Oh, you fangirls are fun to tweak. No, really, when I said, "I am NOT AdventureAddict," I meant "I am NOT AdventureAddict." Not "I'm not AdventureAddict because I'm portraying a character in these notes!" I didn't mean that actually, I am AdventureAddict, I'm just pretending.
Nah. I'm confusing myself, and that's pretty bad.
Okay, let's put it this way. AdventureAddict and I are two separate entities. We have separate minds, separate memories, separate existence. Have you crazy fangirls even considered that sometimes friends post things on one another's fanfiction accounts? That I'll give you as a fact to work with. Now, whether the friend of AdventureAddict's that posts things on her fanfic account is really Edward Elric or not, that I'll leave up to you.
And for the record, I don't think I laid out that no, I am not Edward Elric because he doesn't exist. I said "Everyone says Edward Elric is not real." Says. If Mustang says I'm short, does that make it true? Not necessarily.
Okay, maybe that's a bad example.
Gasp. Yes, I've matured enough that I can now poke fun at my own height. Go ahead, throw the short insults at me, fangirls, I can take them like a man now! Ha!
Let's see… Ah. If Rosé says that Cornello is only trying to do good for Lior and would never lead the town astray, does that make it true? Hell, if Cornello says it himself, does even that make it true? Hell no.
So… what to rant about this time, eh, fangirls? It's strange to look back and see how I've matured since… when did this thing start, anyway?
27 June 2007? Damn… Do I have no life or something? Then again, twelve rants in over a year… Okay, I take that back, I must have something that occupies my time otherwise. Oh yeah, Al and Addict.
And yeah, I hang out with her. This should not be a problem, since I have distinguished myself as a second entity next to Addict. Now, if it really was her writing these and she said she hangs out with Edward freaking Elric on a regular basis, now that would be bad.
Or not. Confusing myself again. I seem to be good at that recently.
Ha. The computer hates all my Amestrian words. Easily distracted. Hey, Addict, add the word "Elric" to the computer dictionary already, you sure as hell use it enough.
Yes, I'm acting strange…er this note than I usually do. Either suck it up or go read some other fanfic. That's right, you heard me.
So… Weird to look back at those other notes from over a year ago. I look back at those years and cringe now. Every time I see an example of how I behaved back then, I think, "Hell, I was one whiny little brat." Wait, am I ranting about myself this note?
Anyway, now that I've matured somewhat more than I used to be, I can actually look at these reviews you fangirls leave me and think of better things to say than "Fuck you! I don't need your approval!" Well, I still don't need your approval, but I have half a brain for social interaction now.
So… Damn, I'm going to shoot myself in the foot saying this, but. I'm going to reply to some reviews from now on. Notice how I don't say "all." You want me to reply to your review, you have to have something good to say. I'm doing this for my fun, not yours, so I'll only reply to something worth replying to.
So yes, from now on, I'm open for questions. Shoot me if it doesn't work out. And I'm not putting names. I'm a lazy ass. Look up your own review and see if I refer to something you said if you're curious.
"OH, Ed, you're so cute when you rant!"
Sigh. Has nothing I've said the past eleven notes penetrated your thick skull?
"Since when did I grow a brain?! I thought it died after reading Breaking Dawn (You know, BD. In the Twilight series... ultimate crap.)"
That would kill a brain. Edward Cullen is a disgrace to all golden eyed Edwards everywhere. If there's more than us two. He's mine to kill. Painfully and slowly I'm going to kill that Cullen bastard.
And yeah, for the record, I've read the disgrace to literature known as the Twilight saga. Over someone's shoulder, but I have read it. I would have rather taken a bullet from Riza to the skull. Serves me right for loving books and deciding to read as many as I can.
"By any chance, are you a masochist?"
What the hell is up with that? No, just because I chose to get automail does not make me a masochist. Uh, hello, maybe you don't need all limbs to create the Philosopher's Stone (Though that would be a challenge) but I'd say that it's not wise to have your little brother push you in a wheelchair into the exam room for State Alchemists. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think that would work.
As far as I know, I haven't ever met someone who got automail just because they enjoyed pain. You'd have to be pretty damn dedicated to pain in order to do that. Especially if you haven't lost your lims beforehand and decide to just cut them off to get automail.
I'm not a masochist just because I opted to go for a life where I didn't have to live in a wheelchair until I died. Even if I hadn't become a State Alchemist I would have gotten automail. Hell, lots of people besides me do, and that doesn't make them masochists. It's useful. Yes, hella painful, but there's lots of benefits if you're willing to get over the "I'm in agony" part of it. Is a kid a masochist if he decides to go to school when he feels sick because he doesn't want to fall behind?
Maybe that's a bad example, but it's the best I could come up with that relates to your crazy world. I'm not a masochist just because I grit my teeth and decided to deal with the pain of automail because I thought it'd help my life more than a wheelchair would.
Oh and the other point. I don't let Winry because I'm masochistic. She hits me with those things because A. She is damn fast and catches me by surprise. B. I'm not going to use martial arts on her. I try not to hit girls, especially childhood friends.
"No, I'm not gonna call you Ed, or Edward, or Eddy-poo((o_o)Who am I to call you Eddy-poo, your wife?!)."
Yeah, you'd better not. I might be more mature than I used to be, but the only person who'd be able to call me that and live would have to be a wife or fiancé or very close girlfriend or something else along those lines.
"Anyway, how's the family?"
Um. Fine. Does this strike anyone else as somewhat creepy? I don't know you, do I?
"Of course. AA is clearly straight. You. Don't. Like. Touching. Woman's. Breasts. I mean, look at Psiren! They were huge! And you got so scared! I mean, if that's you, that's okay. But dude. You can't even pretend to be AA."
Let me set the record straight. I. DO. Like. Touching. Women's. Breasts.
That sounds horrible.
The only thing with Psiren is that's an awkward and strange situation. Plus in the middle of a fight is not exactly when I want to be enjoying breast-touching, especially when it would give the other opponent a clear advantage.
The only reason I yelp and leap away when I accidentally touch a girl's breasts is mostly because I don't want to be kicked in the groin and told I'm taking advantage of a girl. If I touch breasts, I want the girl to actually give me permission to do so, and I want her to actually be someone special to me.
Plus, that series showed a part of my life where I was still really young and immature in many ways. I'm not like that anymore. Back then it was probably more of a "terrified" of touching women's breasts than a "doesn't like it." Especially terrifying to a young guy because we know we do like it. At least, sometime after puberty. If you're referring to the 11-year old times, then I probably didn't like it, point taken.
So. I'm answering questions now. And still ranting. Why not? This is more fun than I thought it would be. You want to puzzle out in your reviews whether I'm really Edward Elric or not, go ahead. You want to ask me about alchemy, go ahead. Just sound somewhat intelligent in your reviews-stuff and you have more of a chance of me replying.
If you ask me things like "OMG! Edo-kun! Ok um do u thnk its creepy to have a tv show about u in ths world? I was curios! i thnk you're the hottestest pershun in the uneverse! Ok bye Edo-kun! Lolz." You'll get a response like "Yeah, it's creepy, it created fangirls like you, what else could it be? Moving on."
Nope. Not an instant "Oh, my, you're the girl I'm going to marry! I loved you as soon as I read the 'Ok um'! You're so perfect in every way, let's run away together!" Ha. Yeah, right, you wish.
For the record, don't try to win me over and make me fall in love with you in your reviews. It's not going to work. Serious.
I think I'm shooting myself in the foot. If this proves to be a bad idea from the reviews I get, I'll stop replying to reviews and go back to ranting.
Ha. I sound like a daddy scolding a kid. I guess Addict was right about how I'd make a good dad someday.
Oh and really, I'm not kidding when I say I'm not Addict. These rants were first posted on her account when I didn't have my own account. Now it has too much of a following for me to move it to my own account. I'm azurespiral on this site. Go ahead, look me up, I've written some stuff. Not for a while, but hey, I've still written some stuff.
That's it; I'm done. This is the freaking longest note-rant-whatever I've ever done. But what the hell, it was fun.