Another fic by yours sincerely.
Alright, lets cut the crap! I, The Blonde Midget, have written a new fic, and this one is not, hold on to something, a Seto/Jou fic! ...at least not mainly, but the pairing will be mentioned.
No, this one is a Bakura/Anzu pairing!
-loud gasp from the readers-
-eye twitch- ...what the- NO! Ignore the earlier line; This will be a Ryou/Bakura fic!
-sighs of relief from the readers-
Yes, it is my first attempt of Tendershipping, or the Ryou/Bakura pairing! I have been dying to write this fic since I watched a certain episode of Battle City...-sighs- Oh, the wonders of implied slash!
Oh, and for you reading Old Love…-sigh- I am SOOO Sorry that I haven't updated in…what is it now, four months? Gah! But, I am trying really hard right now to write…this story won't make any difference in the speed I write Old Love, because this one is basically done. So, no worries, okay? ;)
Alright, lets just move on! To the fic!
Plot: Ryou asks Bakura a question; does he care? The answer, however, makes Ryou brake, and he feels like he doesn't want to live anymore. So, what's there to do? Our broken angel goes for his last resort...sleeping pills.
Disclaimer: I own nothing! If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh, there would be so much more than implied slash in the series...and Anzu would be dead. Like, totally.
Pairings: Ryou/Bakura, with small mentions of other pairings.
Warnings: A few spoilers from Battle City; not much though. Boy/Boy love, angst and some Anzu bashing. Suicide attempt, and overall darkness. Not a fic for people who easily cries!
Okay, lets get this fic on the road!Ryou's room
The pale face of the moon reflected through the window of Ryou's room. The sun's pale and cold sister graced the room with its pale rays of light, and ended up on a bed. The covers were white, and neat.
Under the covers of the bed laid Ryou Bakura. The pale boy sighed deeply, and turned over to lie on his back and stare up on the ceiling. White, just like his hair. White wherever he looked.
The brown eyes shone with sadness, and also reflected a few unshed tears. When the eyelids slowly moved down over the eyes, the drops escaped their prison of his eyes, to roll down his cheeks.
Ryou was depressed. And he had been ever since Battle City ended. After that, both his and Yugi's yamis had got their own bodies. (1)
First, he had been very happy over having his body all to himself, and not be imprisoned in the room of his soul. And then he had been even more thrilled that Bakura had gotten his own body so they now could meet face to face. He had hoped that Bakura would change, maybe treat him nicely even!
And he did. For a week or two.
Then, it all changed again. Bakura hadn't changed at all; he was still bringing him down, and didn't see him as anything more than an obstacle and a slave. It was either; 'get out of my way, you worthless piece of crap', or 'Get me something to eat, hikari.' In rare cases, when Ryou got lucky, he would maybe get a 'thanks' after getting something Bakura wanted.
Ryou should hate him.
Then just why did he love him?
Maybe because Bakura had shown that he cared at least a little sometimes. One time, for example, the former tomb robber had saved him from a group of thugs that had wanted to beat him up. And, another time, he had saved him from certain death when he was about to drown in a lake when he and the others had been on a camping trip.
And, Bakura could be nice. Once in a while, the two of them would talk, actually talk, about things. Normally, it was Ryou who talked, and Bakura looked bored. But, Ryou knew that Bakura listened; he could tell from the look in his eyes.
Ryou sighed, and closed his eyes in a faint attempt to block out the thoughts. Why couldn't he just fall asleep and dream happy dreams? Or just sleep without any dreams at all? That was all he wanted to do; sleep and forget about his horrible life. But sleep just wouldn't consume him. Not the smallest trace of drowsiness or fatigue existed within him, not even in the smallest hours of the day...
The loud slam of a door was heard from not too far away, pulling Ryou out if his midnight ponderings.
Ryou sat up when he heard steps in the stairs up to his room. His heart started beating harder when he felt who it was. Unconsciously, he pulled his fingers through his hair, and licked his suddenly dry lips. Anxiousness shone from every part of his body when he stared at the soon to be opened door.
The door opened with a slam, and bright light shone into the room from the opening, only broken slightly by a silhouette in the door opening.
Ryou's heart jumped when the tomb robber walked in and turned on the light before closing the door with an unnecessarily loud slam .
He swallowed. "H-Hi, Bakura." He managed to stammer out.
Bakura simply snorted in reply, before changing into his nightwear. Ryou quickly looked away when Bakura ripped off his shirt and jeans to put on a pair of black silk pants and a black tee. A very pale blush tinted Ryou's cheeks, and he laid down.
Soon, the shuffling of clothes stopped, and then Ryou heard a creak from the bed in the other end of the room, signalling that Bakura had gone to bed. And then, the light went out to leave the two boys in the dark.
"Good night, Bakura." Ryou said softly, and held his breath for a second.
"'Night." Bakura mumbled back, and then there was only silence in the room.
Ryou sighed, and rolled over to his back again. He still couldn't sleep, and that Bakura now was in the same room didn't make it any better...
He needed his sleeping pills.
Ryou silently crept out of his bed, and tiptoed to the door, and opened it silently. Then he walked out and then closed the door just as quietly as he opened it.
Unbeknownst to Ryou, a pair of brown eyes opened in the same moment the door closed. The pair of orbs turned to the closed door, and a deep sigh was heard. "Not again..." Came a low mumble, before the eyes closed again.
With very light steps, careful not to wake Bakura, Ryou went to the bathroom where the heavenly pills were kept. He opened the door, turned on the lights, squinting his eyes slightly at the bright light. His eyes slowly got used to the brightness, and Ryou closed the door behind him. Then he walked up the sink, and looked into the mirror on the cabinet door.
Brown, dull eyes met his own, and he sighed deeply. Faintly, you could spot a pair of dark rings around them, caused by lack of natural sleep and emotional stress. Long, soft looking, silverwhite hair that framed his face in a way that made him look beautiful, according to his friends. Pale, smooth skin without a single scar or unfairness.
"You look like an angel." Yami once said, before looking away with a bright blush. Before Ryou could ask about it, his other friends agreed heatedly to Yami's comparison.
Ryou couldn't see how someone, anyone, could refer to him as an angel. He didn't see the same thing others saw in his reflection. All he could see was a broken and ugly person, who didn't deserve to live.
"A worthless piece of crap." Like Bakura said. That was what Ryou saw.
Shaking away those thoughts, Ryou opened the cabinet over the sink, and took the small can with pills. He quickly shook out two of the white pills and put them in his palm. Then he closed the lid of the can and put it back. After taking a deep breath, Ryou swept the pills into his mouth and swallowed with professional quickness. He was getting used to taking those pills.
Ryou were starting to get addicted to those pills; he barely could sleep without them anymore. And it was getting harder and harder to only take two; Ryou was sometimes very tempted to take a few more, and forever sleep...a dreamless sleep...
But he never did. He was too afraid. Too afraid of death, and once more being alone in darkness.
Ryou sighed deeply, and walked back towards the bedroom. Just as silently as he had gone out, he sneaked back into the room, and back into his bed. There, he relaxed under the covers, and sighed contently. Now, he would finally be able to sleep...
Just as he finished that thought, Ryou fell asleep, into a sleep without any dreams.
The next morning, Ryou woke before Bakura, as usual. And, as usual, he got up and got dressed while Bakura snored in the bed. On routine, Ryou took out Bakura's school uniform too, before going down into the kitchen to make breakfast. Or, making breakfast was what he intended to do at first.
Standing in the doorway, he stopped for a moment to look back into the room. His gaze wandered to the bed where Bakura slept. The covers were wrapped around the former tomb robber's body, like a butterfly's cocoon. Deep breaths heaved Bakura's chest up and down in a calm and even way.
Ryou looked at Bakura's face. For once, that face was relaxed, without that constant scowl that seemed to be tattooed to his face. The features were softer than usual too. Ryou fell in love all over again, only by looking at Bakura's sleeping form.
How he wished that he could see Bakura look like that all the time.
Ryou turned away and closed the door behind himself. Wishes were for weaklings. They never came true anyway. If they did, he would either be in Bakura's arms or in heavens fathom.
With a deep sigh, Ryou walked down the stairs to prepare the breakfast.
Ryou were eating his cereals when Bakura stomped down the stairs with his usual scowl on his face. "Good morning, Bakura." Ryou said politely, and gave Bakura a weak smile.
Bakura merely grunted out something remotely close to 'morning', before he started munching on a piece of bread and some cereal.
Not a word to thank him. Well, what could he expect. Bakura didn't do politeness. He expected the food to be there. If it wasn't, then it would be his fault.
Ryou quickly finished his meal, only the small bowl of cereal and milk, and put away the bowl, before glancing back at Bakura. The tomb robber was still eating, and seemed to be half asleep.
Suddenly, Ryou felt like he had to talk to Bakura. He needed to know...how the other felt about him. Was it only hate? Or...something else? He didn't want to be confused about it anymore.
"Bakura?" He said hesitantly, and turned around to face his darker counterpart completely.
"Hn?" Bakura grunted, and glanced up from his cereals. His brown eyes looked dull and uninterested, but deep within them, Ryou could make out a little curiosity.
"M-May I ask you something?" Ryou managed to say, with a very weak voice.
Bakura rose one eyebrow, and then ate another spoon with cereal. "Whatever. Make it quick."
Ryou drew a deep and shaky breath. "Do...Do you remember that night in Battle City? When you duelled against Yugi in the finals, on the blimp? You know, when Marik made you loose your grip over me, when I was too hurt to move?"
"When I got hurt because both you and Marik beat me up a while before to make it look like I needed to get to the hospital so Marik could gain Yugi's trust? When you two almost killed me?" He added silently inside his head. He didn't want to remember that.
"Yeah, so?" Bakura shrugged, and kept eating.
Another deep breath. "Why did you save me? You could have let Slifer attack me instead...and let it kill me..." He swallowed, remembering the pain and fear that he had felt while kneeling on that platform to see the gigantic dragon in front of him, ready to attack.
And then the sharp and familiar tug on his mind that sent him out of his body, to watch Bakura control it and call to Yugi to attack him instead. It was then that he had started to wonder about his feelings for Bakura.
"Yami and Yugi would have attacked eventually...I'm quite sure...and then I probably would have died."
Bakura looked up, seemingly surprised. "Isn't that obvious? I need you, Ryou." Ryou's heart fluttered with hope, and a slight blush crept up to his cheeks.
Then, Bakura spoke again. "Let that midget attack you and kill myself at the same time? I think not. I would be locked into the ring again. At that time, I still needed your body to live on." Ryou's heart dropped like a stone.
"...is that all?" He whispered quietly, forcing out the words.
"Of course!" Bakura said, and looked up again. An eyebrow rose curiously "What else would it have been?"
"...nothing." Ryou mumbled, and turned away to open the crane over the sink. He watched the water run over the items in the sink with blurry eyes, and fought back the tears that threatened to fall.
He heard Bakura rise behind him, and then steps moved to the door. "I'll go to Marik, to catch a ride to school. See you later, hikari." Then, the steps faded and only one minute later, the door slammed.
Ryou sank down next to the counter, and leaned his forehead against his knees. Quickly, almost like a robot, he closed his and Bakura's mindlink. Then he started shaking slightly and tears ran down his cheeks. His whole body convulsed in sobs, as he cried his already broken heart out.
What else could he have expected? That Bakura would tell him that he saved him because he was deeply and passionately in love with him? Like that would ever happen. To Bakura, Ryou was nothing; only a waste of air.
And, if he did mean something, it was only something more for Bakura to control. Something to abuse, to mistreat, to use and to hurt. A slave, nothing more. By God, how Ryou wished that it was different...all he could ever want was to be loved by Bakura. Hell, it would even be enough if the other just cared. Only slight care...
It would mean the world to Ryou.
It took Ryou fifteen minutes to stop crying, and five more minutes to get enough strength to rise from the floor and clean the table.
Slowly, Ryou walked back up the stairs to grab his briefcase before he would walk to school. A walk would surely clear his mind, and maybe lessen his depression.
The bag was put neatly just next to the door, and Ryou took it. Then he walked back towards the stairs. But, just when he was about to walk down the steps, he stopped himself. Something was pulling his gaze towards the bathroom in the end of the corridor. He told himself to keep walking, but an invisible force turned him around, and forced him to walk to the bathroom. There, he opened the cabinet over the sink.
Ryou's brown eyes fell upon the small tin with sleeping pills. There it stood, very innocently, with it's etiquette clearly shown for him.
Sleeping pills; 50 pieces. Ages 15-20. Kept out of sight and reach for children. Limit; 2 pills/ night. Overdose can cause severe internal damage, or death.
Ryou watched the tin with almost empty eyes, and licked his lips. Death. It sounded very tempting in that moment. Just take a few too many pills, and fall asleep forever. A dark and comforting darkness...just like the one he got at night. To forever walk in that darkness...to have its comforting shadow around him...no sad thoughts or worries...
A pale hand quickly grabbed the pills, and Ryou shoved the can into his pocket. Not now. He would spare them for later. Then he quickly exited the bathroom to go to school.
Outside, the sun shone brightly, reflecting its beautiful rays in Ryou's equally beautiful eyes. Though, the eyes didn't sparkle of joy, as they usually did when he was walking outside. Now, they looked empty.
Ryou's hand hesitantly sought its way down his pocket, and brushed against the small can with pills. It burned against his skin like fire, and made his heart beat faster. He could escape. In that very moment, he could escape. In his pocket, he carried the salvation to all of his worries.
Slowly, he pulled out the can and read the label again. Severe internal damage, or death. Too bad it didn't say exactly how many pills that was needed. It would be a shame to waste those heavenly pills on someone as useless as himself...
"Ryou! Hey, Ryou, wait for us!" A chirpy voice cried out behind him, and Ryou quickly turned his head and shoved the can down his pocket again.
Running up towards him, was Yugi and Yami. The shorter of them was running first, waving madly, while Yami came after and looked slightly out of breath. Ryou felt his heart twitch painfully. What would Yugi and Yami say if he killed himself? They cared so much about him...
His thoughts were interrupted by something glomping his waist tightly, almost making him fall over. For a moment, he lost his breath, before laughing lightly and hugging Yugi back.
"Hi, Yugi." Ryou looked over the hyper teen's head, and smiled warmly to Yami. "Hello, Yami."
Yami gave him a short nod, and then looked away slightly. "Hi." He mumbled. For a split second you could see a faint hue of red on his cheeks, but it disappeared in the same moment you would think you had seen it.
Yugi pulled away from Ryou, and grinned widely. "How are you, Ryou?"
Ryou's eyes got a sad look, but it disappeared in the next moment. A small smile, that seemed very forced, appeared on his face. "Ah, I'm just fine. And you?"
Yugi smiled even wider. "I feel great! Want to walk with us to school? I- no, we, would love it if you came!"
Ryou smiled sweetly, and nodded. "Sure. I'd like that..." "Especially since it might be the last time I can get the opportunity to walk with you..." He added sadly inside his head.
The three of them started walking towards school, and Yugi talked happily to Ryou, who smiled and answered politely. Yami, however, walked about two meters behind them, a weird look on his face. He seemed to be glancing at Ryou every once in a while, but tried hard to
hide it. Though, Yugi noticed it immediately. He stole a glance backwards, and then spoke through the mindlink.
((Yami? Is everything alright?))
Yami blinked, and gave a mental nod. //Yes, of course. Why wouldn't it be?//
((You're acting weird...why don't you come up and talk to us?))
Yugi felt a faint tinge of nervousness and astonishment from his darker side, and then a very hard headshake. //No. I'd rather not.//
((Why not? You've never minded walking with me and Ryou earlier...something must be wrong!))
//No! Nothing is wrong, alright? I just want to walk alone...//
((Too bad. I can see Jou over there. I'll go and greet him, and you'll keep Ryou company.)) And Yugi closed the mindlink, to run towards the blond boy who walked a few yards ahead.
Ryou smiled at seeing how Yugi flung himself into Jou's arms, happily crying out his name, just as he had done to him. The white haired boy smiled to Yami, who now had walked up to him. "What did Yugi eat for breakfast this morning?"
Yami kept his gaze steadily to his shoes. "Coco-puffs." He mumbled, not breaking his gaze from his shoes.
Ryou laughed lightly, a laugh that sounded like melodic bells of silver in the wind. "I figured it was something with sugar...I mean, all you two ever eat is sugary things, right?"
Yami didn't answer; he just kept staring at his shoes with a hard look on his face.
Ryou turned his head towards Yami at the lack of response from the other. Normally, Yami would make a joke right back at him about how it always was the hikaris who loved such things, and that yamis only ate healthy food.
But, lately, Yami had grown more an more quiet, and laidback. Sure, he wasn't a very talkative guy in the first place, but now he barely said more than two words in a sentence. Ryou missed the way Yami would laugh, make jokes with him and talk to him about everything. It was like a light in the darkness for him.
Ryou's chocolate brown eyes got a worried look in them, and he put a hand on Yami's shoulder, making them both stop. "Yami, are you alright?" He asked worriedly, and tried to catch Yami's gaze. "You seem...troubled."
Yami flinched at the light touch on his shoulder, almost like Ryou had burned him with something hot. Then he sighed. "Why do people keep asking me that? Isn't the answer already obvious, if you all can see it that clearly?" He glanced at Ryou. "No, I am not alright."
Ryou blinked. Then he looked even more worried. "What's wrong?"
Yami looked away. "It's...err...it's complicated. And...Oh, never mind, it wasn't important." He finally said, and started walking again.
Ryou frowned, and grabbed Yami's hand to make him stop again. He didn't notice the way Yami froze, and stiffened from the touch. "It must be important...if it wasn't, then you wouldn't be this troubled. Why don't you just tell me?" He smiled reassuringly. "I can keep a secret."
Yami glanced at him again. "You promise?"
Ryou nodded. "I'll bring it to the grave." "Literally."
The former pharaoh sighed. "Well...a friend of mine has a problem-"
Ryou interrupted him. "You mean, you have a problem. Seriously, Yami, those things never works."
Yami glared, and then continued. "Fine, I have a problem...you see, I...I'm...in love with someone..." With that said, Yami's cheeks coloured a deep scarlet.
Ryou blinked, and then smiled brightly. "That's great!"
Yami shook his head, and looked away. "No. Because the person doesn't like me...he likes someone else." The red eyes of Yami darkened. "I envy that man with all of my heart...and I hate him with every essence of my soul."
Ryou blinked. He had never heard Yami talk like that. And he had never seen such a look in Yami's eyes; a look of pure hate and anger.
He put a soothing hand on Yami's shoulder. "Calm down, Yami. How do you know that the person you like is in love with someone else?"
Yami sighed, and stared down at his shoes. "I can tell. Every time he looks at him, his eyes starts to shine, and he smiles. Within seconds, he just looks so happy." A tear slipped down Yami's cheek. "And it's so unfair! That man doesn't deserve his love! All he does is hurting the one I love, by not even caring about him. And I see how much it hurts...but no one else does. I just...it...I just wish that I could make him feel better..."
Ryou smiled softly. "Why don't you tell him how you feel then? It maybe would make him happy..."
"Because it wouldn't make a difference. And...if he truly loves that other guy...I don't want to come in the way. He deserves all happiness in the world...even if he gets it with someone else but me." Yami's eyes looked sad, and he stared down at his shoes.
Ryou was quiet for a second. Then he wrapped his arms around Yami's neck, and held him close. "Anyone would be lucky to have you as his or hers boyfriend, Yami. I don't know anyone else that would make such a sacrifice for the one they love." He pulled away again, and smiled brightly. "I hope that you will be together with the one you love. You deserve it."
Yami's cheeks carried a small blush, and he stared down at Ryou who still held his arms lightly around his neck. "Ryou...I..."
"Guys! Come on, we're gonna be late for school!" Yugi screamed ahead of them, and started dragging Jou towards the school building while looking at them over his shoulder.
"We're coming!" Ryou shouted back, and turned back to Yami. "Come on, lets go."
Yami shook his head, and carefully moved away Ryou's arms from his neck. "You...you go before me. I want to be alone for a while...and think."
Ryou blinked, and then nodded back with a smile. "Sure. But don't be late." And then, Ryou ran after Yugi to walk with him and Jou.
Yami followed him with his gaze for a while, and then sighed. "I love you, Ryou." He said quietly, and walked slowly after the other three.End chapter
(1) Okay, I know that didn't happen, but just pretend that it happened, okay?
Yup, that's the first chapter!
Well...did you like it? I hope so...I enjoyed writing it anywho.
Ah, and if you know which episode I was talking about that inspired this story, tell me so! Because, I must know if it was just me, or was Bakura really worried about Ryou? It looked like it...well, tell me if you saw it! And what you thought of the implied slash...
Now, do me a favour, you wonderful people! Review and tell me what you thought! I love long reviews, and constructive things. But, save me the flames. They are just unnecessary. If you dislike the story, just ignore reviewing to save you and me some time. For the rest of you…REVIEW:D
Love you all heaps!
-The Blonde Midget