Letters of Doubt


Shake it once that's fine, shake it twice that's okay

Shake it three times you're playin' with yourself again


(V)(I)(C(E) (V)(E)(R(S)(A)

Turning his head, Naruto was dumbfounded to see Sasuke's arm draped over his waist and the brunette's face not two inches away from his own.

'... I really think I need that psychiatrist about now.'

He gulped and grimaced, slowly pushing the arm away from his body. A gasp escaped him when he heard Sasuke groan in his sleep and tighten his grip on the blonde. He growled in impatience and pushed his arms against the brunette's chest, earning a grunt from the other male shortly after. 'Oh…I might not want to do that.' He bit his lip then, trying to scoot backwards at a steady pace, but Sasuke's hold was tight, and he was caught. 'Nyah, damn it!'

Then he came to a brilliant, flawless decision. Of course! Why had he not thought of it before? Narrowing his eyes and with perfect aim, he slung a knee between Sasuke's legs. The Uchiha's eyes opened in a start, and he clambered away like a wounded animal.

"Holy fuck! What the bloody hell was that for?!" he shouted, nearly falling off the bed and clenching his teeth together. Pain washed over his body in waves, and he squeezed his eyes shut in agony. His face turned a bright shade of red as he clutched his clothed groin.

"I'm sorry, but you didn't wake up with my arm around you!" Naruto retorted, face brimming. "I can't even believe you dared do something like that! You're a fucking lunatic." With that, he stood from the bed, grabbing a new change of clothing and walking into the bathroom. He made absolutely certain to slam the door behind him.

Still in the bedroom, Sasuke couldn't suppress a loud groan. The area between his legs caused him much discomfort, after all. And that was one more thing he had to worry about. Today, as Gaara had told the two, a "motivational speaker" would be visiting each of them. Sasuke would have preferred the man to call them psychiatrists. Moments later, he heard Naruto beckon to him in a not-so-polite manner. "Hey fag, there's someone at the door for you!"

Sasuke frowned and stood, making his way into the front room quickly. "Yeah?" he questioned, finding himself staring at a very tall, very stern looking man. His hair was long, and eyes pale. Pale and cold. Sasuke's body went ridged.

"Sasuke Uchiha, I assume," he said, looking down at a notepad held between his long, pale fingers.

Sasuke scoffed. 'All of these guys have those stupid tablets,' he mused, eyes stretching to see the words on the paper. To his demise, he could not see. He backed away, frown expanding. "Yes, that is me. Who are you?"

The man scowled at him. "I don't have to tell you that. But you must now come with me. Our session lasts only an hour, and I'm determined to make you cry."

The icy words lingered in the air. 'Determined to make me…cry? What the fuck is this guy talking about?' But he followed nonetheless and found himself being led to a secluded room, one he and Naruto had not discovered yet, much to his surprise. It was far past the kitchen. Perhaps that was why…?

"Now, Sasuke Uchiha," the man said, and sat in a comfortable chair. He folded his legs. "Please, have a seat," he gestured at another chair nearby, "so we may begin."

'Ah, a room where they can talk to us,' he thought, and did as told. 'Talk to us without anyone else hearing, that is. What exactly are they trying to get at?'

"My name is Neji. Neji Hyuuga. I am your personal psychia- uh… motivational speaker. Yes, yes, and I am here to discuss your problem!" He chuckled lightly, but Sasuke could see he was tense as a wound coil. On top of that, he was not exactly making the Uchiha happy. Quite the contrary, really.

"My…problem?" echoed Sasuke, as though he had heard incorrectly. "Excuse me? What 'problem' are you talking about?"

Neji raised a smooth eyebrow at the question. "Your homosexuality, of course."

Sasuke fumed. Then, he stood. His blood boiled, and the man's voice boomed in his head. "Oh, so now it's a problem?! Who the fuck do you think you are, waltzing in here and telling me I'm wrong for being attracted to other guys?!" Who the fuck did this guy think he was, anyways? Sasuke was shouting now, and shouting loudly, for Naruto could hear him faintly many rooms down. It roused a curiosity in the blond, but he dared not let anyone know.

"I think I am here because it is my job," Neji prompted casually. "I am only trying to evaluate your situation. That little upset this morning indicates the little progress we are making here."

'Of course he knows about that. How could he not know about it? The stupid prick.' "Look, I'm done here," Sasuke said, and started for the door without missing a beat. "Terribly sorry to disappoint you for the lack of crying," he added, "but I really do have better things to be doing right now. So if you'll excuse me-"

Neji narrowed his eyes dangerously. Like cat slits, Sasuke thought. "Better things?" he said. "Like what, fantasizing about that delicious blond a few rooms down?"

That was it. Sasuke was fed up with that smart mouth. "Look here!" he howled, turning on his heels to glare at the older man. They were both standing. "You shut up and stop insulting me! I'm a god damn queer, okay? I admit it! I know this- I've known my entire life! It never has been and never will be a surprise to me! And another thing," he continued, coming dangerously close to Neji's face, "I am not fantasizing about that bastard. I never will, okay?" He was just inches from the other, their noses just barely touching. "He hates me. And I hate him."

Then, rendering him breathless, Neji pressed his lips roughly against his own. The man pushed himself flush against Sasuke, the two bodies coming into a close, heated contact. Electricity buzzed throughout Sasuke's body, and he was speechless as the moist lips tore apart from his own. Speechless, and dizzy. His mind whirled with a million thoughts, not a single one of them coherent. He parted his lips in a small pant as Neji backed away. "What…the fuck?" he spat after a moment's hesitation.

Neji cleared his throat and picked his tablet up. Then, he opened the door, breezing past Sasuke without a second thought. Before leaving, he turned and smirked. "Good day, Sasuke Uchiha," he chuckled. "We will continue your session next time." And of course, he winked. Everyone seemed to be doing that lately, Sasuke thought with a frown.

It wasn't for quite some time before he regained a sturdy track of thought. And even then he could not think straight. Had that Neji guy actually kissed him? Kissed him! And after insulting him? To make matters worse, he had to admit, it was a pretty good kiss- but that didn't change a thing! Right…?

Eventually, he shook himself as though he had landed in a bucket of ice water. (The thought made him chuckle, because really, he felt as if he had done that very thing.) He had to sort this out in his brain. He could no let this get to him! 'That's exactly what they want, isn't it?' he thought, and glanced around the room warily. 'They want to know what my reaction is, perhaps? Well then, I'll just have to give them a run for their money! Well, my money in this case.'

He wiped his lips on the sleeve of his shirt and exited the room, softly closing the door behind him. The taste of that Neji lingered on his lips. He shuddered and went on, ignoring the strange sensation and walking into the kitchen. "Hn," he mumbled aloud. "Is there any alcohol here? Hey dobe!" Expecting an answer, he turned his head and looked. No Naruto. Where was that blond anyways? 'Where did he run off to now?'

With an annoyed groan, he sauntered into the living room. Alas, there was no Naruto, and Sasuke was becoming quite impatient. There were rooms that he did not know about remaining in the house, obviously- this was true, but still. It really wasn't like Naruto to go off somewhere and just disappear like that. Or was it? Sasuke hadn't known him for very long, actually. He shrugged then. Maybe the kid was more adventurous than he thought? Or maybe he was just avoiding the other. Either way, Sasuke didn't care. He'd much rather simply keep to himself, after all.

And a yelp then. Sasuke's head lifted at the noise, just as he was preparing to crash into a sofa. 'Where did…?' A crash followed.

"Get your fucking hands off of me!"

Sasuke stared in the direction of the voice. Naruto's voice. The struggled cries he heard a few rooms down could only mean one thing. 'Ah, so he's started his 'session', then?' Sasuke snickered and relaxed into a cushion. He reached for the television remote with a satisfied sigh.


"Get your fucking hands off me!"

"Relax, kid! Jeez, you're acting like you're getting raped or something!"

Naruto growled and glared up at the person who held him. It was a woman. "Well maybe you are! How do I know you won't, huh? Huh!" He writhed, but it was no use. He stopped struggling just moments after, and he gave a reluctant sigh. "Okay, okay. What do you want? And who are you?"

The woman released him and placed her hands on both hips. She blew a tuft of golden hair from her eyes. "My name is Temari," she explained. "I'm here to…have a little chat with you. You see," she added, and began pacing around Naruto in circles, "I've been sent here to drain you of information, or so they say." She laughed then, and stopped.

Naruto gulped. "Whaaat? What are you talking about? Isn't it enough that I have to live with that Uchiha, let alone sleep in the same bed as him? What more do you want from me?"

"I want to know," Temari said, "why you dislike homosexuals. And why you're so certain you're not one."

Naruto couldn't help himself. He burst into a laughing fit that could be heard from a good mile or so. What idiocy! Why, first of all, would he need to explain his reasons for homophobia? And moreover, how in the world could this woman ask him why he was assuredly not gay himself? It was too much, he thought, hands going to his ribs in an exaggerated way. "Wha-what?" he said amidst his laughter.

"I think you could possibly be gay," Temari said without missing a beat. "And I think you can't deny it. Am I right?"

And then, Naruto was silent. Everything was, it seemed. He even thought he could hear the walls staring at him. '…What?' he thought. He then realized that, strangely, he had nothing to say in return.

Shaking his head vigorously, he said, "I'm not gay. I love women. I love boobs! I love the vagina!" He smiled sheepishly. "Do you want me to sing it for you, lady? 'Cause don't think I won't!"

Temari waggled her finger and smirked. "My my, aren't you so sure of yourself? Well," she said, "in that case, sharing a bed with Sasuke Uchiha shouldn't bother you. Am I correct?"

"Yeah, but waking up with his arm around me is another story."

"Ah yes," said Temari, "there was that, wasn't there? Well in that case I suggest you find a way to keep him away from you. He is, in fact, homosexual. And if you are homophobic as you say, then this should be your first priority, no?"

Naruto agreed completely. He grinned and gave a single, curt nod. "Yeah. I'll find a way to keep him away from me! You just watch." There wasn't much left to say afterward. Except, "Thanks, lady. I, uh, appreciate it? I guess..."

Temari rolled her eyes. "Just doing my job. And the name's Temari- not lady! Okay?"

Naruto nodded, and within minutes the woman had left him in silence to ponder quietly. A way to keep Sasuke away from him? The stay had just begun, and there was quite some time remaining before he could go home with his money prize. What could possibly repel the Uchiha? What? Naruto chewed on his bottom lip and racked his brain. 'What if...'

His eyes widened. 'What if I…'


Sir, I think you'd better take my hand and pray we make it out alive

A/N: (Ohoho, what is Naruto planning? And why do those pesky people keep getting in the way? Hmm...)

O hay look, an update. Yeah, been a while. I've been absent for a loooong time. You can expect an update for FCL in a few days too. Maybe a few SasuNaru one shots or something to make up for this gap in writing. I just had awful writer's block, and I wasn't in the mood to write in this story- at all. Still not, a little. But more than I used to be. Hey, at least I updated! -frown-