AN: Hello everybody! This is SasuNaru Fan XDDD! Some of you may know me as one of your trusted reviewers. If you do, then you'd know that I have never flamed anyone, and I don't expect to be flamed (If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all). But that doesn't mean that I don't welcome critiques. It's just that this is my first attempt at fanfiction and I don't want to be discouraged from doing this again. This story will probably be a two-shot.

More important AN: I don't really like these couples, so few, if any of them will be in this story: ItaNaru, ItaSasu, NejiHina (Incest sickens me), ChoIno, ShinoShika, ShinoKiba, NaruSaku, SasuSaku, LeeSaku (I don't like Sakura at all, but neither do most SasuNaru fans), GaiLee, GaaLee, GaaNeji (Gaara's mine glares), GaaHina (seriously, where did that couple come from, cause I don't see it) KakaIru (I just don't think that he's gay), or SasuHina (do we really want to see some retard kid with messed up eyes containing some crack baby mix of the Sharingan and the Byakugan?) If you don't like, turn away now.

Disclaimer: I'll write a disclaimer when Masashi Kishimoto comes to my house and asks me to


The announcer climbs onto the podium as the auction begins. "And the first person up to bid is Nara Shikamaru.

A man of about 15 gets poofed on a stage. "WTF! How did I get here?"

One of the workers whispers to him, "You're getting auctioned off for a week as part of a Konoha fundraiser. All of the male ninja were considered and a few of the finalists were randomly chosen."

Shikamaru sighed. "So troublesome…"

The announcer continued. "This man has an IQ of over 200, was the youngest in his class to become Chuunin, and his ultimate goal is to marry a woman who's not too pretty and not too ugly. Ladies, let's snatch him up while we still have the chance! Let's start the bidding at 75 dollars-


Okay that's 75 dollars from… Temari of the sand! Okay do I hear 80-

"80 dollars"

That's 80 dollars from… Yamanaka Ino?! Wait, don't you like… whatever. Do I hear –"

"85" (T)

"100" (I)

"150" (T)

"200" (I)

"250" (T)

"400 dollars" (I)

"Four hundred dollars, now that's what I'm talking about! Do I hear 410?" said the announcer. There was a pause. Temari didn't have all that money on her.

"Well," the announcer continued, "I guess selling flowers is a profitable business. 400 dollars going once, going twice, sold for 400 dollars!" Ino led Shikamaru away, him muttering all the while, "so troublesome."

"Now that that's over, let's move on to our next offer, Uzumaki Naruto!"

A peculiarly orange ninja was poofed in, and by the looks of it, he had just been training. Looking around and dropping his kunai to his side, he yelled out, "Alright, who brought me here? Show yourself!" After everything was explained to him twice, he enthusiastically said, "All Right! I'm going to make twice as much as anyone else. Believe it!"

"Okaaaaaay" the announcer said. "Now, this boy is one of the best ninjas at his level, has studied under one of the legendary Sennin, has dreams of being Hokage, and no matter how old he gets, he's always so adorable with those big blue eyes. Now let's start the bidding at 75 dollars."


"Okay, how about at 50 dollars?"

By now, Naruto was starting to get nervous, until he spotted Sakura amongst the crowds. "Come on, Sakura, you're not going to bid on me - wait hey don't hide from me, I know you can hear me!"

"Then how about-" but the announcer was cut off when someone with a cell phone in hand whispered something in his ear. The announcer continued. "Well, it appears that we have a phone bid for Mr. Uzumaki for 500 dollars. Since no one else is bidding I'll-"

"S-six hundred"

"Wow!" the announcer said. "We have 600 dollars from… Hyuuga Hinata!"(AN: Hinata was there the whole time, but was to shy to bid on Naruto until someone else did)

"The guy bidding over the phone said 1000, sir" said the guy from before. Naruto gulped when he heard the word, "guy."

"F-fifteen hundred"

"The guy said 2000"

"Th-three thousand"

"The guy said 5000"

"S-seventy five hundred"

Everyone waited for the mystery guy to bid.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the Sound village,

"…7500?! You just tell them I said 10 thou-"

At this very moment, Orochimaru came in. "Sasuke, what are you doing on my cell phone?! You know I already used up all of my minutes! Get off now!"



Sighing, Sasuke hung up the phone.

"Okay, 7500 going once, going twice, sold to Hyuuga Hinata. Claim your prize!"

Naruto glomped Hinata as soon as he was let go. "Thanks, Hinata, but why did you pay so much for me? Hinata? HINATA?!" During Naruto's speech, Hinata blushed, and then fainted. Naruto carried her to her seat, and continued trying to wake her up.

"For our next offer we ask that no one under 18 make a bid. Now, without further adieu, we bring you Hatake Kakashi!"

Kakashi was then poofed in, but he was too deep in his little orange book to notice or care.

"Now this man is one of the highest level jonin in our village, he'll protect anyone he loves with his life, and he probably gets a lot of ideas from Icha Icha. If that's not enough, then look at his ass! Let's start the bidding at 500 dollars."


Okay, so that's 500 dollars from Anko? Great, now do I hear 600?


"We have 1000 from Kurenai"

"Wait a damn minute here!" Asuma said. Kurenai had dragged him there and now she was gonna bid on Kakashi?! "What about me?!"

"Sorry," said Kurenai. "But you heard what the announcer said. I mean have you seen his ass?!"

The announcer continued. "Can I hear 1500?"

"1500" (A)

"2000" (K)

"2500" (A)

With that, Kurenai was out. "Okay 2500 going once, going twice-"


"5000! 5000 going once, going twice, sold to… Umino Iruka?!"

Iruka grabbed Kakashi and dragged him to their seats, causing Kakashi to drop his Icha Icha Paradise book. Surprisingly enough, it was Iruka that picked it up and handed it to Kakashi. 'It might give him some ideas' Iruka thought, fighting back a blush.

"Our next person up to bid is sure to bring out the big bucks. Now, for the first time in 2 years, let me present to you Uchiha Sasuke!" Needless to say, the following fangirl screams could deafen all of Konoha, and they had just gotten over the headaches too…" The needed hand signs were done and Sasuke was poofed into the room.

"…I don't care if it will make me stronger; I'm not taking my pants off… WHERE THE HELL AM I?!"

After it was explained to him, it took several ANBU to restrain him. He didn't need much introduction, so the announcer just started off. "Do I hear 75-"





(Several hours later)

The money got so high that the girls in the 'Sasuke WILL Come Back Club' had to pair up and then group up to compete. In the end, Sasuke was sold to a group of 10 fan girls for a combined total of 2543 dollars and 79 cents. The rabid fan girls didn't need the ANBU's help in restraining Sasuke. They had his arms bound so that he couldn't perform any jutsu, and were each now fantasizing about how to spend their own special time with him.

"Okay, our next person up is… Subaku no Gaara!"

Gaara was then poofed into the room. Temari had to explain everything to him, seeing as he killed or injured anyone else who came within arm's reach. He then went on to say "This makes no sense. I'm not even from Konahagure." He shrugged it off and went along with it.

"Gaara is the Kazekage of Suna, and he's got that 'bad boy' attitude that all the girls love. So who's going to be the first one to break his rock-hard sand-shell? Let's start the bidding at 75 dollars."


"Do I hear 85?"








"1000 dollars"

"1000 dollars going once, going twice, sold to the Mystery girl!"

A loud "Yatta!" was heard as a girl of 14 who suspiciously resembled the author made her way to the front.

"I'll kill you," said Gaara

"Umm, cookie?" said the Mystery girl cough author cough.

"Yatta!" Gaara said and glomped her.

"Okay," the announcer said, "The last person up is… Rock Lee!

Rock Lee was then poofed in. after they explained everything to him, he exclaimed, "Yosh! This auction is so wonderful and full of youth! I can't wait to share my youthfulness with all of Konohagure!"

"Rock Lee is enthusiastic, hard working, honest, and truthful, so you know that he'll never cheat on you. Shall we start the bidding at 75 dollars?"


"Okay, how about 50?"

More silence


(You guessed it) Even more silence

"Okay sweatdrop" said the announcer. The announcer wasn't happy about this. The village really needed the money. Then an idea struck. The announcer walked over to Rock Lee and whispered, "Lee, can you please take off your shirt for the lovely ladies of Konohagure? It will show off your er youthfulness."

Lee replied with a "Yosh, I'll do anything for the power of youth!" and he proceeded to take of his shirt, inciting many nosebleeds from the audience.

"Now," the announcer said. "Do I hear-"




A few minutes later, it was between Sakura, who suddenly realized how much she loved Lee when she saw his exposed chest, and Tenten, who wile she still liked Neji, was temporarily blinded by the muscles before her.

"500" (S)

"dramatic pose with tears The lotus that is the love between Sakura and I has finally bloomed!"

"550" (T)

"dramatic pose with tears (again) Yosh! I am honored by the love of everybody! This whole room is full of youth!"

"600" (S)

"Okay," the announcer said after the slight pause. "600 going once, going twice,"

"Wait!" Tenten said. "Can I pay in kunai?"

"Sorry, but cash only. Okay, 600 dollars going once, going twice, sold to Ms. Haruno!"

"Yosh, Sakura! I am moved by your youthfulness and-" But Lee was cut off when Sakura put her hand to his mouth.

"If I throw in 5 bucks, can you duct tape his mouth for me?" Sakura asked.

"Sure," the announcer said, and sighs of silent relief went throughout the crowd.

Well, that's our auction. Have a safe trip and get out!

Hey everybody! It's me again! I hope you liked it, because I used up a whole day writing it. Review please! If you review enough, I'll post chapter 2, which tells what happened after everybody leaves. And If I get more, I'll write one where the girls get auctioned off. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Well, that's it, so-