Title: Advanced Sex-Education
Email: bananacosmicgirl at hotmail dot com
Website: cosmicuniverse . net
Livejounal: bananacosmicgirl . livejournal . com
Characters: Severus Snape, Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy
Pairings: Severus/unknown, Draco/Harry
Warnings: Mpreg, slash
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Summary: Snape is forced to hold Advanced Sex-Ed and tell the students about male pregnancy – when he himself is seven months pregnant.
Author's notes: This story is an entry in the Harry Potter Mpreg Fuh-Q-Fest Wave 6
(groups. google. com / group / HarryPotterMpreg/). Challenge information at the end of the first chapter. This is mpreg, so if you don't like that, don't read it. You won't enjoy it, obviously. Flames are used to roast marshmallows on.
- - -
- - -
Severus Snape: The Things You're Forced To Do
- - -
Severus Snape did his best to manage the menacing stride that he usually had. His cloak billowed behind him as it always had but the effect of it was more than slightly diminished by his changed body. He glared unpleasantly at students, his lips curled at the thought of what he was about to be forced to do. He! In this state! Had to do this of all things?
"It's a rotating schedule, Severus," the Headmaster had said to him, his eyes twinkling merrily. It was obviously terribly funny to have Severus do this particular class in this particular condition. "Lemon drop?"
Snape's mood darkened even further at the memory.
"Silence!" he bellowed as soon as he walked – waddled, perhaps was he more correct term – into the classroom.
He barely glanced at the students, who for once were watching him with anticipation rather than boredom or stupidity. Granger was flipping through a book – big surprise there – while Draco and Potter were glancing at each other, somehow thinking that no one knew about their relationship. Ridiculous, thought Snape. Everyone knew – even Snape, who tried his best to avoid all gossiping.
"I've been forced to do this class," Snape said through gritted teeth to the class, "so now you are going to sit down and be silent and I will get this over with."
Snape sat down behind his desk, already weary. He was annoyed with how easily he tired these days; he was used to being up both day and night. Now he was able to sleep ten hours a night without trouble. On top of that, there were food cravings, the odd tingling feeling in his body, the mood swings — and now he was to teach this lesson.
The chalk he'd spelled to write notes on the board behind him clinked against the board as it jotted down the words.
"You've already had your sex-ed introduction back in third year," Snape said. With a glare at the class before him, he continued, "and I don't doubt that most of you have personal experience by now, despite any rules the Headmaster may have for this school."
Had he been any other teacher, the class would probably have giggled at this. With Snape, however, they didn't dare. A few of the students blushed instead and studied their desks. Snape wondered briefly if those were the ones who had had sex, or those who hadn't.
He decided he most definitely didn't care.
"As such," he continued instead, "this class is not going to deal with the act itself. Instead we will focus on what sex and most particularly intercourse can lead to."
"Like pregnancy?" he heard someone snigger. Snape's head snapped up and he glared at the students but he couldn't tell who had spoken.
Still glaring, he said, "I'm going to speak about such things as Muggle diseases that have spread into the Wizarding world as well after wizards and witches have been careless, as well as of — pregnancy."
He sighed out the last word. The baby kicked his ribs at just that moment and he rested one hand on his swollen belly.
He spoke calmly of the diseases that Muggles had infected them with – Gonorrhoea, Chlamydia, Herpes, Hepatitis B and Syphilis. He spoke the longest about the first two, because just as with Muggles, those were the ones that were the most common amongst Wizarding youngsters.
"There are potions to take care of these diseases," Snape explained, "but if left untreated, they can cause infertility and life-lasting pain. Syphilis and Chlamydia can both be transferred to an unborn child if the carrier is infected, and cause problems for the child."
The students were listening well. None of them dared to ask any questions, for which Snape was happy. He hoped that they would continue that way when he came to the next and last subject of today's lecture.
"Finally," he said and he tried to keep his hesitance and disgust out of his voice, "I am forced to talk about pregnancy."
He glared at the students one by one to make sure that they understood that they were not to ask questions, comment, or even breathe during this part. Longbottom shrank back at his glare.
"One of ten babies in England is born to a teenage mother," Snape said. "In the Wizarding world, the numbers are only slightly different – one in nine babies is born to a teenage mother or father. It is, as far as I can gather, more accepted to give birth to children early in life in the Wizarding world than it is in the Muggle world. As children in the Wizarding world leave school earlier than Muggles, we seem better prepared. Still, we do not encourage it – most especially not becoming a parent before the legal age of seventeen.
"Future prospects for a teenage parent decline – a teenager who decides to have a baby before he or she is out of school often doesn't complete their training, either at all or at least not until much later. This can result in poverty and studies have shown it increases the risk of the child itself becoming a teenage parent later on in life. There are also health problems, as the teenage body isn't quite ready to carry a child. Low birth weight for the baby is very common. Also, around fifteen percent of teenagers having babies have a second child within three years."
Snape read all of this from the sheet before him. He'd received a bunch of notes from the Headmaster; it was the lesson plan used each year. Snape had merely updated the statistics and read through the papers before class started. He'd been floored the first time he'd read the statistics and he was glad that he wasn't a teenager. Instead, he was older than most first-timers.
The students looked bored. Snape supposed they all wondered how this could possibly affect them – pregnancy wouldn't happen to them, it happened to other people. Snape held back a smirk and spoke once more.
"It was only two years ago that a student gave birth to a child on Hogwarts grounds. Perhaps that makes it slightly more real for you than the statistics." He glanced around the class and noticed that several of them were surprised; he heard a gasp or two. Obviously they hadn't known about that Summers boy who had left Hogwarts in his sixth year after giving birth to a son. Summers had never told anyone who the father was.
"A girl or a boy?" drawled Malfoy.
Snape pretended not to see the hand Malfoy kept rubbing against Potter's thigh, hidden by the desk from everyone else but Snape.
"A boy," Snape answered.
"Really? Male pregnancy?" asked Malfoy. He smirked and his eyes were on Snape's midsection. "That's not very common, now is it?"
A vein by Snape's temple throbbed as he tried to still his wish to strangle Malfoy.
"It's more common than most believe," he bit out. "One in eight children in the Wizarding world is born to a male. The number of teen pregnancies among these is higher than for girls, as many boys aren't aware of the possibility. About half of all children born to males are the result of teen pregnancies."
He saw Malfoy's hand on Potter's leg and he was hit by the notion of a Malfoy-Potter child – it wasn't a pleasant thought.
"But why don't they abort the baby when they find out they're pregnant?" asked Pansy Parkinson. "I don't suppose they always want the kid."
Snape glared at her; he didn't want questions. Still, he felt obliged to answer. "Male pregnancies involve a lot of magic. Males aren't born to carry children and as such, a magical womb has to be created, whether by potion or by spells." He saw Parkinson open her mouth to ask about this so he continued quickly, "They usually don't do these spells or drink these potions with the intention of becoming pregnant. Instead, they believe what they are doing are contraceptive potions.
"There is one contraceptive potion in particular that is very popular among girls," Snape said and almost enjoyed it. It was what had created his own mess, of course, but he was going to take pleasure in seeing the boys in the class squirm. After all, his own fate was already sealed. "The Contraceptus Potion works perfectly on girls who take it once a month. There are no records of any girls giving birth while taking the Contraceptus Potion." The female students looked visibly relieved.
"For boys on the other hand," Snape said and held back a smirk, "the Contraceptus Potion works quite differently. As the Potion was created to stop a baby from growing in the womb, the Potion needs a womb to work in. If there isn't one, the potion will create one. The boy will experience some pain as the womb is created and attached to the rectal intestines. Most believe this is a regular stomach ache and as it usually passes in half an hour or so, most don't seek medical help."
He noticed that Potter looked particularly pale, to the point where Snape thought he might be sick on the classroom floor.
It wasn't unlike his own reaction when he'd first read about the potion's function on males.
"Once created, the womb will be intact for a month," Snape continued. "If the Contraceptus Potion isn't taken again, the womb will dissolve, as long as it's not in use. If taken for three consecutive months, the magical womb will become much more stable and will not dissolve until a year later."
This time it was Dean Thomas who spoke. "But how could the womb be in use after the first month if the Contraceptus works for a month?"
Snape held back a sigh. He'd asked himself the same thing. "The working time is not the same for males. While the working time for females is a month – thirty days exactly – the time for males who take it is twenty six days. No one has been able to explain why it is shorter for males than for females, though there is a theory that believes that so much of the potion's magic is used up to keep the womb working that the working period is shortened. Either way, the fact stands – during the last four days, the male is unprotected and a pregnancy can occur if the male is engaged in sexual activity."
He glanced at Potter again and saw Potter's eyes wide and horrified, his face pasty white and one hand resting on his stomach. Snape realised that the likelihood of a Potter-Malfoy baby had suddenly increased tenfold.
He wanted to laugh hysterically at the mental image of a hugely pregnant Potter fighting the Dark Lord.
"The symptoms of male pregnancy are the same as for females," Snape said and recalled his first few months, before he'd started showing. He'd been in denial for quite a while; more than a month of morning sickness had passed and he still hadn't wanted to recognize the fact that a baby was growing inside of him. "There is morning sickness, food cravings, tingling body, tender chest, fatigue and frequent urination. Of course, it's different from pregnancy to pregnancy; one may have all of the symptoms, another a few, and yet another none. The latter is, of course, unusual."
Malfoy, who didn't seem to notice his lover's discomfort, asked with a smirk, "What symptoms did you have, sir?"
Considering how uncomfortable Potter had grown during his description of male pregnancy, Snape couldn't be annoyed with Malfoy's cheek.
"I had three months of morning sickness, Mr Malfoy," he said coolly. "I also had what all males who become pregnant have – a week of small pains, during which my body changed to be able to accommodate the child. Most males don't recognise this for what it is and as a healing potion will remove the pain, most don't think twice about it."
Potter stood unsteadily. "E-excuse me, I have to—"
He ran out of there. Malfoy looked after him oddly and Snape wondered how dense the boy could possibly be.
He also wondered how he was going to take the news of becoming a father so young. Potter and Malfoy were both only seventeen; grown-ups but not quite – it would be quite hard for them, especially considering the pregnant party had a mad Dark Lord after him.
Great timing to add a pregnancy to the mix, Snape thought sarcastically.
"Silence," he said to the class, who'd started to mumble as Potter had run out of there. Granger and Weasley looked worriedly after him but they didn't seem to realise the reason for Potter's sudden departure.
"But why don't they abort the kids if they don't want them?" Parkinson asked again.
"Many of them because they don't realise it until it's too late," Snape said. "Boys can't abort their children after the eighth week; after that, the magic keeping the foetus alive is too intertwined with the carrier's and the carrier would run an eighty percent risk of dying if the child was aborted."
"Was that what happened to you?" Parkinson asked with a smirk.
Snape's head snapped up. "Two weeks of detention, Miss Parkinson, and fifty points from Slytherin. I will not dignify that with an answer."
Parkinson looked shocked. Snape didn't know what she'd expected – such cheek towards any teacher would be punished and the girl had done it to her Head of House.
Snape's agitated mood affected the baby immediately; it kicked his ribs hard. Snape rested a hand on the curve of his stomach.
Of course the pregnancy hadn't been planned. He'd been in shock when he'd realised the possibility and then he'd spent two months denying it. Only when his abs disappeared to be replaced by a gentle curve did he finally accept reality. Two weeks later, he'd told his lover. His lover had been beyond excited, which weighed up for Snape's reluctance. Could they handle a baby? Wasn't he too old to give birth? Would they be good parents?
After reading a multitude of pregnancy books, he'd realised that almost all parents had thoughts like this. It didn't calm him. Instead, his lover had to assure him over and over again that they would be fine.
"No child could wish for more loving parents," his lover had told him. "This is our love child."
Snape wasn't as certain; his own father had been anything but loving and he wasn't sure he could show a child the love it deserved from a parent. Would he know how to? Could he love at all?
As his stomach had begun to grow, the baby had begun to calm him. When he had felt the first kick, he'd been close to tears – and he'd locked himself away for a day, claiming he was sick, so that no one would see him be such a mess.
"How is the child born?"
Snape snapped out of his reveries at the question. He didn't know who'd asked but he answered, "As the magical womb is attached to the rectum that is the way the child will be born. The other possibility is a so-called C-section, but it is only used when problems are anticipated or arise during the birth.
"From the seventh month on, the carrier is forced to take a variety of potions to prepare the body for as smooth a birth as possible. There have been cases where the male has gone without these potions, but the death rate of both carrier and baby is a little over sixty percent, versus births with the potions where the death rate is around five percent."
He wasn't looking forward to that part of the pregnancy. He'd been taking the potions for two weeks now but it sounded as though it would hurt and hurt a lot. Still, he'd been tortured by the Dark Lord – it couldn't possibly be worse, right?
Snape sighed. "Any other questions?"
The students glanced at each other and fidgeted. They obviously wanted to leave, most particularly Malfoy, Weasley and Granger, who were all still watching the door for Potter's return. Snape wondered how it felt to realise a pregnancy in the middle of class.
"If this is the case with a potion almost everyone uses, why aren't we told earlier about how it works on boys?" It was Granger who asked the question.
"Anyone who gets the potion from a certified Mediwitch will be told of all the potions qualities," Snape said. He added with a mutter, "Or so I'm told. However, as the potion is easy to brew, many youngsters do just that. It's far cheaper and no one asks any questions. In the old books that describe how to brew it, male pregnancy isn't mentioned because it wasn't well known at the time – especially not the fact that the Contraceptus Potion made it possible rather than impossible for males to conceive."
"But why do boys use the potion to begin with?" Granger asked.
"There have been cases of spontaneous male pregnancy," Snape said. "It's something along the lines of wish-magic; if one or both of the males want a child, or for some reason think about certain things, wish-magic can make a pregnancy happen. Sometimes, it's been the thought of not wanting to become pregnant that has made it happen, simply because the thought had to do with a child. Wish-magic isn't safe magic. As such, boys too need to use contraceptives."
"Oh," was all Granger said. Snape supposed there hadn't been much about it in the books she'd no doubt ploughed through before the lesson.
"If there aren't any further questions," Snape said with another sigh, "class is dismissed."
The students didn't need to be told twice; they collected their quills and parchments as quickly as they could and hurried out of there.
Snape stood uncomfortably, stretching his legs and his back. Then he quickly waddled over to the bathroom to relieve himself. The baby turned and kicked within him.
"That went pretty well, didn't it?" Snape muttered to his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He rubbed a hand over his stomach; the baby moved within him. Then he glanced at the door and smirked slightly. "And mark my words, there will be a Potter-Malfoy baby born here within seven months."
- - -
Continued in chapter two:
Harry Potter: That Thing Called Consequence
- - -
Go to my website for the credits, as I can't link here.
Author's notes: Bored at work, thought I'd write this. I hope you enjoyed.
This story is an entry in the Harry Potter Mpreg Fuh-Q-Fest Wave 5 (groups./group/HarryPotterMpreg):
Fqf 5, challenge 4: "A Wizard Professor gives his class a lesson on advanced sex-education, including an explanation of Wizard pregnancies. He himself is very visibly pregnant. How does the lesson go, and how does he handle the class?"