. And...go.
"Give it up, Shego."
"Oh, Princess. Not that old cliché. If I haven't given up before what makes you think that I will this time?"
Kim and Shego fought each other, leaping and bounding between Drakken's lab tables, while Drakken feebly tried to ward off Ron. As Ron landed one final blow, the crystal phial fell from Drakken's hand and shattered on the floor.
The next day
As Ron woke, the first thing he noticed was how blue the sky was. The second thing he noticed was that he was, in fact, looking at sky, and was thus outside. Ron sat up and looked around, to establish his surroundings. He was wearing a floral dress and waders, he was laying in the middle of Fenway Park, and Rufus was curled up asleep under a file folder marked "Financial Records 2004" He nudged his friend "Rufus, wake up."
"I know you're tired, but we gotta get out of here." As Ron left the field, he could do nothing but wonder what that little glass thing was, and more importantly, where was Kim?
That same day, but somewhere else.
Kim hurt. Her head hurt, her back hurt, for the most part she hurt all over. She opened her eyes and felt a wave of nausea and dizziness wash over her. In short, Kim was hungover. She tried desperately to remember what had happened. She was fighting Shego, Drakken dropped a glass phial and... Everything went sort of mumbly after that. Kim looked about and realized that she was not in her room, or in any room she was familiar with. It looked like a very nice hotel, but she couldn't fathom why she was in a hotel. As Kim shifted under the covers, she felt something shift back.
Kim froze, as would any young lady who found herself hungover in bed with some stranger. She began to panic, as years of parents and teachers lecturing her began flooding back. She sat up, hoping that it was Ron, or really anyone she trusted on any level. At this point she couldn't afford to be picky. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, turned around and looked into the bloodshot eyes of a naked green woman.
The threshold of pain for sound in humans is 134 decibels. Rarely can a human scream break this threshold. This, however was one of those few times.
Shego didn't know why she was naked. She didn't know why Kim was naked in bed with her. She didn't know why Kim was screeching at her. But she had a very well founded theory, and as it was, Shego was right. "Quit, yelling!"
Kim complied, but began to cry instead. 'Oh, wonderful. Now I made her cry.'
Shego grabbed Kim by the shoulders, and looking into her eyes said "Kim, calm down. Focus. Now, let's calmly look at what happened. We got drunk. We did something stupid. That's it. You won't get pregnant. You won't catch anything. Let's just get dressed and go home, okay?"
Sobbing, Kim muttered and "Okay" and sat back down on the bed. Neither one of them moved for a while. Kim broke the silence and said
"I- I guess we-"
"Yeah. Yeah, we did."
Another brief silence. "You don't like... Remember anything?"
"No, not - no"
"So, wh-what was that thing Drakken dropped?"
"Uh, alcohol. I- he- um, we were going to use it to, like, knock out guards."
Both of them jumped when Shego's cell phone rang. "I'll just- I'm gonna-"
Shego fished the phone out of her catsuit and answered it. "Hello?... Yes, I know him... Emergency contact?... He's where?... ISRAEL?... (sigh) Yes, I'll be right there." Shego hung up and said to Kim "Drakken's in prison in Tel-Aviv. He was arrested for exposing himself at a bus stop." As mortified as Kim was, she snickered at the thought.
Shego said "So, are you... Gonna be alright?"
"Sure, yeah. I was just a little freaked."
" 'Cause I can stay, if you like want to talk, or..."
"No, I um- I'm good."
"Okay, well... See ya pumpkin." And with that, Shego dressed and left.
Kim sat alone, on the bed. Eventually, she would get up and shower, then she would call Wade to get some transport. Or maybe she would call in one of her favors and hitch a ride. But for now, she just sat on the bed thinking.
"That's him." Shego pointed out a still sleeping Drakken in one of the cells. He had been fortunate, the Israeli police hadn't recognized him, so unused were they to super villians. The guard nudged Dr D, who stumbled to his feet.
"Quit shoving, I'm leaving"
Shego signed the release forms and escorted him out of the prison.
"Ow, my head. Shego, why was I in there?"
Shego couldn't explain the generous mood she was in, but the replied "Uh, you were in a bar fight."
"Yeah, you should have seen the other guys. Big guys. You- you kicked ass Dr D."
Drakken gave her a sad smile "I pulled my pants down again, didn't I?"
"Yeah, you did."
Drakken sighed as he kicked a rock on the ground, "Damn, this always happens when I drink too much. Was it at another subway?"
As they walked up to Shego's jet, he looked around and asked "Shego, where are we?"
"Ah, we're in Israel. "
"The Holy Land, eh? Well, if I wasn't going to Hell before..." With that, they climbed into the jet and flew off.
Well, tell me. Did you enjoy my story? There will be more, at least one more chapter. Depending on how well it is received, there might be more. So please, read and review.