Emmett walked in with a white tee shirt and ripped pants. He was nearly bouncing, until he saw the million people in the same room. His eyes swiftly looked at the camera men, then back to the people. The people were his family, and some co workers. What was going on?
"Take a seat, Emmett." said a man that looked like a hawk. He wore thick rimmed glasses and had puny little eyes. He looked tall and skinny, and impossible to talk to. He had a clip board in one hand and a pen that had his name on it in the other.
Emmett looked at the chair he was pointing to, then to his family. Esme was dry sobbing into Carlisle's chest and his brothers wouldn't look at him. Bella, Rosalie, and Alice all shook they're heads. His co workers kept on sighing. What in the world is going on? What did Jasper do to everyone's emotions?!
Emmett took a seat across from Rosalie and looked at everyone in the eyes. None looked back, except for bird man.
Bird man leaned up in his chair and looked Emmett straight in the eyes, "Emmett Cullen, I believe?" he asked already knowing the answer.
Emmett looked at him confused, "Umm…yeah?" his eyes shifted to everyone.
He sighed and peeled his glasses off, "Do you KNOW why your in the room?" he asked, totally serious.
Emmett looked at everyone's face again, then the camera. Suddenly he smiled the biggest smile in history, "Yes I do! I'm being Punk'd! Oh my god this is great! Were is Ashton!" he said turning around in his chair, "ASHTON! OH ASHTON KUTCHER!" she yelled.
"Stop it Emmett, this isn't Punk'd." Rosalie said very seriously.
Emmett laughed and sat back down, "Then what is this? Intervention? Hah!" he snorted.
Everyone looked back and forth from each other. Esme leaned up and placed her hand over mine, "Sweetie, this IS intervention." she said softly.
Emmett raised an eyebrow, "Umm…I was just joking. I didn't really mean it." he said confused.
"Emmett you're here because you are addicted." the bird man said flipping through pages of non sense.
Emmett looked at bird man, "Addicted to what? I have no addiction! What the crap!" he suddenly stopped and his face fell, "Oh my god," he looked at the bird man, "This is the part were you murder me, isn't it?"
Bella stifled a laugh and looked at her fingers that were intertwined with Edward.
Emmett stood up, "I'M NOT GAY! DON'T TAKE ME! I'M TO SEXY TO DIE!" he screamed.
A camera man started to chuckle till bird man shot him a look. He stopped.
"No Emmett, we're not here for that." he simply said.
Emmett sat down, keeping his eyes on Rosalie, "Okay then, is it my addiction to…sorry Rose…my addiction to seeing my wife in a bathing suite?" he asked.
The camera man laughed again, very hard. Rosalie looked like she was going to blush, and Emmett sat there curious at what the heck was going on. He was stuck in a small room with nothing but chair and his family and not so very good friends. He received a call saying that if he showed up here he would win unlimited Twinkies. Pssh, yeah right. The closest thing to a Twinkie was fatso behind him.
Bird man sighed, "No Emmett…your addiction," he paused and looked at his family, then back, "Your addiction to…the blinky thing."
Emmett sucked in a deep breath. How did they know, "I don't know what your talking about." he said crossing his arms.
"Oh don't play that game with us Emmett. You sit there day by day useless because of that…that darn blinky thing!" Jasper said finally looking at him.
narrowed his eyes at him, "Don't make me get that picture of you
kissing that girl you were supposable doing CPR on!" he threatened.
Jasper backed down and Emmett snapped his fingers in the Z formation,
"Ummm Hmm, that's right honey!" he said.
"Emmett, your family is just doing what's best for you." the bird man said after his episode.
Emmett looked at him, "I don't understand." he said.
Bird man sighed, "Understand what?" he asked.
Emmett laughed, "Why you cross your legs like a girl!" he busted out laughing and nearly made the chair fall over.
Bird man's face turned red. So he was a cardinal? MWHAHAHAHA!
"Emmett why do you take this as a joke? It's no laughing matter." he said.
Emmett rolled his eyes, "You guys are seriously messed up. Don't you think I watch Intervention? Besides, I don't have anything wrong with me." he said grabbing a hand full of cashews next to him and ate them. Then realized he wasn't suppose to eat them. The Cullen's looked at him oddly, so did Emmett.
"Emmett your addicted to the blinky thingy!" Bird man said getting angry.
Emmett rolled his eyes, "So I get amused easily, no big deal. If you want to get somebody with an addiction around here you should get Edward," he said pointing to him, Edward's face paled, "He's obsessed with her." he pointed to Bella.
Bird man shook his head, "Its not the same." Edward sighed.
"Yes it is! He's like a stocker! He watches her sleep!" Emmett blurted out with a mouth full of wasted cashews, pointing at him.
Edward sunk down in his chair and hid his face. Bella could have sworn she heard him say something like "that's not all".
Bird man looked at Edward, then Emmett, "Well, unlike him, we got a call. They are concerned and even sent me videos. Now we can take this easy or we can take this hard. Your choice." he said slapping his hand on the clipboard.
Emmett flexed his muscles, "I like it hard." he said.
Everyone growled and watched as bird man pulled out a tape. He popped it in the VCR and it played on the very tiny TV. He pressed play and the video did just that.
Emmett was sitting on a couch rubbing the blinky thing while Rosalie and Alice were fist fighting. Then it flashed another image of Emmett and the blinky thing while Carlisle dumped him on the beach. Everyone stared at him and his sparkly self when suddenly they screamed and ran. There was another thing were he was sitting on a bench with the blinky thing and a hot girl asked him out. He didn't say anything, instead he stroked the blinky thing. And then another of a piece of toast smacking him across the face, due to Jasper, but Emmett didn't do anything. He just stroked the blinky thing. There was even one of a celebrity asking him if he was single and he didn't respond. This was too much..
"STOP! TAKE IT OUT! TAKE IT OUT!" Emmett screamed shielding his eyes.
The bird man pulled the VCR out and shook it in his hands, "Now you see. You are affected a rare disease, obsessive over amusing things disorder." bird man said shaking his head.
Esme then wailed into Carlisle's chest with fake tears. The employee stared at him and shook his head while mouthing, 'How could you?'
Emmett swallowed the cashews, hard, and looked at Bella. She held a strong face, but could never be the same.
The bird man sighed, "Your family and friends have all come together to tell you something." He looked at Jasper, and nodded.
Jasper nodded back, then stood up, a piece of paper in his hands, "Emmett," he read, "We have been with each other for some time now, and every day it was something special. Playing Halo with you till six in the morning was the highlight of it all. We were so close, and never departed. I will never forget the day when we…" he paused and looked around the room. Alice crossed her arms and sent him a look to proceed with caution. Jasper cleared his throat then started again, "Fun times fun times, anyway, I want you to know that I want this insanity to stop right now. Because of that stupid…blinky thing our quality time has shrunken to a dangerous low. Please, for the sake of…" he paused again and looked around the room, Alice was fixing to blow, "for the sake of…of Rosalie! Yeah, for her, please take up this offer and stop the madness. DIE BLINKY THING DIE!" he suddenly shouted, ripping the paper. Alice still held the same expression, but an employee was inching toward the door.
He smiled, "That is all I have to say." he skipped to his chair and sat down next to Alice, slowly.
Bird man blinked then looked at Alice, "That was…fascinating…Alice?"
Alice took in a sharp breath, then jumped up into the middle of the room with a sheet of paper. She faced Emmett and opened her mouth, "Emmett ever since you brought sexy back I knew that you were my girl," everyone looked at each other with confused, "I will never forget when we first saw each other and you said…'Hey there Delilah'. Maybe that the way you lived, maybe your lip gloss was poppin, but whatever it is, it was my great escape. So whatever this blinky thing has done to you…please take the chance we give you, then we can see how far we've come. No misery business…because Emmett, when darkness turns to light, it ends tonight. So call me when your sober… as I would like to rephrase my friend…PEACE OUT!" she said punching her chest twice then held out two fingers. In the blink of an eye she was back in her chair.
Suddenly Emmett started clapping and wiped imaginary tears from his eyes, "That was AWESOME Alice!" he told her.
She stood up, took a bow, then sat back down. The bird man narrowed his eyes at Emmett, "You DO know that that speech was for you, right?" he said.
Emmett raised an eyebrow, "Seriously?"
Everyone growled and slapped there forehead as if saying all hope was gone.
The bird man sighed, "Yes, and so was the speech Jasper gave you."
Emmett looked confused, "Jasper read a speech to me?" he asked.
Rosalie growled, "You TOTALLY ruined the moment!" she said gritting her teeth.
Emmett jumped back, "Did you read a speech to me Rosalie?" he asked now curious…and amused.
She snatched a piece of paper that was beside her and stood up, flipping her hair. A camera man was drooling, "To my brain dead husband whom I love so much. Not only have I been married to you for over 4832078439790 years, but I still have the same feelings. You amuse me at one point but totally embarrass me at others. Sometimes I want to get Edward's chain saw that he hid from Esme and totally do damage to your stone body," Esme sent daggers at Edward, he looked away, "But other times I can at least hug you. But at times like these when your pointless to do either, I want to rip my hair out for fun," Emmett flinched from the thought, "So would you PLEASE take this stupid thingy to cure you so I wont go bald?" she huffed, crumbled up the paper, and sat back down, crossing her legs and arms and bouncing her foot.
The bird man started laughing, "Very touching Rosalie…Edward? Anything you have to say?" he asked leaning over to look at Edward.
Edward shrugged, stood up with his hands in his pocket and said, "Emmett…just go." then sat back down and placed his arms around Bella's shoulder. She chuckled underneath his arm.
"Couldn't have said it better than myself, Carlisle?" the bird man said lying through his teeth.
Carlisle grabbed Esme and they stood up with no papers, "Son," they said looking at Emmett, "we don't need to say anything…because Alice already told us the ending of this…so…yeah." they sat back down and had shifty eyes. Wow…very powerful speech Carly.
The bird man through his clip board down, "People! Your son/brother is insane! Why don't you make a better speech to motivate him?! Huh!?" he said standing up with a vein popping out.
Emmett said in small voice, "Someone's a little cranky."
The bird man looked at him with rage filled eyes, "I'm cranky? I'M CRANKY?! You insane people don't know what you talking about! I rule this place, I deserve a better raise! I have a prostitute waiting at my apartment right now! And I have wasted my time to be with her, to help your mental child! Now, either he goes and gets help. Or not. Either way, I'm going back to my apartment in exactly three minutes! Now move it people!" he screamed to the top of his lungs.
Behind the scenes with Emmett
"Yeah I was really worried about him at that point. His face was all red and I thought I was going to have to pull out my kung fu moves. But anyhow, after they took him off the set I could actually breath. Though the man never returned to his apartment and was placed in GreenFields Institute for the Angered, he seemed happy. Or at least he said he would come back to see me, but what I thought was strange is how he said it. It was like, 'This isn't our last meeting Cullen! I will find you one day! We will meet again!'…so yeah, he seemed to take this well."
Behind the scenes with Esme
"I really thought that Alice was just kidding when she said that the bird looking guy was going to be dragged off of the set. Poor fellow, he seemed…odd. But to admit that he had a prostitute at his apartment? Oh the humanity! But did I say anything? No, I kept my mouth shut."
Behind the scenes with Alice
"I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU ALL! BUT NOOOO! ALICE IS JUST A STUPID LITTLE VAMPIRE WITH GREAT FASHION AND A SEXY HUSBAND! YOU WILL SEE! YOU WILL ALL SEE!" she stand on her chair, "I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!" Jasper carries her off set.
Behind the scenes with Edward and Bella
"yeah…I knew they would never get Emmett to go. He's so stupid." Edward said.
Bella slaps his arm, "Edward!" she says.
"Am I wrong? Honestly Bella…what would they think at the institute? A man walking in to get therapy for a blinky thing?" he said ticking off things.
Bella was silent, "Okay…maybe your right."
Behind the scenes with Carlisle
"Ummm…this was a very strange experience. I never thought that Intervention could cause so many bloody noses. But the worst was when Esme went off on bird man…such a foul mouth. She claims that Emmett taught her…but after I threatened him with Dramamine, he seemed to say it wasn't his fault."
Behind the scenes with Jasper
Well, that's all for today. I'm off to watch Dracula 2000.