Disclaimer : Nothing owned, nothing gained!

Characters : Ahem, erm Sasuke, Naruto.

Warnings : Oh my. This was a rp kind of. Our msn conversation is posted throughout the story. Almost dirty things happen. Pure Crack. Male/Male


Naruto and Sasuke

It was a dreary Tuesday when Naruto was at Sasuke's house begging to go for ramen.

"Sasuke, please?!" Naurto begged, while pulling at Sasuke's shirt.

"No, dobe, fucking hell, I'm not buying you ramen!" Sasuke yelled, pushing the idiot off.

"But . . ." Naruto got cut off.

"NO! Now go home already . . . Why do I have to go anyways?" Sasuke asked while walking into his living room.

Naruto hopped after him. "Please, please, please, please?" he chanted. Sasuke whirled around and glared at the blond.

"There is no fucking way in hell I would ever take you, now piss off!" he yelled.

Naruto's bottom lip stuck out and he gave Sasuke a puppy dog look. "Please?" he asked again.

Taryn: ((omg you know i'm posting this right?))

Sasuke sighed "Why the hell do I have to go?" he said, again.

Katie: ((why r u posting it?))

"Because I love you and Sakura-chan won't take me! And Kakashi-sensei's busy with Iruka today!!" Naruto wailed.

Taryn: ((I'm posting because i'm totally cool /grins/))

Sighing Sasuke walked over to the blond "Go home Naruto," he said grabbing onto the back of Naruto's shirt.

Katie: ((ur not totaly awsome i am))

Instead of bringing Naruto outside, he threw Naruto into his bedroom, and onto his bed.

Katie: ((fucking hell))

Taryn: ((I like where this is going, dont you?))

Katie: ((no i really dont...i dont want to write this...im not some pervert like u))

Taryn: ((okay okay fine...))

Sasuke went into the room after Naruto and threw him out the window.

Katie: ((question...was it rainy in the story))

Taryn: ((uhhh...dreary...))

Katie: ((could it be rainy i want hit to land but then fall on his ass))

Taryn: ((kay sure))

Katie: ((awsome))

Naruto landed on the ground with a soft thud, but seeing that the ground was wet, he just ended up falling flat on his ass. This, in return, made Sasuke laugh a little. Naruto glared up at Sasuke and yelled some curse words up at him. Naruto then looked down and walked away, very, very sadly.

"What an ass," Naruto mumbled, "he'll pay for this."

Naruto slowly made his way to a small park, that wasn't that far away from Sasuke's house, and sat under a tall tree.

Naruto quickly came up with a plan on how to get Sasuke back, and, let's just say . . . it involved a lot of potatos . . .

Taryn: ((shifty eyes))

Katie: ((potatos taryn wtf...that really isn't scary u do know that right))

Taryn: ((dont worry, you'll come up with something!!))

Katie: ((fuck u!))

Katie: ((ok then...well i have to some how turn potatos...into a plan?))

Taryn: ((just continue on with the story...people are gonna be like wtf anyways! ... oh i know make naruto fill sasukes cupboards wih only potatos and then like leave clues!))

Katie: ((fucking hell...that just sounds stupid...))

Naruto's plan consisted of him filling Sasuke's cupboards and every thing that had a door on it . . . which meant . . . Sasuke's house. He knew that he would have to do this in a short amount of time, but that wouldn't be to hard because he was a ninja of course.

Katie: ((have fun))

Katie: ((i eat ice...))

Naruto waited ten minutes before finally putting his plan into action. He immediatly raced to the middle of town where he found a potato vendor. Buying 6 million potatos, he performed his shadow clone jutsu and got each of them to take like 6 potatos and head to Sasuke's house.

-AT SASUKE'S HOUSE-

Naruto soon found himself at the front door of the dark haired man's house. Quietly, he snuck in and started his plan.

Katie: ((hmmm...r u putting anything and everything we say on msn into this story))

Taryn: ((YEAH!))

Filling every cupbaord to the brim with potatos, Naruto quickly finished the easy part of his plan.

Katie: ((fucking hell...hey is it night in the story))

Taryn: ((I dunno...it was a dreary tuesday...you pick))

Katie: ((no like now...fuck this...its going to be night now...))

Naruto made his way to Sasuke's room.

"And this," he thought,"is for throwing me our you window..." Opening the door he noticed a motionless form laying the bed. Slowly he crept over to the man.

Katie: ((omg im watching code geass and they were talking and then simple plan music started playing...i was like wtf man...))

Taryn: ((thats nice))

Katie: ((i know...))

Naruto poked the motionless figure, not knowing that Sasuke was standing behind him. "Dobe? what are you doing?" he asked, annoyed. Naruto jumped about 100 feet in the air.

Katie: ((k taryn...hes in Sasukes room...hed just end up hitting his head...wait...im so going to say that...weeeeewoooooo))

Naruto had forgotten that he was in Sasuke's room and ended up hitting his head on the roof. Naruto hit the floor with a loud thud.

"Hey, dobe, get up," Sasuke said kicking Naruto's side, but he remained motionless.

". . ." Sasuke didnt say anything else, and just picked Naruto up and put Naruto onto his bed. Looking down at Naruto's unconcious face, Sasuke smirked. Even Naruto can be cute sometimes.

Taryn: ((NO RAPE!!))

Katie: ((i know i know...i dont want rape anyways...god...chill out old man))

Then Sasuke noticed something. A red substance trickled down Naruto's tan cheek. "Shit," Sasuke mumbled, walking off to go and find his first aid kit.

While Sasuke was gone, Naruto's eyes slowly fluttered open. He glanced around the room and figured that he was in Sasuke's bedroom . . . on Sasuke's bed. Naruto's face went bright red, and he let out a small yelp as he jumped off the bed.

"What the hell happened?" Naruto asked.

Slowly making his way over to the door, he noticed that it was locked.

"God damn it Sasuke," he thought, angrily, "who the hell locks someone in their room . . . unless . . . no . . . I need to get out of--"

SMACK

The door opend and hit Naruto square in the face knocking him out again.

Taryn: ((naruto just has no luck huh/.?))

Katie: ((yeah i guess...or hes just really really stupid))

Taryn: ((its cuz he's blond...))

Sasuke heard something run into the door, and he quickly entered the room and looked at the idiot laying on the floor. Sasuke sighed and picked him up, and put him on the bed once again. Wrapping up the cut on Naruto's head, Sasuke sighed again.

Katie: ((yes taryn...cuz hes blond))

"Will you ever learn?" he asked the 'sleeping' boy, while sitting on the edge of his bed.

Sasuke sat watching the younger boy for an hour, until Naruto woke up. "Teme?" he asked, sitting up. Sasuke smirked.

Katie: ((y the hell did he smirk))

Taryn: ((because hes sasuke...))

Katie: ((...))

Taryn: ((Just write something!!))

Katie: ((fine, princess))

"I've got you right where I want you, my little Naruto," thought Sasuke, pervertedly.

Taryn: ((i like where its going again!! XD))

Naruto noticed a funny glint in Sasuke's eye, and shuddered a little. "Teme?" he asked again. Sasuke reached down and caressed Naruto's cheek. Naruto attempted to shrink away from Sasuke's touch.

Taryn: ((/giggles/ haha 'caress'...haha))

Katie: ((is he standing by him? oh and send me that song again...it didn't work))

Taryn: ((the actual ending makes me cry this just makes me sad... /wind --then ending to naruto/))

Katie: ((right...so was sasuke standing))

Taryn: ((i think he was sitting))

Katie: ((...then how can he reach down))

Taryn: ((...stfu...))

Katie: ((fine...but this is going to make no sence))

Sasuke, noticing the slight movements in Naruto, moved towords him and pinned him to the overly large bed. Naruto whimpered a little and looked up at Sasuke with fearfull eyes.

"Sasuke," Naruto said in a hushed voice.

Katie:((k well the video wont work...))

Taryn: ((huh that sucks for you huh?))

Katie: ((shut up...whats the name of it))

Taryn: ((wind by Akeboshi))

Katie: ((thats the name of the video?))

Taryn: ((no buts the name of the song))

Katie: ((whats the name of the video))

Taryn: ((Naruto- wind))

Katie: ((kk thanx))

Katie: (( this one /youtube video/?))

Taryn: ((yeah execpt the full version but that vid makes me cry...))

Katie: ((...poor taryn))

Naruto stared up at Sasuke's determined face. Sasuke stared back down. Leaning down, Sasuke closed the gap between them by pressing his lips onto Naruto's, causing the blond boy to spaz.

Katie: ((fuck we are messed up...in the mind...we say no rape and what do we do?...rape...))

Naruto's eyes got big and he started to move. This made Sasuke pissed, he pulled away.

"Naruto" he said in a fake loving tone "Don't worry, I wont do anything . . . bad. So please stop moving."

Naruto glared up at Sasuke. "This morning you wouldn't take me for ramen and you now expect me to . . . let you . . . do this!? God, you're an asshole!" Naruto yelled, struggling to get up. Sasuke blinked, then smirked.

"So, its ramen you want? I'll get you all the ramen you can eat if you stop resisting . . ." Sasuke bribed. Naruto stared at the raven, contemplating his offer.

Taryn: ((this stuff is easy to write!!))

Katie: ((yeah i guess...that might be because we are so sick minded))

Naruto smiled "Ok, Sasuke, but only if you let my hands go . . ."

Sasuke paused for a second, realizing that the minute that he let Naruto go, the dobe would run away. Sasuke chuckled, sadistically. "There's no way im letting you go, my little pet . . ." he mumbled in Naruto's ear.

Naruto gasped "NOOOOO, I WILL NEVER BE YOUR PET YOU . . . YOU . . ." Naruto began to struggle again "Let me go, let me go, let me go!" he screamed.

Sasuke only held him down harder. "Naruto, you're not getting away, you're too good of a catch to let you get away . . ." Sasuke told him. Naruto glared, still struggling.

"What does that mean?" he asked, angrily.

Katie: ((omg i hit my head like three times today))

Taryn: ((omg thats nice))

Katie: ((i know ain't it...damn i cant think...its pissing me off))

Naruto saw a certain glint in Sasuke's eye and wondered if Sasuke was being hypnotized. At this point Sasuke had Naruto's shirt off. Naruto realized this and started screaming like a little girl.

Katie: ((um...))

"Na . . . ru . . . to" Sasuke whispered in the blond's hair. "Please . . . you have to be quiet"

Katie: ((hey...can we swear in this))

Taryn: ((yeah we can swear))

Naruto stared at Sasuke, wondering what was up with him. He stopped screaming.

Katie: ((yay!! something im good at))

Katie: ((hey...where are they right now))

Katie: ((eww my hands sticky...))

Taryn: ((i think they're in sasuke's bed...i think yeah sure...they can be...and i dont wanna know what you've been doin with your hand))

Katie: ((ew moron...its from spilling a drink...))

Looking around the room, Naruto remembered where he was . . . Sasuke's fucking huge ass room, on his huge ass bed.

Taryn: ((wtf? did naruto like have a retarded moment where he forgot where he was or something?))

Katie: ((shut up..i couldn't think of anything...))

Taryn: ((ok ok fine, i'll do the awesome writing then!!!))

Katie: ((oh god))

While Naruto was being stupid and staring around the room, because he seemed to accumulate some sort of Alzheimer's disease, Sasuke had managed to get his pants off.

Katie: ((...i dont wanna right about him getting raped))

Katie: ((uhg..what ever...))

Naruto shuddered, as a cold breeze, ghosted over his now exposed skin. And so he proceeded to scream . . . again. Sasuke wanted to reach up and cover his ears, because Naruto screamed pretty loud. He didn't do that though, because he knew that Naruto would just run away from him.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD GET THE HELL OFF ME" Naruto screamed "HHHEEELLLPPPP!! SOMEONE HE'S TRYING TO RA-" he was cut off by his captures lips. Naruto's body froze up.

Naruto couldn't say that he particularily hated this, he just wasn't happy with it. Well, actually his mind wasn't happy with it, but his body was.

Taryn: ((hehe))

Katie: ((fucker))

Slowly his tensed body began to loosen up, and began to give into Sasuke's wish's.

Taryn: ((/bangs head into computer/ I'm laughing really hard right now))

Katie: ((y my writingness that bad))

Taryn: ((tch no! But like...wtf are we writing?))

Katie: ((We are writing...crap))

Soon both were in the absence of proper clothes and the open window in which Naruto was thrown out of earlier was making them freeze. 'Damn the dreary-ness of Tuesdays' Sasuke thought, sadly as he got up to close the window. He half expected Naruto to be gone when he came back to the bed, but Naruto was still there, lying with half-lidded eyes, as if he liked this.

Katie: ((…))

Taryn: ((?))

Katie: ((…))

Taryn: ((just keep damn writing))

"S . . . Sasuke?" the blond said meekly. Sasuke noticed how awfully pleading Naruto looked. He wanted . . . something . . . but was it to not do this . . . or to do it?

Katie: ((fucking hell...))

Katie: ((i dont wanna write about him getting fucking raped...god...ur such a whore))

Taryn: ((fine, then just make sasuke and him like...stop? or like...make out? i dunno you can think for once, my brainless friend))

Katie: ((fuck you))

Taryn: ((oh shit, zeid logged on))

Slowly Sasuke made his way over to the bed where Naruto lay.

"Yes?" the lust filled raven asked.

Katie: ((i know...no good can come from that))

Katie: ((just ignore him))

Taryn: ((ok))

"I-I . . . don't know what I want to do. You're just so damn good at this, no wonder Sakura-chan likes you so fucking much," Naruto said, looking at his feet, instead of the pale kid's eyes.

Katie: ((HES LIEING DOWN MORON!!))

Taryn: ((so?))

Taryn: ((lol))

Taryn: ((dont hurt me))

Katie: ((HOW THE HELL WOULD HE LOOK AT HIS FEET))

Katie: ((god are u stupid))

Taryn: ((uhh...he's not like...fat or anything...he can see his feet!))

Katie: ((...but...y would he look at his feet? i mean really h could look to the side…god...never mind... ur to stupid))

Moving Naruto's head so that he was looking at him Sasuke said " Naruto . . . why the hell would I care what that whore thinks of me?"

Katie: ((omg..shes like u taryn...just like u))

Taryn: ((fuck you, you fag!))

Taryn: ((no wait, i wanna be the fag, you be the whore!!))

Katie: ((i dont sell my self for money so im better!!))

Katie: ((no..u cant change names..god))

Taryn: ((ihate you so much))

Katie: ((oh well))

Katie: ((ur not the fag i fucking am moron...we allready decided this...so suck it up whore))

Naruto shrugged, then grinned. "Because you have to looooovvveee one of us."

"Well . . ." Sasuke thought a little

"I guess I like you better, Dobe," he replied.

"WHAT!" the overly stupid blond yelled.

Katie: ((Taryn whore u shall always be known as whore))

Katie: ((hey u talking to zeid))

Taryn: ((kinda why?))

Katie: ((haha im not))

Taryn: ((tch...ok no more talking for a while...just STORY!!!))

Katie:((kk..brb))

"I LOOOOVEEE YOU TOOO, SASUKE!!! JUST LIKE A FAT KID LOVES CAKE AND LICKING HIS TOES!!!" Naruto yelled, excitedly.

Katie: ((WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?))

"Naruto . . . What the hell is wrong with you?" Sasuke asked, slightly pissed.

Katie: (fuck u.,,u cant be the fag.. ur a whore moron))

Taryn: ((oh, but if ur a fag, then you can love ... MANNA!!!))

Katie: ((ok…))

Taryn: ((not the cool one from DGRAYMAN, but the gross one...like as in...anna...brownlee))

Katie: ((ok im sure u'll be able to have her to ur self...))

"I just thought you wanted me to say something drastic to rpove my undying love for you. I'm sorry Sasuke, don't hate me now," Naruto . . .

Taryn: ((HOLY FUCK!! TRENT!!!))

Katie: (( trent? the boy in the basement? with the spiders?))

Taryn: ((yeah! i just remembered him!!))

Katie: ((oh no...the story is on the computer at school..never to be found again...shit))

Taryn: ((NOOOO!! TREEEENNNNNTTTT!!! WAHHH!!! DAMN YOU SEASON OF SUMMER!!!))

Katie: ((lol...k so finish what u were saying..u ended with naruto...))

said. Sasuke was about to say something, but some odd object was thrown into his window.

"Sasukeeee-kkkuuunnn!!"

Katie: ((and so the bitch enters...dundundun))

Taryn: ((lol))

Sakura came flying into the room on a vine. She saw Naruto lying on Sasuke's bed, deprived of clothing and had a heart attack.

Taryn: ((there she is dead now))

Katie: ((a vine?))

"So . . ."Naruto said "What'cha wanna do with it"

Sasuke glanced around the room, all shifty-like. "Lets . . ." he started. Sasuke was unable to finish his sentence, due to the fact that LEE came swooping into the room and picked up the pink haired thing and then jumped out the window.

". . ." was all the pair could say.

Then they couldn't hold it in any longer, and Sasuke jumped onto Naruto and they made out, just to spite Sakura . . . and they liked it.

Reluctantly they parted for air, got clothed, and went downstairs. Naruto went into Sasuke's kitchen and went into a cupboard, searching for ramen, and . . . potatoes exploded all over the place. Naruto groaned.

"Naruto . . . WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY HOUSE?!" Sasuke spazzed.

Katie: ((like taryn every day))

Taryn: ((Screw you))

"Uhh . . . nothing!" Naruto said, running out of the house.

Taryn: ((can it be the end yet?))

Katie: ((wait i have the best ending...))

Taryn: ((…))

"Naruto you have got to be shitting me," Sasuke said while running after the blond "Goddammit I'm going to fucking kill you!!"

"Yeah if you can catch me" the blond yelled back, and then suddenly disappearing.

The chase went on for days and only ended after Naruto found dead Sakura and lee having 'sex' on a park bench. Naruto, being the man he was, fainted and was soon found by Sasuke, who took him . . .

. . . to his house, tied him up, and forced him to watch four hours of Invader Zim.

THE END!


Taryn: AHAHAHAAHA!!! I LOVE THE ENDING, BUT IT WOULD BE HELL FOR YOU, RIGHT?! LOL...wait...I made you watch that much Zim didn't I?

Katie: Yeah... you did.

Taryn: Oh well, I'm not sorry.

Pfft. We're Gods.
-Taryn (&Katie)