A/N: Snape's secret thoughts during a Potions lesson.
That Weasel kid is watching me again.
Gingers scare me.
He's still doing it.
It's fine, Severus, he's just looking around the classroom...
LOOK AWAY GINGER! LOOK AWAY!
… he's whispering something to that Potter brat.
They're talking about me! PLOTTING TO TAKE OVER MY POTIONS LESSON!
Oh no, it's the insufferable know-it-all again.
Why does she have such big hair?
Maybe it's full of secrets, deep, dark, plotting-to-take-over-my-potions-class-secrets! She seriously needs some frizz ease! She'd look a lot better with hair like mine…
Grease is the only way to go these days.
Personally I find that pig fat is the best.
She's watching me…
Why is she watching me…
She's helping Longbottom again. She's trying to help while I'm not looking! WELL I WON'T LET HER!
Wow… I've never noticed how beautiful her eyes are…
Oh my god, did I just say that A LOUD?!
Even Potter and unnamed Weasley have stopped their fake-wand fight to look over… damn
Maybe if I just pretend nothing's happening.
"LOOK A BIRD!"
Did I think that or say that?
Note to self: Control mouth
Second note to self: Look up the rule on student/teacher relationships
I said that second one out loud, didn't I?
The Ginger kid is reaching into his pocket…
What could it be?!
A machine gun.
Oh wait… it's just a tin parrot…
Phew. That was a close one.
Eurgh, Longbottom just spilled his potion everywhere.
That's one hell of a thick kid.
What sort of name IS Longbottom anyway?
He's looking upset again.
Everyone's looking at me.
I said that out loud, didn't I?
… I'd better be more careful or they'll be calling the please-men to take me away.
AND THEN THEY'LL WASH MY HAIR!
AND TAKE CONTROL OF MY POTIONS LESSONS!
DIE YOU BOTTOM CHILD!
"SNAPE! NO! PUT THE KNIFE DOWN!"
It's the old bag again.
Minnie something, is it?
They're going to take me now aren't they.
I should just surrender.
I should hand her the knife.
I should let myself be taken away to the please-men.
"SNAPE! NO! DON'T JUMP OUT OF THE WIND- ow…"
That was stupid.