I AM SO SORRY! I know it's been ages, and that's why I probably have such bad karma. I also don't have microsoft word anymore, so I typed this up on notepad, and there will be a LOT OF SPELLING ERRORS. Which using the marvelous google, I went through and fixed, and fixed some of the spacing, and then went crazy and refused to save it. And it being so late at night I can't bring myself to do it again, so that is another thing to be SORRY about.
I'd like to thank you guys for all the reviews and messages you've sent me, saying how much you like it, or how you need to know what happens, and just wanting me to finish it. I love getting those messages, because it makes me so happy knowing you guys like it, and then I get so guilty because it's been so damn long since updating, but I deserve that guilt. Also, I'm dreadfully lazy and haven't actually re read the previous chapters, so I'm hoping this makes sense. So yeah, sorry again, hope you can look past the spelling errors, and enjoy this chapter.
WARNING: this chapter might be a little dark as it outlines a little of what happened to Kiba..
I've hurt before. It's nothing new. But I can't say for certain that I've been confronted with this sort of deliberate cruelty. Been hurt deliberately, been on the end of cruelty; just not to this magnitude. Never hated humans as much as I do now. Now that I'm here; staring up at the full moon, being allowed to heal, no chains, or ropes, or cages. Still can't move though. I've never not been able to force myself to move through the pain...until now. Just can't bring myself to do it. And the moons accusing, disapointing gaze making it that much worse.
A shiver runs through me, sharpening the pain further, for just a moment. Then it's back to the now familiar ache. I don't know how long it's been. A few days? A week? A month? How long have we been here? How long since I saw my pack? Hige's smile? Toboe's laughter? Tsume's...just Tsume. What I wouldn't give to have him here with me, but at the same time...wishing he and the others were as far away from here as possible. Are they being treated well? Are they ok? I'd like to think that I would feel if they were hurt. But what could I do if they were? Nothing.
A choked sob breaks free. I try to shift and the two guards keeping watch don't even raise their guns. I'm no threat. Not any more.
I breathe deeply, reign in any visible emotion. I don't want them to know they've won. They can think it all they like; and they'd be right. They were winning and they have won, but I don't want them to know it.
Various cuts, bruises, scrapes and welts litter my body from all the rough treatment. All the beatings,the grabbing and shoving. I wouldn't be surprised if my entire body was just one big black and blue bruise. Broken up only by bloody red gashes. My lip is split, I can taste the tang of my own blood on it. And it still burns from the cleaning product they forced down my throat earlier. The bleach fumes that made my feel light headed and dizzy only just starting to receed. But my throat is still sore from the top of the bottle cutting it and the inside of my mouth. I remember choking on the liquid as it poured out, swallowing some despite trying not to, the rest flowing over the wounds on my chest. And then later throwing up once the bubbling, burning achein my stomach got to be too much.
On the bright side, it got them to hose out the room. The room that had reaked of blood, urine, sweat, sex and vomit before I had even entered. And when they had turned the powerful hose on me...it had hurt, but at least it washed away the filth; my own as well as theirs. I had lost count of how many times they had touched me, whether in violence or perverse pleasure. Beatings and rape. Over and over, again and again. I stayed silent for themost part. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction.
They'd gotten my screams eventually though. Not even the barber wire wrapped around my neck and nailed into the wall had kept me from thrashing and screaming as they skinned my leg. "Will it come off as skin or fur, I wonder?" is what Charlie had asked. I look down now, at the twisted, pink flesh of my leg, trying to absorb the magic and spirit of the moon to heal. It stings and hurts so much. All so he could nail up a grotesque, bloody patch of white fur on the wall. Next to what looked like a wolf tooth and a small curved nail. I wasn't the first wolf this experiment had been conducted on. But I would have preffered having a tooth or nail pulled anyday.
I can hear heavy footsteps approaching. Maybe two or three sets of boots.
"How's it coming?" Charlie's voice. "All healed up?" he sneers.
"Some of the swelling has definetly gone down since coming out here." one of my watchers states.
"Yeah, so if we leave him out here for a few more hours, some of the bruising might fade and jump start the healing on the cuts and the leg. I'll have someone patch him up and shove him back with the rest boss?"
"Yeah, 'spose." Another set of bootsteps approach.
"Kai? What you doin' out here?" Charlie glares.
"Just letting you know that the other wolves are asking after him. The grey one wants to cut a deal." My heart stops. I can't breathe. Tsume can't deal with them. I don't want him dealing with them, talking to them, no, no, no, they can't touch him, can't have him. "He wants to take his place. Even if it's just while this one heals." the emotionless voice of Kai continues. I whimper. Try to force words from my abused throat, only to end up making a gasping whine.
"You trying tosay something puppy?" Charlie's face fills my view, blocking out the moon. I try to plead with him with my eyes, try to lift an arm. He grins. "Ok puppy, you heal up, and in a few days I'm going to come down there to your cell and I'm going to ask for one of you to do what I say, without any fight or incident. When I ask, you will step forward and do the damn job and not upset my clients and we'll just forget that this week happened alright? Start fresh. Otherwise I'll take the grey one and show him the trophey on my wall, tell him how you cried out so pretty when I ripped it from your thigh and hopefully, he'll do the job better then you. Got it?" Some of his spit lands on my face and I nod, not caring at the pull it causes the gashes in my neck. He smiles crookedly, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction. I hate him.
I try to sleep in the remaining time I have basking in the moon light. However just breathing causes pain, and I don't manage more then a light doze. Entirely too soon, my watchers come forward and heave me up, supporting my weight between them. I feel the tingle of the moons light on my back as they carry me back to the entrance. Within minutes I've been placed on a cot in a small room, that reaked of disinfectant. One of the guards leans in the doorway while the other talks into a radio, calling for someone to assist him.
Shortly after that a young woman arrives. She would have been beautiful once, but her skin is pastey from lack of sun light, her hair thinned, and her face seemed to have almost wilted from any former glory, all her hope having long since drained away. She calmly cleans my wounds, and patches them up, the guard in the room just passing her things on occasion, and once it comes to my leg, he holds me down firmly so she can clean it as best she can before taking her time to wrap it thoroughly.
Then the guards lift me between them once more, taking me back towards the cells.
"You might want to think about clothes again, before your friends see all your junk." One of my holders states, voice clearly saying that he doesn't care either way. I haven't had the need to think about clothes for the last few days, and stopped making them materialize after the first few times I tried to use them as a barrior between me and them. It didn't slow them down by much and only seemed to amuse them further.
My jeans, shirt, and bomber jacket suddenly appear, and the familiar feel is such a surprising comfort. "Shit, that is so weird." The guard mutters. The other just nodding his head. Our cell comes into view, and I almost sigh with relief. I just want to see them safe, and then just sleep.
The cell opens and everyone jumps up surprised. I take them all in quickly. Hige and Blue leaping off one bed, Toboe who was sitting on the floor near the bars jumping up so quick he stumbles. And Tsume, Tsume slowly rises to his feet. His leg wound healed, but clearly not expecting me to be there. One guard releases me, raises his gun to them again while he opens the door, while the other waddles inside, half dragging me in with him, before lowering me to the ground and quickly stepping back so the bars can be slammed shut again. The second they're out of sight, Tsume rushes forward, arms wrapping around me, and helping me to sit up. Hige and Toboe step forward as well but stand awkwardly for a moment, not knowing whether they're allowed to touch.
I eye Toboe apologetically. Sorry that I hurt him last time. He must read it in my face, as he smiles a little and drops into a crouch next to me.
"Come on guys, lets get him into the bed." Hige states, sounding almost content. Him and Tsume lift me onto one bed, and get me settled with plenty of thin, musty pillows at my back, before Tsume wedges himself between me and the wall. I sigh and relax into his warmth. I can hear Hige and Blue push the other bunk closer, turning the thin single bed into a double, and then he settles at my back, one of his hands resting lightly on my waist. Toboe settles at our feet, tangling himself amongst our legs. I hiss as he touches my mangled leg, and raise it up to settle on top of him. "Sorry Kiba." he mumbles, eyes going watery,and laying his head on Tsume's flank.
"It's ok Toboe." I rasp. The weight of Hige's hand increases, and I turn a little to see that Blue has wrapped herself around Hige, and has placed her hand on top of his. One good thing had to come from this mess, and that was that Blue had warmed to me at least. I turn back to the wall and Tsume. He's watching me carefully, then lifts his hand, fingers lightly grazing the bandage around my throat and curling around to the back of my head, gently pushing, so that I could lay my face against his chest.
I curl my fingers into his jacket, wishing that this simple moment would last forever. That I'd wake up with my pack curled around me, somewhere outside, just getting up to continue our journey. I'd give anything to just wake up and know that my pack were safe. My eyes drift shut, the relief at seeing them, touching them, forcing everything away so that I'll get one night of peaceful sleep, here, in our hell.