Chapter 1: Deep, Dark Memories

I held my daughter close to my body as I ran from my house to the next in the pouring rain. I heard her cry and I tried to calm her telling her everything would be alright. I was only 19 years old, sometimes I thought I couldn't handle raising a two year old but then I looked at all the joy and love she brought and everything seemed okay. I ran up the white porch and knocked on the door. Finally a saw a lady in her early fifties open the door, with a worried look on her face.

"Not again Alyssa…" she said to me taking my daughter out of my arms.

"I know, I really don't know what to do Mrs. Cena." I told her, tears along with raindrops flowing down my face. "I'll be right back, I gotta go pick up some stuff from my house." I told her and I walked off the porch and back into the rain.

I sighed as I walked back into my house. My father had left when I was a baby and I never saw him again. After all these years I finally realized why he left; I was actually wondering why he didn't bring me with him. My mother was an alcoholic and a druggie. One minute she would be okay then the next minute she'd come after me with a knife. I couldn't live here anymore especially not with my little girl. I couldn't risk her getting hurt, she was my life, my only family I really had. She meant the world to me. I walked into the kitchen to see my mom passed out on the floor, tears started to pour out of my eyes even more. I couldn't bear to look at her anymore. I was so sick and so tired of everything she had put me through I just had to get out.

I walked up to my room and grabbed a large suitcase and just started to pack clothes for myself and Kayleigh in it. After I finished I walked back over to the house I had left my daughter; the home of the Cena family.

The Cena's have always been there for me through everything. They were always there when I needed to leave my house and stay somewhere. They were more of a family then mine was. Mr. and Mrs. Cena were like my parents. I cared and loved them more than I did my real parents. For a year and a half I actually dated their older son John. I was a Sophomore and he was a Senior the year we started dating. He got a lot of crap from the other kids because he was dating a Sophomore but that didn't stop him. He was the best boyfriend I ever had, he meant a lot to me, he still means a lot to me even though I don't see him anymore, that doesn't mean I don't think about him. We ended up breaking up when he went off to college, it was a really hard time for me but I soon got through it.

I softly knocked on the door once again. Matt opened the door this time and as soon as he did I fell into his awaiting arms. Matt was my age and we got along great. He knew everything I was going through and never judged me.

I walked into the kitchen to see Mrs. Cena getting two cups with hot tea. I sat down at the kitchen tabled as she walked over and handed me a glass.

"Thank you for everything…" I started.

"Don't worry about it sweetheart it's nothing." She told me as I took a sip out the hot tea. The heat felt so good running down my throat, I was so cold.

"I just really don't know what to do anymore. I can't go back there; I can't put my little girl in danger like that." I told her rubbing my hands over my face.

"I know and that's why James (I changed Mr. Cena's name to James because I thought John and John would get too confusing) and I have decided that you two are moving in with us." My jaw dropped as she said this.

"No, you've guys have done so much for us. I can't move in with you."

"Nonsense!" she yelled. "Since John isn't here anymore you can stay in his room until you can find a place of your own. But by no circumstances are you two going back to that house with your nutcase mother." She told me. I started to cry again.

"Thank you so much…" I said giving her a hug. "You have no idea what this means to me."

"You're just like a daughter to me Alyssa and your daughter means the world to me. She's just like a grand-daughter and I'd do anything for you two."

"I don't know how I'm ever going to repay you." I told her giving her another hug.

"It's nothing, really. But you need to go take a hot shower and get into some warm clothes, it's getting late. Kayleigh is asleep on the couch so feel free to sleep in John's bed for the night." She told me. I nodded as I made my way upstairs.

After I showered and changed I walked into John's room, nothing had changed. It was still navy blue with posters of half naked girls and a small desk where he used to write all his rap lyrics down. I looked over at the picture on his nightstand; I was surprise to see what I saw. It was a picture of John and I from prom. I took the picture to examine it more closely with a smile on my face. Oh how I wish I could just go back in time when things were so much easier, when John was still here.

I laid down in his bed and wrapped the covers around my body. I let out a loud sigh, before tears started run down my cheeks. I'm so sick of crying it seems to be all I've been doing lately. I closed my eyes tightly thinking about everything before I finally drifted off to sleep.

It was three in my morning as my mother and I drove around the cold, dark city of Massachusetts. I knew exactly what she was up to; I wasn't stupid ever since I was a little girl it was all the same. She'd drive around the dark allies at least twice a week getting drugs. I knew we didn't have any money, she spent it all. My mom always steals from me, I've been working different jobs since I was thirteen just so I could make money to pay for lunch at school and things because I knew my mom didn't have any and if she did she used it to by drugs and alcohol.

She never brought me with her when she would go and get them but this time it was different. I was actually pretty scared; yeah a seventeen year old scared of her mother. She pulled over next to a dark, dirty ally and got out. She told me to wait in the car, I just nodded. I saw a tall, heavy built guy walk out in a black jacket and a hat. I watched as they talked and then I saw him give her cocaine and pot. I shut my eyes, I couldn't watch any longer. But before I knew it I heard the car door open and I was face to face with the man. I felt his arms wrap around my small frame as I screamed.

"PLEASE DON'T! I'LL DO ANYTHING! MOM PLEASE!" I screamed and cried. I tried everything to get loose. I punched, I kicked, I spit, I even bit him but nothing seemed to work. I watched as he ripped off my shirt there was nothing I could do, he was at least three times my weight and he was so much stronger. I felt a sharp pain go into my arm…

I sat up in my bed, sweat pouring down my face, my heart was racing. I shook my memories out of my head and got up to get a glass of water.

AN- Yeah, I know its short but this is all I wanted to put in the first chapter. I just wanted to introduce you guys into the character and her life so far. I'm still trying to think where I wanna go with this so feel free to leave ideas. Please review but no flames please. Thanks guys! Ooh and I want to thank Keira, who came up with my summary because I had a bad writers block on what to put. So thanks chick!