Tales from Oblivion -

AN: Thanks for the positive reviews! If not for these I would
have dumped this story into the- realm of delete- files.

The following I will thank-

XxBrooklynnxX - Author of Spider-Man's Blog - Yes, this game has me
hooked to the point that simple things like eating and drinking are unimportant

Dead Corpse - Author of Red Eyes - I did play Marrowind a long,long
time ago, but for some strange reason I didn't like it that much.

Presto Brownie - Author of Ma'jhad and the Thieves Guild- Thanks for
your support. If Video Gallery calls you wondering why I haven't taken
back Oblivion yet, tell them you don't know me.

Shade-the-Hedgehog - Author of School Daze - Hope you like this
chapter. It will cover stuff, like things and other things. I hope that didn't
spoil it for you.

Chapter 3 - Anvil Guild - Loading -

Hey Jeffrey! Put yer clothes back on and play the game! This ain't
Leisure Suit Larry!!

Jeffrey has decided to stop farting around for once and HELP these people, afterall, how can you advance in this game if you have no completed quests. The answer is, you can't. Thus, let's go help the people in Anvil, onward dark elf! Jeffrey is inspired and has
discovered he can walk all the way there. After walking for six days his inspiration has dwindled a tad.

"Pwew! That was a long walk. " Jeffrey says as he enters Anvil. Nobody is glad to see him.

So I walk into this Mage's Guild, sounds interesting eh? I walk up and talk to Carahil, I am informed of murders and kidnappings that are happening along he Gold Road! (Not the yellow brick one. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that wasn't funny. )

"Hey," Carahil says, "How about you become the (cough)ait for this mission?"

I question the cough over, " The what? "

"You know, be the bait. You get killed and we solve the mystery." Carahil offers.

I could be a Guild member for this, I must consult Scooby and the gang for assistance. I accept the suicide mission.

With pride and a new sense of purpose, I venture ou...RING! RING! Damn

"Hello! " I scream.

"Hey, Jeff. Think you'll be coming back to work sometime this month. " My boss inquires.

"Leave me alone! I'm on a mission ! " I scream, the excuse was good

Let's continue...

I check out my mission quest diary. I need to speak with Arielle Jurard at the Brina Cross Inn north of Anvil. Hmm, what way is north? I bump into this guy wearing a blue shirt.

"Hey, watch it! " I scream taking out my clay cup?

"You! If you don't mind do you think you can take this game back to Video Dome ?! You've had it for a month, OTHER people might want to play it! " The Video Dome manager said, I took out my bow and arrows and started shooting like Rambo. I think one of the arrows hit him in the leg, I somehow lost one of my arrows when I went back to retrieve them all, all seven of them. I think
there's a homeless man around here with an arrow sticking out of him, I should add this to my mission diary to retrieve that arrow.

Where was I ? Oh ya! Arielle.

I was talking to her when she said, " For some unholy reason, you need to stay overnight at the Brina Cross Inn , while posing as a travelling merchant! " Well, that sounds cool!

After talking to the inn guy and sleeping in the Inn, Cristophe tells me I need to head to Krotch and they'll set up a double ambush. I think he said Krotch, or Kvatch, or something, I wasn't paying attention.

I wake up the next day and somebody had TAMPERED with my damn diary!! I accused several people in the Inn but was red faced when the Inn Keeper told me that I updated my own diary in my sleep. My diary told me to head up the road now, and try not to get killed. On the way out I jump up on a table with two people talking away, I calmly kick off the plates and they smash on
the floor. Then I kick over the glass, and another one, then some food, I kick the food around for no apparent reason. But they just sit there, then continue a boring conversation, what the hell? Ah well, some people are so passive! "So Herp-ik III, what were we planning tonight? Where did my food go? Why is that man kicking my breakfast around? "

I walk for a long time up the path. Waiting, watching for some grand attack. I keep walking. Suddenly! I keep walking. Nothing is happening, am I going in the wrong direction? Oh wait! There's my best friend Caminalda, we had a great time last night talking about inventory, I was so drunk I didn't notice her telling me the same response over and over again.

"Yo!! Word up Camelmeat, or whatever yer name was! " I yell.

"BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!! " She screams and flips out at me, I don't really remember why she hates me so much but an all out brawl is taking place all of a sudden. She's kicking my bow and arrow clad buttocks, I try to bravely run away when my other buddies have shown up and start unleashing MORTAL KOMBAT all over her!! Excellent !! Finish her!!

After they totally slay her, they calmly walk away like nothing just happened. Wow, they sure are level headed. I loot the evil ice queen and take all of her stuff. The very last item was some kind of knee buckle or something, I picked it up and suddenly I couldn't move!! I tried to walk but I had so much inventory I was weighed down!!

"Hm, maybe I should drop these 15 apples and 187 dinner plates and 348 scrolls. " I start throwing my items all over the place, when I notice something, I CAN WALK AGAIN!!

I'm now a member of the mage guild. I find out that I can steal at my leisure, I suppose they don't mind thieves in the guild.

I start to get antsy again and must revert to a trouble making swine that I was before I became all heroic, even though my buddies did all the work for me. I decide to walk outside and fall asleep in the middle of the street for 11 hours. I wake up and it's the middle of the night, MWA HA HA HA! Time to wreck havoc in this...wait a minute, everyone is gone, dang!!

Maybe I'll just break in to some place and calmly murder someone. Then rob them.

I try the first I door come to, it's locked and I realize I don't have the skills needed to open the door. I check my inventory.

Of the 2367 things I find three lockpicks!! An M-16 Machine Gun , a B.F.G 3000, a sword, a shield , a few dozen eggs. Excellent!!

When I try to pick the lock I can somehow see directly inside the locking
mechanism. I jimmy the lock to try and open it.

"Hey! " A raspy voice cuts through the darkness behind me.

"What? " I say.

"That's such a copy from Splinter Cell! " Sam Fisher says as he points a gun at the back of my head.

"You mind telling me what the hell the name of this town is? I was supposed to be in Australia but I made a wrong turn. " Sam Fisher is such a nice guy.

Meanwhile The Gates of Oblivion are still open! Guards are waiting
outside the gate shooting at any demon that comes popping out, where is the
hero ?? He's running around Anvil punching villagers and guards in the face, now there's a large line of people chasing him around cheesed off, it's the funniest thing Jeffrey has seen since the classic Benny Hill chases. There's at least twelve of them now!! Help me!!!

So if there's a gate there that spits out demons, why are the guards waiting for each one to come out? Why can't they just move a pile of boulders directly in front of the hole so when they come out they are buried, or blocked ?

Who knows?

Thanks for playing Oblivion. Press Start to review . Press up up down down
left right left right B A Start to get 99 lives in Contra. Press power and pour water into the console to gain access to the Fighters Guild.
(don't do that, maybe I should delete that last part.) I'll think about


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