This is a Kazu/Kenta friendship one shot, which is part of the 'Four on the Fourth' project. Kazu and Kenta are now roommates in their mid-20s. Kenta is going out on a date, and Kazu, bless his caring heart, has advice for his best friend. Rated 'M' for language and some mild sexual references.
DISCLAIMER: 'Digimon Tamers' was a creation of Chiaki J. Konaka, Yukio Kaizawa, and Toei Animation, and NOT in any way, shape or form a creation of the author Rave the Rich. RTR makes nothing from the work of these people, and does this simply for entertainment purposes. Please do not flame.
"Hey. Kazu. Kazu, wake up!" These words came from Kenta Kitagawa, who was watching the clock as he attempeted to wake his roommate and best friend for like Kazu Shioda, who was sleeping on the couch with the television on very loudly.
"Jesus. It's like trying to wake a fucking log." Kenta speaks above a whisper. Seeing that he did not have much time left before he had to pick up his date, he came up with one final solution. Scanning the living area and the couch, he found what he was looking for right on the ground next to his drooling friend. It was the remote control to the television, which he almost immediately turned off upon grasping it with his right hand.
To this action, Kazu wakes up. "My god. Does anyone have any manners? I was watching..." before he could finish his sentence, he sees his formerly bespectacled friend Kenta standing to the left of him, close to the main door. Kenta had grown to be quite a strikingly handsome young man over the years, and tonight it showed. He was wearing a black collared shirt, along with a black and white tie, black slacks, and a white belt. The ensemble is topped off with a pair of respectable black leather sneakers, and Kenta has gelled his hair, which he has worn short since turning sixteen.
"God damn, Kenta" Kazu says, trying to shake the sleepiness off as he got a real good look at his friend. "We don't have company, do we?"
"No, but I do have a... a date tonight, Kazu."
"A... what? A date" Kazu says, not believing a word.
"Holy shit! I gotta go" Kazu interjects as he jumps off the couch and heads near the bedrooms.
"Where the hell are you going with... smiley face boxers and a black tank top... at this hour?"
"Well" Kazu says, coming back to Kenta's proximity, "you're going on a date for the first time in... years, and I gotta alert the fucking media. I mean, this ranks up there with electing a new prime minister." Kenta is sort of aggravated with this comment by his best friend, and lets him know by shoving him back onto the couch he recently jumped off.
"You son of a bitch" Kenta says to Kazu, though he is having a hard time hiding the fact that he's laughing at his friend's absurdity to his date life. "You blow every god damn thing out of proportion. You of all people should know that my last date was about five months ago, because we went on double dates! You somehow, someway were able to convince Rika to go out with you, and from that date on, you're now going out with her."
"Yeah. But you pulled the 'alert the media' schtick when you found out that she and I were going steady, as well." Kazu comes back. "You called it a miracle somewhere along the plane of Jesus turning water into wine, which by the way is blasphemous, but that's neither here nor there. I just consider it a dose of poetic justice. So Kenta, who's the unlucky victim tonight?"
Kenta shakes his head, realizing that his friend has absolutely no confidence in his ability to have a successful date. "If you must know..."
"Yes I must know." Kazu interrupts.
"Will you fucking let me finish? Please?" Kazu gives him a thumbs up, while sporting a silly grin. "Remember Miki?"
"Miki? From Asaji-sensei's class? You're going out with her?" Kenta nods to these questions. "Good night! I heard that she's a real fucking hottie now!" Realizing what he said, he quickly restated what he said. "I mean... if I wasn't committed now with Rika, I'd... probably go out on a date with her."
Kenta goes up to his flustered friend upon hearing this revelation, and says "You're in so much trouble when I tell Rika. I gotta go." Kenta is about to leave, but is stopped by Kazu.
"Wait! Wait! Come on, man! Don't tell Rika. Please" Kazu says, legitimately scared that Kenta would blab about how he coveted Kenta's date Miki. Kazu is also scared that if Rika were to find out about his remarks on Miki, he would get hurt by the girl, who is still as tough as they come. Truth be told, Kenta had no intention whatsoever of telling Rika that he said those things about his date. He only said he would tell Rika just to 'fuck with him'.
"Look, I'll tell you this. You don't tell Rika that I said that about Miki, and... I'll give you some date advice. It's true, you did have that double date five months ago, but you haven't had a single date in almost two years." This time, Kazu was spot on.
It was true that most of the time, it would be Kazu on a date and Kenta home trying to find something on TV, or Kenta would find someone to accompany them on numerous double dates. The last single date he had was with Jaarin Wong, the older sister of their buddy Henry, and even that date was a favor to Henry, as Jaarin had come back home from spending graduate school in America.
Kenta seriously considers his friend's offer. Kazu had been going on dates since he was about twelve years old. He's now 26, so he's had to have picked something up along over fourteen years of courting young girls and women. Kenta does want to get back into the swing of things in dating, and a few pointers here and there shouldn't hurt.
"Okay, Kazu. You win. What advice can you impart on this inexperienced soul" Kenta sarcastically remarks.
"All right" Kazu smiles, beaming at the opportunity to impart on his once nerdish friend his advice on the rules of rendezvousing.
"What you gotta remember is that you are the man, so you have to take charge. When she is cold, you give her your jacket. When she suggests a romantic comedy, you go for action/adventure. And when she suggests that you 'go Dutch' come dinnertime because she doesn't want to put the burden on you, you say 'I'm the man, and I'm the one who will pay for dinner tonight, thank you very much. As a matter of fact, I'll also pay for cocktails and desserts for the both of us.' And that's how you take charge in a date, my friend."
Kenta looked almost despondent upon hearing this 'advice'. Kazu's advice was absolute trash, and in no way worked with any part of the date he had planned with Miki, and he let Kazu know this.
"I can't tell you... how many things are wrong with what you just said" Kenta replies while shaking his head. "First off, it's July. It's not gonna be cold for at least another three months, so I doubt either of us will need jackets even if we're out real late. Second of all, we haven't even planned on seeing a movie tonight, but if we did, I wouldn't even have a problem sitting through a Disney flick. You of all people know that my movie choices are eclectic. You accompany me to most of my trips to the movies! And we already decided to no host before tonight."
Kazu gives off a sheepish grin, knowing full well that his advice for Kenta's upcoming date went straight down the toilet. It turned out that nothing he suggested would work in this special case.
"And just so you know, I'm driving tonight, so there's no damn way that I'm gonna be buying cocktails for myself."
"Hold it, chumley" Kazu once again tries to save face and come up with some advice to help his dating friend. "I got some more advice. Did you think about taking her on a walk, or going on a stroll through the park?" Kenta is relieved. He didn't think about a stroll through the park, but when Kazu brought it to his attention, he had a new idea about how to go about this tryst.
"What I'm saying is, if you take her to the park, or take her on a romantic walk, and you're the one who suggests doing it, you look like a million bucks in her eyes. And, you are the one who is controlling the mood. So... it'll be a lot easier for you to possibly, maybe, hopefully..."
"Out with it, Kazu" Kenta boringly interjects.
"...get to second base with her? I know you wanna do it, right?" Kazu questions, wondering if he's struck gold with this little nugget of advice. Judging by the look on his best friend's face, he has not. Again Kenta is spotting a very despondent look.
"what the fuck, man? Is sex the only thing on your mind right now? I want to actually get off to a good start tonight, and all I've gotten from you is this bullshit about me having to take control. Well, what if I want Miki to take hold of the reigns tonight? What if I want to actually do this my way, and be equal partners with one of my dates for just this one time? I know things are different between you and Rika, and I know that things have changed for you since that date, but I'm not seeing it here right now!"
Kazu sighs, knowing that his joke answers fell flat, and he wasn't being a good friend by providing sound advice when his friend was in need. As Kenta was about to head for his room, Kazu stopped him.
"Hey, man. All joking aside, I know this is important to you. So all I have to say is be you. Be the best damn Kenta Kitagawa that ever lived, and I know Miki will really appreciate it. If not, then fuck her, 'cause there are other fish in the sea, and you're getting up there in age, old fella. No need worrying yourself over something I know you'll be fine in. You'll find that special girl like I have. It may not be Rika Nonaka, but no matter what, she'll be with you because she wants to. Because she wants a piece of that Kenta cobbler with..." Kazu pauses for a second and brings his voice down "a few drizzles of white frosting."
Kenta twitches upon hearing that final remark from his friend. "Eww! That's fucking disgusting!" Kenta then turns back to his friend. "But it's good advice nonetheless. Even though it's mired in clutter." Kenta goes to give his friend a hug, and Kazu immediately returns the favor. Looking at the clock on the microwave, Kenta realizes if he doesn't leave soon, he'll be late to pick up Miki, and that's the last thing that he wants tonight.
"Fuck, I'm late. Gotta go, Kazu."
"Wait. Wait. Wait" Kazu calls out to Kenta before he can reach the front door. "There's one thing that you're missing tonight to make sure that nothing goes off without a hitch."
"What's that" Kenta asks, feeling very antsy. Kazu makes a quick stop in his bedroom, and then comes back out in record time. He has some small something or another in his hands. Kazu asks Kenta to hold out his hand, and he does so. Kazu puts two unopened condom wrappers in his hand. Kenta looks at his friend very oddly.
"What's this for" Kenta asks?
"It's for you and her. It's a pair of gloves" Kazu responds. Kenta looks at his friend, then at the wrappers, then at his friend one more time.
"Man..." Kenta says, and then chases Kazu to his bedroom, dropping the condom wrappers. "Get the fuck outta here! With that 'it's a pair of gloves' shit! You're incorrigible, man! I'm definitely telling Rika about this." Kenta heads back near the doorway, making sure that Kazu is out of sight. He scans the area looking for the condom wrappers he dropped mere seconds ago.
'This was the best advice he had all night' Kenta thinks to himself as he picks up the 'protection'.
"Goodnight, Kazu! Don't wait up" Kenta says as he leaves from the door of his apartment. Kazu goes back to the living room in search of the condoms after Kenta leaves, but doesn't find them. Kazu looks over to the nearby window and sees that the car lights have been turned on as a compliment to the whirring of the engine.
Kazu laughs to himself, as he sees that Kenta his hurrying to pick up Miki for the night.
"This oughta be good" Kazu ponders.
A/N: What did you think? Read and review and let your voice be heard!