I made my way out the house toward a car as I was about to open the door Nicholas was in front of me.
"Hey" I said now facing him
"Are you leaving?" he asked as he still held my hand
"Yeah I think its time I faced my demons" I said laughing lightly
"I like it when you smile" he said as he caressed my cheek
"I like you" he said abruptly
"Nicholas I can't" I said as I pulled away
"You don't have to leave" he said begging me with his eyes
"Where did this come from!" I finally screamed frustrated
"I don't know I guess when I became over protective over you" he said smiling
"But you never did anything or showed anything" I said rubbing my forehead
"You don't know how bad I wanted to rip out of Emily's grip and go to you" he said somewhat in a growl
"Look Emily likes you" I said as I placed both my hands on his shoulders
"No" he said as he grabbed both my hands
"It doesn't matter" I simply said as I turned away from him
I couldn't lie to him or myself, I had acted like a child and runaway from my problems. I had only my thoughts in mind and wanted no reason to think other wise. I guess I was just afraid of the fact that maybe I was wrong. Here stood Nicholas and I could so easily stay and start something new. I could pretend or I could learn to love him. But was I so selfish or worse that scared of Edward?
"Take care" I said as I got in the car and drove away. I guess I hadn't lost myself completely; old Bella was still here somewhere.
The plan was extremely long I couldn't help it but fidget the whole time. For some reason I knew Alice was waiting for me. I don't know what I wanted I guess I just wanted answers. But I know what and who I wanted gone. I don't know why I let my jealousy get the best of me, I was such a girl. I sighed as I moved around my seat. Everything had gotten out of control so fast and I wanted to fix it and in the end i still came out losing. I guess a part of me wanted Jacob to be the old Jake the one I once liked so much and I wanted him to still love me. I guess he still did but it was too late to do anything about what had happened because it happened and that's that.
As I got off the plane and walked the more I regretted this. Maybe I shouldn't have come back for all I know Edward could have moved on.
"I should have stayed" I said to myself
"Nooo" Alice said surprising me and hugging me
"Alice how you been?" I asked
"Fine but my brother on the other hand miserable" Alice said as she started walking me out
"Yeah right" I said rolling my eyes
"He will explain everything when we get home" she said
"What! Right now? No way" I said stopping
"This is what you came for right?" she said
"I guess" I said walking with her now
"Don't worry nobody will be home im just dropping you off and then im leaving" she said starting the car
"Making sure I get there is more like it" I said as I crossed my arms and she just laughed
I was there before I could blink 4 times, she was so quick I was out the car and she was gone. Edward totally new I was here I guess he was going to wait for me to go in. I took many unnecessary breaths before walking up the steps to the front door; before I knocked he opened the door.
He made a move to come towards me but thought otherwise as he stepped aside letting me walk in. I sat down on the couch as he made his way over me and sat down.
"Edward…" I started to say but he cut me off
"Bella let me explain everything was a misunderstanding" he said now standing up
"I don't know how raven planed it or how it happened I just know that one minute she is saying that she has no place to live and needed a place to crash and then she just walks out saying she needs something to do and is gone" he said kind of fast as he started pacing back and forth
"Then she was back and I just offered for her to stay here awhile until she gets settled and next thing I know she is hugging me and really over joyed I don't know how she timed it so well or how she knew you were going to be there" he said now rubbing his head and sat back down.
"I know she had come to see me and said something about being able to marry you know and what not and then she left and I came over right away to figure out what was going on" I said as I stood up now
"I feel so stupid I mean I let her fool me and worse I ran away without getting the whole story" I said pacing
"Okay sit down" he said as he pulled me back down on the couch
"The story is I did love her once upon a time but that was so long ago when I saw her at rose's wedding I was as shocked as you were I hadn't thought about her in a long time" he said now holding my hand
"She even tried to court me can you believe that" he said laughing lightly
"All I could think about was you and if you were okay, all I could go on with was Alice's visions of you" he said kissing my hand
"Raven didn't even last a week here, Alice and Rosalie made it hell for her" he said smiling and that made me smile
"I love you" he said as he leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek
"I love you too" as we both leaned into a passionate kiss
"Don't ever leave me again please" he said as he leaned his head against my chest
"I promise" I said as we just sat there holding each other
Finally I felt at home in his arms. I felt safe like I was finally doing the right thing. Sure a part of me went back to forks to safe Jacob but the truth was I went back to get a little taste of what we had, I wanted to feel love. I felt betrayed and I just wanted something to make me feel sane. In the end nothing can change what happened it did and that's that. Now everything is on the path of getting better.