A/N: Sorry for not updating in like a week guys (or however long I've been dead :B ) but I've been wrapped up in stupid summer school. But, the scalding hot weather today inspired me to write this lame little oneshot. XD
(Title inspired by OK GO. lol. )
So Damn Hot
"Dude… I can't take it… so… hot…" Cartman panted, sprawling out under a tree at Starks Pond.
Kyle wiped his forehead and sat on a shady part of the grass with Stan. "You complaining about how hot it is out doesn't help anything," Kyle moaned.
"Screw… you… Jew…" Cartman wheezed, pulling a dandelion out of the grass lazily.
"Ngh- Cartman is right, though!" Tweek said, leaning against a tree trunk shakily. "It's hot as hell out! I can't take it! What if I get heat stroke?" he asked frantically, brushing his hair as far from his warm face as possible.
"You aren't going to get heat stroke, Tweek," Craig said, pressing his hands against his neck and raising an eyebrow at Kenny and Clyde getting 'friendly' in the pond. "Only old people get heat stroke."
"That's not true!" Tweek cried, fanning himself with his hand. "I heard of a twenty year old in Denver who got heat stroke last year!"
"Well, you have four years to go, then," Stan said, rubbing the back of his sweaty neck with both hands.
"Alright, Tweek! If you're so worried about over heating, let's go get some ice cream," Craig suggested. "Does anyone wanna come?"
"Oh, God dude. There's no way I'm moving from this spot," Cartman breathed, still lying under the tree.
"More like you can't move, fatass," Kyle said with a mocking grin, inviting a laugh from Stan.
"Aye, you buttfucker!"
Craig rolled his eyes and rubbed his hands together. "Right. We'll see you guys later, then," he said, gesturing for Tweek to follow him as he began trudging away in the beating sun.
"Ngh- oh, God!" Tweek said, twitching and hurriedly following his best friend.
"I wish Clyde would just admit he's a homo already," Craig said, holding a hand over his eyes like a visor to the suns rays as he and Tweek walked.
"Ngh- what?!" Tweek cried, trying to cover up his exposed arms from the sunlight.
Craig laughed. "I've seen Kenny make passes on him and he's never exactly objected to any of them," he said, breathing into his hands.
Tweek cocked his head at that and blinked nervously. "What are you doing?"
Craig raised his eyebrows at his blonde friend. "Oh, well, you know. My hands are cold all the time," he said, sticking his thumbs into his jeans' pockets.
Tweek twitched and widened his eyes. "Oh, God! Your hands are cold in this weather?! That's insane! That can't be healthy! You must have circulation problems!"
Craig grinned and shrugged. "Meh, doesn't matter. At least a part of me can always stay cool in the summer."
Tweek looked up thoughtfully and twitched. "Yeah, I guess that would be a plus. I kinda wish my hands were cold right now! Every part of me is boiling!" he cried.
Craig stared at his best friend for a moment. "Well, I have freezing hands, and you're over heating. I think the solution to this is simple," he said, smirking. He raised his hands and wiggled his fingers at Tweek.
Tweek leaned away and stared at Craig in horror. "What? Oh, Jesus! What are you talking about?!"
Craig moved behind the jittery blonde and didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around Tweeks front and slide his hands underneath his shirt.
"That's better!" Craig said innocently, trailing up Tweeks bare chest smoothly.
"Nnngh! Oh, God…" Tweek gasped at the sudden intruding cold, shaking like nuts now. He stopped walking and held his hands awkwardly under his face, not knowing what to do. He turned his face to Craig and blushed, just adding to his already red complexion from the sun.
"Well? Does that feel any better?" Craig asked with a smile, running his index fingers over Tweeks nipples and pressing down on them.
"Mmm… nnngh-" Tweek moaned, subconsciously lowering his hands and placing them on Craig's hips. The blonde sighed from the pleasant coolness of Craig's fingers roaming his hot skin.
Craig's smile widened and he ran his hands over Tweeks ribs softly, inviting a giggle from the blonde.
"Craig!" he said, turning his head again and smiling.
"What?" Craig asked, smiling right back and running his fingertips over Tweek's jutting hip bone.
Craig stopped teasing Tweek and brought him into a simple hug from behind. They both turned their heads towards the voice, Tweek's expression much more panicked than Craig's.
"Oh, God! It's Cartman!" Tweek cried, trying to force Craig's hands out of his shirt with no success.
"Yeah," Craig said, turning back to Tweek and staring back at him.
Tweek couldn't help but smile at Craig's devious expression. "I'll never live this down if he sees me this way."
Craig returned the smile and trailed along Tweek's waistband and sighed. "Kay."
Craig reluctantly let go of Tweek and turned to Cartman, who was accompanied by Stan and Kyle.
"What were you two pillow biters just doing?" Cartman asked, raising a brow as he walked towards them.
"Ngh!" was all Tweek managed to get out, twitching and tugging his hair.
Craig smirked and flipped Cartman off. "I thought you guys didn't wanna come?" he said, ignoring Cartman's question.
Kyle shrugged. "We changed our minds. Come on," he said, walking past Craig and Tweek.
"Mmhm," Craig murmured, following the Jew. He met Tweek's embarrased gaze as he passed him and threw him a wink.
A/N: Okay, yeah. That was a slack ending but I gotta go get a few hours of sleep before more shitey school. XD GOODNIGHT EVERYONE.