A/N: I've been rewatching Ouran High School Host Club, my FAVORITE anime of all time, and this idea popped into my head. I looked around and other authors have done something similar, merging the plot of Ouran with Naruto characters, so it's not totally original, but this fic won't have one of the girls posing as a male host because, face it, none of the Naruto girls look very manly.

And I love all the host club boys (Kyouya and Tamaki in particular) and I even love Haruhi. I don't normally like the main female heroine but she's fantastic.

Who has seen episode 19 of Shippuuden? Total disappointment . . .

Disclaimer: I don't own.

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Chapter 1

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Konoha Private Academy is defined by . . .

One: Prestigious families . . .

And . . .

Two: Wealth.

Prosperous people have a lot of time on their hands, therefore, Konoha Host Club is about handsome guys that have time on their hands to give hospitality to lovely ladies that also have time.

What better way to spend time than to make beautiful girls happy?

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"No." Sasuke said flatly, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back into his chair.

Tsunade glared menacingly and slammed her fist onto her table. "Uchiha—"

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"It'd be too troublesome . . ."

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Neji rose from his chair. "I have more important things to do."

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Shino walked in, took one look at Tsunade's somewhat pleading smile and walked back out of her office. His resigned 'no' echoed down the hall as she repeatedly banged her head against her desk.

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Target: Inuzuka Kiba a.k.a. Naughty Wild-type & Uzumaki Naruto a.k.a. Cute Devious-type

Kiba and Naruto gazed at her with slightly confused and interested expressions.

"You want us to what?" the blonde asked.

Tsunade sighed. "I want you to create a host club and I want you two," she nodded to each of them in turn, "to try and convince Uchiha, Nara, Hyuuga Neji and Shino to join as well. Can you do that?"

Kiba frowned. "I think so, but, why do you want us to make a host club?"

"Imagine, if you will, that you are a girl about to enter high school and you have a choice between Oto Academy and Konoha Academy. Will you go to the school that has an exclusive club filled with handsome men who will spend time with you in a lavish atmosphere? Or go to Oto?"

Naruto bit his lip and tugged on the collar of his black school uniform. "I'd go to . . . Konoha?"

Tsunade nodded. "Exactly."

"Why should we help you?" Kiba asked, eyeing her warily. "What's in it for us?"

"Hot girls and free ramen."

Needless to say both boys were quite enthusiastic at that point.

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Target 1: Nara Shikamaru a.k.a. Modest Genius-type

"Shikamaru!" Kiba whined, tugging on said boy's uniform. "Please join!"

Shikamaru frowned in response, body jostling due to the brunette's tugging. "Fine, fine!" he yelled, pushing Kiba away. "Just let go of me."

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Target: Aburame Shino a.k.a. Gentle Silent-type

"Shino . . ."

"No."

"But—"

"No."

"Please!"

"Kiba, no."

"I'll destroy your ant farm," Kiba threatened.

"I'll kill you."

"I'm going to break into song . . ."

". . . Fine . . ."

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Target: Hyuuga Neji a.k.a. Gorgeous Cool-type

Naruto casually leaned against Neji's desk, studying the Hyuuga who was currently ignoring him and reading. The blonde inwardly groaned. This was going to be harder than he thought. He and Kiba and divided the workload; Kiba convinces Shino and Shikamaru, he would get Neji and Sasuke. When Naruto complained that he had both Neji and Sasuke, two of the most anal people in the world, Kiba quickly retorted that he wasn't really a friend of the Uchiha and was only an acquaintance of Neji's.

"Neji—" he began.

"I told Tsunade no and I'm telling you no."

Naruto winced. "But it could be fun!"

"What could be fun about giving girls disillusions about my character?" Neji stared at him coolly. "I'm not interested, Naruto."

"Is it because you're interested in a particular girl already?" Naruto asked. Neji didn't respond but the blonde could swear that the boy's face had turned slightly pink. "It's true, isn't it?" People didn't think Naruto was very observant, but people are more likely to slip in front of an idiot than a genius. He'd noticed how Neji sometimes stared at the new girl, Tenten, and found it quite amusing.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about."

Naruto grinned. "Hey, don't deny it—"

"I'll join your stupid club." Neji replied quickly, slamming his book shut. "Just don't say anything."

"Will do." he replied happily.

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Target: Uchiha Sasuke a.k.a. Reserved Prince-type

Sasuke's frown deepened as Naruto continued to tap his pencil against his desk and sigh. Loudly. The Uchiha was a patient person and usually could rein in his temper, but whenever he was alone with Naruto his anger almost always got the best of him.

His grip tightened, mechanical pencil in hand snapping, and glared at Naruto.

"Stop that." he said darkly.

"Huh?" the blonde gave him an innocent look while tilting his head to the side. "Stop what?"

"You know very well what."

"Sasuke—"

"I said no."

Naruto growled. "Teme—"

"Get out of my house." Sasuke said, turning back to his homework.

The blonde gave a wail of despair. "Neji—our sempai!—is going to be in it! Shikamaru and Shino too!" Naruto scooted closer to the reluctant Uchiha and threw his arms around him and fake sobbed into the dark haired boy's neck. "Sasuke! Please! It'll be so much fun and we get to be with tons of girls for three hours each day and—"

"No."

"B-But Sasuke!"

Sasuke shoved Naruto away from himself, scowling. "Why would I enjoy catering to the fan girls that annoy me, dobe? Give them hospitality? Give me a break."

"Y-You can be club Chairman if you want!" Naruto said, giving the Uchiha a hopeful look.

"No." he replied, turning back to his work.

Ok, Naruto thought, time to bring out the big guns.

"Sasuke . . ."

The Uchiha stiffened.

He knew that tone, knew the look that usually accompanied it too. Slowly, Sasuke turned to face Naruto and inwardly groaned. Plastered on the blonde dobe's face was the infamous puppy look. It was like his ultimate trump card and, from past experience, Sasuke could never deny the blonde once he used it. Naruto's eyes were large and glassy, his look sad and dejected mixed perfectly with a dash of innocence and hopefulness.

Naruto knew he won when Sasuke murmured, "Hn."

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Tsunade was grinning like a Cheshire cat and let out a happy sound as Shikamaru, Neji and Sasuke stalked into her office. All three young men looked absolutely pained being there. Sasuke was scowling impressively as he dropped the club form on her desk.

"You're president and club Chairman?" she asked, looking over the club request form.

"Yes," he answered reluctantly. "Neji is vice president."

"Uh huh." Tsunade signed her name on a line at the bottom of the first page, right under Sasuke's signature and Neji's initials. She gave Shikamaru a quizzical look. "Why are you here, Nara?"

He sighed. "This is stupid and troublesome—"

"But necessary." Tsunade said, cutting him off. "Konoha Academy is losing a lot of prospective students because of Oto and a way to bring in more is to make this host club with some of our school's handsomest young men." She let out a long suffering sigh. "Now, I know some of you aren't the most . . . Social people," she sent Sasuke and Neji looks, "but please try to bear with it. Many of your fan girls will probably pay good money to spend five minutes alone with you—"

Neji's white eyes gleamed unnaturally. "We can make a profit off of them?"

"As long as you don't ask for an outrageous amount of money I'll allow it."

"Where are we going to be holding this 'host club'?" Shikamaru asked.

Tsunade pulled out a map of the Academy. "The third music room on the fourth floor should be free. It's all yours."

Sasuke snorted. "My father is the Superintendent. If I told him about this he could have this club disbanded and you fired."

The fifty year old blonde, she looked about twenty, waved it off as an empty threat. "I'm the best principal this Academy has ever had. Your father firing me would be like a death wish. Who else can handle Uzumaki Naruto, actually make Kakashi teach and keep Gai's 'youthful' sermons to a minimum?" she asked, hiding the smug smile that threatened to appear on her youthful face.

The Uchiha looked away from her towards the wall.

Shikamaru sighed heavily. "Do we have a particular theme to go on?"

"Think 'fall'." she said before shoving all three out of her office and slamming the door.

Thus, the Konoha Academy Host Club was born.

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A/N: Please review? Reviews are my happy crack.

I'm still deciding on some pairings (NejiTen is a given in my stories and I'm leaning towards SasuSaku) so if you really like one in particular, tell me and I may consider it for the story.