"4 houses

18 doors

25 windows

12 fences

5 stables

3 barns….

All completely destroyed and completely unusable

As well as:

9 stables

7 houses

heavily damaged and in danger of collapsing..

And also……… 4 plundered pantries?"

Now they all were looking at Goku, who shuffled from foot to foot, face blushed bright red, looking everywhere but at the others:

"Yes, well, you see, because of all that running around I got a little hungry, so…"

"ARE ALL OF YOU COMPLETELY CRAZY? DID YOU FINALLY LOSE WHAT WAS LEFT OF YOUR BRAINS? A WHOLE DISTRICT...!"

Dokugakuji, leader of the musketeers, glared at the four men standing in front of him, while storming up and down his office.

The usually suspects…

And a new face!?

"Hey, big brother, it wasn't our fault, really…"

"Don't remind me we're siblings, Gojyo. As if I could ever forget that... So, please spare me having to think about it... I think I'm getting a headache again…"

He threw the several sheets of paper he'd been holding in his hands at the quartet, the paper fluttered to the floor.

They were a list of complaints, damage reports about what they had destroyed, and other things like that.

As Gojyo tried to speak up again, the normally so calm man snapped angrily at him:

"I'm the leader of the musketeers! I'm responsible for you and your actions! Why are you even here! What are you doing here?!!!"

Silence

None of them knew what to say.

Was that a rhetorical question?

"So, what is it!? I can't hear you! What makes you think you're a good musketeer! Or even a bad one! WHY ARE YOU HERE!!?????"

"Women.."

"Gambling?"

"I heard that there is a lot of very good food!!!"

Sanzo only shrugged, annoyed: "It is like it is"

Silence again

"YOU ARE FIRED!"

He went up and down the row of them, before he planted himself in front of each of them and yelled at them:

"FIRED! FIRED! ….."

"I'm terribly sorry, but I have to tell you, you can't fire him." Hakkai informed their leader, who was currently towering over Goku.

"Really? And would you mind telling me why that is?" asked Dokugakuji whit a dangerously low voice and an alarming glare.

"To be precise, he isn't even a musketeer."

"But I want to be one! I really, really want to be!!!"

"Really? In that case... I appoint you to a musketeer now…. AND THEN I CAN FIRE YOU!"

A long time ago the musketeers were the pride of the kingdom, respected, loyal, friendly and helpful they kept fighting for Law and Order… NOT FOR FOOD, WOMEN OR MONEY….."

"Order… Order… I'm sure I've heard that word before… Order…"

"Yes, me too. But I don't know… friendliness…loyalty… Doesn't ring a bell."

"Law? Order? What is that? Is it something to eat?"

"Out. Out! OOOUUUTTT!!!!!!!

"You 4 idiots can consider yourselves lucky, you just volunteered for a mission. It is a direct order from his… her… From our ruler-thing. You'll be summoned in a few days, have a nice time until then!"

"WHAT? No way, I don't want to…"
"You don't have a choice, Sanzo, like it or not, you will be there. Even if you don't like your relatedness with him/her.

You. Will. Be. There! Got it!? "

The leader of the musketeers seemed to enjoy the suffering and sulking of the blond.

"And until then, the short one will be sharing a room with you, since you brought him here in the first place."

[In the garrison the rooms are always for 4 men, to spare room

"I'm not short!" Gojyo gave him a hit on his head

"Sure you are short, midget."

"Cockroach!"

"Monkey!"

"Water-sprite."

"Shut up morons, both of you!"

Wrack Wrack The familiar sound of a fan hitting two heads

While Sanzo was kicking and hitting them both, Hakkai was standing beside them and smiled, doing his best not to get between them, or Sanzo would hit him as well.

Dokugakuji could only shake his head.

And THEY think they're musketeers…

I hope they somehow disapear during the mission... But is it really okay to let them loose? Maybe it would be better not to let them go to him...her...whatever it is on the throne alone.

Sure, Sanzo was related to…her…him…And…IT liked to tease him, but….

Just to make sure they don't mess this up too much…

I will go with them, when they are summoned.

I hope they won't simply throw the short one out like all their previous roommates...

The musketeers were allowed to choose whether they wanted to stay in the garrison, or to stay somewhere else, for example if they had a woman. Or, in Gojyo's case, to many of them. If they did stay in the garrison, however, they had to room together in 4-bed-rooms.

And these three had, until now, managed to get rid of every roommate.

The newcomers either had had enough of Sanzo's bad temper, of Hakkai's tricks, that only he himself (and the ones previously informed) thought were funny. And no one was safe from him.

Or the poor guy had enough of the trouble with Gojyo's girlfriends. Because Gojyo had this weird habit, to send angry husbands looking for him to someone else, so they'd get beaten up instead. Sadly though, that only worked when the guy only knew his name or where to find him, but not his face. So he himself got a fair share of the beatings.

Which didn't stop him, anyway.

In short, no one had the nerve to share a room with them for long.

The bravest had made it a whole week, before he was a nervous wreck. The poor man still hadn't recovered from this, and it was over 6 weeks ago. The doctor had said that he must have seen things so horrible, he didn't even wanted to know what had happened to the poor guy.

At the same time Sanzo had managed to kick Goku and Gojyo through the door.

How did he deserve this, now he had one idiot more to put up with. As if the three of them weren't enough…

"So, does that mean I'm a musketeer now?"

"Yes, it seems that way."

"Simple as that? This was easier then I thought it would be. But that man likes to yell, right? That is very bad for his blood pressure. If he keeps that up, he will collapse…"

"Yes, my brother is normally calm, not someone who gets upset that fast. But he's been yelling around for no reason for a while now."

[The destroyed buildings and the general chaos they caused certainly had nothing to do with it. No reason to get upset…

"I don't know, from what I remember he's been like that from the day I first met him, when we first showed up here."

[If that isn't the reason…

"Yeah, he never told me why! Even if I'm his nice little brother!"

Everyone looked at Gojyo at that statement.

"Since when are you a 'nice little brother'?"

"I can be!"

Violet, golden and green eyes looked at him doubtful.

"Okay, maybe not all the time."

"You mean 'ever'."

"Hey, at least I try! I really try. Its not my fault that something goes wrong all the time.."

As they passed by they heard some of their fellows talking:

"Have you heard? Someone broke into the headquarters of the cardinal's guards. In broad daylight!"

"And what was stolen? After all, it is a military building, not the national bank, or something."

"That's what's strange! There was nothing stolen, but the pantry was completely emptied!"

"And do they know who was so cheeky?"

"No, but he had left a quite a trail behind him on his way out of there. He has kicked in every door he passed… Man, they looked dumb, I wish I could have seen their stupid faces…"

"Serves them right, letting themselves getting robbed by a chibi…"

Just as Goku wanted to 'tell' them that he wasn't a chibi, he was dragged away by the others. It was better if no one knew that it was Goku who had visited the redcoats. Who knew who might listen.

"After all, they are pretty resentful…"

"Okay, then it's best if I say nothing." //All the better, that leaves more for me. He he he..//

………

…..

Their room, in the middle of the night, three, relatively, silent days later:

They still hadn't kicked out Goku, he was still there, loud and happy as always.

Oh, they had tried, but the little pest always found a way to sneak back into the room, even if they blocked the door with a dresser, he simply came in through the window as if nothing was wrong. And yesterday, after they had boarded up the window, he came through the roof!

"Who do you think you are, Santa Claus?"

"And where did you park your reindeer sledge then, monkey?"

"I'm not a monkey, you pervert! And I don't have a sledge. Because if I would have so many reindeers, I would cook and eat them, and I would never ever give you a single piece of it! Want to know why?"

"Why, short little monkey-boy?"
"Because you are a stupid, pervert cockroach!"

"I dare you to say that again!"

"Why? Are you deaf?"

[And again they are fighting, like always. Situation normal, all fucked up!

(Especially Sanzo's temper) So now back to this, more important, night:

As Gojyo walked into the room, he almost didn't believe his own eyes.

Sanzo, Goku and Hakkai were sitting on the table, in front of and all around them heaps of empty bottles, and Goku was happily snoring and drooling with his head on the dirty plate for all he was worth.

Sanzo slurred and wobbled and was also not far away from falling asleep.

Only Hakkai seemed to be stone-cold sober and refilling their glasses with a smirk.

As always the booze didn't get to him.

slide

Sanzo had given in and fell asleep. Both of them were snoring in duet now.

"Hey, Hakkai what have you done with them?"

"Nothing, we only had a little drinking contest. Only to kill the time, against the boredom. You know…"

"Then why are you sober? Didn't you drink with them?"

Suspicious Gojyo glanced at Hakkai, who gave him a big grin: "Oh, you know me, the booze doesn't affect me…"

"Maybe because you water the pot plant behind you with your drinks?" asked Gojyo with a look at the green stuff behind the green-eyed man.

"It's no wonder that nobody ever wins a drinking contest against you. So much for booze doesn't affect you! You simply never drink it yourself. I would not be surprised if that thing died of a alcoholic poisoning! The last time you had a drinking contest outside in a bar, they ended up having a wobbly and shaky dog. It was the first time I saw a drunken collie, I didn't know that was possible… "

"Don't tell anyone about that, or I'll have to kill you…"

Hakkai grinned at the other man and stood up.

"And what do you have in mind? You never do anything without a special reason."

"No no, don't worry, it is only a little April Fools' joke, nothing special."

"But it isn't even April right now!"

"Then imagine it was. Will you help me?"

"And with what?"

"At first please help me carry these drunkards over to the bed, then I show you."

Hakkai shoved Goku into Gojyo's arms while he dragged Sanzo. He had done a good job, neither of them realized anything, just snoring soundly in their arms. He laid Sanzo down on a bed and freed him of his boots and shirt. Gojyo was about to lay the boy in one of the other beds, when Hakkai called him over with an evil smirk:

"No, wait, bring him over here, too."

That was when Gojyo started suspecting what his friend was up to, and he shrugged:

"You realize Sanzo will murder you in cold blood for this when he's sober again?"

With that he laid Goku down beside Sanzo and took off the boys shirt and boots too.

Then Hakkai placed Goku's head on Sanzo's chest and the blond's arms around the smaller form.

"What do you think? It looks cuddly, don't you think so?" said Hakkai content.

"I don't care, it is your head that will get a new hole. I never knew that you have a death wish."

Hakkai only started giggling like he was nuts.

He had his fun, while Gojyo would be elsewhere when they woke up…

The next Morning:

Early in the morning, at 12pm, Sanzo woke up.

Something was wrong!

He couldn't say what it was, but something was definitely not like it should be. And it was not the time, or that he had gotten himself drunk yesterday.

How can Hakkai drink so much without wobbling just a little? he wondered.

Slowly he drifted back into a light slumber...

He tried to remember what had happened last night and, lost in thought, ruffled the brown haired head, which was laying on his chest, with one hand.

Hakkai was grinning at them suspiciously when he mentioned the drinking game, but Sanzo was careful, because he knew that grin. It meant that the green-eyed man was up to something.

It didn't matter what he had planned, it wouldn't work….

[Yeah, Right, and that's also why he's patting Goku's head the whole time…

Then again, he didn't feel like thinking about it further, patted Goku's hair once more and squeezed the youth tighter to him. He enjoyed the warmth and the silence and his eyes fell close all by themselves…

Only to suddenly open again..

At the same time he leaped up and out of the bed, carried Goku with him, and together with the sheets, they landed on the ground.

Sleepily, the boy blinked up to Sanzo, yawned, curled up and kept on sleeping right where he was. Namely in Sanzo's lap.

And Hakkai chose right that moment to enter the room.

[It's only the question; Was it accidentally or on purpose?

With a surprised face he looked down at the two sitting on the floor: "Oh, I'm very sorry, I hope I didn't interrupt you? Maybe it's better if I came back later, when you both are finished….."

"NO! No, you better tell me what's this supposed to be!" yelled Sanzo, as Hakkai turned around to the door.

I'm sure as hell this is all his fault. There is no other way, it has to be!

"What this is? I think you know better then I do, right?" asked Hakkai with an ambiguous smile.

Goku didn't notice anything of all this, he slept happily with Sanzo's hand in his hair patting and stroking it again (the blond hadn't noticed yet, of course).

Sanzo was unsure of what he was supposed to make of this situation.

He certainly hadn't been THAT drunk! Could he?

I can't … I didn't… I wouldn't… Would I? No! Yes? NO! Never… maybe? What happened, damn it! Shit, shit, shit, ..

His thoughts spun around in his head like a dog who wants to catch his own tail.

And Goku wasn't a help either, with his gentle snoring and purring under his hand.

And that reminded him where the monkey was sleeping on.

[And where his hands are…

Wamm Klong the sound of wood on wood

And again Goku was awaken rudely as Sanzo stood up and his head hit the floor.

Puzzled he sat up and rubbed his eyes: "Hm? What happened? Is it already time for breakfast?"

Hopefully he looked from one to the other.

While Sanzo didn't know what to answer, Hakkai was laughing.

So Sanzo decided to let his fan speak for him. And that thing speaks a pretty clear tongue.

Hakkai took advantage of the situation and vanished out of the room before he got his share of the hits too.

Because he wasn't sure if Sanzo knew that he was the one who put them out off most of their clothes and into the bed.

Or if he really thought they landed there all by themselves…

Wondering Gojyo saw Hakkai sneaking out of their room:

"Hey, you're still alive! And that's after it sounded like our Sleeping Beauties are awake… Wait, do they really think… Ne, Hakkai, you can't let them believe…"

"Look, I don't know what who is thinking, but luckily, that isn't my problem, right?(And I'm really happy about that.) Everyone can think what they want."

All Gojyo did was shrug: I hope that don't end bad.

But he had to admit, Sanzo must have made quite a funny picture as he was falling out of the bed. He wished he had seen that.

But the yelling in the room went on and on, so the two men went away, just to be safe.

But Gojyo couldn't really hold back a comment, so he opened the door slightly: "The quarrel of lovers is the renewal of love."

Then he ran away as fast as possible, before Sanzo could 'answer' him(with his fan or gun…)

………..

…….

Not much later that day Sanzo and the three quite damaged looking men sat together at the breakfast table.[in the end he caught everyone

He was hiding behind his newspaper just waiting for someone to make a sound, so he had a reason to hit them again with his beloved fan. After that awakening, he already was in a bad mood, and still getting angrier and angrier with each passing moment.

And he let the others feel it...

From time to time he peeked over the edge of his paper, but no one did him the favor of giving him a reason to beat them again.

So he waited...

Nobody noticed the man that entered the room and, after looking around, walked up to their table.

He towered over Gojyo and tapped his shoulder.

When Gojyo turned around, he received a punch to the face, making him fall out of his chair:

"If you ever dare to touch my wife again, or talk to her, or even look at her...

I WILL PERSONALLY SEND YOU TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEINE!!!"

With that, he turned around and stormed off.

"If I remember which girl was his wife..." Gojyo murmured while getting up to sit down on his chair again.

"Yep, that's what happens if you have to many women around you."

"What am I supposed to do, everybody loves me..."

He tried snatching something from one of the plates, only to discover that Goku had been faster.

He glared at the boy angrily, the boy glared back.

Then [what a surprise a food-fight started.

"Cockroach"

"Monkey"

"Idiot"

"Dimwit"

Sanzo's brow started twitching dangerously. Even without the fighting and yelling of the two animals, his patience for the day was almost gone.

"Bottomless monkey"

"Pervert water sprite"

"ENOUGH! SHUT UP! THE NEXT ONE, WHO EVEN DARES TO BREATHE. IS. DEAD!

GOT THAT?"

With that, he stepped down from the chair, on which he had climbed to have a better position to yell and glare down at the two morons.

[As if anyone can fail to hear him, by this sound intensity

The whole room was silent as death, and everyone stared at Sanzo, who grabbed a chair to throw it at Gojyo's head. When Goku started to giggle, the chair landed on his head as well.

Hakkai observed the whole spectacle with amusement, as Sanzo rushed out of the room.

When he was passing by him, Sanzo thought he could hear the green eyed man:

"You really shouldn't do that to your friend…"

Sanzo turned around and gave him a questioning look, as he wasn't sure if he had or hadn't heard him say something, but Hakkai acted as if he didn't say a single world.

Shit, today I'm not sure about anything since I woke up, what is that, damn it.

Goku looked after him, puzzled.

Then he looked up at Hakkai from under the remains of Sanzo's chair:

"What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know, maybe he had a bad night's sleep?"

"By the way, how was your rest last night?" asked Gojyo hypocritical.

"Very good, why?"

He really didn't see why the two of them started laughing at this.

Really, they can't stop laughing, and they wouldn't tell him what's so funny, that is not fair!

………….

……..

….

That night, as pretty much every other night, Gojyo came back late.

[Hey, there are many women who are waiting for him after all..

All he wanted, was to fall into his bed and sleep, but then he heard the door open and close again quietly.

He grabbed one of the chairs.

[Didn't they ever use something else as weapon? Something like.. I don't know.. Maybe… Knifes? Muskets? Rapiers?

He tried to hit the intruder, but he was smaller than expected and Gojyo only hit the wall.

"Goku! What are you doing this late? You're supposed to be in bed by now, monkey boy!"

"The same goes for you, cockroach!"

"I was in bed, but she didn't let me stay there. And what is your excuse? Don't tell me you were out on a date?"

He looked over to Sanzo's bed meaningfully:

"No that can't be, blondy is already here!"

Goku only gave him a puzzled look. What had that to do with Sanzo?

"Yes, I really had a date, with…"

Click

Sanzo has his musket in hand and aimed at the two of them:

"Okay, who wants to be the first? Hakkai, you can start digging two graves."

"Can't that wait until tomorrow?"

"Yes, or we forget about it completely, that will be even better. Less work, less dirt…."

"And in return more noise, more trouble…"

In the end they settled on a few hits to the head for each of them.

[That meant, Sanzo settled on this, the others had nothing to say about this besides "Ouch"

"Hey, monkey, what was with your date?"

Gojyo was too curious to let that pass so easily.

With who could a chimp like him be together?

"I visited the guards of the cardinal, they refill their pantries everyday, did you know that? And the food is always so tasty, and the guards are sooo weak..." Goku romanticized, while the others could only stare at him.

"Then you are the little pest that has been plundering the pantries and vanished into thin air right after?"

"Sure! I have to eat a lot in order to grow up and become strong!" Goku said with a mischievous grin.

"Shall I bring something for you too tomorrow? They have really good stuff in there, especially in that little room I found."

"I think that's where they store the food for the higher officers."

"You mean they cook for them and store it there...?" Goku asked, curious, as he licked his lips at the thought of food:

"I wish I had some whipped cream, they never have any in the pantry, and no sweets either..."

Wrack

"I can give you whips, too. As many as you'd like!"

Wrack Wrack Wrack

With that, Sanzo hid his fan again, wherever he always put it to.

"Hey, what was that for? You said, I should never say anything about that… And I didn't! You never said that I wasn't allowed to go back there! And anyway, why are you angry? Because of the couple of doors I broke? I told them before that they should leave them open when I come, but they never listen to me, so its their own fault! And anyway, at least they're busy that way, and don't stand around all the time and stare into nothingness. A little work from time to time never hurt anyone. If they have to work, of course." And with that he give an eager nod.

"Are you saying that you go to them every night? You talk with them? And they don't stop you?!"

"Oh, sure, they try. But they are far to slow, and when you throw something at them, they slow down even more. And you can shake them off easily, that is so much fun… You all should try it too! It's an easy game."

And the boy grinned cheeky at them. "Don't worry, they don't know that I'm a musketeer."

Of course, the guards of cardinal Gyumao weren't too happy about it, so they tried to ambush the golden eyed teen every night, but they never knew what door or window he would come through.

And that little devil was fast, no matter how hard they tried to corner him, he always found a way to escape.

And so it went on, night after night, and the musketeers in the canteen wondered who that cormorant was, that caused so much trouble for the red coats.

They made jokes about the poor guards who let themselves get robbed every night without doing anything about it.

"You see, none of them are complaining about it" Goku told Sanzo the next day, as he heard someone talking about it at another table.

"Yes, but do you have to raid the citizens pantries as well? One would think that you get enough from the redcoats and don't need to brake into the their houses too."

"Yeees, I know." Goku whined "But the way is so much longer..."

………

….

2 days later they where called into Dokugakuji's office.

Again.

"Ok, you four anarchists, as I said earlier, you're allowed to fulfill an order, and tomorrow you have to show up before our majesty and get to know more about your mission."

"Do YOU know what we're supposed to do?" Gojyo asked his brother.

"No, only that it is important and, -God save our souls-, you are supposed to do it."

Dokugakuji almost tore his hair out and marched worriedly around in the room.

Even if he/she wanted them to be there, he would be glad if it was someone else.

Alone in the last four days, there were many fights, in which the four of them were involved.

Either it was because of the temper tantrums of Sanzo, the miscellaneous love affairs of Gojyo, the gambling of Hakkai (when a looser couldn't or wouldn't pay), or the big mouth and the endless appetite of Goku.

They are the nails to my coffin. The little one has adjusted himself fast here. And of all things to the three worst of the whole troop…

Dokugakuji sighed. "I came along with you to make sure you don't cause any trouble."

[Really? He and which army?

The four men before him grinned at him and gave him a nod in unison.

"YOU SHOULD NOT ONLY NOD, YOU SHOULD BEAR THAT IN MIND! DAMN IT! YOU WILL BE IN FRONT OF THE KING….. THE QUEEN… What I mean is….." and he began to stutter and became quieter with every word…

"DAMN IT, YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN! WHEN YOU ARE THERE TOMORROW BEHAVE YOURSELVES AS IF YOU WERE NORMAL PEOPLE, NOT LIKE ANIMALS, YOU MORONS!"

Gojyo gave his big brother a surprised look: " What is wrong with you, we haven't done anything."

"Until now! I have serious doubts to let you see the ruler of France. None of you have any behavior, you don't have respect for anyone, you are loud, you beat up each other and everyone else, you are violent and an impertinence for your surroundings!!!"

"What do you mean?" Goku asked innocently.

[Is he serious or is he only pretending?

"THAT MEANS THAT YOU ALL ARE A GODDAMN PLAGUE, YOU ARE WORSE THEN PEST AND CHOLERA; AND I WOULDN'T WISH FOR MY WORST ENEMY TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOU!" he screamed at Goku

Sanzo turned around and walked away.

"And what do you think where you are going to?"

"Out. You all are getting on my nerves."

"Tomorrow you will all be standing here, in gala uniform and with polished boots! Is that clear!?"

"Yeah, whatever.." Sanzo didn't sound very impressed as he simply walked away.

"AND YOU WILL BEHAVE YOURSELF, GOT IT!!!" Dokugakuji roared after them, as the other three left as well.

Is there anyone listening to me, or am I talking to the wall?

[A very good question, who is the boss here?

Outside of the office the three of them caught up with Sanzo, not that he cared if they did or not.

Gojyo rubbed his ears:" Why does my brother always scream at us, he doesn't do that with the others. That's so mean…"

"Bottled up stress?" Hakkai assumed.

"No patience?" guessed Sanzo (he spoke from his own experience), but Goku's speculation beat all others at lengths

[and also was the farthest away from the truth

"Maybe he simply loves to hear himself scream?"

"So we have to show up there. Tomorrow. In front of the king…umm, the queen…umm, whatever.." Hakkai summarized, as they stopped laughing..

That means, Gojyo and Hakkai had laughed, Sanzo had kept a straight face, and Goku didn't get the joke, he had meant it pretty serious.

"What do you mean with 'whatever'? They're both coming, or not? Why are you always talking so weird?"

"Um… Goku, in case you didn't know, our majesty isn't married."

"Why not?"

"Because nobody knows if they should search for a Prince or a Princess. So she… he… is solitary."

"Why don't they know?"

"Because it depends on whether you look at the upper or the lower part."

"And who would marry something like that willingly.." Sanzo decided to say something about the matter too.

And that King… Queen Kanzeon rubbed him the wrong way was not a big secret.

'She' enjoyed bothering him, and he was insulting her at many occasions, which seemed to amuse her even more…

She was hard to see through, and Sanzo never knew if she/he was joking or not.

And if there was something he hated, it was someone laughing at him, mentally or not.

IT should care less about it's amusement, and more about its work. Then that damn cardinal would not have such a force, with his two lap dogs…

At the next day they were standing, more or less straight, before the throne, on witch he/she/it was slouching.

Gojyo and Hakkai where talking quietly with each other, completely ignoring their ruler, while Goku bounced around and whined about his hunger and how he was starving right then and there because he hadn't eaten for sooo long now.

[Yes, for him 2 hours are half an eternity…

And Sanzo was only standing there with his arms crossed and glaring angrily at the figure before him. She, of course, glared back:

" You don't have to look that angry. Don't you have a smile for your aunt?"

"I was adopted by Koumyou. And he was only your stepbrother, so we are not really blood relatives." Thank God for that little mercy.

"And that's why you don't even have a single nice word for me as welcome?"

"Drop to dead!"

By now, Gojyo started pushing Goku, who pushed back.

Gojyo gave him a harder push, and earned himself a kick to the shin.

For that, he gave Goku a head butt, and they went on and on, combined with much swearing and abusive language.

Hakkai stood beside them and said his usual:" Ma, ma, the lovely children"

"We aren't CHILDREN" both said at the same time.

"Then stop acting as if you were!" Sanzo interrupted them, as always with the help of his paper fan.

For a short time both were quiet, then, of course, they started again:

"Cockroach"

"Monkey"

"Water spite"

"Dwarf"

"Pervert"

"Cormorant"

"SHUT UP, YOU TWO INTELLIGENCE-ALLERGY SUFFERERS."

Sanzo hit and kicked both into ground and earth.

"Can't you think of something new, you always say the same things."

Kanzeon coughed, was ignored and coughed louder.

But again she/he was ignored.

"HEY! YOU CAN'T IGNORE ME LIKE THAT!"

"It's not easy, but we can manage somehow" was Sanzo's reply.

Behind them Dokugakuji was standing, not knowing if he should wish them to hell, cut their heads off, or try to sink into the floor. Or all of that.

He never saw anything as unrespectful as this, and he had been waiting for the worst, knowing them as like he did…

Unbelieving, he shook his head: Please, earth, open up and swallow me.

But out loud, he only said: "Behave yourselves, you're standing before your ruler!!!"

"Sanzo, I'm hungry! Can we go and get something to eat?"

"Why the hell should I care about your hunger?"

"You only think about eating, right?"

"No, I don't! I also think about how to break every bone in your body."

"Only in your dreams, dimwit"

"In real, too!"

"Sure there are some redcoats waiting for me to get their money." It looked as if Hakkai too had something better to do then to be there.

"Yes, I have a date that I don't want to miss…" Gojyo also wanted to be somewhere else.

[It isn't like an audience with their ruler was something special

"You are getting on my nerves.." that, of course, was Sanzo, "If you don't want to be here then leave" and with that he want to turn around and left as well: "Who cares about that crap?"

But Dokugakuji stepped into his way: "You stay where you are! And you three too! No one leaves this room without my permission. GOT IT?"

"And what happens, when she… he give its permission?" Even Goku started talking like the others, but noone had ever dared to talk like that in front of Kanzeon. Until now. Except for Sanzo, of course, who never had any respect for anyone.

"That is something else of course, you idiot, that's logical!"

Dokugakuji blushed as he noticed that he was screaming as well.

Kanzeon had watched the scene for a while, but now she wanted to say something.

As when no one reacted on her coughing she drew in a deep breath:

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? DON'T YOU WANT TO WELCOME ME CORRECTLY, LIKE YOU SHOULD!"

"Welcome you correctly?"

Goku tilted his head to the side and considered.

But before he could even start to move, Sanzo drew him back by his collar.

Gojyo laughed and Hakkai whispered something to him about jealously, which caused Gojyo to laugh and giggle even more.

It was their luck that Sanzo hadn't heard that, otherwise he would have had started to yell and hit them again.

Goku only looked at the redhead puzzled, but he decided that the men was laughing at him, so he gave him a good kick.

Gojyo and Hakkai had a good idea of what kind of 'Hello' Goku was thinking of, and that was funny in their eyes

He love it to make fiends that way…We have created a devil…

Sanzo glared at the two jokers. He knew what the meaning at that remark meant, and he was not happy about it.

Dokugakuji on the other side, hadn't gotten and the joke, so all he could do was look from one to the other wondering, while Sanzo was very busy, as he tried to beat some sense into the three of them.

But the leader of the musketeers by now had the strong feeling that the blond only made it worse and they got more stupid with every hit. He never understood how it was possible that someone was friends with the blond. The man was always violent, at least when he didn't hide behind a newspaper and read and smoked and ignored the rest of the word.

But then he looked at the other three men:

Also not the pride of creation.

There was his brother: Chasing every skirt he saw, always on the run because of the jealous husbands that wanted to kick his ass, and he beat them up or got beaten up…

Then there was Hakkai: A gambler who loved cheating, made crude jokes about the ones around him and then pretended to be innocent when someone asked about it. He always won because of the wrong cards under the table, and many people knew that, but noone dared to say that aloud. The green eyed men was a very bad loser…

And then there was the newbie: The boy was untamed, incalculable and loud. And also, he had heard his brother say that he was the one who was responsible for the plunderings in the last time. It seemed that he got along well with the others, but that was not really to his best. They would only corrupt him in the future, Dokugakuji was sure about that.

His mind returned to the present.

The four musketeers had gotten very loud by now and tried to kill each other, while their boss tried to calm them down, with little to no avail.

What kind of picture is that, is seems that I can't even handle four people. Why did she want to see these four of all people. Why did she want to see her nephew? There are so many other men that are better, sane and agreeable…

At last they agreed to listen to what that thing on the throne had to say..

[how merciful..

"So, now that I have your full attention…"

"Monkey"

"Idiot" (both hissed)

kick

hit

".. we can continue."

She/ he gave the men a challenging look, and they simply stared back.

For a while, no one said a word, until Sanzo got bored: "What is it, are we going somewhere with that today, or are we waiting for the next ice age?"

"Then we may need warmer winter-clothes" Hakkai commented.

"And many, many supplies to eat!!!" that came, of course, from Goku, before he earned himself a head butt from Gojyo.

"So, your mission is simply,…" began Kanzeon,

that made Dokugakuji thinkWhat luck, maybe they make it without causing a disaster, or kill each other…

[Wow, he really trusts his people..

"..you simply should go to Paris, get it? I give you a map, you follow it. Your way will be clearly marked on it, you can't miss it. There you will meet the Baron Jiroushin. Get it? You go to him, get it? Only get there and bring something back to me. A scroll. A scroll which is very, very important. All you have to do is get that scroll and bring it to me, get it? Cardinal Gyumao had somehow found out that I gave it to the Baron, and now he wants to make a trap and provocate a war between England and France. He'll make everyone believe that the Baron has stolen it to use it against me now. Do you understand this? I need the scroll just in time, or the cardinal takes over control here! And then is shift in the hoist way, you get it? Tomorrow morning you will start! All right?"

"Stop talking with us as if we are complete morons, or I show you what hell is!"

Sanzo doesn't mince his words, and the others protested as well:

"Why should we not understand this, you speak loud and clear…..?"

"Why did you give away that damn thing if it is that important?"

"Hey, is there any food in England?"

All Dokugakuji could do now, was shake his head in desperation:

It will be best when I simply emigrate, because, if the well-being of our Land depends on a psychopath, a gambler, a womanizer and a cormorant, then we can as well go to hell.

[so much for positive thinking

"I repeat: You get there! You get my scroll! You get you ass back! You give me my scroll! Easy task! Get it?"

"I bet it is a love letter!"

"Yes, why she would make such a fuss about it, if not for that?"

Luckily for Hakkai and Gojyo she hadn't heard them, or simply ignored them, as they whispered.

"Are there any other Questions, wishes, suggestions? Then you all can leave now."

"Yeah, all right, I get it…"

"I'm not an idiot!"

"Yes, sir…Um…. Madam… Um.. what ever…"

"Okay, all clarities are eliminated"

And with that they leave under the angry glares from their leader.

I feel somehow sorry for the poor man, my nephew and his friends are not the easiest people walking on earth… Kanzeon thought, while overhearing the discussion on the other side of the door. Really, they all are very loud…

At the other side, Goku and Gojyo are fussing over the fact that Kanzeon had talked to them like stupid little children, while Sanzo wanted to put as much distance between himself and these weird people who called themselves his 'friends' as possible.

They made their way until the next corner, when Dokugakuji had enough of them and their stupidly.

"ARE YOU INSANE OR WHAT? DID THE SUN MELT YOUR BRAIN? OR ARE YOU SIMPLY PLAYING DUMP?"

When he had to take a deep breath, Goku took advantage of the situation to ask a stupid question:

"What do you mean, we tried really hard and we were very good! More or less…"

"THAT IS 'GOOD'? YOU RATTLING RUNNING-METER,,,,,,"

"I. AM. NOT. THAT. SMALL!!! AND WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO YELL AT US FOR NO REASON? I AM NOT DEAF! NONE OF US IS!!!"

Goku drowns out even his surprised boss, who didn't do more than blink at him.

Bang

With help of his gun Sanzo got all attention back at him:

"Can we go now?" annoyed, Sanzo turned around and walked away, once again ignoring Dokugakuji.

"We have to get supplies."

"Hey! Hey! I, I, I want to do this! Let me, let me! I want to do this!" Goku bounced up and down and weaved his hand up and down as if he tried to fly away, while begging.

"AH, really and how will you idiot do this?"

"I don't want to tell you, pervert, because it is a secret!"

"I guess you want to go to the redcoats, am I right?"

"Man, that's not fair! It was meant to be a surprise!"

"I don't want to know! The less I know, the better. The main point is that I get rid of you all. Shall the world deal with you. In any case, I will have a better sleep at night. As soon as I know you far, far away from me. Then you are the problem of someone else…" mumbling under his breath Dokugakuji walked away. All he wanted to do now was getting drunk and forget this whole fiasco

Why do I, of all people, have to put up with such idiots? I always give my best for land and majesty…

Sanzo continued to walk away, when he saw that Gojyo lay an arm around Goku's shoulder, and Hakkai did the same on the other side.

They where up to something, a blind man with a crutch could see that. But sadly [or luckily?, he couldn't hear what they are saying to the stupid monkey. All he could see was that Hakkai and Gojyo were talking to the smaller one, who looked from one to the other and let them drag him away with big eyes.

Gojyo turned towards Sanzo and gave him a grin…

And that never meant something good….

Question: What might they be up to?

My Tip: As always, is Gojyo talking the most….

Poor Sanzo, watch out….

So, that was it so far, i hope you found it funny, i love this part much (poor Doku...)

And as next:

Goku, Hakkai and Gojyo visits the red coats, Goku and Hakkai playing a game, and poor Doku had another meeting with them... Does anyone know a good psychiatrist? Because he soon will need one very badly...