I don't own RGB (I wish I did 'cause it'd jolly well be out on DVD by now) they belong to Sony/Columbia (unfortunately).
Think of this story as deleted scenes from the episode "The Devil in the Deep" by J.M. DeMatteis with actual scenes adapted from the episode in order to link my story together.
I really wanted to address the reason why it seems Egon doesn't seem to notice that Janine is wearing a bikini in said episode. It appears to me as if he's trying very pointedly not to look at her, because he thinks she's hot and that scares him, not use to thinking like that.
Viva Janine and Egon's romance! Got it?!
She Wore an Itsy, Bitsy, Teeny, Weeny...
It was hot, 101 degrees Fahrenheit to be precise. New York was experiencing the worst heatwave of the decade. The city was having mysterious water shortage problems too.
Janine Melnitz secretary to the illustrious Ghostbusters hated the heat, hated it more than anything in the whole world. (She didn't even dislike Doctor Venkman that much.)
She decided that she'd be damned if she was gonna sit around that Firehouse all day, boiling like an egg.
So she went to work prepared. She did wonder however how her bosses would react, especially Doctor Egon Spengler... Would he even notice? Or would he be so wrapped up in his work that he wouldn't even spare her a glance?
She shrugged as she pulled up outside Ghostbusters Central in her red Volkswagen. She picked up her bag, took the key out of the ignition, got out of the car, locked it and went into the Firehouse.
A uniformed Doctor Peter Venkman came out of his office as Janine entered the old building. He was expecting a reporter, who was coming for an interview with the Ghostbusters for "Celebrity Magazine."
However the sight that greeted his deep green eyes was the last thing he expected to see...
Janine was wearing a loose fitting, long flowing, floral printed, cotton dress, a pair of dainty white sandals and white-rimmed glasses. Peter had to admit she did look quite fetching.
He wolf whistled as Janine reached her desk and placed her bag on it. "Lookin' good, Melnitz," he said and waggled his eyebrows. "But why are you dressed like that on such a hot day?"
"Because it's a cool dress Doctor Venkman," she retorted. "But that's not the only reason why."
"Oh yeah? What's the other reason why?" Peter inquired, narrowing his eyes.
"You know, you should really learn to mind your own business Doctor V," Janine's Brooklyn accent drawled. "But if you must know, I thought I should wear something over my bikini while driving to work."
"Bikini?" Venkman blinked. "You mean you're gonna take that dress off and strut about here in nothing but a skimpy bikini all day?"
"You got it."
Peter smirked, "Oh this I gotta see. And there's someone else who should too."
Janine raised an eyebrow. Uh-Oh she thought.
"Eeegonnn!" Venkman shouted at the top of his lungs, while looking up. "There's something down here you should see!"
"Doctor Venkman..." Janine hissed. But it was too late because she then heard Egon shout back...
"What is it?!"
"Nevermind! Just come and have a look!"
"Can't it wait?! I'm busy right now?!" Egon sounded somewhat irritated at being called out to.
"Not really!" Peter urged.
"Alright! I'll be down in a minute!" Egon conceded.
Venkman turned back to Janine with a sly grin plastered all over his face and winked. "There you go Janine... I've set the stage for you, now go play your part on it."
The annoyed secretary crossed her arms, tapped her foot, glowered and stuck out her tongue at him.
Peter just snickered at her reaction. He went over to the nearby couch, sat down and pretended to read the day's paper, when in reality he was gearing up to observe the ensuing fireworks.
Janine sighed and resigned herself to getting ready. She went around to the side of her desk where her chair was. She kicked off her sandals and dug a tanning lamp out of her bag, set it up on the desk, aiming it towards the chair, and plugged it into a nearby socket. She reached into her bag again and fished out some books, her prescription sunglasses and a bottle of lemonade. She placed the books and lemonade on her desk and exchanged her normal glasses for the sunglasses. She stood back, surveying her work.
That'll do she thought, satisfied and turned her back to the stairs Now for the final item...
Egon was coming down the stairs at that point and what he saw stopped him cold.
There was Janine Melnitz, the scarlet-tressed woman he secretly admired, unzipping the lovely dress she was wearing.
His eyes widened with shock. He tried to speak but found his voice had mysteriously vanished and all his jaw did was drop. His mind however reeling managed to scream loudly at him Oh my god! silence for a couple of seconds She's... No! She couldn't be! He watched with fascination that shamed him as she finished unzipping the dress and began lowering it down off her shoulders. She is! She's stripping! He couldn't tear his eyes away from the mesmerising scene taking place before him, no matter how much his sense of decency said he should.
Janine's dress then fell slowly to the floor, revealing to Egon the bikini she was almost wearing.
He gulped when she bent over to pick up her dress. The tiny bikini bottom barely covered her tight rear end.
Janine felt the piercing blue eyes belonging to Doctor Egon Spengler, the tall blond man she made no secret about admiring, staring at her.
His eyes were so intense she could always feel them upon her, even when she couldn't see him.
She smirked a little, then she put on her best beguiling and innocent look and, standing straight up, turned around to face him.
He was wearing his blue with pink trim jumpsuit, workboots and of course his classic, red-rimmed, round spectacles.
He appeared to have a mixed look of awe and astonishment on his chiselled features. He didn't, couldn't, it seemed, move a muscle as she tossed her dress onto the desk with a flourish and gracefully sauntered over to him, determined to make an impression on him he'd never forget.
Egon swallowed hard as Janine got closer. Her slight frame was scantily clad in that impossibly small bikini. It was yellow with a pattern of browny-orange rectangular shapes printed on it. The bottom half was hanging off her hips in such a way that Egon feared it'd fall off her at any second. As for the top half it was so small that Egon could clearly tell she had an abundant breast size. (They must have been at least 16B.) While barefoot he could see she had lovely, petite feet and her legs, while short, were perfectly shaped. Her skin glowed with a healthy, pinkish tinge and her bare midriff showed her flat tummy, set off by a very sexy navel.
When she reached him he saw her sweet lips bore a soft pink lipstick and her eye-shadow was an aqua blue. She had funky, bulky green-rimmed sunglasses on. Briefly he wondered why she wore them considering she was inside. That train of thought got cut off when he smelled her exotic, frangipani scented perfume and his stomach flip-flopped because of it.
Egon couldn't deny Janine was an absolute vision, completely and utterly beautiful, lissom and sultry.
Janine lowered her sunglasses and lifted her eyes to look at Egon and delicate blue eyes met strong blue eyes.
Unable to resist the temptation to flirt with him she smiled saucily and flitted her eyelids. "It sure is hot today, huh Egon?"
Her emphasis on the word hot made his own temperature rise and he could feel his cheeks becoming flushed, no doubt from a blush, he realised.
The physicist stuttered like a fool who didn't know a word of English, "Umm... aghhh... yes I... uh... do believe the... aghh... ambient temperature just went up by at least... aghh... three point two five degrees." He squeaked out the last few words, making his normally deep voice sound abnormally high. He cleared his throat to correct the problem and half-smiled nervously.
Venkman, who'd been listening in, was highly amused by his best friend's flustered state, he peered over the top of the newspaper he wasn't really reading at that point and wolf whistled at Janine again just to stir up Egon. "Rowrrr, Janine! You look a real babe in that bikini. You should dress like that more often. Don't you agree, Egon?" and he winked cheekily at Egon.
Janine frowned, but didn't take her eyes off Egon, she wanted to gage his reaction over Peter's shameless comments.
Egon fixed the psychologist with a blazing stare that could've melted the polar icecaps. "Peter! How dare you-"
But Janine interrupted the admonishing tirade aimed at Venkman, saying in as soothing a voice as she could manage with her broad Brooklyn accent, "Ignore him Egon. He's just being his typically insufferable self."
Venkman ducked his head back down behind his paper and grinned smugly. He really does care about her. Ha! I knew it all along! Now I wonder just how long it's gonna take him to admit it... Knowing him, probably another six years... his mind joked, but he hoped it wouldn't take that long.
A little calmer, Egon adjusted his glasses and turned his attention back to the half-dressed, ravishing redhead.
He tugged on his collar with a kind of self-conciousness few could match as she climbed the five stairs it took to get to where he was standing. Her bikini covered breasts bounced slightly as she moved and he breathed in deeply.
"No wonder you're so hot, Egon," she purred seductively. "You're wearing your coveralls. I know from personal experience how restricting they can be. Let me help you to cool down."
Unbidden his pulse raced as Janine reached up to his uniform's zipper and slowly pulled down on it. Her actions were having the opposite effect of what she was attempting to achieve however because his temperature only got higher and his glasses fogged up, which he didn't even seem to notice, as he started to sweat.
She got about halfway and stopped. She stared lustily at his well-built, softly-haired chest. Unable to resist she placed a hand on it and felt his ever-increasing body heat. His heart was beating so fast she thought it'd leap right out of him.
Janine began unzipping him the rest of the way, but was halted by Egon's hand around her wrist. She almost whimpered with anticipation as he then surprisingly took her face in his hands and leaned in to gently kiss her plump lips with his own full lips.
They were about a centimetre away from each other when the doorbell rang.
Venkman "The Great Interrupter" shouted, "I'll get it!" making Janine and Egon who'd been so absorbed in the moment of their near kiss jump.
Peter chucked his paper onto the couch, got up and bolted over to the door. He opened it and drooled when he saw the pretty girl standing there. She had short, dark hair, brown eyes and wore a yellow shirt, purple jacket, shorts and boots.
She spoke in a dulcet voice, "Hello I'm Alyce Johnson from "Celebrity Magazine"." She offered him her hand.
Peter smiled charmingly as he shook her hand, "Of course, we've been expecting you. I'm Doctor Peter Venkman. This way, Alyce." He gestured toward his office.
She frowned. "Call me Ms Johnson," she told him, abruptly taking her hand back and headed over to the office.
Peter followed her, panting I'll be getting her number by the end of the day he thought, salaciously.
Meanwhile Egon was zipping his uniform back up. He looked at Janine with a strange longing she'd never seen on his face before.
He cleared his throat and his face went so red it blended in with the frames of his glasses. He smiled sheepishly and clumsily apologised to her, both for what almost occurred between them and for having to leave her presence, "I'm sorry Janine... I... uh... have to... aghh... go."
Trying to keep his sudden and unexpected arousal under control he went down the rest of the stairs, past her and strode over to Peter's office, breathing heavily as he did so.
Janine clenched her fists, bit her lower lip and stomped her foot out of sheer annoyance Dammit! the voice inside her head shrieked I was sooooo close!
She threw her hands up in the air as if to say: Why me?
She turned around and galloped, as fast as her legs would allow, over to her desk and jumped into her chair before Egon could reach Venkman's office. She swung her feet up onto her desk and crossed her legs in a languid manner.
Attempting to impress him again she picked up her lemonade, removed the cap and took a swig of it. When she finished she delectably licked the neck of the bottle and put it back down. She switched on her tanning lamp, picked up a book, smiled sweetly and winked playfully at Egon and started reading said book as if it were the most interesting thing on the planet.
Egon tried to ignore the primitive urge he was experiencing to forget all about his duties and spend the rest of the steaming hot day with the sumptuous, bikini-clad secretary he was feeling overwhelmingly attracted to at that moment.
He shook his head in an effort to reawaken his slumbering reasoning and resolved himself to attempt to not look at Janine for the remainder of the day.
He entered Peter's office as Peter was droning on about his life up until that point.
Alyce Johnson was already starting to look bored and was relieved when Egon came in and introduced himself, and they shook hands.
Peter cleared his throat and started talking about his favourite subject again... himself... "As I was saying..."
About two and a half hours later Peter Venkman was still yapping.
"I haven't told you about the complete nut, Gozer the Gozerian. Did we let that other-dimensional dictator topple a Western civilisation?" Venkman who was standing turned to face a seated Alyce Johnson. "Uh-Uh. We're Ghostbusters," he said looking overbearingly proud and placing a hand on his chest as if to say: And I'm the leader. "And when there's a job to do..." He looked sidelong at Winston Zeddemore, Doctor Raymond Stantz, both of whom had joined them about an hour ago, and Egon Spengler.
All three of them seemed tired and bored from standing there listening to Peter for so long.
Winston probed for wax in his ear.
Ray rubbed his eyes wearily.
Egon yawned loudly as if to emphasise his boredom.
"We do it," they chorused in a dull monotone, sounding like they'd heard it before.
Winston stuck his hands behind his back.
Ray thrust his hands into his pockets.
Egon folded his arms.
All three frowned.
Alyce felt their pain as she stared at Peter. "As fascinating as this is Doctor Venkman, "Celebrity Magazine" sent me to write an article about all of the Ghostbusters. But so far, I've only heard your voice." She looked at her watch with a sigh of frustration and commented caustically, "For the last two hours, twenty-two minutes and sixteen seconds, exactly."
Peter glanced around, then went over to stand between Ray and Egon. "Okay. I understand." He placed his hands on both their shoulders and patted Ray's shoulder by way of introduction. They did not look amused. "This is Doctor Ray Stantz, born in a log cabin to a humble family of-"
Whatever Venkman was going to claim was drowned out by the phone ringing.
Ray sighed with relief, "Saved by the bell."
Janine Melnitz, glad for the interruption herself, lazily answered the phone, "Ghostbusters." She swung her feet down from her desk and turned off the tanning lamp. "Oh?" she asked, bored, listening to the voice. She suddenly perked up out of interest and put her book down. "Oh! Of course, Your Honour."
She stood up, turned around and got up on her chair so she could look into Peter's office over the filing cabinet. She covered the phone's mouthpiece with her hand and stared in Peter and Egon's general direction, but her eyes were focused solely on Egon. She lowered her voice and said, "It's the mayor..." as if it were a big secret.
They all gazed at Venkman, who'd assumed the mayor wanted to speak with him, as he meandered out through the low swinging door of his office. "He probably needs advice about his love life again."
Janine seized the opportunity to gain Egon's attention once more. She snatched the phone away from Peter's outstretched hand. She scowled at Venkman and said loud enough for all to hear, "He wants to talk to Doctor Spengler."
Egon shot up an eyebrow Uh-Oh he thought. He gulped and went towards the door that would lead him to the phone and a voluptuous Janine.
Peter shrugged and strolled back into his office, passing an anxious Doctor Spengler on the way. "It's for you," Peter informed Egon as if he didn't know. Venkman glanced over at Alyce and admitted, "Politics is such a dirty business."
Trying his hardest not to gape at his lovely secretary Egon took the phone from her.
Janine sat down, crossed her legs, rested her head in the palm of her hand and leaned her elbow on the desk. She picked up her lemonade bottle, the third one of the day so far, and acted as if she was going to drink it. But all she really did was sigh and stare adoringly at her beloved Egon as he spoke to the mayor.
"Yes sir. I see. Hmm... Hmmn. I understand completely. Of course. Absolutely, Your Honour." Egon handed the phone back to Janine, still trying desperately not to look at her shapely body.
She graciously hung up for him, then continued admiring him.
He turned to face the others as they filed out of Venkman's office. "Apparently the city's water supply is haunted. They're getting reports from the five Burroughs at an astonishing rate."
Peter, Ray, Winston and even Alyce stared at him in askance.
There was silence for a moment.
A daydreaming Janine was thinking God he's cute! Hmm... If only we hadn't have been so rudely interrupted before... He was about to kiss me... I'm sure he was... Who knows what else may have happened... God he's cute...
Ray broke the silence with an impatient, "Well, what are we waiting for?"
A very serious Egon blinked, as if Ray had asked a stupid question. He half turned around and pointed at the alarm button, indicating to Janine that he wanted for the alarm to be rung.
This broke Janine out of her reverie Oh... that! she thought, irritated that that was all he wanted her to do for him. She rolled her sea blue eyes, groaned and complied anyway.
The shrill sound of the alarm rang throughout the old Firehall as the Ghostbusters and Alyce Johnson piled into Ecto-1.
Ray drove, Winston rode shotgun, while Egon, fiddling with his PKE meter already, Peter and Alyce, making notes in her notebook, sat in the back.
"Let's get those ghosts!" the Ghostbusters shouted in unison as Ecto-1 sped out onto the road.
Janine, watching them leave, just shrugged. I'll try again later she thought with resolution and contented herself, for now, with relaxing and enjoying the peace and quiet now that they were gone...
The Ghostbusters had discovered that New York's horrible heatwave and water supply problems were being caused by Necsa, a huge, ugly, green water elemental and his undyne children.
He'd slept for an undetermined amount of time in the Hudson river. He wasn't happy when he'd awoken and found out how far humans had progressed and that they'd polluted his water.
He was even less happy when the Ghostbusters had confronted him and Ray had foolishly fired his proton beam at him which didn't work anyway because he was so massive, so he swallowed them, but Venkman had given him terrible indigestion and Necsa had spat him out.
Peter had decided with grim determination to rescue his Ghostbusting cohorts and impress Alyce, who'd expressed her distaste for the psychologist more than once, at the same time.
It was evening now and Peter was back at the Firehouse preparing to face Necsa... man to... whatever...
He was loading equipment into the Ectomobile and listening to, the still bikini clad, Janine's hysterical rantings. Unlike Egon, Janine wearing a bikini didn't faze Peter one iota. He thought of her like a little sister, but right now that little sister was getting on his already frayed nerves.
With a huff he said to her, "Janine, calm down, please."
Janine looked at him with incredulity and wide eyes. How can he possibly say that?! All hell's broken loose and Egon isn't here to fix it!
"Calm down?!" she screamed at Venkman in her strong Brooklyn accent. "Those undyne things have taken over the whole city!" She got more upset as she watched him load the microwave into Ecto-1's back and continued raving on, "Egon and Winston and Ray were swallowed by a whale! And you're telling me to calm down?!!!"
Peter actually sounded rather calm himself as he told her what had really happened; at least how it happened from his point of view, "It's not really a whale. It's more like one of those primeval gods with a severe weight problem."
Janine stared at Peter as he came up to her desk, pulled her lamp apart and attached a couple of pieces of it to his nuclear accelerator. Half of her wondered what the heck he was doing, the other half was still concerned. "Well, whatever it is... it ate them!" she cried, bringing her hand up to her head to try and stop the headache she had coming on.
Venkman simply continued with... well... whatever he was doing... and asked her if she's ever seen Pinocchio.
Janine was really confused now. "What has Pinocchio got to do with this?"
"Monstro didn't eat Geppetto," Peter informed her, and walked over to Ecto-1 once more with her following him, "It just swallowed him and Pinocchio merely had to get him out." He started mucking with the equipment again.
Janine shrugged, looking heavenward. "He's lost his mind!" she bemoaned.
Peter then said to Janine, dramatically, "Just give my good friend Alyce Johnson at "Celebrity Magazine" a ring. Tell her to meet me at the docks tonight around ten-ish and get her to take her camera..."
Once Venkman had finished putting his new weapon together in order to fight Necsa he hopped into the car and drove her out into the rain that had started pouring while he'd been in the Firehouse.
Janine began pacing up and down in earnest as she waited for her guys... her Egon... to return home.
It was late when Janine heard the very familiar rumbling of Ecto-1's engine. She'd grown tired of pacing so she'd sat down to worry instead. Now she leapt out of her chair like a rocket and stood there with her hands clasped together in front of her with hope shining in her eyes.
The Firehouse's double doors burst open as Ecto roared in and she came to a halt as the automatic doors shut behind her and her engine died down.
Janine moved forward with expectation. She watched with bated breath as the boys climbed out one by one. They all appeared exhausted after their ordeal. First Peter, who looked entirely pleased with himself, got out of the driver's seat, then Ray, followed by Winston eased themselves out of the back, looking very bedraggled.
Then Janine's face broke into a broad smile as the one she cared about the most clambered out of the passenger's seat.
"Egon!" she shouted happily, with excited relief. "You didn't get eaten!" And she dashed over to him. He may have looked like the floor of a taxicab, but to Janine he still seemed to be an angel.
Egon quickly shoved his slipped glasses back up his nose, raised an eyebrow at Venkman and mouthed, "Eaten?"
Peter just shrugged as if to say: "Don't ask me," and he swaggered up the stairs. Even though his microwave device, which he'd used to defeat Necsa, had blown up he'd still managed to save his buddies, not to mention his favourite town. He'd convinced Necsa to pack up the kids and move to Antarctica and find himself a wife and Necsa had obligingly spat out Ray, Winston and Egon onto the dock and he knew that without Necsa the heatwave would cease.
Peter had also scored points with Alyce Johnson. He didn't get her number but at least she liked him enough now to allow him to call her by her first name. He could always phone her at her "Celebrity Magazine" office. He was also going to be on the cover of her magazine with his friends and colleagues next week. Life was good.
Poor Winston and Ray didn't have a pretty girl fawning over them so they simply padded upstairs to go to their respective beds.
That left Egon alone with Janine who flung her arms around him, nearly knocking him to the floor with her enthusiasm. He was wet, but she didn't care, she just held him tight, not wanting to let go.
He swallowed timidly as the flame haired vixen stood on her tiptoes and squeezed herself to him. He didn't know where to put his hands, but he eventually settled on the small of her back. He realised he was glad that she was there after the day he'd had and he held her close.
He shut his eyes and breathed in that sweet frangipani scent. Simply having her body pressed up against him warmed him right through.
His pulse raced as her beautiful bikinied breasts brushed his chest and he felt her smooth, supple skin beneath his hands as he gently stroked her bare back with his fingers. Because their lower halves were so near he felt a surge of blood rush to a certain part of his anatomy which was heating up with each passing second. He was feeling, to his dismay, quite turned on again.
Not really wanting her to notice, he kissed Janine softly, fondly on the top of her head and broke their warm embrace.
"Sorry, Janine," Egon apologised again. That's getting to be a bad habit, Egon he thought, mentally kicking himself. "I'm terribly wet and... I... uh... should really retire... as I'm thoroughly worn out."
Janine, who'd been burning up and had a pounding heart herself, didn't hide her disappointment, but she understood.
Mostly she was just glad that Egon was safe and sound again and her heart ached with such love for him as he gazed at her with those soulful, deep blue eyes.
She smiled affectionately, "Of course, Egon."
Not wishing to part company just yet Egon stayed with Janine as she gathered up her stuff minus her lamp, which Venkman had pulled apart earlier, and the lemonade bottles that she'd dumped in the bin.
She swapped her sunglasses for her regular glasses and got redressed. She grinned inwardly Why waste the opportunity?
"Egon... would you be so kind as to zip me up, please?" she asked politely with a little purr of her distinctive Brooklyn accent and turned her back to him.
He gulped, "Uh... Okay..."
He pulled on his collar as he stepped over to her. Fingers trembling slightly, he did as she requested.
Janine closed her eyes, relishing the fantasy, but wished that he were performing the task in reverse.
Egon sighed with great relief when he finished that difficult challenge.
Janine turned back around to face him and smiled in appreciation, both for his help and over his adorable anxiety.
Egon thought she looked so pretty in the long flowing dress and his eyes softened.
She slipped her sandals back on, picked up her bag and ran a hand through his damp blond hair and smiled seriously as she said, "Promise me you'll look after yourself once I'm gone, Egon."
"I promise," he grinned back with amusement at her concern.
"Good. I'll see you tomorrow, then." With that she stood on her toes again and bestowed on him a tender kiss to his cheek, causing him to take in a shaky breath.
Egon blushed furiously, cleared his throat and uttered one word, "Yes."
He then stared after Janine as she went to the door and opened it. She discovered, thankfully, that the rain had stopped so she stepped through the doorway without reservation and waved lightly at Egon before she shut the door behind herself.
She went to her car, hopped in and drove home, pleased that she'd made quite an impression... especially on Doctor Egon Spengler, the physicist she loved madly and whom she hoped will one day reciprocate those feelings.
Egon meanwhile had locked up, turned off the lights and gone up to the bunkroom in the partial darkness.
The others, including Slimer, who'd been curiously absent all day, were fast asleep in their beds already and were snoring loudly like usual.
He sneaked around quietly so as not to disturb them and changed into his nightshirt after drying off with a towel he'd gotten from the linen closet. He draped the towel over the frame at the foot of his bed.
He yawned, stretched and climbed under the inviting covers of his bed. He removed his spectacles and placed them on his nightstand.
Hmmp! Heatwaves! his mind grumbled Phooey! They always bring trouble! Then he rolled over and his thoughts drifted back to Janine Melnitz, the woman he was falling for against his will, but couldn't figure out how to express himself to On the other hand Janine might wear a bikini again next time we have a heatwave... Oh my God! Where did that come from? his mind panicked Oh... I've been listening to Peter too much!!! He sighed intensely If only she didn't look so damn sexy like that... He groaned with frustration and tossed over onto his other side, closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep, but found he couldn't. He moaned softly, rubbed his hands over his suddenly sweaty face and thought with resignation Looks like yet another restless night for me... and he groaned again and not for the last time that night either...
Poor hapless Egon... we should all have such troubles...