Title: Cerulean's Just Another Word for Blue
Series: Kingdom Hearts II
Author: ConfessYourSins
Rating: PG-13
Main Characters: Axel, Roxas, Riku, Sora
Warnings: Language, some sexual innuendos, and boys loving boys
Pairings: AkuRoku, RikuSora
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts II or the characters in it.


Cerulean's Just Another Word for Blue


Chapter One
Freshman Folly

Axel

At some point I figured Riku would get back to normal, but in three years, he still hasn't. It was my fault to begin with, leading him on like that – wait, no, not leading him on. I genuinely wanted him, I wanted him so bad, and I waited six months for him.

And then I had him, and then I messed it all up.

It wasn't so much my fault, really. I mean, we were the only gay people at school. At an all boy, boarding, Catholic school… blech. I mean, shit man, what were we supposed to do?

…Oh, bad pun.

Anyway, sometimes, I still see him giving me these looks like he's thinking back to freshman year when we were still kids and were In Love. Yeah, In Love, with capital freaking letters. I love him now, and I loved him then. But man, was I – sorry, am I – bad for that guy. I could never love him the way he deserves, and it sounds so fucking noble of me to say it like that, but I quite fucking – sorry, freaking – literally took his heart in my hand and squashed it like a bug.

Or a beer can; I think I like the beer can analogy better.

So he just kinda looks at me like he misses me even though I'm right here and I have to admit, I miss him too. A lot, actually. But it would never work, and he knows it, and I know it, and I already fucked up, anyway, so what's a guy to do?

"I thought I was thinking hard, but I think you're thinking harder."

I blink and stare at Riku. Again, apparently, since I was already staring. "What? Oh, heh, not really thinking. Just dazing. Yanno." I lean back in the swivel chair that used to be Riku's, which I completely stole from him, and grin from ear to ear. "What were you thinking about?"

He thinks for a second, then shrugs and returns to staring at the ceiling while lying on the bed. He's so cute it makes me sick; man, and that's coming from me. And I am hot. I'm flaming.

That time, the pun was intended.

"It's our senior year. Next year we'll be at different colleges with new friends. It just makes me sad to know that this is the last year I'll be sharing a room with you."

"Nah. We're friends til the end, man." I flash him a toothy smile and give him a thumbs up. "Right?"

Riku nods but continues to stare at the ceiling. "School starts tomorrow. All new freshman, again." He sounds odd, even for Riku.

"Hey, you okay man?" I spin around in the swivel chair once for fun then stand up and walk over to his bed. "Wanna… yanno, like, talk about it?"

I sound weird, even to myself, and Riku can't help but grin. Yeah, me, talk about it? I'm so bad at that stuff. He thinks it's hilarious when I try and be all nice and concerned. I'm just not so good at that stuff. I guess that was the problem to begin with.

He never complained once about me, and that was a feat in and of itself. Still is; he just keeps quiet and broods but never says anything, 'cause he's Riku and that's just the way he rolls. He's quite fucking amazing.

Makes me wanna find him a nice guy – a good guy – but I don't really think he'd like me prying. It's just a little nosy, and other than me, I don't know what kind of guys he likes. And I don't even count anymore, since there's nothing between us. Best friends forever, gay as that sounds – damn, I need to stop with the bad unintended puns – and that's how it's gonna be.

"Not really. I think I'm just going to go to bed. Do you mind hitting the lights?"

I nod and stand up. I walk to the light and just as I'm about to turn it off I joke, "Don't you wanna take your clothes off?"

I barely manage to dodge the pillow that flies my way.

… But I don't manage to dodge the book. Right in the chest, too. I fall back against the door and groan as I slide down it onto the floor. Fucker. I will destroy him

Riku sits up and looks over at me, eyes mock wide. "Oh, sorry. I thought you were faster than that."

He is so dead.

I half-crawl, half-stumble over to him and take the pillow he holds up away from him, then attempt to smother him with it. "Take it back, you sick fuck, or I will kill you and all those that you love!"I scream at him as he tries to kick me away. Even though he plays rugby, I am still taller and thus stronger. And more beautiful. Way more beautiful. I think.

Maybe I should take a poll. Polls are pretty accurate, in my opinion. I'll just survey all the people that love me more than they love him. Hah. That'll teach him.

"Axel! Shit! Get off of me!" Riku shouts as he manages to grab my hair and tug on it. I yelp and stop shoving the pillow down his throat. He lets go, then smacks me in the side of the head. "For the love of God, if you ever do that again I will fucking kill you!"

Aww, he's mad. He's so cute when he's mad! "But you started it," I whine as I try not to grin. It doesn't work, and I get another smack in the head. "Aww, shit," I groan as I rub my head, then punch him in the shoulder. "You're too violent for me."

"Me? I'm too violent for you?" he yells into my ear. I wince and stand up, backing away. He's going to rant now. He always does whenever I say stupid shit like that. It's like a goddamned curse.

"Riku, I was just kidding," I say, holding my hands out to either side with a little shrug. "Yanno, a joke?"

Nope, he doesn't bite. "Of all the people in the world to complain about violence, especially unnecessary violenceyou should be the one to talk. Every day, it's another ridiculous stunt of yours, on me or the whole damn school, and you wanna call me violent? You should take a lesson in humility, or… or…"

Oh, thank God, he's run out of big words that I don't understand. What the fuck is humility? I think he just made that one up. "Or what?" I hop from one foot to the next then back into the chair. "You should totally go to sleep now before you say something you'll regret, Riku."

He sneers and rolls over in the bed, ignoring me. Ah, another typical night with Riku. I hope he doesn't kill or smother me while I sleep. But wouldn't that be so typical?


I wake up to Riku's alarm going off. Not mine, because I don't have one. Life should be lived in the moment, not by a damned clock. Time's all relative, anyway. That's just my way of saying, albeit very elegantly, that I am always late. Always.

Riku's already dressed. Must be the second alarm, then. He turns around as he feeds his belt into the loops on his pants.

On a side note, our uniforms rock. Of all the school uniforms we could have hadwe got the best ones. Any type of nice white shirt, polo or button-up, and a choice of navy shorts or navy slacks. Plus, for all of those boys who like stupid sweater vests, they offer those with the school logo, or a navy blazer. Whatever you prefer.

Riku likes emotastic tight navy slacks – how they're slacks when they're pretty tight is beyond me – and a well fitted polo with the collar popped. Yeah, he's trendy like that. I think that's in right now, anyway. His belt's always the same, a black and white checkered one with a silver buckle that's past faded now. Same once since freshman year. Oh, and black chucks. We don't have to wear dress shoes. Kick ass.

He finishes feeding the belt through, then tightens it and looks over at me. "You should get up. Breakfast ends in fifteen minutes."

Crap. I don't eat breakfast, but I like juice. Orange juice is the best, or pineapple orange. I have a bit of a sweet tooth. I groan and roll out of bed, feet first, and rub my eyes.

Before he can say another word about hurrying up, I raise my hand and nod. "Yeah, I'm up. Gimme two minutes to put on my clothes."

"And your hair?" he jokes with a twinge of a smile pulling on his lips. I can feel my eye twitching with the urge to throw something. Something big and heavy, in particular. Like a desk.

"It's fine. Thanks, though. I know you're always looking out for my best interests," I mumble as I grab a pair of slacks out from under my bed. My pants are always wrinkled – so are my shirts, and so is my blazer. And tie. Yes, I wear a tie. It's a real one, too, because for whatever sick reason I like attempting to tie it, making Riku do it, and then ruining it just to make him do it again at lunch. It's like a little ritual at this point. He doesn't wear a tie, though; he thinks they're tacky.

I stand up and drop trou as Riku turns away. "Hurry up," he belts.

"Yeah yeah, gimme a minute." I pull them on, find a belt lying on the floor and put it through, then grab my shirt off the desk. I opt for a long sleeved button-up because it looks good with the tie. I roll the sleeves up a quarter of the way, then grab my blazer from the hook by my bed and wrap it around my waist.

After a quick look in the mirror to fix my already perfect hair – what the hell was he talking about, anyway? – I grab my messenger bag and put my hand on Riku's shoulder. "Okay, let's go."

We head to the cafeteria where everyone has happily congregated for the first day of classes. Demyx and Leon are already waiting for us and – thank the Lord – Leon has a glass of orange juice with my name on it. Literally. It says 'Axel' and it's all cute and red and has a twisty lid with a straw. Leon rocks.

"You look awake," he says as I sit down next to him and practically steal it from his hand. "Rough night?"

"Riku tried to kill me," I blurt before thinking. Here it comes: Riku's retort.

"I tried to kill you? You're the one who tried to smother me with a pillow!"

I grin and nod. "That's true. I did."

"Obviously didn't work," Leon points out and I laugh. Leon's freaking hilarious. In a not so obvious way, though. He's pretty quiet, but totally awesome. Plus, he doesn't care that we're gay. After me and Riku came out, a lot of the other students – mostly the jocks, go figure – made fun of us at first. But then after we kicked their asses they just stayed away.

Seifer started the most shit, 'specially with Riku. I just about ripped him a new one, but that was only after Riku did. I've never seen Riku so pissed since then. Nothing like a gay basher to start your day.

"Axel, you know Riku's not a morning person," Demyx points out as I sip the juice out of my sippy cup. "He needs coffee. And a donut."

"Bagel," Riku corrects. "I like bagels."

Demyx grins and shrugs. "Yeah, pastry-type-thing. Whatever."

Riku gets up to find coffee and a bagel while I catch up with Leon. He didn't even get in until this morning, something about visiting an old friend. Leon and Demyx wear the usual school attire, navy slacks and white polo shirts. No ties. Again, I think ties rock. Everyone should wear them. Oh, crap…

I touch my chest and punch myself mentally. "Tie?" Leon asks as he arches a brow. I nod. "Go get it. We'll save your spot."

I stand up and sprint back to my room. After rummaging through some of my stuff, then some of Riku's stuff, then my stuff again, I finally find it hidden in one of my text books. Well, not quite hidden. Apparently my tie makes a very good bookmark.

Door locked and tie in hand, I set off down the hall to get back to the cafeteria. My juice is a'calling. I wave to a few friends, eyeball a few enemies, and just as I am about to walk into the cafeteria, someone runs into me. Hard. I fall sideways and grab the cafeteria door's metal bar to keep from falling over as the other guy hits the ground. Standing back up straight, I sigh. Mornings suck.

"Oww," the boys groans as he rubs his head. Man, and I thought my hair was ridiculous. This kid has hair sticking out in every direction, plus a few that don't have names yet. It kinda works though, for him. He looks up at me and my breath catches in my throat.

I've never seen eyes like his. They're not light, they're not dark – it's like a perfect combination of the two, only they're blue and amazing and I don't even have words to describe them. Too bad he's got such a baby face. Kid's obviously a freshman, and my taste isn't really for younger kids. Or kids who literally look like kids. Guy looks like he's twelve.

"You okay?" I ask as I offer him a hand up. His smile could melt even Riku's heart, and that's an icy heart to melt. He nods and takes my hand, wobbling a little before regaining his composure. I let go of his hand and fold my arms over my chest as I give him a once-over.

He's wearing navy shorts and a white polo shirt along with a blazer. Regular tennis shoes, nothing fancy, and white ankle socks complete his outfit. Man, this kid is such a newbie. It's adorable. Makes me wanna just eat him up, then vomit. Yep. Adorable in that kinda sickly, cute, preppy boy way.

"I'm Sora!" he says, energetically extending a hand. I take it cautiously, shake it once, then return my hand to the folded-arms position. I must look mean and intimidating; I am one of the biggest bullies in the school. But for good reason, I must add. In my opinion.

"Axel. Freshman?"

"Yeah… Is it that obvious?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely."

Sora's big blue eyes look down at the floor for a second, then he perks up and smiles at me. Again. My knees wanna melt. God, this kid is like fucking crack. "I'm new. I was just trying to find the cafeteria before class starts. I woke up late…" he trails off and scratches the back of his head as he grins dumbly. "I guess I found you instead!"

I arch a brow and nod. "Yeah. Well, this is the cafeteria, but they're gonna close, so if you want food, I highly recommend getting it now." I turn and go inside, Sora trailing behind me. I sit down at the table while he wanders around for a second before finding the end of the short line. As I watch him, I can feel Leon's eyes on me.

"Can I help you with something?" I ask as I slowly turn to face him. Leon grins and shakes his head. "What?"

Riku sits back down with his coffee and bagel. Plain, always plain. How boring. He should use jelly, or jam, or preserves. Anything with sugar. "I hate waiting in line," he mumbles before he takes a sip of his coffee. "And I hate lukewarm coffee."

"Ah, but it is still coffee," I point out with a half-smile. "And that's all you need to start your day."

Riku nods as he takes a bite of his bagel. "What took you so long, anyway? Do you want me to do your tie?"

"Yep." I switch to the other side of the table and hand Riku my tie. "In advance, will you do it again at lunch?"

"Just a quickie?" he jokes and Demyx chokes on his muffin. "I was just kidding, Demyx," Riku adds quickly as he puts the tie around my neck. I stopped paying attention to how he does my ties ages ago; I figure he'll always be around to do them, so why bother?

Just as Riku finishes up I hear someone clear their throat. I look at Leon and Demyx, whose eyes have nearly fallen out of their heads looking to my left. I look and find that kid, Sora, standing next to me with a plate of food.

"Uh, 'sup?"

Sora smiles. "Um, I don't really know anyone here… Do you mind if I sit with you?" Riku practically sticks his whole bagel in his mouth while Demyx and Leon pretend to have a conversation. Son of a bitch.

It's his first day, so I'll be nice just this once. "Yeah, sure. Sit." I pat the spot next to me and Sora sets his tray down, then slides onto the bench. "Uh, guys, this is Sora. He's a freshman."

Demyx chuckles and Leon gives me a smirk. Man, they are going to give me so much shit for this later. "Uh, Sora, this is Leon, Demyx, and Riku."

"You're all… seniors?" he asks as he pours milk over his cereal. I nod. "Cool." He peels his banana and I am pretty sure Riku just choked on his bagel. My eyes glance in his direction as he's downing his coffee. Huh.

"You alright?" I whisper to him. He nods, but only focuses on his coffee. I look over at Leon, who is trying not to laugh. "Am I missing something?" I ask him. Leon shakes his head and Demyx shrugs.

"You're asking the wrong guy. But I'm gonna head to class before the first bell rings. You guys want me to save you spots for home room?"

"I'll go with you," Leon says as he stands up. "We'll save you guys spots. Don't take too long, though…" he trails off and gives Riku a funny look, then heads off with Demyx.

I finish my juice and stick the sippy cup in my messenger bag, then lay my head down on the table. It's metal, so it's nice and cold, but when it's winter there's nothing worse than getting shocked every time you move. Sora's happily chowing down on his cereal while Riku continues to be more than abnormally anti-social.

I nudge him and he shoots me a dirty look. "What's your deal?" I whisper, leaning in close to him. "Something wrong?"

"No."

Ooh, lies. Such lies! "Is it because he's a freshman?" I tease. Riku rolls his eyes and I nudge him again. "What's your deal, man?"

"Nothing," he grumbles and stands up. He leaves his food on the table and grabs his backpack, then walks away. Sheesh. How rude!

I turn my attention to Sora, who is watching Riku leave. He looks back at me with an innocent face. "Is he… mad at me? Did I do something wrong?" he asks. Aww, I just wanna pet him on his head and give him dog treats! Good boy, good boy!

"Nah. That's just how Riku is." I shrug and grin at Sora. "Well, I've gotta get to home room. I'll see you later." Ooh, mental kick in the head. Do not instigate a friendship; he might actually want to be friends, and seniors don't hang with freshman. Especially the school bully.

Sora grabs my wrist as I get up and I almost fall down. He's got a pretty firm grip for someone so small. I resist the urge to hit him with the back of my hand – it's a reflex, so sue me. "Yes?" I say as I lean down and try not to bite his head off. "Can I… help you?"

"I don't know where my class is."

"Uh huh…"

"Will you show me where to go? Please?" And he looks up at me with those big blue eyes and I curse myself for not offering sooner. How could anyone turn down that pretty face? Ugh, I'm gonna vomit. This kid is freaking adorable and he obviously knows it. Bastard. He's not even my typeand I'm bending over backwards for him.

… Goddammit with the bad puns.

I pull my hand away and head for the cafeteria doors. "C'mon. I'll take you to freshman home room, but don't think that this makes us friends."

"Okay!"

God, kill me. In nominis Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.

Ah, lunch. "Quid facit hodie?" I hear someone shout. What the hell? No rational person would speak Latin outside of class. I turn around, and sure enough, it's Sora running toward me. Goddammit.

"Uh, hey," I say with a brief and awkward wave. Paranoid? Yes, I am. I have a reputation to keep. I worked three years for it, and this kid ain't gonna ruin it. Not if I have anything to do with it!

"We have the same lunch. Wanna get something to eat?"

Eat? Yeah, I'd love some food. Food also costs money, something I don't have much of. See, I'm on an athletic scholarship for soccer, so other than base tuition and board, I'm a little short on the moolah. Sucks being on your own…

"Hey, it's my treat! For helping me find my home room!" I try not to look at his smile, but it's too late, and I find myself agreeing to let him buy me lunch. Damn. That means he's gonna sit with us, and then I'll look like a loser. Oh well. Free food is hard to turn down.

We get into line, but I can already see Leon and Demyx eyeing me from the table. Leon can't help but smirk and I stick my tongue out at him while Sora's busy admiring my tie. Leon rolls his eyes, and when I turn back to look at Sora – which is actually looking down, since the kid's over a head shorter than I am – he's more than intimately inside my personal bubble.

"Hey hey hey!" I hiss as I swat him away hurriedly. It's too late; I can hear Demyx and Leon laughing from the table, so I keep my back to them. "Personal space, kid." He's still holding onto my tie and I pull it out of his hands slowly. "Got it memorized?"

Sora grins and nods. "Yeah, I got it memorized." He seems to like my catch phrase. I do have to admit, it's a pretty good one. It may just be my best, but I don't like to brag. Not a lot, anyway. Sora tugs on my sleeve and I look back down.

"What?"

"What do you want to eat?"

"Uh, orange juice."

I know, I know. Baby blue eyes is offering to pay for my lunch and I want juice? But I feel bad, having him pay. I can pay for myself, and that means I get juice. Orange juice.

"That's it?"

I shrug. "Orange pineapple juice?"

"Aren't you hungry? People who play sports have faster metabolisms than people who don't, plus you're really tall. You should eat food. I love food!" He continues on about his love of food while I manage to catch a glimpse of Riku. He's already gotten his lunch and just sat down with Demyx and Leon. He looks like he's in a better mood now than before, at least.

"So how about pizza? Or a sandwich?"

"Wha? … Uh, yeah. Sure. Whatever. Go for it." I wave my hand at him as he grabs an armful of food and dumps it onto his tray. Jeez. What a pig. "Turn around, fucker," I mumble to myself.

"Who? Me?" And then Sora pops up in front of me like he's a freaking rabbit out of a magic hat and I yelp. Yeah, I yelp. Not scream, not shout, not grunt, I fucking yelp. To make matters worse, at that very moment Riku just happened to turn around and now there's this stupid grin on his face that's just pissing me off so bad, but I was the one who just screamed like a little girl. Kinda. I yelped.

"No!"

"Oh. Okay. I got your juice!" Sora smiles for about the millionth time today and I am pretty sure his pearly white teeth just sparkled at me. Yes, they sparkled. Holy crap, he's like a living, breathing cartoon!

I chuckle nervously and nod my head. "Yeah, great. Are we done?"

"Uh huh. I'm gonna go pay." Sora heads to the register to pay for the food while I mosey on over to the table, hoping no one's in the mood to crack jokes.

"So how's your boyfriend?" Demyx jokes. Dammit. "Isn't he a little young for you? Ooh, I bet he's a virgin!"

"Leave him alone, Demyx," Riku growls. He looks up at me and winks. "Sit down before I change my mind."

Whoa, Riku's being nice. Weird. Really nice. That only means that he's really mad. I shake my head and opt to sit next to Leon. Again. He's safe.

"I'll take my chances over here where you won't strangle me or castrate me under the table," I say while shooting him a dirty look. "You're only nice when you're really mad. So whatever it is you're pissed about, totally sorry, don't kill me, yada yada yada."

Sora sits down next to Riku and sets the tray in the middle of the table so we can both reach it – or at least that's what I assume. "Hello again," he says cheerfully as he grabs a piece of cheese pizza off the tray.

Leon pinches me and I jump, suddenly sitting up straight. "What?" I whine in his ear as Sora chows down. "He's like World of Warcraft! No matter how much I try to stay away, he's everywhere!"

"Sure. Only you're not paying $14.95 a month for him," Leon points out with a smirk. "Although… I'm sure you would."

"Hey!" I smack Leon then scoot about three feet away in a pathetic attempt to avoid getting hit back. Leon's armspan is almost as long as mine, and that means he has a good range of attack.

… Hmm, I don't think Riku likes Sora very much. He's pretty much shut up since Sora got here. His nose is buried in a book while he eats his salad. Eww, salad is so boring. Oh, wait, it's chicken caesar. Yum. Chicken caesar rocks.

Ugh, I am so hungry.

"Here!" It's like he can read my goddamned mind. Kick ass! I take the pizza away from Sora and chow down; how did he know pepperoni is my favorite? I think the kid's starting to grow on me just a little. He's a bit pesky, a little naïve, but he's not too bad for a freshman. I do stress the freshman part, though.

Riku keeps giving Sora weird looks. Okay, he must really not like him. I like him. I think Sora's fun. So far, at least. Heh. I wave at Riku and he gives me a little smile. It's better than nothing. Just gotta take what you can get.

"Do any of you guys know about the soccer team?" Sora asks before he throws the last piece of his pizza into his mouth. He swallows, then adds, "I played soccer at my old school, and I wanted to try out for the team here."

A man after my own heart! I just wanna cry and give him a swirlie as initiation into my life. Sweet!

"Actually, Axel plays soccer. He plays center forward. He's really good," Leon says giving me a little smirk. Yeah, I'm awesome at soccer.

"What do you play?" I ask Sora.

"Forward, usually. Sometimes goalie, but I'm kinda short…" he trails off and giggles. Yeah, giggles. Weird. "It makes it tough, but I'm not a bad goalie."

"Well, you should try out for the team. They're always looking for talented players. I'll let the coach know; tryouts start in a few weeks, so get ready." Leon pokes his pasta with his fork, obviously unimpressed with the chef's masterpiece. "I'd offer to help you, but I'm really busy right now with all my extra curriculars."

Dammit. That's Leon's way of saying, Hey, help the newbie out. He could use some friends. So, of course I've got to do the nice thing, since Sora's giving me a look that I can't ignore. Stupid freshman.

"Uh, I've got some time, so if you want, you can like, prepare for tryouts with me. But if you suck, there's nothing I can do for you." It sounds so nice, even though I tried to make it seem like a burden. Sora's eyes light up and he nods his head eagerly.

"Yeah! That would be great, Axel!"

God had better be giving brownie points for this. I missed confession last week, so we're square. Hear that, God? We're even now


By the time I get back to the room, it's almost midnight. Not my fault, though. I mean, the guys wanted to go out drinking, and I know this little place that's not too far where the drinks are cheap and the bartenders don't ID… Hey, at least I'm not smashed. I'm being pretty quiet…

"You woke me up," Riku gripes as he sits up in bed. I turn on the light and smile earnestly. "Don't gimme that stupid smile. Your face is bright red. Just be quiet. I'm trying to sleep."

"Aww, c'mon Riku! Don't you wanna stay up and have a pillow fight with me?" I say in a high voice. I bounce over to him and jump on his bed, practically sitting on top of him. "It'd be fun!"

"I don't want fun right now, I want sleep," he whines as he tries to push me away. I know I'm totally invading Riku's bubble, but there's nothing better than jumping around while lit. Slightly lit. I'm not that drunk.

"Don't be a baby!"

"Axel, shit, go away!" Riku tries to push me away, but I collapse onto his bed next to him, which doesn't really work that well, since our beds are tiny and half Riku's bed has totally been commandeered by pillows. Mutiny!

Riku gives in and lets me lay next to him. Hah. I win. Screw you, buddy! "So what'cha thinkin' about?" I ask in another high pitched voice. Riku turns away from me and lets his arm hang over the side of the bed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Are you done invading my personal space?"

"It didn't used to be personal." And as soon as I say it, I know it was stupid. Riku tenses up and doesn't say anything. Bad memories. Bad everything, and I know it's worse for him than for me. Stupid me, stupid me. Ten Hail Mary's tomorrow for that.

Now, here's the thing about being drunk: everyone has a kind of drunk that they are. Me? Uber flirty, bad-decision making, totally morally reprehensible kinda drunk. Riku puts up with it since we're best friends, but I think he really hates that I drink so much. Secretly. Everything's a secret with him.

I reach out to touch him, but suddenly stop short. Bad idea, Axel. Every time I drink, I try to stay away from Riku so I don't do something stupid. It's really for his benefit, even though he probably thinks that I'm doing it to get away from him or something equally stupid.

Riku shifts uneasily and – sucks for me – his shirt comes up just a little bit on his back, enough to see this little birthmark he has on the right side of his spine, just above the elastic of his pajama pants. I always used to make fun of that… Goddammit, here I go again. Why couldn't he have just stayed asleep? My libido's fucking ridiculous, man. And worst thing is, it's not just him. It's everyone.

"Are you going to get out of my bed or am I going to have to force you?" he grumbles. Aww, don't be mad, Riku. I was totally avoiding hitting on you! Can't you appreciate it?

Okay, so everyone does this, and I am no exception. You're just sitting there - or lying there, or whatever - next to someone, and you're wondering if they like you and if you should make the first move, yada yada yada. It's like you're scripting the next ten minutes of your life if only they would turn the fuck around. And then they do and you're like, Oh shit! because suddenly it's happening and you're trying to comprehend the moment and take notes so you can remember it forever just in case it never happens again…

I do that with Riku all the time. When I'm drunk. I guess that doesn't say much... alcohol makes me a little stupid and, uh… promiscuous, heh. But it's a tough battle, being that I, uh… I haven't really ever gotten over him. Not like that, it's just that sometimes… I just wanna hold him like I used to after we beat the crap out of stupid people who picked on him since he was less intimidating than me or something shitty like that. And he's such a quiet crier you'd never even know it was happening until you felt the tears on your shirt and…

"Axel? Did you pass out?"

Oh, I've been too quiet. Before I can say anything, Riku rolls over and gives me a funny look. "…Hello?" I say.

"Just go to bed. I'll wake you up for class in the morning."

I don't like Riku being pissed with me, or annoyed, or anything but completely happy with me. Which isn't too often, unfortunately. Dammit, maybe it's me? … Nah!

"Hey, don't be mad at me," I say quietly as I look down at his cute blue and white checkered pillow cases. "C'mon, Riku, at least stop being mad at me so I can get some sleep."

I look at him and his eyes are annoyed, but definitely not as angry as before. "Fine. I'm not angry. Now go to bed. You're starting to smother me."

I laughed. Me, smother him? Absurd. I could never smother anyone, because everyone loves me! But I'm totally glad Riku's way more level-headed than I am, because if he wasn't, we'd be in so many bad situations all the time that we'd probably stop being friends. Well, I'd probably be the one putting us in the bad situations… But whatever. He's the logical one; I'm the never-think-twice one, but it usually ends not so happily.

"G'night, Riku," I say softly as I sit up and crawl out of the bed. I start to walk to my bed, but turn around and lean over Riku and smile. "Don't let the bed bugs bite."

"Shut up! I hate bed bugs!"

"I know. Sleep tight!"

"AXEL!"


A.N.: Massive thanks to 1/2 of Hanitachan for being my beta and catching stupid typos I make like how to spell 'folly' (HINT! There is no 'e' in 'folly'). Also for catching double explanation points, which I do out of habit. Anyway, enjoy and review! 'Specially if you love Axel as much as I do...

Also, for those of you who don't know Janice Dickinson and worship her like the goddess she is, "drop trou" is another way to say drop your pants. If you love Axel, and are reading this, then you should automatically know who Janice Dickinson is because she is the epitomy of extrovertedness. Yes, I just invented that word. And I'm copyrighting it.