Once upon a time, many long years ago, someone on my lj f-list called Ubertodd was having a bad day and asked for happyfic.

"Specifically things that make me happy. Like: Ice cream, beaches, geeky science, Lex, naked Lex, partially clothed Lex, people making fun of Clark, massages, people wearing disguises for humorous reasons, clumsy sex, kissing up against a wall, and soft rain with distant thunder.

So, yeah. If you all wanna write something that gives me happies, that would be super. Drabbles, ficlets, whatever you have time for."

"Lex," Clark whined, leaning against the doorjamb of the rented beach house. "Come on out for a walk with me. There's no point being on vacation if you don't leave the house."

Actually, Clark could think of a couple of fun ways to spend a vacation without leaving the house. Unfortunately, Lex didn't seem interested in those. The rental had apparently, once upon a time, been a drug lab or a mad scientist's lair or something; the kitchen was strangely equipped, to say the least, and Lex was totally getting his geek on. Clark wasn't sure where Lex had gotten hold of the chemicals he was cooking up, and he wasn't completely sure that what Lex was doing with them was entirely legal, either. He hoped he'd be able to contain and clean up any resultant explosions, if absolutely necessary.

"Hmm?" Lex asked. He was titrating some mixture of something. It suddenly turned lavender and stayed that way. "Ha!" Lex exclaimed, scribbled something in a notebook, and finally looked up at Clark. "What did you say?"

Clark sighed. "I'd like you to come out for a walk with me."

"Clark, it's raining!" A lightning flash was barely visible through the wooden blinds. "I didn't come two thousand miles to wander around in the rain like a lunatic! Unlike some people, I have sense enough to come in out of the rain!"

"You came two thousand miles to get away from work and relax. With me." The distant roll of thunder finally came.

"I am away from work, as you insisted, and I am relaxing."

"You're doing chemistry."

"Chemistry is fun!"

"Fine!" Clark finally got huffy. He'd worked hard to arrange a week off from being Superman, and even harder to force Lex away from his precious LexCorp long enough to come along. He'd spent hours on the phone (in the face of considerable mocking from Lois) arranging for the few people Lex trusted (mainly Gabe and Lana) to cover things at the company. Even faced with solid proof that LexCorp wouldn't wither up and blow away if he spent a week on the beach, Lex still had to be kidnapped to come along. Apparently, now Lex was going to be all grudge-holding and not play with him. "Have a nice time all shut up inside like this! Don't set anything on fire, or explode or anything! I'm going out for a walk! I'm going to get ice cream and not bring you any!" Clark stomped off. He was careful not to break the door when he slammed it.

An hour later he was back and in a much better mood. He'd walked all over the little seaside town, and waded in the ocean, and gotten wet up to the knees. The rain had stopped, and everything smelled wonderful. He'd eaten three ice cream bars and, contrary to his promise, he'd brought one back for Lex. Rainbow sprinkles.

The walls of the kitchen were covered with purple goo. Lex's ruined clothes formed a trail leading to the bathroom.

Clark superspeeded to see if Lex was okay. He found him just getting out of the shower, completely unharmed.

"What happened?" Clark asked.

"Nothing much. Little explosion. I'm fine."

"Good thing you have sense enough to come in out of the rain. Imagine. You could have gotten all wet. Your clothes might have been ruined."

"Shut up. You didn't let me bring a labcoat."

"I'm sorry. Brought you an ice cream bar."


"It stopped raining."

"I saw. Want to help me finish this ice cream, and then we can go out for a walk?"

"Actually, I had another idea," Clark said. He pushed Lex up against the wall and kissed him.