"I've noticed something... very weird."
Ishida stood authoritatively before a handful or two of the cast of Bleach –who were sitting and standing around a small line of smooshy armchairs– as though he was Sherlock and it was that oh-so-very-important 'pointing-the-finger scene'.
"Really?" questioned Rukia, sitting on a flowery recliner, Renji sitting on the arm of it, Ichigo sprawled across on a thickly-padded leather couch beside them.
Ishida nodded, glancing almost accusingly around at them all.
"Kuchiki-san is around one-hundred and fifty, yes?" Ishida started, the people around him nodding.
Ishida ploughed on, pushing his twinkling glasses up his nose in an authoritative manner. "She graduated from shinigami academy around ten-or-so years ago –I'm just guessing, it didn't say anything on her wikipedia page– and she killed Kaien-dono around that time, yes?"
Rukia sniffed in answering and Renji patted her head.
"And she brought Kaien-dono's body back to Ganju and his family after," Ganju stood a step behind and to the side of the bright red throne his sister had her luxurious bottom upon, and listened intently, a frown upon his face, wondering where this was going.
"But," Ishida continued, raising a long finger. "In Ganju's flashback, he was but a child then, and Rukia looked the same age she does now... Rukia now looks the same age as she did then, but, Ganju looks quite a lot older than her."
The body of the handful or two of the Bleach cast blinked in unison.
"It's a time-paradox," Ishida stated proudly.
Quite suddenly, there was a loud BANG and a man with fly-away curly red hair and wearing a multi-coloured scarf that seemed to be around forty sizes too big pranced into the room, though a door that wasn't there a second ago. At his heels was a boxy, metal, dog-shaped robot and a pretty young lady with platinum-blonde hair.
Skidding to a halt beside Ishida with more flamboyant poise than a woeful flamingo at sunset, the man beamed at them all with shiny white teeth.
"'The hell are you?" Renji snapped.
"I am The Doctor!" chirped the man, seeming quite delighted. "And this is K9, and this is Romana, and that's Rukia, and that young fellow is Ganju, and who might you all be? Would you like a jelly-baby?"
The body of Bleach characters blinked, before Ichigo stuck out his his hand for one of the sweets. The Doctor handed Ichigo a few of the multicoloured treats, before turning to a baffled-looking Ishida.
"Oh, don't mind me," chuckled the Doctor, waving a hand. "Do continue your conversation."
K9 beeped thoughtfully from behind the Doctor's knee and Romana settled herself upon a nicely embroidered piano-chair.
There was a moment of silence, then Ishida opened his mouth, before, quite suddenly, the Doctor let out a triumphant cry and clapped his hands together –startling all of the Bleach characters– as though he'd just figured out the meaning of the universe.
"What is it, Doctor?" questioned Romana with a smile.
"I just figured out the meaning of the universe!" crowed the Doctor by complete coincidence, before promptly turning heel and zooming back out whence he came with a delighted whoop, Romana and K9 on his heels once again.
There was a moment of surprised silence, before the Doctor's head appeared in the doorway again.
"Continue your conversation, friends! I'll probably be back later –or earlier–; something's come up." The Doctor paused, before correcting himself. "Three things have come up, two things down, and a big, one-eyed sentient shoe with a broken heart."
The Doctor's head promptly withdrew, but not before flashing the Bleach characters a bright grin and a cheery wave.
A ringing silence followed the Doctor's exit, before Ichigo blinked, chewing thoughtfully on a yellow jelly-baby.
"How come he knew Rukia and Ganju's names?"
The two mentioned just twiddled their thumbs and stayed appropriately silent.
((END. This is a christmas present for everyone who reads this weird little fic, and especially for any of you who are Doctor Who fans. I was on a Doctor Who high while I wrote this, and, I'd love to hear if I got the Fourth Doctor's attitude right. I saw the words 'time paradox' in the review, and this just clicked. I hope you liked it!))