100 Years to Live
15 there's still time for you
I sat there in the bed, looking through old pictures. Edward and myself at prom senior year. The summer after that we spent on a small island the Cullen's owned. Edward and his family sparkling in the sun next to my burnt pasty self.
Jake and my wedding pictures.
School pictures of both Peter and Elizabeth.
"Have you heard from them lately?" Jake asked behind me, rigidly sitting down next to me. Even though he was younger than me he was aging much faster than me, mostly because of his wolf side. According to Jake, being a werewolf was great when you were young but it sucked once you got past your sixties.
Of course he wouldn't admit to feeling way past his age but he was the reason why I forced us to move to the retirement facility.
"Yeah, Elizabeth sent me an email the other day, Jobi and Jenna are doing fine at the new school and Nate got a great job in town," Elizabeth had moved to Lincoln, Nebraska with her twins Jobi and Jenna and husband Nate, "She said she felt bad about not being able to help us move but I told her not to worry about it.
"And Peter is dating a new girl, I think it was a Lena this time. He actually seems kind of serious about it this time."
"Well, that's good," he kissed me on my wrinkled cheek, "I'm going to go take a nap, Bells, I love you."
"I love you too, Jake," I put the more recent pictures back into their respective boxes and pulled out the ones of Edward and me again.
I wondered what he was doing right now. I found it hard to believe that he would still be looking after me even now, but I wouldn't put it past him.
Thinking about him, even after all this time was a hard thing to do, but he was such a substantial part of my life it was hard to ignore those years. For long lengths of time I wondered what my life would be like now if he had changed me when I had first asked him to. Would we be exploring far off countries together, hunting together at night, making love under the stars of some private island?
Which life would be more fulfilling for me? With Edward I would have stayed 19 or 20 for the rest of time, but I never would have had Elizabeth or Peter. I wouldn't have been able to see the milestones they made. I never would have been able to get the job I had. With Jake I was able to live a "normal" life, like Edward wanted. Of course there were a few differences, I was aware of the vampires and werewolves in the world and there were the mysterious donations of money made into my bank account every once in awhile.
I simply couldn't decide which would have been the better road to take. And maybe the road I chose was the only one, maybe Edward never planned to change me.
Maybe this was, in some way, shape or form, what he really did want.
I looked at our senior prom picture. Edward, the definition of gorgeous and me although made relatively beautiful by the hands of Rose and Alice I simply couldn't stand next to Edward.
As the pictures of Edward and me went on I started to notice that while I started to look older; my face thinning out, my gradual acceptance of hair products beyond shampoo and conditioner, Edward looked the same. A youthful, drop-dead gorgeous seventeen year old guy. In the last pictures the difference became even more noticeable.
Even if Edward had changed me in the end, I wouldn't have been truly happy looking so noticeably older than him.
22 I feel her too
"Ew, Alice! What the hell?" I asked her, I had been reading the latest New York Bestseller when vivid images of Alice and Jasper ran through my head. It took me a moment to realize that she was hiding something, "What did you see?"
She looked away from me, her small face covered worry and sorrow, "I can't tell you, Edward," she got up to leave but I grabbed her arm, she began to jerk her hand away when she suddenly stopped and looked me in the eye, "She's gonna die, okay? Don't try and go see her though, it's for the best."
"Alice, you know I can't just ignore that," my entire body ran cold, colder than it ever had been before. And yet, for some reason I was perspiring.
I ran out of the house and was to Bella's window in minutes, she was lying on her bed by herself, pictures spread out before her. One by one she would pick them up, smile softly, remembering something from the past. Something I wasn't involved in.
It was then that I noticed our senior prom picture, it was the one I kept framed on my wall, tucked safely in my wallet, displayed on the display panel of my car. Bella was glowing in the picture. I was hugging her from behind and her small hands were holding on to mine. Her hair was down and I remember that Alice had searched everywhere to find a scentless shampoo, I was able to smell only Bella.
Her scent intoxicated me. I remember thinking wryly to myself that the school had tried to so hard to have a sober prom night and yet sleeping next to Bella I felt drunk.
"You're there aren't you, Edward?" she asked out loud. My hands went to the window, "I don't want to see you," she said quickly, "I'm not mad at you, I just don't think I could stand seeing a seventeen year old you and here I am- dying.
"I just want you to know. I still love you. I'll always love you, whether there really is a heaven or not. And I hope that when I go you are able to find some sort of peace or happiness in knowing that I led a slightly normal life, I mean Jake and I weren't the Jones' or anything. But I got to go to college and have a job- and have children. And so, although I don't think that if you had changed me I would have regretted it for those reasons I do thank you for those reasons.
"I also hope that you are able to find someone that makes you happy, I want you to be happy. Just like you wanted me to be happy."
She closed her eyes and smiled, "Please go now, Edward. I really don't want you be here when it happens," she laughed, her small feeble shoulders shaking, "Could this be anymore morbid?"
I smiled, holding back the loud sobs that I knew were about to happen. I walked away from the window and into the nearby (and convenient) woods. I stayed close enough to listen to her delicate heartbeat slow and then stop. And with that taciturn I felt a pain shoot through my own chest, I fumbled to the ground, clutching were my cold dead heart was.
33 you're on your way
"Jas!" I ran into his office, ignoring his plea that we all knock first. I fell into his arms and began to sob, "I couldn't tell anyone. I should have. I shouldn't have told him. I shouldn't have let him go. I'm so sorry."
He wrapped his arms around me, I felt a wave of emotions coming off of him. Confusion, sorrow and fear, "Alice, darling, what's wrong?" he got up, still holding me and walked us over to the couch.
"Bella died," I started, figuring the best way to tell him was to let it fall out.
"Alice, I'm so sorry, but we did all know this would happen. And she led a great life."
I hit him the shoulder, I was pathetically angry with him for not understanding my point. The point I hadn't made yet, "I know that, Jasper! And I was prepared for her death. But I had to tell Edward, he was in the same room as me when I had the vision and he could tell I was blocking it. I couldn't just not tell him. And he went and I don't know what happened- but he died, Jasper. He died and I don't know how," I buried my face in his shoulder, chocking on the words and venom that filled my mouth.
Jasper's arms went limp, "Alice, I'm not doubting your visions. But, are you sure?"
"Yes, I saw him. Lying there on the ground, near her window. He's dead."
Jasper sat me and wiped my face out of habit, "You don't think he's in some sort of weird state of shock."
"When was the last time you heard of a vampire fainting from shock?"
"When was the last time you heard of a vampire dying?"
"But, I saw more, Jas. He's not with us anymore. And we have this plot for Bella and Edward and how am I supposed to tell everyone? I don't want to, they're going to be so sad. I can't be the bearer of this news."
Jasper kissed my forehead and then my cheek, "Don't worry, I'll tell them for you. Tell me where his body is, we'll have to get it before anyone finds it."
I gave him the information and then curled up on the chair, realizing what a huge endeavor Jasper had taken on for me. I suddenly realized why Edward had died when Bella had, because I knew that if Jasper were killed I would die too. Living without Jas not only seemed impossible, it was impossible.
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live.