Physicals 2.0

Declaimer: Are you kidding me (again)?! I can't even pronounce the name of the dude who makes these! But I do luv Ed!!! He be so FUNNY!!! Ally too!

Warning: Language, underage sex, yummy lemony smut, short jokes, butts.

Lol. Right now I'm typing this on my laptop in my grandparent's car on my way to their house. It's really far away, though. Since my laptop isn't plugged in, the screen is really dark so please forgive me for making any errors. It also sucks because the screen is too dark for me to watch the movies I brought! It's sad because I just got the seventh disk of the FMA anime!!! I want to watch it so bad, but I have to wait for a few hours. So I decided to update Physicals. Since we're out in the middle of nowhere and I don't have an internet connection, I can't see if I got five good reviews. So I'll just have faith in people! For some reason, the only one that's working on my laptop is Carrie and I can't even watch that twice in a row! It rules, man, but it freaks me out! Nightmares!

PS: Sorry for making Al kinda like a perv in the end of the last one, but I just couldn't resist! Besides, he's only human too. (Or…whatever.) Oh! And because of the COMPLAINTS OF ONE READER, this is OOC…but I bet everyone already knew that.

A light snow had begun to fall in the winter wonderland of Central. Not the happy cheery 'I'll Be Home for Christmas' 'Jingle Bells' snow, though. No, if anything, it was a rather quite amusing kind of snow.

This year the feur (or however you spell it) had ordered that Central be a happy cheery place, because that's how Christmas is supposed to be. But it was most likely that this was just to attract new recruits. "Make state alchemists look more spirited and cheerful than they really are and maybe we can attract some who we can send off to war!" Was what the memo really meant, if you read between the lines, when it was passed out this year, instead of, "Christmas time is almost here! Go show your Christmas cheer by decorating and being kind! "

Transmuted reefs hung on every street lamp, unnatural and disfigured. Shiny tinsel hung on windows, warding off birds with how sharp and jagged they were. The luminescent un-Christmas like colors o the lights that hung on all the doorways looked rather silly in pink and puke green, further proving that alchemy isn't the answer to everything.

Just like all of the other office buildings, the medical ward was decorated in scary tinsel and seizure causing lights. From the double doors of the entrance way in the medical ward burst out a short blonde-haired boy, attempting to run and slip his arms through a red jacket at the same time.

As soon as Ed was out of the Medical Ward, a burst of cold air hit him head on, making him gasp. He didn't stop to warm up, though, choosing instead to trudge through the white mess as fast as he could. His weight as he ran pushed his boots past the devastating inches of snow that had formed while he was getting his physical.

The Full Metal Alchemists face was flushed pink from the cold winter wind and embarrassment as he blindly ran through the wetness. Passing the random bundled up person and/or squirrel; he began to slow as he reached a bench. It was covered in snow and made his butt wet when he sat down, but he was able to breath and think about the events that transpired during his time at the Medical Ward.

Roy-the colonel- had…touched him…in ways he'd never been touched before. All through the physical Edward hadn't been able to relax or concentrate in the least bit with Roy making perverted comments every few minutes. It was even more humiliating because of the fact that his little brother had been in the room to witness the entire affair.

Reaching into a deep warm pocket, he pulled out a thin white pair of gloves. He slipped these over his hands-finding they were no warmer than being without gloves-and held the freezing limbs in front of his face, breathing on them. He watched his breath slip out between his fingers in white plumes.

"You look cold."

Ed practically yelped, almost getting whip lash from the speed he looked up at the other man. Their noses were touching. Those deep blue eyes staring deep into his light almond ones. A soft gloved hand brushed his cheek, making it warm from his both his blush and the shared body heat. He felt Roy's face slip past his, his dark hair tickling the young boy's cheek.

"But I can warm you up."

His hot breath so close to the blonds made Ed shiver. Roy noticed a few goose bumps here and there.

"What's wrong, Eddo? Squirrel got your tongue? They can do that y'know."

A hand slid down his right side, squeezing lightly. A pair of soft lips found his ear, kissing and nibbling lightly. His fuzzy mind wondered if this could be considered foreplay if he wasn't participating.

Suddenly Ed was snapped out of the hormone induced trance he'd been in. "What the hell are you trying to do?!" He growled, grabbing a handful of Roy's uniform jacket and pushing him away. "And what the hell was wrong with you back there?! You bastard! That was my little brother! I'll never be able to look him in the eye again!"

Roy straightened up, smoothing out the creases in his thick blue coat. That smirk sent chills up Ed's spine. "Really? You seemed pretty happy when I was jerking you off back there. Besides," He sat next to Ed and put his arm around the reluctant boy. "You owe me one."


"For giving you a hand job. You owe me."




"Oh come on." Roy slipped an arm around Ed and nuzzled the younger boy's neck. "You know you want to. And if you can help me…maybe I'll help you have you too."

Ed blushed deeply, tempted to make a snide comment. But that might make Roy get up…and he was sooo warm…

Roy helped Ed up by grabbing his arm. A short tug had the boy's nose buried in his lower chest. "Wow, Ed." He murmured, stroking the boys golden hair. "You are short."


Roy sat on his desk, grinning mischievously at Ed. He was rubbing himself through his pants, getting really hard, as the young alchemist stared.


"Come here, Full Metal."

Ed made his way to the desk Roy was seated on with shaky legs. With a motion from the Fire Alchemist, he knelt down between the others open legs.


"Shhh. It's ok. Just do what I tell you to do."


"Good boy." Roy gently patted the top of Edward's soft hair. "Ok, baby. Undue my pants." With a shaky and very unsteady hand, Ed reached up and pulled down the copper zipper of Roy's uniform pants. He felt soft hands running through his hair smoothly, pulling it down so that his nose was rubbed against the material of Roy's boxers. Roy moaned. Ed felt something between his legs begin to stir.

"Y'know Mustang, I'm only doing this because you helped me. I wouldn't normally…"

"Your point?"

"As soon as I do this, I'm leaving."

"Less talky more sucky." Roy pressed Ed into his bulging crotch again and the boy struggled for air, needing both arms to push away from the man. "Suffocate me, why doncha?" He growled. "Well you weren't doing it right." The other alchemist said innocently. "Fine! Whatever! We do it your way!" Suddenly Ed was getting very awkward and…horny.

Roy helped him out a little by pulling his erection out from behind his red boxers and letting it plop out for the younger boy. He still had a good hold on the back of the Full Metal Alchemist's head and used it to prompt the boy forward with a few pushes. A blush tinted Ed's cheeks ever so slightly and he brought the head of Roy's large erection into his mouth. Roy moaned and ran his fingers through Edward's soft hair, trying to make him take more gently by pressing the boys face into him. Ed let this be done, sliding his mouth down along the others length slowly, until he took in as much as he could.

Ed was crouching down in a slightly uncomfortable position and gave Roy a look that said, 'Move…or else I won't blow you you insensitive bastard.' Roy nodded, lying down on the desk and letting Ed lay between his legs. Ed took the erection into his mouth again, watching Roy's face closely for his reaction as he tried different things, bobbing his head, and licking the tip roughly. Roy moaned deeply and grabbed handfuls of the boy's hair. Ed's face when Roy began to control him was priceless, his eyes bulging and looking up at Roy curiously. Roy smirked.

"Your mouth is so warm, Full Metal…and wet…I wonder, do you feel like that?"

Roy pulled Ed up into his lap, moaning when his erection rubbed against the boys smooth leather pants. Edward gasped and let the Roy lay him down on top of himself. They kissed. It was like the kiss from earlier, heated and…wet. When they broke away, a thin trail of saliva connected their lips for a moment before it was broken.

"What now?" Ed whispered his voice slightly horse. Roy smiled and slipped his fingers over the waistband of the boy's tight leather pants, peeling them down along with his underwear, exposing the boys pale thighs. He was happy to see just how horny he'd made the boy before he even did anything.

"You'll figure it out as we go along."

"What?! Tell me what you're gonna do to me, you perv!"

The Fire Alchemist smirked and brought one single finger to his lips, licking it and watching the boys eyes bulge again.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Making lube."

Ed blushed a little. "What for?" Could Roy's smirk get any bigger? "To stretch you out." Had Edward heard him right? "What?!" For some reason Roy had brought the finger behind Ed and-Ed yelped, the muscles of his hole clenching around the digit that was invading his virgin entrance.

"Relax, babe." He purred, rubbing Ed's lower back in an attempt to make him loosen up. "I-I can't." Edward whimpered, sounding weak and humble despite himself. "It hurts." A few tears of shame and embarrassment dripped down his chin as Roy added another finger and began to scissor his tiny pink opening. "R-Roy! Stop!"

"Shh. Its ok, love. It'll only hurt at first. I'll make you feel good, though." He allowed the boy to fall forward and lay down on his chest, rubbing just along his lower back. The young boy's muscles began to relax and Roy could feel his muscles getting less tense under his fingers.

Roy switched their positions, expertly teasing the younger alchemist's nipples into hardness while Ed moaned and panted hornily beneath him. "Oh R-Roy!" Ed gasped out as Roy began to pump his fingers in and out of the boy's tight wet hole.

It was hot inside the Full Metal Alchemist and Roy let out a little moan. This was soon joined by Ed when one of Roy's wandering fingers touched a spot inside the boy that made him shudder and buck his hips up. "Oh R-Roy!!!" He gasped. "That one was good! Again!" ((I just wanna say that I'm really not trying to make it in character because…well…let's face it, Ed's straight. So please don't flame me because it's OC like SOMONE because it's fan FICTION. That is all.))

The Flame Alchemist chuckled at the others pathetic pleas. Instead of obeying him, Roy pulled his now sticky fingers out from the protesting muscles of Ed's bum, whilst listening to the protests of Ed himself. He flipped Ed, once again, so that his face was in the many papers scattered across Roy's desk, quieting his adorable wines. Roy pressed the engorged head of his member in between the boy's cheeks, teasing him with a few shallow thrusts that didn't penetrate. With the memory of that wonderful feeling of Roy touching his prostate still fresh in his groin, Ed whimpered and rocked back, trying to get his fill of Roy.

The colonel sighed and, stroking the boy's thigh softly, pushed past the hard ring of muscles around his entrance. The head was in, but he Ed cried out when Roy tried to push more in.

"W-wait Roy! It hurts!"

"Of course it does, Full Metal. I'm putting my huge dick in your tiny…tight…oh yeah…"

"R-Roy?! Bastard!"

Roy slowly pushed past the boy's hot tight tunnel, feeling the muscles protest and give way as he went. A few seconds later he was on his knees totally seated to the balls inside Ed, his hands on the boy's thighs for support. Ed cried out and began wiggling about, whimpering. "Hold still, Edward." Roy growled. "You'll get used to it."

There was a few seconds of quiet besides the soft whimpers Ed made. When the whimpers stopped, Roy pulled out until nothing of his erection but the pink head was inside, and then pushed in using all his weight. Edward tensed up, then moaned as the same fiery tingly sensation from before filled his lower regions, making him cry out softly.

Roy pulled out again, attempting to find a rhythm while balancing both his and his ukes weight on his knees. Ed pushed himself up on his hands to try and make the man go deeper and moaned loudly when he did. Ed's tiny hole was so tight, Roy growled when he pushed in all the way, feeling the boy tremble underneath him. A few papers flew off the hard wood desk and hit the floor when Roy sped up. Edward cried out when the Flame Alchemist found his prostate again…and again and again…They set up a comfortable rocking pattern and soon Ed pushed back against the other man when he pulled out.

Ed was crying out so loud that Roy was almost sure it could be heard all the way from the front desk. He pushed down on the boys golden head, silencing all but the whimpers. "Shut up, Edward." "S-sorry." He whimpered back. "I c-can't help it."

Roy flipped the boy over so he could see his face, his eyes squeezed tight, his cheeks flushed, and his mouth hanging open to moan and cry out the older man's name. "Roy…" He had to hide his face in the man's chest to muffle the noise. "Having fun?" Roy chuckled, bending his head to lick a drop a sweat off the boy's neck.

The younger alchemist could only nod weakly as his colonel thrust

deeply in his channel, filling him with that velvet-wrapped steel. The

strength of them jerked his whole body into the sway motion of up and down,

up and down. He could feel the coil winding up tighter in his stomach,

building with each wave of pleasure as Roy pumped into his hot, tight

young arse. He felt a set a blunt teeth nip at his neck, followed by a

rough tounge to sooth the sting.

Roy's sweat drenched ebony hair stuck to his pale forehead as his

spearing thrusts became frantic and wild, varying in depth and strength as

his shaft slammed into Ed's virgin entrance and struck his sweet spot

every time. A hand snaked around the blond's waist and deft fingers

encircled his manhood and began to pump erratically. He whimpered, the

pleasure overwhelming him from both sides. His hips jerked back and forth,

unable to decide whether to push down to meet the hard flesh peircing

him, or jerk forward into the warm, clever fingers caressing his shaft


His lover chuckled at his plight, dispite his growing pleasure as he

slammed into his younger subordinate. "Little trouble there, Edward?"

Even with his legs spread wide and his commanding officer pounding into

him, Edward managed to look disgruntled.

"Who... are you... calling... little...?" He tried to growl, but it

came out as more of a mewl.

"Oh, I wouldn't call you 'little' at all, Ed." Roy smirked, his hand

tightening around his uke's member, "Not where it counts."

Edward just whined, unable to carry on a conversation with a long,

thick rod rocking into him and whipping away all thought. Roy fell silent

too, and the office was quiet except for the moans and grunts of the two

lovers, and the squeaking of the desk below them.

Roy let out a long, sensuous moan and rested their sweaty, shining

foreheads together. He could feel his completion building in his groin, and

his muscles tensed as he tried to hold on for that much longer. Ed was

writhing beneath him, teetering on the edge, delirious with pleasure.

That pleasure rushed up to meet him, and he gasped out,

"Ed... I'm almost..."

"...Un... ah! Y-yes... Roy..."

The blond let out a high pitched keen as his over took him, a white

flash of pleasure sending him into delicious spasms of bliss. His

entire body shook violently as his seed splattered all over Roy's hand and

stomach. The towering colonel slammed in one last time, and let out a

hoarse cry of "EDWARD!" as he came into the tight crevice, shooting his

pearly seed deep into his uke's arse. The pair trembled together for a

long moment, floating in their afterglow.

Roy finally collapsed, making sure to fall to the right of the petite

boy beneath him. Calming down, he contented himself with gazing at the

blond next to him. Ed's pale chest heaved up and down covered with his

own sticky release. His long, silky blond hair had come undone from it's

usual braid, flaming his face like a halo. His golden eyes, normally

so sharp and peircing, were hazy and cloud post-coital, and a small

half-grin settled about his mouth.

He was beautiful. He drew him into his arms, their bodies fitting

together like sweaty, sticky and completely sated puzzle peices. The little

angel snuggled into his embrace, resting his head on his slippery


Then, of course, he opened his mouth.

"So, what happened to 'leaving as soon as we're done'?" he smirked,

poking fun.

Ed's head shot up, glaring at the older man. Genuine hurt shone in his

golden eyes before he masked it with anger.

"S-shut up, bastard!" he couldn't quite hide the tremble in his voice,

and Roy spotted tears at the edges of his gorgeous eyes as he jerked

out of his arms and turned to gather his clothes that were strewn about

the room. The colonel reached after him, pulling the firey boy into an

embrace and trapping his struggling arms at his sides. "Let me g-go, you

bastard colonel! LET ME GO!"

"FULLMETAL! FullMe - Ed, calm down, please... I don't want you to


The alchemist blinked at him, looking surprised.

"You don't?"

"No. I want you to stay... please, stay."

Ed growled. "Make up your mind, bastard!" Never the less, he settled

back down against the officer's chest. Roy stroked a hand through

tangled, silky golden locks.

After a few minutes, Ed mumbled something incoherent. Roy raised an

eyebrow. "What? Speak up, FullMetal."

"Did... did you mean it? You, you w-want me to stay... like, for good?"

he asked timidly.

The flame alchemist's onxy eyes softened. "Yes, Edward. I will keep you

as long as I can have you."

A sweet, rosy blush spread across Ed's cheeks and he buried his face

into Roy's neck, and whispered into his ear,

"Merry Christmas, Bastard."

"Merry Christmas, brat."

'Ello people! Sorry it took me so long to finish! I've been on vacation ALL OVER andI couldn't even think up the ending to my own story! So my beta ScathingSarcasm with her awesomy betaness powers stepped in and added a cute/angsty/sexy ending of hotness to a too long story. You'll know it's her writing it when the words start to be spelled wrong and the grammar get's horrible. Lol. JK. I could never write anything so good so a tip o'da hat to sarcasm. I really don't know what else to type here other than be sure to look out for more slashy stories of Ed and Roy and that I'm always open to suggestions. So if anyone has a good idea, just PM me or my agent…as soon as I get one…The squirrels are watching! Until next time! Thanks Sarcasm! Oh! And if you get the time and wanna read some good stories, check out her page. I couldn't have done it without you! ((But she thinks my obsession with squirrels is weird-to which I give a spit out o' my tongue!))