A/N:) — I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!! That means I can type up all that writing that I did overseas! This is a Shigure and Akito oneshot that I wrote in the middle of the night.


He stared down at the small body, wrapped in blankets. Shigure still wasn't used to the feelings that swirled through him at the mere sight of this being in Ren's arms. As sweet as knives plunged into his breast. He fights the tears and prays that someday this tiny bundle of blankets will no longer affect him so harshly, and yet . . . and yet he never wants that feeling to leave, that magical mixture of honey and his pulsating blood. His heart does beat faster, making him dizzy, and something presses close to his chest that makes breathing difficult. That's ok. Mental clarity, mere air is nothing compared to the baby before him. He could not go near Akito without remembering the first time he'd felt this, when he'd awoken and knew — beyond all reason knew — that God had arrived and his cheeks were sticky with tears and his eyes were red and swollen and there were knives in his chest and the taste of honey in his mouth, salty with the tears and bitter with the blood.

Now he's facing Ren, more bold than any other.

Ren's mouth is tight but Shigure is strong and her daughter is God. Somehow Ren cannot defy them, God and Dog. She hands Akito over and leaves the room with a sweep of raven hair. She looks back with the intention to glare at Shigure, but with God in his arms he meets her gaze and there is an old ancient power in his eyes, a power Ren does not have and does not wish to ever see again. It has consumed her husband and now her daughter and Ren can do nothing but hate. She goes back to her room and screams and throws things and no one notices or cares. Later servants will come and clean up the bloody glass and spray perfume to cover the smells of liquor and rage. They will smooth the carpet and lock the door that is staying locked more and more, letting Ren out less and less as the Sohmas attempt to hide their shame.

In Shigure's rooms Shigure cradles a baby-nearly-toddler with a shock of jet black hair on her head. He sits in the window and balances her in his lap. Today the window is closed and it's snowing so no birds come. For some reason that makes Shigure feel better. He stares down at Akito, at a beautiful little girl, at a God at an all-powerful woman, at a cranky baby. He loves her. It doesn't matter that she is not yet two years old. He is twisted so he can only expect his love to be twisted and wrong. He doesn't care. He will love her even if it hurts her. It already hurts him, so maybe he will get revenge if she feels at least part of his pain.

The Dog marvels at how silky her hair is, how shockingly pale her skin. The blankets she is settled in are as white as the snow outside. Shigure doesn't like them. White is pure and makes the baby look sickly. He is not pure. She is not pure.

He takes the slip off a pillow on his bed. It is red, his favorite color. It will be her favorite color too. He will make it be. He shoves the white blankets between his side and the cold windowpane. Then he wraps the baby girl in the pillow slip and cuddles her against his chest, feeling those knives imbedded in it give a particularly harsh twist. He could become addicted to that pain.

Big black eyes open and stare, heavy-lidded, into his own. He cannot look away, he cannot stifle the gasp that rips violently out of his throat. Tears gather in his eyes and he forces them out prematurely so they won't blur his vision. He never wants to look away from that incredibly warm, incredibly there person in his arms being supported by the whole of him.

After eons within a moment, it is her who looks away. Breath rushes back into his lungs as he remembers to breathe.

A tiny, delicate hand finds the scarlet cloth. Large black eyes stare in wonder. He begins to smirk until she looks right at him. He falls back into place. This is one person he cannot rule. For some reason this does not so much as irk him in the least. He dismisses the thought and focuses on Akito.

He smooths back her black silk hair and smiles as she nuzzles against his hand, anxious to be touched.

Her eyes slowly close again. Tiny, fragile fingers wrap around one of his own. The trembles under his skin taunt him. The touch of his God is sun kissed fire on his soul. His eyes close and his breath and body shudder with the feeling. He is crying quietly, shoulders shaking. Akito does not release him in sleep, her long dark eyelashes casting shadows on her cheeks. He loves how the red around her makes her look, and idly wonders if he can get Ayame to sew something red for Akito on the sly. Ren might not even notice, as she falls deeper into her mind and her raging madness. The mother is going crazy.

And the Snake had a really odd gift for sewing. It disgusted his mother. Just like the long hair and extravagant clothes. Shigure had seen the bruises shaped like Ayame's mother's hand and the scratch marks of long nails against creamy skin, no matter how hard Ayame tried to hide them. When it got too bad, Shigure would propose a sleep over, or slip Ayame extra bandages or pain medication or the stuff that prevents infection when he spotted bloodstains on his friends clothes.

Ayame would still be happy — ecstatic even — to make Akito beautiful scarlet robes. That was just Ayame.

He leaned over Akito's sleeping form and kissed that beloved forehead, hot tears falling from his cheeks onto Akito's tiny face.

Akito's eyes crack open momentarily. The hand not holding his finger reaches up to fiddle with his hair. She looks into his tear filled eyes.

"Doggie." she whispers in a little voice. Though he is frozen in place, his eyes widen. The first word uttered from God's lips. Then her eyes flutter shut and he rests his lips on her forehead. He frowns when he realizes how hot it is. Shigure guesses she has yet another fever. He cuddles her hot face to his cheek and goes to find Hatori.

"Doggie." he whispers to the air and the snow and the sleeping girl he loves.

A/N: this just came to me and I started writing and before I knew it I had this! I was half-asleep the entire time :) I think that Aki as a baby is SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!

Review please :)