AN: Why is it that all I can ever seem to write are chapters for this? Ugh. Anyways. It'll have to do for now- I haven't been in a writing mood for a while.


.:Why are you still here…?:.


And in the exciting world of Naruto, Naruto was a fox with orange-ish ears that radiated in the sunlight like big, shiny oranges. Kyuubi, the huge fox thing inside of him, laughed for no reason.

I love you, kit, it said in nice bold font. Why bold font? Nobody knows. And why was Naruto always being called "kit" by the hairy pushover? Well…that's a secret that only I know. I love you with every ounce of my big, hairy being. Even if I technically am not a physical being, but a demon sealed within your belly. Why Isn't there ever food floating through here? Hmm…

Naruto gasped in a fox-like manner. "You do love me? Oh, Kyuubi! I don't know where I learned your name, but do you think you could help me? See that kid over there?"

Over there was across there street. And across the street was Sasuke, sitting on a bench with fluffy, black kitty ears. Naruto grinned like the foxy fox that he was. "That kitty cat looks at me sometimes. I think he shall be my mate! But oh, Kyuubi, how do I tell him?"

Don't! Kyuubi mumbled. Just fuck him. He'll understand.

"You're so brilliant!" Naruto squealed. "I'm so glad we suddenly became friends that love each other!"

Yes, Kyuubi said. Now I shall wondrously appear in the mortal world as a hermaphrodite and take your childish virginity!

Naruto did not even get the chance to gasp or whatnot before Kyuubi appeared before him. He/she/it was so neat looking, words could not describe! But it was scary- very scary, with large fangs, pointed ears, and red shiny eyes. Those are the best kind of eyes.

Then it pinned Naruto against a random tree (Trees are the best pinning material) and began kissing him and all of that happy-crappy. Of course, Naruto was not amused nor happy nor entertained by any of this. He wanted to go home! Wasn't there someone who could save him from this ugly, hermaphroditic monster?

Just then, Sasuke stopped licking himself and saw Naruto being molested by the weird looking thing. "Hey, no one touches my dobe!" he meowed (Oh, by the way, is dobe some kind of code word or something?), and leaped from the bench with super awesome kitty-speed that would never exist in real life but no one really cares so WHATEVER.

Then he scratched Kyuubi a few times with his kitty cat claws and defeated him heroically, killing him and thus saving Naruto's virginity.

That is, until he took it, and they had lots and lots of strange looking fox-cat babies. Most of them died though. It was kinda sad.


AN: No, I do not have a life. Thanks for asking, though.

More cliches to come:

Hot/cold scenarios

Rich Sasuke/ Poor Naruto

Mafia-gang leader Sasuke/ homeless-prostitute Naruto


More? Just tell me!