Outside the Box

One Elizabethan is seen, well dressed, sitting in some type of clothing store. He is Guildenstern, hereafter known as simply Guil. He has a bored expression and he is slouched in his seat. Another Elizabethan appears from within the fitting rooms. He is Rosencrantz, hereafter known simply as Ros. He is taller than his blonde companion and has a sweet, if not befuddled, expression.

Ros: What'd'ya think?

Guil startles and his eyes widen considerably. His eyes start at the shiny, black shoes and their brass buckles. He blinks in surprise at the knee-high white socks and short red plaid -- skirt? The collared white shirt and matching plaid bow. He pulls a hand through his hair, his eyes not leaving Ros.

Ros: (shrugging) I was going for the "naughty school-girl look." (He pulls at the skirt with his fingers. Guil does not speak, but remains silent, mouth hanging open.) So, what'd'ya think?

Guil: Um . . . . . nice buckles?

Ros: (pouting playfully as he swings at Guil. He misses.) Is that all you have to say?

Guil: What the hell?

Ros: Don't you like living outside the Box?

Guil: Is that your philosophy?

Ros: Do you believe in philosophy?

Guil: Why a skirt?

Ros: Isn't it cute?

Guil: (slaps forehead) Please, Rosencrantz, try to take this seriously!

Ros: (claps hands in delight) Point!

Guil mumbles under his breath. He stares a while at the shiny shoes, and then meets his friends eyes. Rosencrantz pouts a glossed lip and bats his eyelashes over dark, liquid eyes.

Guil: Don't.

Ros: Don't what?

Guil: Try that look. You know it doesn't work.

Ros: (sniffs indignantly) Yes it does.

Guil: Just pay attention, will you?

Ros: Don't you know I can't?

Guil: Are you stupid?

Ros: Can't you tell?

Guil: STOP!

Ros: (cocks his head to the side and studies Guil.) Point.

Guil: (growls menacingly) I can't stand you sometimes! (Ros stares out a window, his expression is familiarly blank. After a moment, he turns and saunters up to Guil.)

Ros: (singing softly and horribly off-tune) You like me. . . . you want to kiss me. . . . you want to hold me . . . (Guil is seething.)


Ros: You want to kiss me. . . . you like me. . . .


Ros: Huh?

Guil: Those aren't even the words! Sing it correctly if you are going to make my ears bleed with that horrid voice of yours!

Ros: (hangs head, mumbling) Sorry, Rosencrantz . . . Guildenstern. (A small tear leaks from the corner of his eye. It leaves a long black trail of mascara along his face.)

Guil: (approaches and wraps a teary Rosencrantz in his arms) Shhh, I didn't mean it. Don't cry, I hate to see you cry. (he wipes away the trail of makeup with a corner of his shirt)

Ros: (sobs) I feel so alone! (looks up at a concerned Guildenstern) I m-mean you d-don't even want to k--- (he is cut short when Guildenstern kisses him, ever so lightly, on the mouth.) --iss me.

The End.