Disclaimer: The boys and their world aren't mine.

Summary: AU re-telling of a scene from Born Under a Bad Sign. Crack.

A/N: Another angsty scene, crackified for the Livejournal community spncrackfic Reversal Challenge, and a... not exactly a continuation of "Effanineffable Secret" (the eight part of my entry called "Conversations" here) but in the same AU. Probably best if you go read that first (it's okay, it's short), but all you really need to know is that Sam is a were-kitten.

Born Into a Bad Litter
by CaffieneKitty

"My head feels like it's on fire, Dean!"

Dean kept pointing the gun at Sam, but took a sidelong glance at his watch and hoped he was right about moonrise. "Just hang on a minute, Sam."

"SHOOT MEeeeeow!?"

The knife dropped point first, embedding into the floor next to Jo's foot. Sam disappeared like Obi-wan Kenobi stabbed with a lightsabre, clothes falling empty to the ground. Mostly empty.

Jo stared down at the slightly twitching pile of clothing and looked over at Dean. "What the hell did you do, Dean?"

"Me? Nothin'" Dean put his gun away and started rummaging through Sam's clothes.

"What? Where did, Sam was... Untie me dammit!" Jo thrashed against the pole in frustration.

"Just a sec. OW! You little..." Dean pulled up a yellow ball of hissing, snarling fluff with jet-black eyes. "Yeah, I thought so. Get out of my brother!"

"MROWR!" yowled the kitten, rotating around with feline flexibility to sink tiny, sharp teeth and claws into Dean's thumb.

"OW!" Dean said again. He reached into an inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a spray bottle. "Naughty kitten! Behave!" He sloshed the bottle, finger on the trigger.

The kitten, still gnawing on Dean's thumb in a valiant attempt to break the skin, growled and glared at Dean with black-eyed kittenish fury.

Dean smirked. "Seriously, you have no idea how long this might last, there's nothing you can do like this, oh, and by the way?" Dean shook the bottle again. "Holy water."


"Really. Wanna try me?" Dean's eyes glinted as he menacingly aimed the spray bottle at the kitten.

The demon-possessed kitten snorted in palpable disgust. A cloud of black smoke whooshed out of the tiny body and shot out through a window. In Dean's hand, the kitten blinked clear green eyes and sneezed.

"You okay there, Sammy?" Dean said, putting away the spray bottle of holy water to check Sam for injuries and scritch his transformed brother behind the ears.

"Could you at least pass me the knife?" said Jo, who, Dean reflected as he tousled his brother's fur, sounded a little annoyed. Tied to a post. Right. He transferred Sam to his left hand, picked up the huge knife and sawed Jo loose.

She stepped away from the post and rubbed her wrists, warily staring at the Winchesters, feline and non. "You turned your brother into a kitten?"

Dean pondered. Were-kittens probably didn't top many hunter's lists of things worth hunting down, but Sam's little furry problem didn't need to be advertised. "Naw, it's gotta be some kind of demon trick. He'll get over it."

Jo peered down at the ginger tabby kitten, leaning in close. "But... why would a demon want to..." Sam batted at the trailing ends of her long hair. "Aw, he's so cute!" She rubbed under Sam's fuzzy chin with a finger.

"Yeah, see? That's probably their plan. Disarm you with the cuteness then-" he made a striking snake motion with his fingers "-gotcha!"

Jo snatched her hand away and took a half-step back. Kitten Sam waved his paws after her retreating hair and then proceeded to try to crawl up the sleeve of Dean's jacket.

"So, yeah, anyways, Jo," said Dean, extracting Sam from his sleeve and settling him between his neck and the turned up collar of his jacket, "Nice to see you again and all that, but-" he bent and scooped up Sam's clothes and shoes, "-we gotta go now. Good luck with the new life."

"But I, we, he... what?" said Jo as Dean pushed out the door and into the night.

Dean fished through Sam's pockets looking for keys as he walked across the parking lot to the Impala. "You do that disappearing thing again, Sam, I swear, we're going to the nearest vet and you are getting a microchip tracker implanted."

Curled up around Dean's collar, Sam just purred and shed fine yellow hairs down the back of his brother's neck.

- - -
(that's it)