Rated: T

Category: Angst

Summary: Die just to see what happens…

Characters: Fuji

Disclaimer: I do not own PoT

I, Fuji Syusuke smiled, as I always do, at the shafts of sunlight penetrating the closed curtains of my room and wondered.

What's after death?

Sometimes I would think about it, over and over again, it's a thought that torments me daily, beckons me, embraces me. Sometimes I resent it, other times, I accept it.

When I finally accept it, I would take a knife and smile at it for hours on end. I've had enough of civilization for now, enough of all those stupid functions, codes. I wish it would all just come down to a flashing end, a radioactive storm perchance, or a large meteor… Anyways, I get so excited thinking about it, like the feeling of impeding doom. I want to find out, I've always wanted to know. The world is doomed anyhow, it's just a matter of time.

I also ponder about what would happen on this earth when I die, nothing perhaps, life would go on as it was the day before… after all, I'm only Fuji Syusuke, a speck on the face of this earth. Perhaps people I know personally would be affected but… they will get over it and I will be just another weathered memory of a smiling tensai. However, I want to see them struggle, to see them show that they care, because I know they do. I smile when I think of their reactions, that same smile…

Then I wonder, wonder about that same question the top scientists are trying to attest, what IS after death? I think about all the infinite possibilities that I gets so curious, so excited. I start shaking in anticipation. I wish it would come sooner, I await it anxiously. Without fail it will come one day, I'm so curious about it I could cry. I hope it comes soon, I've always hated waiting. Right now, I'm so excited about it I can hardly breathe, no I can't breathe, I want to die. All those limitless possibilities, which one is it? I ponder on it endlessly, without fail, I await it, I absolutely need to find out.

Curiosity killed the cat. I remember, and possibly it is curiosity that will kill me… I don't fear it, I anticipate it with a smile just like I do everything.

A/N: it's kinda a reflecting story for me, I just chose Fuji because he seemed most likely to … be … well not suicidal but… curious. Hm, well I feel the same way (kinda y I wrote it)… I'm wayyy too curious, mayhap a little suicidal… and kind of sadistic… but it gets me so excited I can't breathe and i wish it would happen sooner...

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