Based upon a challenged given to me by a close friend, the following story is submitted for your pleasure. Theme: Drunkeness + Kindred. 2,000 words max including the title. That's it. That's all I had to work with.

Campy goodness at its best! Marie... at her not so best. And many thanks to ElenaC for allowing me to use her idea about the drink. You're the best.

Disclaimer: I only own Marie, no one else. I'm just having fun with the Kindred characters, bending them to my own evil will. No permanent damage to them. They're pretty flexible and forgiving. No money gained. Boo hoo. Oh, make sure you read "Brujah For Dinner" FIRST before you hit this funny little caper! Otherwise you'll be a bit lost.


The Shocking Mystery of Grape Soda Pop Revealed

Daedalus, San Francisco's most revered and feared slayer of evil doers finds that on this particular warm summer May evening he has a sudden case of boredom. No one needed killing. His Clanmates had no grievances. His Prince was safely ensconced within his fortress-like mansion only a few steps above him. The city was peaceful.

And he was absolutely, positively bored as hell.

Heaving a martyred sigh from between his pale lips the genteel Nosferatu stood from his creaky old crate he used as a chair and put his foot on the first step leading upward. The past few weeks had been relatively peaceful after Julian's youngest Childe had finally settled down. Marie had been a hellion after her Embrace. The Clans were still reeling from the fact that she had single-handedly decapitated a Garou and then proudly waltzed into a Conclave to announce to her Sire that she wanted the skull bronzed.

Marie's exuberance was difficult to endure most nights. But it was what got him through lonely nights such as this. And from the scene which greeted him inside the house, it was that same exuberance which was likely to get her killed.

The Prince had his hands full. The young Ventrue was as limp as a rag doll and laughing like she wasn't likely to stop any time soon. Daedalus moved forward and tossed Julian's youngest Childe over his shoulder before following Julian up the stairs to the second floor. As he did, the Ventrue related to him just how his daughter had been found in her current happy state: naked in the park. And not just naked- frolicking in the dirt naked. Rolling in the mud naked. Laughing the same diabolical laugh which she still was. He had to spray her down with a water hose just to get her clean enough to ride in the car.

As Daedalus dumped her onto the bed she and her Sire shared, Julian touched his arm and walked out of the room, intending him to follow. Once the door was locked the Prince turned to his closest confidant with anger glazed eyes and literally hissed, "What the bloody hell is wrong with her?! She was blathering something about 'pop' and 'tasting something' and then she got hysterical."

The Nosferatu raised one pale eyebrow in a peak, frowning. "She said pop?"

"Yes. Precisely. And she's not Fed from someone on drugs, I can tell that much. So what gives?"

The elder man thoughtfully scratched at his neck with one talon and put his hand back on the door handle. "I'll need to taste her blood before relating what my suspicions are, my Prince."

"Of course, you have my permission to." His daughter's blood belonging to him in law as well as genealogically, Daedalus' request had merit. Taking her blood without asking would be the same as pillaging the Prince's bank accounts.

Marie lay languidly on the soft comforter, giggling to herself. Restraint wasn't needed. After only a nip and lick of the youngster's vitae, the Nosferatu dropped her wrist and snorted in humor. "She's drunk, Julian. Disgustingly drunk."

"How?!" Julian sputtered.

"Soda pop."

The Prince's eyes widened. Looking at his grinning Childe, his eyes narrowed into a glare. "I don't understand."

"She drank soda pop, my Prince. Not through a Kine's blood. Straight. Ergo, she is drunk as a skunk. It'll wear off in a few hours. Unless she consumed so much of it that it will take days to filter through her Kindred system. Then we will certainly have a problem on our hands."

"I still don't understand, old man. She's inebriated from a carbonated drink? Not alcohol?"

"Correct."

"Why have I never heard of this happening," Julian asked accusingly.

Daedalus pursed his lips for a moment, thinking of a simple way to explain and yet not offend his dearest friend. Honesty. Just go for simple honesty. "Because you are Ventrue."

"And that means what exactly?"

"It means that it's not a common practice among your breed to consume or look for beverages in which to become inebriated. You value control and precision too much. Whereas those of my breed are connoisseurs of such things. A few decades ago when the drinks became available one of the younger Nosferatu was curious about human food and beverages and tried it. Since then, my clanmates have been..." Daedalus paused, searching.

"Winos?" Julian offered.

A grunt from the older man implied disgust. "No. Just recreational drinkers. It is behavior which is frowned upon unless others are present to moderate the drinker's behavior."

Marie clutched at her Sire's arm, attempting to pull him down into an embrace. "Great. So what do we do with her in the meantime?"

"There is no way to tell how much she has consumed. At this point she is incoherent. We have no choice. We have to bleed her."

Both men cringed at the implications. Kindred who were on the receiving end of getting poked with sharp things which led directly to massive blood loss were not very polite with those who were doing to poking, slicing, dicing, or chewing. Marie was going to become enraged and probably Frenzy.

Five minutes later though, Julian placed three IV bags of fresh Type O in the bathroom sink, ready for battle. Daedalus hefted the drunken female into the bathtub and then immediately reached behind for Julian to hand him a length of chain.

Loops of thick chain wrapped around her ankles and her wrists were then bound together so that she was essentially hog tied. Recognition concerning her whereabouts finally registered and Marie attempted to give a growl to her captors but failed. Her head flopped back down on the cold porcelain with a thunk. Instead, she gave a half-hearted hiss and barely showed her teeth.

Daedalus wasn't fooled. "Here we go," He reached down and pricked both of her wrists at the radial pulse. The blood flowed red through her fingers and into the tub after soaking through her clothes. Fifteen seconds later Marie's eyes took on a feral shine, meaning Frenzy was close upon her. Daedalus turned on the water in the tub and rinsed her wrists off. Yes, just as he suspected. She had healed the wounds out of spite.

Slashing at her wrists deeper than before, this time Marie bucked against him and kicked as hard as she could. Her right foot made contact with the Nosferatu's cheekbone and he went flying.

Her Sire moved forward and immediately imprisoned her against the floor of the tub, his hand wrapped around the front of her throat. When she struggled to kick at him, he lifted her up a few inches and slammed her head back down into the tub. Kindred had very thick skulls so his worries were minimal about truly hurting her. She yelped and then let out a growl that vibrated against his fingers. Nostrils flared at the scent of blood all around her, Marie felt the Beast rise to the surface of her psyche.

Someone touched her wrists again and Marie gave one last fight. She broke Daedalus' nose with her knee. His howls of pain made her choke on laughter. Her Sire's angry face took on a scarlet hue as he squeezed her neck even harder. Thirty more seconds of struggle and she was passed out in the tub.

The injured Nosferatu held a bloody hand to his face as he tossed one of the IV bags into the tub in front of Julian.

The Ventrue carefully licked at his Childe's wrists, forcing the veins to heal before he began to feed her. Squeezing her jaws open with one hand, he deftly pierced the bag of blood with a claw and then set the bag against her lips. Massaging her throat, he bid her to wake using their inherent bond.

Groggily, she finished the first bag. And then the second.

When Daedalus maliciously turned the shower on her full force, she sat up and whimpered at the frigid water against her sensitive skin.


The following evening when she woke, the previously tipsy Marie opened her eyes to find her Sire's own staring back at her. Beautiful though he was, when he had this particular gleam in his eyes it was wise to shut one's mouth and merely listen.

"I have been trying to think of a suitable punishment for your behavior the past few hours. And after much deliberation, I find that I cannot. The only thing in your favor at this moment is the fact that you stumbled across something which I could not have prepared you for nor warned you away from; therefore it is not entirely your fault or mine."

Marie sighed in relief.

"However."

The space between her eyebrows furrowed in anticipated pain.

"You did cause bodily harm to a respected Primogen. Because of that I have decided that you shall compensate him for his pain and blood loss. For one week you will help him go about his duties as this city's Enforcer. You bleed where he normally would. I think it's a fair trade, don't you?"

Marie chose not to reply to that barbed rhetorical question and instead she pressed her lips together and squeezed her eyes shut. Grape soda, for Caine's sake. Three fucking cans of grape soda and now she was bound to Daedalus for a solid week of servitude.

"Do you have anything to say, my Childe," Julian asked with hidden mirth. He felt her emotions as they stampeded through her skull. He knew she'd made a deal with the Nosferatu Primogen to hide some previous bad behavior of hers. And he knew how much her silence cost her now. Better she learn how to take care of herself behind my back than force me to kill her. Self reliance was one of the most important lessons a Prince's Childe learned.

"Nope. Not a thing," she said firmly before she put her pillow over her face and sighed.

Julian grinned and left his anxious daughter behind, secure in the knowledge that for the next week Marie would be in good hands. Albeit firm hands. But trusted hands nonetheless. Daedalus had never had Embraced anyone and lived vicariously through Julian's ups and downs with his own Brood. He even watched over his Childer like they were his own.

Those two fought like cats and dogs from the moment she laid eyes on him. Julian's one concern was that one day his Childe would push Daedalus too far and cause him to do something even more harmful than hit her. He could lock her out.

Even with the respect she had earned by taking care of the recent Garou incursion, Daedalus still demanded the most strict decorum from her. Even with her lessons ending and her Release official, he still held her at arm's length.

The Prince knew that this would be the one way the old man could hurt her the worst, because underneath all the arrogant teasing and swaggering she did around him, she was still just an incorrigible whelp. Loyal to a fault. Open minded. Young. Conniving. Manipulative. Playful. She was just a young thing trying to find her place within her new Kindred life.

So why did that worry Julian so much?


Two Kindred crept silently into the city morgue, unseen. The area clear of any human witnesses, the Nosferatu dropped the hand of the Ventrue at his side. They both became visible when he dropped his Obfuscate.

"So who's corpse are we here to collect, my dear Enforcer?"

"It's not a corpse. Entrails. Guts, eyes, brain, that kind of thing. They should be around here somewhere..." The bald man scurried around and poked in the jars and bags among the boxes of refrigerators marked Evidence.

Marie rolled her eyes. "God you have a disgusting job."

"So playing patty cake with Garou is more to your liking," The Nosferatu asked.

She glared at him.