A/N : Excuse is as follows : I've moved to a new continent (!) and have visited seven countries in the past 4 months. Still in school, working, dealing with complications in my love life... So please don't hate me. This is the first time I've had a free weekend since August :)
Harry closed the door to his bedroom and sat on his bed with a sulk.
It wasn't that he was angry with Remus. He had every right to express his concerns about Harry's personal life and happiness – he always had. But he was frustrated. Frustrated because Remus had managed to bring up the points that Harry was worried about. Having the ever logical man express the same concerns made them more real. They were legitimate, all of a sudden.
He threw his pillow against the wall and it made a loud thud. He hoped Ron wasn't at home, or he'd be getting a confused visit.
What if Remus was right? What if Draco wasn't ready for the kind of relationship he wanted. Harry wasn't one to enter relationships lightly.
Well, he considered, that wasn't altogether accurate. He'd had a couple flings after Hogwarts that had amounted to nothing, and that had been fine. Even the one night stands hadn't been a problem. But it was different with Draco and it always had been.
He was his first real love, and he'd been his best friend for as long as he could remember. That wasn't something he could, or would, throw away for the sake of a fuck.
But, as he had convinced himself before, Draco must have understood that. He would have known better than to seduce Harry for something he wasn't sure of. For something that wasn't serious. He was sure the blonde valued their friendship more than that.
Draco had even told him that he had feelings for him. He wouldn't have said so if it weren't true. Especially given the horribly awkward nature of the conversation.
It was with this certainty that Harry stood from his bed and opened his bedroom door.
"Ron?" he hollered into the seemingly empty flat. No answer.
He grabbed a scrap of paper and penned a note.
Gone for the night. See you tomorrow.
Good. Succinct and no mention of Draco. Not that Ron wouldn't make the assumption anyway. He'd need to have that conversation with his friend in the eventual future, but probably better to give the relationship a go first.
Plus, he really didn't want to see the smug, knowing look on Ron's face when he found out he had been right. Yes, that could definitely wait.
He dropped the note to the kitchen table, ran a hand through his hair once, and apparated to Draco's flat.
They did so often, without bothering to call ahead to make sure the other was home, so it came as no great shock to find another empty apartment waiting for him.
Not one to be easily deterred, he grabbed a butterbeer from the fridge and a book from the shelf. He settled into the couch and prepared for a wait.
Over the next several minutes, he began to reconsider his decision to come. They had said they'd see each other today, but what if Draco had forgotten? What if he came home with a date? Or worse. Blaise.
But no, that was ridiculous. A date? At three o'clock in the afternoon? Even Draco couldn't pull in the middle of the afternoon. And he wouldn't – not the day after kissing Harry, of that, he was sure.
As for Blaise... That was still a niggling worry in the back of Harry's mind. As often as Draco told him it was over between them, Blaise still had a history of showing up without warning and being welcomed with open arms.
No. The worrying was ridiculous and wasn't going to solve anything. He just wanted to see Draco, spend some time with him, and maybe...
Frustrated with his own train of thought, Harry snapped the book shut.
He'd left the note for Ron with the intention of staying over at Draco's, but he wasn't going to force it. First things first, he wanted to have a quick chat. Nothing deep or soul searching, just a reassurance that what they were doing wasn't idiotic. That Remus hadn't been right about absolutely everything.
He took a gulp of butterbeer and reopened the book with newfound determination.
Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long. It wasn't half an hour later that Draco strolled in holding several grocery bags and threw his keys on the counter.
"Hey," Harry said, putting the book to one side and standing up.
Draco turned to look at him with a smile.
"Hello. You feel like helping with dinner?"
"Always. What's on the menu?"
The bags were spilling out onto the counter and there seemed to be enough food to feed the Weasleys over Christmas.
"I went a little crazy. Haven't eaten yet today and I probably should've before I went shopping..." Draco trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck and staring at the mounds of food as though he'd never seen it before, let alone paid for it all.
Harry laughed and began to sort through the bags.
"Alright well, chicken, beans, ground beef, cauliflower..."
"There's no way I'm going to eat all this before it goes bad," Draco said as Harry pulled salmon and pork from the bags.
Harry scoffed. "Please. We're growing men. We'll get through it. We might not have time for much else, but we'll eat it."
They finally decided on salmon teriyaki with steamed green beans and went to work. It wasn't a very demanding dish and they were finished in no time.
"So," Draco said as he dug into the beans, "Feel like going out tonight?"
Harry shrugged. "I'd rather stay in actually. I've been going out a lot recently. I think some quiet time would be good."
A smile spread across Draco's lips before he could stop it.
"Sounds good. We should rent a movie or something, and make some more food."
They were cuddled under the blanket watching some movie from the 40s that Harry was, frankly, not enjoying.
He was sure it was a classic that deserved international recognition and awards and everything but... It was the same old situation with him. Draco was too close and producing too much warmth for him to realistically expect any kind of concentration out of Harry.
"Draco," Harry started, without having a follow up.
After a silence, Draco looked over – a feat, given how closely they were pressed.
"Are you serious?"
A crease appeared between Draco's brows. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, are you serious about us? Do you actually think it's a good idea."
It was much easier to discuss this, Harry reflected, when he already knew his feelings were reciprocated. When he didn't have to worry about rejection.
Draco sighed as he looked back to the television. He didn't say anything for a long moment, but his eyes were moving out of sync with the events on the screen as though he were thinking very hard.
"I wouldn't have done anything if I weren't serious, Harry. I mean, for Merlin's sake, I didn't do anything for years because I wasn't sure how you felt."
"And because we were both with other people," Harry reminded him with a raised eyebrow.
Draco waved the comment away. "Detail.
Harry snorted. "Not a detail. You wouldn't have left Blaise for me." He hadn't quite meant to make the comment, but there was no taking it back. It was a thought that had skimmed his mind occasionally in the past several years. During his not-altogether-sober moments, usually. But he had wanted to have a calm and coherent conversation. He wasn't sure this was the best way to go about it.
He turned to see Draco shaking his head, with a sad smile. He was looking down at his own hands, which were twisting around the remote. The movie still played in the background.
"I would have. I would have, in an instant, if I had known you wanted me."
Harry said nothing.
"You were a big issue between us, did you know that? He knew how I felt about you and didn't... really like it." Draco's smile grew a little, but his eyes told a different story. "I feel bad for hurting him. I think I was using him a bit, trying to make it work when it obviously wouldn't, because of you."
Harry had known that he was an obstacle in their relationship, because of Blaise's habit of telling him so, but he'd never heard Draco's side of it. He would have left Blaise for him? Could that be true?
"So why now? What changed?"
Draco laughed. "Well there's the obvious dropping of Sophie. The fact that you became achievable for the first time in years. Not that I ever expected..." He shook his head. "I guess I just felt too guilty with Blaise. Once I knew you and Sophie weren't getting on so well, I started thinking about you more often, and I couldn't do that to Blaise. He'd get so upset whenever we broke up. Especially if he thought it was because of you." Draco sighed. "So we broke up once and for all. It gave us both peace of mind, I think. It's easier to hang out as friends without worrying about what the other is up to."
Harry swallowed. He, too, felt bad for Blaise. To always be the one Draco settled for would be a terrible feeling.
"So you're really finished. And I don't have to be jealous when you go out clubbing?" Harry smiled, not altogether kidding.
He smiled back. "You'll be coming with me to the clubs from now on, love," he flicked a strand of hair from Harry's face. "Now that I'm allowed to dance with you the way I like, don't think I'll give that up so easily."
"I wouldn't want you to."
They leaned in the few inches that separated them and kissed gently. There was an undertone of urgency, but they both kept it light. When they broke apart, Harry cuddled even deeper into Draco's arm, nuzzling his face into the blonde's neck.
As far as Harry was concerned, Draco could continue to watch the movie, but he had other things on his mind. Like the overwhelmingly male and fresh scent of his boyfriend.
He tried to be discreet about the fact that he was essentially sniffing the other man, and thought he did a good job of it.
Eventually, instinct won over social propriety and he started alternately sucking, biting and licking his neck. It smelled far too good to contemplate doing otherwise. Draco exhaled one long breath and shifted, but continued to watch the screen.
Harry shifted in response, throwing one leg between Draco's, and turning in a proper straddle. Far easier access from that angle. He felt arms support his back as he leaned forward to continue his ministrations.
He relocated to the dip just above his collarbone. He'd always been attracted to collarbones for some reason. It gave people an air of fragility. And Draco's had always caught his attention.
Draco shivered as he ran his hand down his neck and along his other collarbone. The man put a firm hand on his back to anchor him, and he dragged Harry's leg over, so that he was straddling both of Draco's legs, rather than just one.
Harry stopped and looked down at his boyfriend. He was reminded of one evening they had spent – was it an evening, or just a romp between classes? – in the room of requirements back in their Hogwarts years. He couldn't believe his luck. All that time ago, and he was able to enjoy his friend again.
He smiled and tugged off his shirt.
When he looked back to Draco, he was staring at him with a strange, though not bad, expression.
"Just thinking how proud my seventeen year old self would be of me right now," he replied with a chuckle.
Harry leaned down to kiss him. "I was just thinking the same thing."
He stayed the night as planned and, true to their promise, their trousers stayed on.