Title: Drivers Ed.
Rating: Eh', I guess an M? For language.
A/N: Sorry, no porn here. Just good old fashion humor. Jossverse style! And yes, I know. I have a gazillion WIPs out there. But, this is a one shot deal, so I will work on some of the others today. :)
Summary: Faith can't stand the thought of Buffy having to drive her everywhere. So, she enlists the help of Willow to teach her. And of course, Buffy comes along for the ride.
- - - -
"Seat adjustion is first, then the belt is next." The redhead softly instructed as she slipped into the passenger side seat, shutting her door. The sound of the door behind her closed and in scooted Buffy. Faith was already behind the wheel, after having taken more than twenty minutes to get there. The tension in Faith's body was evident by hand muscles flexing under each finger that pulled at the belt, laying it across her chest and waist after pushing the seat back a bit.
"Why the seat first?" Faith asked, trying to work up the courage to place the keys in the ignition.
"You need to feel comfortable where you're in the car and then once that's established, you do up the belt and then fix the mirrors. You don't want to have to redo the mirrors because you realize the seat was too far forward or back too far." Willow explained.
The blonde in the back muttered something under her breath.
"Put your belt on too, Buffy." Willow ordered with a quick glance behind her.
"Already have it on. You think I'd rely on Slayer healing alone while in the car with Faith?" A snort from Buffy.
A growl from Faith.
"Either zip it, or unclick it Buffy and get out." From Willow in warning. "I'm here to teach Faith how to drive. Not babysit the both of you."
"Yeah, B. Might as well take some notes. Afterall, the last two cars you've driven were driven straight into other cars. The last one need I remind ya, was PARKED!" Faith immediately felt relaxed.
Buffy on the other hand was pissed. Fingers curled around her seatbelt, wishing she'd just rip it from the vehicle and wrap it around Faith's neck.
"Okay knock it off you two. Faith, concentrate on driving. Because now you need to start the car up." The redhead prayed this would go smoothly.
"Yeah, Faith. You do that with a KEY. Not hotwiring it." Buffy childishly added.
"You jus' wish I'd hotwire you up, B. Don't be jealous." Faith sniggered and went about placing the key in the ignition and reving the baby up with a small tap on the gas. "Nice." Was all she said.
Who knew Xander had a taste for good cars?
His taste in women was an entire other story.
"Now," Willow started and glanced around, "look out the side windows in the side mirrors and then the rearview mirror. Then put the signal on to go left, which turns on by pressing down. Then put the car into drive and slowly accelerate on the gas."
This was why Faith asked for Willow's help.
Xander was no use. He just threw his hands up and would announce he'd drive himself. Forgetting he promised to teach her.
Dawn didn't have a license.
Giles barely passed his renewing license test.
Two comas in one's lifetime was enough. No need to go for three, Faith figured.
"Sometime today!" Buffy piped up, kicking at the back of Faith's seat.
Seemed the brunette zoned out of it.
"Fuck off, B!" Faith growled, shifting the car into drive and pressing on the gas to pull out. Barely missing an oncoming car. Fortunately she knew where the break was and jerked the vehicle to a stop.
"Way to go! Not even five feet from the start point and you almost..." Buffy sank into her seat by the dark glare Willow casted her way. "This is me being quiet." She promised and let Faith get on with the driving.
"Wha' the fuck Red? Last I looked, no one was there."
"You looked about a minute ago. Sometimes cars have a tendency to be there one minute even when they weren't before." The wicca teased lightly.
"Ha. Ha." The younger Slayer mused, pulling safely out of the spot after having checked once more for cars.
It was a while before Faith managed to get the car to the corner. Half a dozen other cars blazing their horns in frustration at her slow speed before taking the chance to bypass her. "Wha' the hell is everyone's problem?" Faith asked aloud, turning the signal to make a right.
"Gee, I wonder." Buffy whispered, idly checking her nail polish for belmishes. "Pull over. I just might as well walk to the doctors. I'll likely end up being seen by the time you get the car there."
Well, that was all Faith needed to hear. Buffy riding her high horse. Making it seem like Faith was failing at something else; again.
Pulling to the stop sign, Faith checked for the go ahead.
While Willow and Buffy argued, Faith let her anger grow into confidence and she peeled from the stop sign in a hurry. The other cars that had once been beeping their annoyance at Faith, were now being passed up. Faith weeving through traffic as if she were a pro. Her hand gripped the wheel tightly, knuckles turning white.
Clinging onto their seats, Willow and Buffy both felt it best not to say anything and further irritate the brunette.
It took about five minutes before the crazy driving Mustang to pull to a hault. The brake skidding against gravel as it finally stopped.
"There!" Faith snapped, turning to stare at Buffy. "Get out of the car! You're at your damn appointment. We'll wait out here until you're done then take you home."
"I...I...um...well, that is, you can't." Buffy argued. Noticing the twitch of the drivers left eye, she immediately raised a finger to point at why Faith couldn't drive her home.
And that was the steering wheel.
Wedged in a Slayer tight grip.
Pulled from the dashboard, wires dangling from it.
"Oh, fuck." Faith groaned.
Xander had a good taste in cars alright.
A bad taste in women by far..
And now he had a bad taste in women driving his good car.