"With Out You"
A Kyou and Kagura one shot
18 year old Kagura starred up at the sky. The night was so beautiful. It wasn't too hot nor was it too cool. A soft breeze brushed through Kagura's body tickling her skin and making her chocolate brown hair flow wildly behind her. She was sitting by her self in front of a café waiting for her boyfriend. 15 minutes had passed from the time that he was suppose to be there. She didn't worry too much though, but when the minutes turn to an hour, that's when she began to worry. He hadn't even called! Just as she pulled out her cell phone to call him, she noticed a familiar orange haired boy running towards her. She breathed a sigh of relief, glad to see that he was ok. When he finally reached her, he was breathing heavily as he hunched forward, resting his hands on the table as he tried to catch his breath. Seeing that he was trying to catch his breath, she kept her emotions at bay…for only a short time though. After about a couple of minutes, his breathing had return to normal. He sighed deeply as he looked down at the chocolate haired, gray eyes girl. She looked up and into his reddish brown eyes. They stayed like that for a moment neither one of them saying a word. Just as he was about to say something, Kagura released what she was holding back.
"KYOU-KUN!" She shouted in anger, as she pulled back her fist. Kyou's eyes widen slightly. Why the heck couldn't he call her? He knew this was going to happen! BAM! Kagura landed a hard right hook onto his shoulder, causing him to stumble back slightly. A few other people around the couple turned to see what the commotion was all about. A blush of embarrassment came across Kyou's face.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL? I WAS SO WORRIED…I WAITED HERE FOR OVER AN HOUR!..." She continued to rant. Kyou could see that unless he got her away from the area, a crowd would end up surrounding them. He wasn't really interested in that kind of attention. She continued to rant on and on as he grabbed her hand and dragged her away from the café. By this time, Kagura had quieted down and Kyou was mentally jumping up and down for the silence. They were now a few blocks away from the café. Kagura then stopped dead in her tracks causing Kyou to stop too. Much to his surprise, she yanked her hand away from him. He turned around to see that she had a really peeved look on her face, with her arms crossed under her chest. He swallowed hard. He was in the wrong to be honest. He had called her to tell her to meet him at the café and that he would be there in 15 minutes. It turned out that it took him an hour and 15 minutes to arrive. He didn't even bother to pick up the phone and call her…even though he had a cell phone.
"I'm…I'm sorry." He said in a low voice as he looked down, his bangs mysteriously covering part of his face. "I got caught up in something else." He simply said…as if that would answer all of her questions.
Her eyes narrowed as she continued to have her arms crossed. She could accept the apology, but she wasn't going to buy that simple answer. She wanted more explanations. "What kinda something?" She demanded. "Please tell me what was sooo important that you had me sitting there for over an hour worried sick about you?"
"I don't have to tell you everything, you aren't my mother!" Kyou suddenly snapped without thinking. Kagura's eyes widen in shock at what he said.
With her lips pursed together she pouted as an angry scowl came across her face. "How dare you say that!" She cried out. "I have every right to want to know what happened! It's not like this is the first time you've done this to me…how insensitive can you be?!"
"Insensitive?!" Kyou shot back. "You're talking to me about being insensitive? What just happened back there?" He asked as he pointed down the street from which they came. "You're the one who couldn't hold back her anger and had to make a scene out on the street. You can't even wait until we're alone. No…Kagura has to be a drama queen and get other peoples attention which always causes me to be embarrassed." He said in a mocking tone.
Kagura almost felt as if he had just punched her hard in the stomach. Her jaw dropped and her eyes widen. Is that what he really thought of her? Sure they had there fights as they were having right now. But never, ever did he utter any words that he previously had. Her eyebrows frowned together as she could feel stings in her eyes. Her lips formed into a pout as they began to quiver. No! Don't you dare cry in front of him!She scolded herself. She shook her head as if to shake away what ever tears threaten to come out. She looked back up to Kyou who by now was looking away from her with his arms crossed over his chest.
"What is happening with us? I…I thought we loved each other. T…this isn't love." She whispered mostly to herself, but loud enough for Kyou to her her.
"Maybe …we grew apart." He replied in a cool tone which in turn had send a shiver down her spine.
"I don't want to be apart from you." Kagura whispered as she swallowed back a sob. For two years they had been together. They went through so much and yet they were still together. Surely a little fight like this...couldn't be…the breaking point, could it?
"I'm tired Kagura." Kyou finally whispered in an exhausted voice as he turned to look her, the look on his face matching the tone in his voice.
Gray eyes glisten over as they looked up at her fist love. Since when have they crossed this point. The point of no return. It was bad feeling that she had…deep inside….even while she was waiting for him, that their relationship was hanging by a thread. When he had called her, she picked up something different in the tone of his voice. In short, she knew where this conversation was leading and she knew that nothing she said or did would prevent it from happening. However, that didn't stop her from trying.
"Kyou-kun…every…everyone has troubles in their relationships. Some more then others. So…it could be worked out…what ever it is. I…I promise you that…that I will work hard to…make you more happy." She drew in a sharp breath as she released a sob.
"I LOVE YOU KYOU-KUN!" She shouted as the tears streamed down her cheeks. Her body started to shake and she crossed her arms around her as she looked down at the ground. "I love you so much. We've…been together for so long now…we can't just give up….we just can't." She whispered.
There was a long pause on Kyou's part before he spoke. "I don't think so." He replied in a cold tone. Kagura gasped as she looked back up. She could see him looking back at her. His eyes seeming to pierce through her like daggers stabbing her many times over. He continued. "It's over Kagura." He said before he started to walk off.
"N…n…no!" Kagura whispered as she stood frozen in her spot, a look of horror crossed her face. Her worst nightmares just coming true. "Kyou-kun….don't go…" She called out just above a whisper as she reached out her hand. She could see through the cracks of her out stretched hand…the love of her life disappearing. Her eyes became blurry as her knees gave out from under her and she fell to the ground, crying uncontrollably. He walked out of her life and she never saw him again.
4 Years later
It was about 8pm when Kagura and her friends left the office. They all decided unanimously that they would go to the bar for a couple of drinks. Kagura opted not to go, however, with a little more encouragement, Kagura gave in and decided to go. Currently they were walking to the bar since it was only a few blocks away from the office and it was such a beautiful night for the middle of September. As her friends talked amongst themselves, Kagura was quite content drifting into her own thoughts. She had a tough case she was working on and it was drawing close to it's end. Regardless it was something that always stressed her out…but she loved her job and wouldn't change it for the world. As she looked around at the buzzing nightlife in the down town area, where they were, something caught her eyes. They were passing a café that was across the street from them. It was in that moment that Kagura turned her head and noticed a familiar orange haired man with a small group of people. His back was facing towards her…however…she couldn't help but to have a feeling…
Just then as if to answer her silent questions, he turned around and Kagura froze in her spot. It WAS him! By now her friends were far ahead of her…but she couldn't care. So much was racing through her mind. She hadn't seen him for 4 years! Her breath was taken away…he looked so handsome…and happy? A frown came across her face. Did she ever make him happy when they were together? Just then she slapped herself mentally. What the heck was she doing?! HE broke up with HER! It was his lost so there was no use in her wracking her brains trying to figure out what SHE did wrong. She sighed deeply as her eyes narrowed. He really was a jerk for what he did. Sure they had their problems…but he couldn't bother to work things out…he just…gave up!
Kyou on the other hand was with his friends. They decided to hang out after work and invited him to tag along. He was reluctant at first but after much convincing on their part he decided to go. As his friends engaged in a deep conversation, he drifted off on to his own thoughts. It wasn't too long ago that he came back to town. 4 long years he left this town, his friends and his family. It really made him happy to be back home. As he looked around, he noticed that there were a lot of couples out that night. Many of them around his age. He sighed deeply. He didn't know why, but it kinda got him ticked off to see their displays of love…so publicly. Even though it was his choice not to go out with anyone in the past year or two, he couldn't help but to feel a tug in his heart. As he got a good look around the area…more partially the café they were currently sitting at…his thoughts turned to that night…4 years ago. As he thought about the girl whose heart he crushed, something cause him to turn around and look behind him. At first he didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Just then, his eyes locked on a very familiar looking woman, who as a matter of fact was looking right at him. His jaw dropped. He couldn't believe it and he was just thinking about her too! For a little while longer, the two simply stared at each other. It was almost as if the world around them stopped and it was just them.
Kagura felt this sharp pain in her heart. Just like Kyou, she noticed all the couples walking around that night. It only made seeing him that much worst. After all this time, she was convinced that she was over him. She firmly believed that it was his lost and that she was better off with out him. However as she continued to stare at him…she couldn't help but to feel weak. It finally dawned on her…that maybe…she really wasn't over him at all…that in fact she was still in love with him. That one thought alone was enough to make her break down right there and then. All the terrible memories from all those years ago came back at full force. A pout came across her face as her lips quivered. Her vision became blurry as tears formed behind her eyes.
Suddenly, Kagura ran off in the opposite directions that her friends had gone. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she released a loud sob. She couldn't care less about the stares and the muttering. All that she knew was that she wanted to get out of there. She wanted to get away from him. She wanted to deny these feeling she kept locked up all these years…the very feelings that were starting to pour out against her will.
Kyou's breath was simply taken away when he saw the young woman. Feelings that he didn't even know was there started to come up to the surface. It was at that moment…when they were starring at each other…that he began to wonder what happened all those years ago. It wasn't that he was not happy with her. Quite frankly he could hardly remember why he ended the relationship in the first place. All he knew was that he wanted out. So he left her, left the town and for four years was on his own…growing and learning so much more about himself and the world around him.
He dated a few times after Kagura…but he realized that there was always something missing. He couldn't put a finger on it…but he knew it was missing. Which is why those relationships never lasted. As he thought back on his relationship with her, he remembered all of the good times and the bad times they shared. He could remember her smiles how they would light up his world and he remembered when she was angry…oh…how that girl's temper was! It rivaled that of his own! They had many heated arguments that ended with bitter words and resentment on both sides. Yet…it was always balanced out with the good times. All in all…they had a healthy relationship. So why on earth did he let it go? Now as he sat there starring at her, it was really troubling him as to why he had let her go and in such a harsh matter at that! As they continued to stare at each other, he saw her frown and he could see a broken look on her face. Before he could think of anything else, she ran away. For a moment he sat there…stunned. He didn't know what to do. He swallowed hard as he turned back to his friends. MAYBE I SHOULD LEAVE HER ALONE. He thought to himself. It seemed rational enough. Really…he figured that he might do more damage then good if he went after her. He then tuned back into what his friends were talking about. He had just drop in on a conversation that they were having about some movie.
"…So she ran off and he watched her go. He didn't even go after her cause he thought it would do more damage then good…." One of his friends said.
Kyou's eyes widen in shock. Heck if he didn't know that they were talking about a movie, he'd think that they were talking about him! For some reason, he decided to jump into the conversation.
"So…what happened with the guy, did he eventually go after the girl?" He asked.
All three guys turned to look at him. They raised their eyebrows as they gave him a skeptical look. "Glad to see that you're back with us Kyoun-Kyoun." One of the guys said smirking after calling Kyou that nickname that he hated. However, Kyou was unaffected by it…as a matter of fact, he was more interested in hearing the plot of this story they were talking about. Seeing that he had a serious look on his face, one of the guys…with dirty blond hair and green eyes, decided to answer his question.
"Well…no he didn't. It was tragic too. The girl ended up dying or something." He shook his head as he continued. "The guy was such a coward…to treat her like that. He crushed her heart and just left. If I ever knew a guy like that…" He paused as he cracked his knuckles. "He'd be begging to die before I get my hands on him." Kyou flinched at the thought as he swallowed hard.
"If I must be honest." He continued. "Love isn't the kind of thing that you just toss away when it's no longer convent for you. It's something that always requires work…something that over time can actually become more precious then the most expensive diamond in the world. You're dealing with another human who's as imperfect as you are. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship. Everyone will have arguments along with pleasurable moments."
"Man…that…was deep." A guy with dark brown hair and hazel eyes said.
The dirty blond haired man shrugged his shoulders. "I call it as I see it." He said nonchalantly.
Kyou sat quietly as he listen to the conversation. He really felt stupid now. How could he have treated her the way that he had? He decided right then and there that he should go after her. He wasn't sure just yet what to talk about…but he also knew that he couldn't just dismiss all that his friend had said.
He slowly stood up which caught his friend's attention. "Um…I'm going to call it a night." He said in a low voice as he pushed his chair under the table.
"Are you ok, Kyou?" The black haired man asked.
"Yea…" He lied. "I just need…to go for a walk. See you guys tomorrow." He said as he turned in the general direction he saw Kagura run off to.
It had been about 30 minutes since she ran away. Right now she was sitting in the park about 8 blocks away from where she saw Kyou. She would have continued to run, but it was pointless…especially since she didn't know where she wanted to go. So for the rest of the time she sat by herself crying. She took in a deep breath and tried to calm herself down…and once she did, another thought of Kyou would come to mind and she'd start to cry all over again.
"I thought I was over him…so why…" She whispered to herself as she stared at the lake which was out in front of her. "Get it together…get it together!" She tried to encourage herself.
About an hour after leaving his friends, Kyou finally came to the park. He figured he should have checked there first since he ended up spending most of his time looking all over down for the Chocolate haired woman. As he walked further into the park, near the lake, that's when he saw her. He breathed a sigh of relief to see that she was ok.
"Kagura!" He called out as he ran the rest of he way to her.
Kagura's eyes widen in shock when she heard the voice. As if to conform if she was imagining things or not, she turned to check. Sure enough she saw him running toward her. She stood up as she continued to look at him. Though her mind screamed at her to run, she stood her ground and placed a hand on her chest as she looked at him with widen eyes.
"K…Kyou…Kun…." She whispered out his name.
He finally reached her and now stood right in front of her. He was breathing heavily as he looked down at her. They stared at each other with out saying a word for a moment. Just then Kyou broke the silence.
"I'm…I'm so sorry Kagura." He started after taking in a deep breath. Kagura could see in his eyes that he was sincere. Though she had her own thoughts on the matter, she decided to let him continue.
"That day…4 years ago…" He continued as a sad look crossed his face. "…We….I mean I…" He paused as he shook his head. Much to Kagura's surprise, he grabbed her and held her in a tight embrace. "I didn't mean to do it! I can't forgive myself for hurting you like that. I…I…" He pulled her away as he looked down at her. Kagura was taken back when she saw a tear roll down his cheek. He pouted as he released a hand from her to wipe his eyes.
"I love you Kagura. I always have. I just don't know what happened all those years ago! I can't remember why I did that to you. All I remember was having this need to get away. Not from just you…but from this town…my friends and family. I was selfish…I never once considered your feelings and I hope with all of my heart that you would forgive me." He said softly as he placed a hand on her cheek and looked deeply into her eyes.
Kagura blanked a few times as she looked at him in shock. No way in her wildest dreams would she have imagine this happening! She wasn't prepared for this, not at all.
"Kyou." Kagura said in a serious tone. Kyou's eyes widen when he realized she dropped the suffix at the end of his name. She took a steep back as she looked up at him. Confused gray eyes looked deep into reddish brown eyes. With all of her heart she wanted to run into his arms. She wanted to scream 'I love you too!' Then the two would have a happy ending. However, within those 4 years that he left. She thought a lot. About them and about herself. The two were immature in many ways and it was those immaturities that lead to the end of their relationship. There was no doubt that she loved him, but there was something far more important to consider here and she needed to make that clear.
"I…I…" She began as the confused look in her eyes faded into that of determination and strength. "I forgive you." She whispered. She looked down as she paused and when she looked back up, Kyou could see a firm look on her face. "I forgive you, but that doesn't mean I'll jump into you're arms and forget about the past 4 years. You had hurt me so badly and I had no clue what I could have done to deserve that. When I saw you today, I thought I was still in love with you…"
"No…" Kyou whispered with widen eyes as he shook his head in disbelief.
"Right now…I'm content with being on my own. One thing I've learned about love since we dated…is that no matter what happens…you just don't give up. No relationship is perfect…we've had our ups and downs. What it means to love someone is to have a strong bond with them. Something that won't easily be torn.
A love has a solid foundation. It's something that's not only based on passion…but it's also based on friendship…trust and loyalty. When there's a problem…we communicate with each other rather then lashing out bitter words and holding resentment towards each other. What we had…was no where near what love should be. It was more of an infatuation then actual love."
"NO!" Kyou shouted as he held her by her shoulders. He looked like a broken men who's world was crashing around him. "Please don't say that Kagura….we…we could work it out…just give me a chance to prove it to you…please." He pleaded.
He was surprised when he saw a tired look on her face. She pushed his hands from off her shoulder as she took a step back. "I'm tired." She sighed deeply. "I really am Kyou. I'm getting older now. I want to settle down…not date around. I don't want to waste my time and energy being with you if it's not going to last. It's a waste of my time and I don't want to luck out on finding the right person for me by being with you.
If you are serious, then prove it to me. If you really want me…make sure that it's not for a short time relationship…make sure that you'd really rather be with me forever…through the good times and bad times. No matter how sick you or I get. If we have kids or not. Wither we are rich or poor." She paused as her eyes narrowed slightly. Kyou flinched back slightly as she gave him a death glare. "Because so help me…if you lie to me and you waste my time…my heart and everything I have to offer. I promise you I'll hate you with a passion and I would never want to have anything to do with you ever again!"
For a second Kyou allowed her words to sink in. It really surprised him that she spoke with such a passion and determination regarding this subject. He could see that she really did grow in to…such a woman…that any men would desire. A woman that was so precious, smart and so beautiful…
A frown came across his face. She was right. He really needed to think clearly about how serious he was. Though truth be told, he finally understood what it was like to be on her side. His heart was torn and it pained him so much. Was this what it meant….to be in love? Was this what she felt…when he left her behind?
His heart jumped to his throat as he saw her walk away with her back towards him.
"Kagura!" He called out…hoping that everything that she had said…could in some vain hopes be a lie. He was hoping that she would turn around, a huge smile would be on her face and she'd shout out 'Kyo-kun!' like she used to. He wanted to hear her tell him that she loved him. He wanted anything but to see her walking away…knowing that what he felt for her was something she no longer felt towards him.
A/N: Yea…I might get reviews asking me…what the heck! Why did she walk away if she loved him? Let me lay it out for you. She does love him. As a matter of fact, I'm starting on a sequel to this where Kyou tries to prove his love for Kagura and…well…you'll see what happens .
But the thing is that Kagura is my second favorite female in FB (First of course is Tohru!) and she's always been protrude as a fanatic for Kyou (at least that's what I think). However, regardless how she acted in the anime and manga, I truly think that she really did love Kyou. Plus I completely understand what it's like to be in love with someone who doesn't love you back. So for me to have Kagura be like 'Oh ok, I'll go back with you' after every thing that he did, I think that would show a lack of strength on her part. In this story I wanted to show a much stronger Kagura who isn't love struck but who's smart and knows what she wants.
Not only that, but to be really honest with you, I got the idea to do this fanfic from listening to the song "I'll never get over you, getting over me." By the group Expose. It's a sappy love song and I was so tempted to have it that in the end she would run back into his arms...then I got the idea and thought...how ironc it would be if she's the one who turned him down...and he never got over her. Well...enough with my yapping. Please leave a review and let me know what you think. I should put the sequel up soon...but not anytime soon...still got my other stories...this was just a detour. Ja Ne!