Author's Notes: This is my first ever All My Children story. I'm kinda proud of it, seeing as how I really don't watch the show anymore. It's just a drabble. Something that came to mind after watching a recent show. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from All My Children.
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She didn't like to be touched.
But that didn't stop him from wanting to touch her.
He wanted to touch her all the time. Wanted to watch her smile up at him as his hand caressed the satiny skin of her arms and shoulders, rising up to the supple flesh of her neck. He could just imagine the red tinted heat rising in her cheeks and his mouth went dry.
Jonathan Lavery tossed and turned in his bed once more, kicking the sheet off his legs with his feet. The cool breeze that blew through the open window across his boxer-clad frame did nothing to cool him. His body felt a thousand degrees hotter as the image of touching his former wife played before his closed eyes.
He could see her so clearly. Standing before him, eyes wide and full of innocent wonder as she touched him too.
"Lily," he whispered into the night air as her hand landed on his cheek in the dream.
Her delicate fingers felt like heaven against his unshaven skin and it's all he can do to not grab her and pull her against him in a passionate embrace.
Part of him wants this. Has wanted this since he became himself again and couldn't stay married to the innocent angel that is Lily Montgomery. Part of him wants nothing more than to show her how wonderful touching can be. How… sensual it can be. But the parts of him that remember how young she is and how innocent she is won't let him. He would never forgive anyone for harming Lily or making the bright light in her cerulean orbs fade - even himself.
He grabs her hands and drags them away from his face before she can complete the kiss she's leaned in for. "Lily, you don't like to be touched," he reminds her. To say he's surprised is an understatement. To say that he is inwardly kicking himself for deny him the chance of kissing his beloved is a vast understatement.
He stepped back, putting much need space between them, but couldn't bring himself to drop her hands.
She looked up at him with those innocent blue eyes shining brightly, and for a split second he thought her to be Ava Benton, Lily's older half-sister… and look alike. Ava was everything Lily wasn't. Crude, brash and irrational… among other things. And Ava did like to be touched - a lot.
But this wasn't Ava. This was Lily. As good an actress as Ava is, even she couldn't pull off the innocence and purity conveyed only by Lily.
"It's okay," she assured him. And to prove her point she took a step towards him. "Ava taught me how."
The thought of Ava teaching his Lily anything left a bad taste in his mouth. The images of Ava and Lily mixed together in his mind creating an all too powerful allusion. Lily - the sweet, innocent angel he was in love with - and Ava - the vulgar, crude she-devil who, by some cruel twist of fate, shared the face of his beloved.
"Jonathan," Lily called. "It's okay. We can be together now."
Her blue eyes held a hope he was too jaded to fall for. There was no way they could be together… even if she wasn't afraid to touch anymore. Her father, his brother, the world - hell, no one would let them be together. And part of him knew that was the way it should be.
But part of him wanted nothing more than to be with her. To once again find in her what he could never find in, or with, anyone else: happiness. To be the sweet simple Jonathan she loved, her companion and friend instead of the complicated, dangerous villain he was.
She smiled up at him with a happy smile and he let her hands go. Stepping closer to him, she touched his face like before. Softly, gingerly - as if giving him time to adjust to the contact. Jonathan's hands remained tightly clenched at his sides, but the blood pulsing through his veins roared louder than any voices of warning.
Sensing his hesitance, Lily grabbed his hand and placed it on her cheek. Jonathan recoiled for just a moment before her insistence won out and he caressed her face as she was caressing his.
Looking into her eyes, he saw everything he'd ever wanted.
Happiness, love, trust, understanding, compassion and forgiveness.
By whatever cosmic design he was granted this angel… he would always be thankful.
Just like he would always be thankful for his dream.
The possibility of touching his darling Lily.