By Sakura Uchiha
Summary: When a practical joke goes wrong, Tenten isn't sure whether she's glad or annoyed. Oneshot NejiTen
A/N: I was hesitant to post this, mainly because I am not exactly a big fan of this couple. It's not that I don't like them, I just don't care that much. But I came across a fun representation of them in a fic I was reading and thought I'd try my hand. On top of that, I desperately need a break from SasuSaku but am hard-pressed to find another fandom I am interested enough in at the moment to bother writing for. In short... er, well. I dunno. Enjoy and let me know if I got the dynamic of their relationship horribly wrong or not. PLEASE REVIEW! Oh yeah, and one more thing: this is probably the most... er, sexual fic I have ever written, so if it seems a bit tame, you'll have to forgive me. I'm not one for smut so that's another count against me here.
Killjoys, that's what they were. The whole bunch of them.
Tenten crossed her arms and stuck out her bottom lip, looking not unlike Konohamaru when he didn't get his way. Her childish pout was due to the men in the debriefing session with her, who were a little too focused on the ninja aspect of their lives, in her own not-so-humble opinion. 'What about a little fun?!' She screeched inwardly. Being the only woman on this mission was bad, not just because it was hard to explain to men why she had to carry several industrial-sized chocolate bars around on missions, but because the men of Konoha were just... so... boring.
She sighed dejectedly, looking around at her teammates. There was Sasuke who was still not exactly a barrel of laughs. Her gaze traveled to Shikamaru, who was currently beginning to doze off, his eyelids drooping and his cigarette balancing precariously on his lips. No fun there, either. With Ino and Temari constantly battling for his affection (a few times it had gotten bloody) he was not predisposed to hanging around with women. Then of course there was Gaara, who looked like someone had just died, as usual, and of course, Neji. The biggest killjoy of all.
Her glare returned with a vengeance when her mahogany eyes set on Neji, who was currently listening intently to Tsunade as she elucidated his part of the mission. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration and he nodded intermittently, his long hair swishing with the movement.
He was so anal retentive, Tenten wouldn't have been fazed if he had a nervous breakdown in a year or two. She almost laughed, imagining him tearing out his hair that she often envied and running around squawking like a demented chicken.
He took notes in some special language he'd made up so that they couldn't be intercepted and even from here Tenten could see the strange hieroglyph-like writing gracing the harsh white paper. Now you just couldn't get more anal-retentive than that. Taking notes for a stupid and insultingly simple mission? Really, there wasn't much to forget. Go to inn. Find criminal posing as diplomat. Kill said criminal. What was there to escape anyone's memory? Even someone like Naruto, who was synonymous with words like "clumsy" and "walking disaster" could keep track of the steps for this mission.
Seriously, it was like he had his period all the time or something. He really needed to let loose; live a little, and at least experience some sort of fun. Though it occurred to Tenten that not only did she sound disturbingly reminiscent of Naruto but also that Neji probably took his pleasure from scaring everyone around him to death all the time and reducing even Sasuke to a witless bundle of nerves on his bad days. Both thoughts made her heart sink and she consequently slumped in her seat, feeling the weight of her boredom combined with an escalating frustration force her lower into her seat.
"Apparently Tenten is not pleased with the mission." Neji's cool voice pierced Tenten and she forced herself awake. She must have fallen asleep. She glanced sideways at Shikamaru who was well into dreamland and she stared witheringly at Neji. Of course he'd pick on her. Neji met her gaze easily and without fear, maddening Tenten even more, if possible.
The session ended and Tenten practically flew out of the building, eager to get to her friends and away from that asshole. She released a series of odd snarling noises, which didn't quell the anger, and made it to Ichiraku without killing anyone. Barely.
Sakura was the only sane one in the village anymore, Tenten thought disappointedly as she spotted her friend in a booth towards the back with Naruto. She waved limply, feeling fatigued from all her anger. She'd never been good with dealing with rage. She always got all worked up over something, only to find that there really was no reason to be worked up and no outlet for her built-up rage.
"Sorry I'm late. Neji wanted to keep us all late to go over the mission again since Shikamaru and I both fell asleep." Tenten laughed apologetically as she sat down with the blond and the medic nin. Sakura rolled her eyes and Naruto snorted.
"That guy is wound up tighter than Sasuke bastard." He pointed at his head and made circles with his index finger while he crossed his eyes. Tenten let out a laugh, Naruto at least understood. Sakura rolled her eyes and swatted at Naruto.
"At least he's trying. You on the other hand can't even keep it together enough to make your own ramen."
"Shut up!" Naruto whined. He turned away from Sakura and to Tenten. He had a glint in his cerulean eyes that Tenten wasn't sure if she liked yet or not. It still seemed too fishy.
"You know what he needs?"
"...What?" Tenten asked warily, eying the blond.
"A practical joke! Just something simple, nothing too mean, just-"
"NARUTO!" Sakura yelled, kicking the fox ninja.
"What? Don't tell me you're defending Neji."
The two bantered on, and Tenten was left to sit and ponder. It was a good idea... Her lips curled into a smirk as she pictured Neji covered in raw eggs, or perhaps Neji with all his precious hair cut off. Ooh, or better yet, Neji drunk... She covered her mouth to mask evil giggling. It was just too good. Her former rage morphed into an evil calculating deviance that could rival that of Itachi. Yes. Yes, she would get Neji back for being such a spoilsport. She had to keep from throwing back her head and cackling maniacally whilst rubbing her hands together. It was such a good idea, she couldn't believe she hadn't thought of it before. She would have to send Naruto some sort of gift basket.
Her plan was simple yet effective. Years of being highly trained afforded Tenten the ability to plan like Shikamaru and that ability certainly would be useful here.
She surveyed the building before her that she had been in and out of countless times. It was an extension of the Hokage tower and was home to Neji's office. From where she stood she could see the window of Neji's office and did a few quick calculations in her head as she observed a tree a good jump from the window. If she got into his office that way she'd have the issue of being seen by others in the building taken care of.
She climbed up a different tree that overlooked the entrance to the building and made sure she was completely hidden in the leaves. She would wait for him to leave the building and jump to the tree that was near his window. Once inside the Hyuuga's office, phase two of operation Killjoy would commence. Phase two involved a bucket of blue paint and a can of spiders (Neji hated the color blue and spiders). Neji would enter his office the next morning to retrieve his notes for the mission and upon entering would find himself covered in blue paint (the old bucket-over-the-door trick) and that his office was home to several thousands of families of spiders.
She watched her target leave the building, clenching his fists and looking uber-pissed as usual. Tenten nearly giggled; she couldn't wait to see him the next morning. 'What's wrong, Neji?' She practiced what she'd say the next morning, mouthing the words and feigning concern on her pretty, delicate features. 'Feeling a little blue?'
She waited until Neji was definitely gone and leapt stealthily from tree to tree. She finally reached the window and landed on her tiptoes, scaling the wall. She'd miscalculated the size of the ledge and was now pressed up against the window awkwardly. Good thing no one was in the room, she thought. They'd be getting a nice healthy serving of a view of what was under her short pink dress.
With slow, tight motions, she unlatched the window and nearly fell inside. Regaining her composure, she stepped inside and let out a sigh of relief. Well, that had been more than clumsy. It looked like she really was turning into Naruto.
But where to start first? She put her hands on her hips and looked around the darkened office. She decided on the spiders first, and set down her pack to open it. She'd unleash the tiny, furry black crawlies and then as her last trick, set up the blue paint.
She fished the tin can carrying the spiders out of her pack and was about to pop open the lid when in a flash a strong hand much bigger than hers gripped her slender wrist. The knife thrower whipped a knife out of her holster with her free hand, but it was too late; she was flipped over onto her back on Neji's desk, the sparse personal possessions being pushed off the desk and clattering to the floor loudly.
Tenten let out a gasp—it had happened so fast. She looked up and met the eyes of her opponent.
"NEJI!?!" she cried in disbelief. The opal-eyed man was smirking arrogantly at her (he was a pro at that) and gripped her wrist harder than she'd have liked. She narrowed her eyes and tried to wrestle out of his grip but it was no use. Neji effortlessly caught her other wrist and now she was pinned to the desk, her legs stretched out awkwardly, especially since she was in that little pink dress. She took a moment to curse herself for donning the sundress and once that was done with, resumed glaring at Neji, who still had that infuriating smirk on. She went to reach up and wipe the expression off his face but realized with a pang that she was still pinned to the desk. She sighed and uncurled her fingers, dropping the tin of spiders to the floor and effectually relinquishing her only weapon. "I thought you left." She muttered, her cheeks reddening as she realized Neji was practically on top of her. This was not turning out as planned.
"Kage bunshin." He whispered. In the darkness of his office his eyes seemed to glow and sent embarrassing goosebumps all over Tenten's skin. She wriggled but Neji didn't even loosen his hold on the kunoichi.
"How did you-"
"We could start with the fact that you spent half the day outside, staring at my window and drawing diagrams in the dirt. There's also the fact that I saw you coming out of the woods with Shino, carrying a can. And don't get me started on spotting you coming out of that store with a can of paint that had blue paint dribbling down the sides."
Tenten exhaled, feeling incredibly stupid. Then it hit her.
"Wait. You've been in the office the whole time."
"I just said that." Neji said irritably.
"Then you saw me come in." Images of her stumbling around on the ledge, the hemline of her dress being played with by the wind and giving Neji an eyeful or more assaulted her mind and she cringed. Neji seemed to understand what she was thinking because that infuriating smirk returned.
"Oh, I certainly did."
That's it, she thought. Naruto wasn't going to be getting that gift basket. Damn him for putting ideas in her head. And why had she ever thought she could get away with a plan she had crafted? Trust her to screw something up. It seemed that no matter how many years of training and practice she had, she still had yet to grasp the whole stealth aspect of being a ninja. Oh well. She was more into being direct anyway. She should've just resorted to her usual agenda of making fun of Neji and teasing him as much as possible.
"...Could you let me go, by any chance?"
"And risk you wreaking havoc on my office? Absolutely not." Neji eyed the can of spiders on the floor nervously as he said this, although only Tenten would've known that he was nervous. She grinned, feeling a little more powerful. Then again, she still was pinned awkwardly to his desk. She sighed.
"Look, this was just supposed to be a stupid practical joke. Y'know, just to have some fun and all." She decided to try and reason her way out of the situation, although she knew that trying to reason with Neji was akin to trying to get Shikamaru to clean his house on his own, or perhaps even getting Tsunade to give up her various addictions. In other words, physically impossible. If Neji became reasonable the universe would clearly be out of balance and Tenten would run away screaming if such a thing occurred.
"Fun? I think I know fun and blue paint isn't it."
"You and fun are two concepts that know nothing of each other." Tenten snapped. Neji raised his eyebrows.
"Oh really? You seem to have a lot of fun teasing me. It seems to me that they are related concepts after all. And speaking of two things that know nothing of each other, your legs are still spread quite far apart." He paused and his gaze flicked downward and then back up to her eyes. "By the way, orange is more Naruto's color."
Tenten squirmed and a string of curses were released but Neji was unfazed. He continued to press down on her wrists, his body half on the desk. Tenten's cheeks colored as she realized that their position was distinctly sexual. Not only that but she currently felt dizzy with confusion and something else that she couldn't place but she felt like a heroine in a romance novel, and with horrifying clarity she saw what all of this meant. Her anger towards Neji, their constant bickering, and now, the fact that he wouldn't let go of her.
Oh god. She felt sick. It was not supposed to happen this way. Neji raised his eyebrows again and Tenten detected a smirk playing on his lips. What if he'd known all along? That would be like him, to hold out on her and make her figure it out herself. She glared anew at the byakugan user who was giving her appealingly feigned looks of confusion. He was so bad at acting, she thought. Then again if he'd known all along and had managed to hide it from her, then he must not be too bad.
"Do you have something you'd like to share, Tenten?" His voice was level but she knew that he knew where things were going. She wanted to kick him for his audacity but he'd pinned down her legs too.
"You asshole." She hissed. It only seemed to amuse Neji. If she had let her mind wander, she knew she'd start thinking about how attractive that stupid arrogant smirk of his was. She shook her head to rid it of the thought. That was a can of worms not appropriate for opening at the moment. She glanced at the floor where the tin of spiders lay. Then again, perhaps it was more a can of spiders.
"It's your fault for invading my office. I never invited you in here." He said softly. Tenten rolled her eyes, this was just too much. The way he was looking at her practically begged for her to reply with some statement packed with innuendo, but she wasn't quick enough to come up with something, and that was too cliché anyway. She'd leave the cliches for Sasuke and Sakura, thank you very much.
But when he leaned in further, her head was swimming with innuendo-laced thoughts she could share. She bit her lip to keep from screaming at him, and realized that she didn't exactly want him to get off. "Well? Don't you have anything to say for yourself?" He murmured. The slight movement of his lips was almost hypnotic, and Tenten felt her reserves weakening. She hated giving in so soon, but at the moment his hands were sliding up her bare arms and she understood that the old battles were over and done with. A new one had started, and it had similar undertones, only they weren't exactly undertones anymore. Now, Neji was just being plain honest.
Somewhere in her brain (which had recently turned to mush) a lightbulb went off that Neji had let go of her hands. She knew that he was challenging her here, and this was her chance to make a choice. She could push him away and try to ignore the epiphany that she had just had, or she could... well, go with it.
She chose neither, and instead decided to hold that decision at bay while she gained more information. It was hard to form words when Neji's mouth was so close to her skin, but she pushed herself to focus.
"H-how did you know...?" Great, now she sounded like Hinata. She mentally smacked herself. Yeah, that was definitely a turn-off. To top it all off, the question had been so vague that he might think she was asking again about the practical joke. Nice move, Tenten, she thought angrily.
But to be fair, his fingertips were tracing circles on the patch of exposed skin above the back of her dress, just in between her shoulderblades, and it was beyond difficult to think when he was doing that. She lifted her hand to slap him away but found it had gained a mind of its own and decided to travel to Neji's jaw, where it rested for a moment and then slowly traced along it until her fingers found his hair and ran through the silky strands that she hadn't realized she'd wanted to touch. 'Stop it!' She yelled at herself but it was no use; now their lips had touched and she knew that she'd lost.
Or won? She couldn't really tell. Maybe it was a win-win situation. Or a lose-lose situation. Whatever.
Neji pulled away slowly and Tenten felt like a baby having its pacifier pulled away. This was bad, already she was addicted and it hadn't even been a real kiss.
"It's destiny. Obviously." He said it so condescendingly that now she wanted to hit him again. Oh well, she thought resignedly. She had been subjected to his know-it-all complex for so many years now. May as well accept that she'd be constantly switching between wanting to throttle him and wanting to get him out of those-
ahem. She'd save that thought for later. For now, she had to punish him for holding out for so long on her. He knew she couldn't figure these things out for herself! She slowly retrieved the kunai that she'd dropped, an evil glint in her normally kind brown eyes. She adopted his smirk and he looked confused, and then understanding dawned on him.
"You are going to pay." She whispered, twirling the kunai in her fingers dangerously. Neji raised his eyebrows but a shadow of fear had come over his face. He hadn't counted on her to still be angry, even after a kiss like that, but oh well. He began to back up, trying to not get distracted by the open view of her undergarments. He supposed this was to be a preview of the rest of his life. He nearly swore; Tenten was scary (and admittedly even hotter) when she was all demonic like that.
"GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID PRODIGY!"
"IT'S DESTINY- OW!!"
Thanks, ladies and gents. PLEASE REVIEW!