A/N - I'm back. Thanks to those who waited. It was a shorter time than expected due to lots of whining on my behalf. Anyways I wanted to get something up A.S.A.P. I hope you guys enjoy. Important note. This wasn't edited by any beta and this is two chapters I decided to combine into one because of the wait. I appreciate all those faithful readers out there. ok. I'm done. On with the story.
p.s. -If anyone is willing to edit these two chapters for me for future readers I'd be very thankful because my beta went M.i.A. on me for the time being.
"You're not angry!" House said as if he was the one controlling Wilson's emotions.
House felt the room spinning, he was thankful for the pillar behind him in which he leaned on heavily in attempt to prevent the bout of nausea that had suddenly hit him. All the while Wilson was pacing the stinking living room with an ease House envied so much.
"You're right," Wilson scoffed. "I'm furious! House how can you hide this from me?" Wilson's eyes were tearing from all the emotions running through him. Actually the two most dominant ones anger and fear.
"You're not angry or furious or whatever god damn adjective you decide to use next!" House shouted back. "You feel guilty because you didn't see it, because you chose to ignore it!"
House pushed off the pillar and made his way towards the couch, leaning forward as to keep most of the support on the lumpy thing. It seemed that Wilson had absolutely no idea how much House was counting on the furniture for support, too engrossed in his own train of thought.
"When do you suppose I'd get the pleasure of knowing? When I get a call from some random doctor telling me that you're some incoherent son of a bitch who isn't in the right train of thought to order them to pull the plugs yourself?" Wilson scoffed out loud. "That would be such a House thing to do too. I can see it now. I'd be with Cuddy worrying about your stupid idiot egocentric…"
"I get it. You read the dictionary!" House said over Wilson's rant. He pushed off the couch and started towards his room.
Wilson saw this and immediately stepped in front of House, his shoulders squared, entire posture tense, as if ready for a fight.
"You don't get to run away from this House," Wilson said sternly.
"Like you did when things got to be too much last Christmas?" House countered his voice low and menacing.
"Yes, that's the exact same scenario right there," Wilson said rolling his eyes.
"Tell me how it's different smart ass," House said pushing past Wilson.
It was more a stumble and trip over Wilson, but if he didn't get to a wall he knew that this argument would be cut terribly short due to the fact he was having one of his own with the floor. House leaned against the wall, allowing his head to fall back against the wall. Wilson was talking again, but House had no idea what about.
"It's different because I was scared that you wouldn't get the hint if I didn't leave you…" Wilson droned on.
"Oh bull shit," House said effectively stopping Wilson. "You left me because you were tired all of my shit and you realized you didn't have to deal with it so you walked out."
"No I was tired of your shit, and I knew I had to deal with it so I dealt with it the best way I knew how," Wilson reasoned.
"By turning me in to Tritter? By handing me on a silver platter? Is that your idea of handling it the best way you knew how? Stevey could do a better job than you."
"Oh don't go high and mighty on me House. Don't pretend your some sort of victim in this entire situation. You were the one lying on the ground that Christmas. You were the one with too much Vicodin in their body. You were the one with the alcohol lying besides you pathetically. That was you!" Wilson accused.
"Then you're the victim then right? Poor Wilson how could he ever handle being House's friend," House exaggerated. "Does being my friend somehow resolve your stupid little martyr complex?"
"Is that what you think this friendship is about? Me trying to resolve some nonexistent martyr complex?" Wilson asked indecorously.
"Why else would you want to be my friend?" House asked, his eyes a stormy blue.
The screaming was getting to House's head. Leaning on the wall was no longer doing any good as the surroundings circled around him. He wasn't sure if Wilson was talking or not due to the pounding headache he had gotten over the duration of the past few minutes.
"House?" Wilson asked, his voice no longer defensive.
He was at House's side in an instant, slinging House's arm over his shoulder, taking them towards House's bed.
"I'm still mad at you," House muttered.
"Jesus Christ House where the hell are you coming from?" Wilson asked gently laying House down.
"Ablation…" House said weakly.
"Go to sleep House. You need it. You should have told me. God, I shouldn't have confronted you like that," Wilson said the guilt starting to eat him up.
"Wilson," House said.
Wilson looked up from where he was taking House's shoes off. "Huh?"
House awoke to the sounds of his growling stomach. The door was shut tight, but the glow of the TV seeped in through the crack at the bottom. He looked to the side to see a Vicodin pill laying on his night stand besides a glass of water. He swallowed the pill gratefully, hesitating for a second before taking a gulp of the water.
House poked his head into the living room to see Wilson staring blankly at the TV. Around him were different books from the library, highlighted and annotated along with a notebook full of writing, and a laptop half shut.
"I don't think you're allowed to do that with library books," House pointed out staring wearily at the highlights.
Upon closer inspection House realized that all the books were medical journals, on cancer. He shook his head, though not surprised. "Especially if that's coming from Cuddy's library."
"Oh well," Wilson said clearing the couch a little. "You want anything?"
"Food would be good," House said walking towards the kitchen.
"Figured you'd be hungry. I cooked some lasagna earlier," Wilson said following House into the kitchen.
"What time is it?" House questioned, noticing that the neighbors' lights were all off.
"It's about 2:30 in the morning."
"I slept that long?" House asked surprised.
Wilson gave a small smile. "Yeah you were pretty out of it. I came to check on you a couple of times."
"You were the one who kept waking me up," House accused with a smile to show he was kidding.
Wilson scoffed. "Please, you were snoring half the time I came to check and drooling the other half."
"Has anyone ever told you that you have no life?" House asked sticking his food in the microwave.
"Ah the kindness, it's overwhelming," Wilson said sarcastically.
"I can be the next Mother Theresa," House continued on.
"Pushing it House," Wilson said handing House a fork.
"Ok, I'll settle with Ghandi," House reasoned.
"Because you're all for non violence right?" Wilson said keeping the banter light.
"Yeah man," House said sarcastically. "Peace on earth all the way bro!" House imitated a California surfer.
Wilson allowed himself to give a hearty laugh at House's impression. He watched House pick at his food a couple of times. House only took a mere three bites before he pushed his plate away. Wilson sighed. When was the last time House ever really ate?
"Not hungry?" Wilson asked going for the plate.
He picked up the fork but had no intention of eating. He just added to the design of the already pushed around food created by House. Wilson just needed something to do, anything to take his mind off the present.
"Are you going to ask me all those stupid questions that I know you have to ask?" House asked getting straight to the point.
"No Wilson, I'm not hungry, but thank you for cooking me something," Wilson said looking up from the food towards the ceiling talking to no one in particular. "Oh I'm glad you liked it House."
"Should I be worried?" House questioned earning an eye roll from Wilson.
"Cancer huh," Wilson started rubbing the back of his neck, unsure of what else to say.
"Yeah that mass in my liver. That's what they say it is," House said with a smirk.
"Shut up," Wilson rolled his eyes, though gave a small smile.
"Crap…the awkward silence is going to start again isn't it?"
"You were the patient that Bilritz was talking about…"
"I'm touched…really I am," House sneered. "Stupid idiot doesn't know what patient confidentiality is."
Wilson laughed out loud. "Oh and you follow everything by the book. Seriously House, have you even attempted to read over any sort of code of ethics?"
"I don't want to be bald," House said, his head dipping down.
Wilson blinked in amazement. Did House just admit to something? "Not everyone goes bald," Wilson said dumbly.
"I'm a doctor too you know," House deadpanned.
"Sorry. I just…"
"You just have no idea what to say so you'll say whatever comes to your mind," House said getting up and putting the plate away.
"Wait," Wilson said jumping up. He wagged a finger in disbelief, his voice a bit high. "You're not actually going to clean that are you?"
"Why Wilson, why would you ever think I'd steal your job?" House admonished.
Wilson did House's dish because he knew that's what he did. He did it because it was something he could do. He knew that the next couple of weeks were going to be hell on their friendship, on House, so he decided to cherish what he had while he could. This…this light atmosphere…this would be gone before he knew it.
-- New Chapter --
"Wilson?" Cuddy poked her head into her head of oncology's office to find his hands covering his face. "I thought I heard something," Cuddy said dumbly.
It was only five thirty in the morning and for the most part there were no signs of life on the office floors, except the tiny light that had peeked through closed doors. Cuddy came in early to make sure the cleaning staff did their job due to the fact benefactors were coming in that morning. She had walked in with only one place in mind. There was one place the cleaning staff wouldn't go to, no matter how much she pleaded. After one mistakenly misplaced a certain tennis ball House came charging into their dingy lounge in the basement to yell at each and every single one of them. He gave all of them a warning to stay away from his office, a warning that could be heard clearly in the clinic, one floor up.
Then again, no one really ever wanted to step foot into that office and lounge. No one wanted to ever face the wrath of House, and Cuddy didn't blame them. House made it clear that no one except a certain handful was to step foot into that office ever again after the gun shot incident. Much to Cuddy's horror he made this announcement four times over the course of one day, practically shouting, ignoring the terrible feedback from the p.a. system.
After that it was only Foreman, Chase, Cameron, Wilson, House and herself walking in and out of the office. Nurses who wanted to talk to House's team would page them; send a message along with Wilson, anything as long as it meant not coming within ten feet of the office.
Cuddy had to come in early to vacuum, because she didn't know when the last time House actually operated a vacuum was. She did the dishes that had been accumulating because Foreman and Chase always turned a blind eye. And finally she had placed a rug over the horrid blood stained carpet in attempt to hide it.
She was actually on her way out when something caught her attention. It sounded almost like a sob, and a hiccupped breath of air being sucked in. It was faint, and if there was any one else on the floor she would have missed it entirely, but there was no one. The floor was void of lights, except for the few emergency ones that were always kept on. It was only on her second look around did she notice a dim light coming from the crack in Wilson's office.
"Cuddy!" Wilson said in surprise.
He straightened up, ripping his hands from his face. He stood nearly knocking his chair straight through the wall.
"Uh…what are you doing here so early?" Wilson asked tripping over his words, unconsciously rubbing his eyes.
"I was cleaning House's office…what are you doing here?" Cuddy asked walking into the room to examine Wilson more closely.
"I got some work to catch up on," both Wilson and Cuddy looked down on his desk to see only one file open.
"Gregory House," Cuddy read out loud. "Wilson is everything ok?"
Wilson laughed, shaking his head, his eyes speaking volumes. Cuddy felt like Wilson was crying in front of her, but there were no tears coming out of his eyes. But his eyes, his eyes expressed so much more emotion than Wilson was capable of verbally.
"No," he said defeated. "Have you ever been so caught up on some little thing that you completely miss something big?"
Cuddy gave a questioning look carefully choosing her words. "We all have James. It's only human."
"I don't know anymore Lisa. I just don't. I'm supposed to be his best friend," Wilson said passionately.
Wilson was pacing now. His hand rubbing his neck so fast that Cuddy was convinced that would chaff later on. She waited for him to continue, but he didn't. All he did was go in circles, almost degrading himself.
"Hey," Cuddy said trying to catch Wilson's attention. "James."
Wilson stopped to look up at her. What he saw was an overwhelming amount of concern. She patted the couch motioning him to sit beside her. Wilson reluctantly sat, his hands immediately covering his face.
"Hey," Cuddy said gently taking his hands into hers. She waited for him to make eye contact, and when he did she felt like someone had just taken the wind from her. His eyes were huge. She could almost see his broken heart in them. "Slow down James. Whatever House did it wasn't your fault."
"It is my fault. I should have known. I'm his best friend. His fucking best friend! I should have known. He was right. What kind of pathetic friend am I?"
"No!" Cuddy shook her head. "You are a good friend James. If I could pick anything to describe you I'd pick above human, above doctor, above head of oncology, I'd pick good friend." Wilson's eyes lit up a little at the compliment, and Cuddy couldn't help but give a small smile as Wilson gave a shy one. "You want to tell me what's going on?"
"House should really be the one to tell you," Wilson noted.
"If we're going to wait for that we might as well wait for someone to defy the laws of physics," Cuddy said.
Wilson smirked. "That's House for you."
Cuddy smiled warmly. "So are you going to tell me or am I going to have to wait for Newton to be disproved?"
"Remember the cancer stunt he pulled?" Wilson started, waiting for Cuddy to remember. Once she nodded he continued. "We were talking on Saturday and I don't know it just clicked."
"What?" Cuddy said confused.
"Everything. I mean the progressive weakness, his loss of appetite, sudden lost of what little interest he had in grooming. It was staring us in the face. Even if you guys didn't see it, I should have…especially me."
"Just because you're his best friend doesn't mean…."
"But I'm also an oncologist. The head of the freaking department for crying out loud!"
"House has…" Cuddy started not finding the heart to finish.
"Liver cancer. Apparently he found out a few days before Christmas…during the Tritter fiasco," Wilson finished.
"Oh my…" Cuddy gasped unable to keep the surprise from her voice. "It's almost October."
Wilson nodded. "Yeah, that's what I said."
"How is he?" Cuddy asked.
"He went for ablation therapy on Friday. I was in his house waiting for him Saturday afternoon just to talk to him but I found that instead," Wilson pointed to the file on his desk.
"Can I?" Cuddy asked heading for the file.
Wilson nodded and waited for her to bring it back. She read over it quickly, her eyes tearing up as she got further and further along. 8 centimeter tumor in the liver. Inoperable, clinical trial after clinical trial. The words popped out at her, poking at her eyes until they were overflowing with tears. She took in a deep breath trying to recollect herself.
"I talked to Bilritz over at Advocate…" Wilson couldn't finish his sentence after his voice broke at the mention of Advocate. He coughed to hide the sudden break. "House…"
"Sh, it's ok," Cuddy said hugging Wilson.
They don't know how long they sat there both engrossed in their own thoughts. It must have been awhile because there was a knock on Wilson's door and there was House, looking like he had just rolled out of bed, looked at himself in the mirror, and then decided to roll around in the bed once more.
He looked from Wilson to Cuddy before turning his attention to Wilson. "You told her!"
"Of course I told her. She needed to know." Wilson stated.
"House!" Cameron's voice called from the other side of the hall.
House hurriedly pushed his way in before shutting door yelling, "Threesome, sorry Cam, you had your chance."
Wilson and Cuddy rolled their eyes. Wilson pushed House aside gently before opening door.
"What's up?" Wilson asked, though not making any motion to let her in.
"Tell House that some doctor named Bilritz has called him, emailed him, and paged him five times within the past hour," Cameron said trying to peek over Wilson.
"Yup, thank-you," Wilson said shutting the door before she could say anything else.
Cuddy started to talk but was quickly disrupted by House. "Cameron is still outside."
They stood there in silence until House dropped his finger, immediately going into his own rant. "You told her! How can you tell her. I told you that in secrecy."
"Are you kidding me?" Wilson practically screamed. "Let me get this straight. You know how much people care about you. Your team kept choosing to examine your test results over a dying patient over and over again. They stayed up all night staring at your file…"
"It wasn't my file."
"They were under the pretense that it was yours. House, look around, you're a jackass, an inconsiderate son of a bitch doctor who just happens to have people around him that care. Sometimes I don't even know why. But we're here. And you weren't even going to tell us until you were dead," Wilson said rekindling the fight that wasn't quite finished.
"It was none of your business to begin with," House said.
Wilson threw his hands up in the air in defeat. He let out a laugh that pierced through the room. "Yeah. You're right. It's none of my business. I shouldn't care that my best friend is dying. Really what in the world was I thinking?"
"Enough!" Cuddy said getting in between the two of them. "six year olds," she muttered.
"House you should call Bilritz," Wilson suggested throwing in the towel.
House nodded his head. "Fine but if either of you get mushy on me do not hold me responsible for the actions of my cane."
House sat in his own office, his hand on the phone. He made no action to pick it up and dial a number he had memorized over the past couple of weeks. Wilson knew. Cuddy knew. In a span of less than 72 hours two people, probably the two people who cared for him the most knew. It didn't feel as liberating as he imagined it to be. Then again he had gotten bored one day and browsed through a self help book in Bilritz's waiting room. It said something of trust in people is liberating. Some load of horse crap he was shooting.
He knew Cuddy wouldn't tell anyone, but Wilson. Cameron had this way of convincing him, and well Cameron couldn't keep her mouth shut if her life depended on it. House groaned at the thought of Cameron's future smothering. Just thinking about it was suffocating.
The phone rang disturbing House's thoughts. A quick glance at the caller ID told him it was Bilritz. "Pizza Hut, may I take your order?"
"Hardy har har," Bilritz chuckled over the phone. "Hi to you too Greg."
"What's up? I saw you called me a bunch of times."
"I left you a message to call back as soon as possible."
"Well what's the fun in that?" House asked innocently. "If it was important enough you'd keep calling, and judging by the fact I am on the phone with you right now…" House let the sentence trail off.
"I got your test results in," Bilritz started preparing to tread through thin waters.
"I've already memorized this chat. I go, "how bad is it?" and then you go "I think you should come in Greg." And then I go "fine I'll be there soon." And then you hang up, and I do too. Did I get that right?" House assumed.
"Am I safe to assume telling you to bring a friend would be useless?"
"It's not good to assume Dr. Bilritz. If I don't take this person I have a feeling they might break down your door," House smirked hanging up the phone.
House stood and walked the 500 feet towards Wilson's office, barging in ignoring the surprised looks of the couple sitting across the desk from Wilson. Wilson glared at him before muttering a small apology.
"Get up Jimmy. We're going out," House said before looking towards the couple. "Sorry, I need a consult. Life and death you know with all the cancer…" Wilson shoved House out of the office before he could say anything else.
I have three different documents that could serve as the next chapter. I have to decide which one I like better, but it is 35 complete and release date depends on my beta. Thanks once again.