Summary: The logical solution to any decision is writing a list of pros and cons. But does such an approach work when the problem (there is no 'problem'!) is something that doesn't obey logic? Haruhi's POV, third person.


In Love

Fujioka Haruhi has thought long and hard about this ever since her father asked her if she was sweet on anyone in the club. This is what she has decided:

Suou Tamaki

She does not love Tamaki.

Partly because Tamaki is clearly only infatuated with the idea of making her fall in love with him - since she is one of the few females at Ouran who isn't. (And she wouldn't want him to be in love with her, anyway.)

Also, he's an idiot.

Why must he be so melodramatic? Why can he never take anything seriously? Even his supposed 'crush' on her is so... staged. So exaggerated, so pretentious. It bothers her that he takes something as serious as love... so flippantly. He acts crushed when she ignores him, he will yell at the twins when they pretend to molest her, but to him it's just a competition.

Competition with her in who will get more clients... him or her.

Competition with the twins to see who will get to spend more time with her, or who will see her in the most revealing outfit.

Competition with all her female clients, to try and make her fall for him instead.

So that's all she is to Tamaki. An object.

That is all that will be said on the topic, she nods firmly.

Hitachiin Hikaru and Kaoru

She does not love the twins.

Now, to clarify that;

She does not love Hikaru.

She does not love Kaoru.

Nor does she love the both of them as one. In fact, together, they're even more of a headache than apart, so she really doesn't see why one could fall in love with the both of them.

And she is convinced that their only interest in her lies in the fact that she is a bit different from most other girls. And because she can tell them apart, which makes her a challenge to them. Not because they like her or anything. Even though Hikaru actually thinks he does. And Kaoru might think that a little too, but only because he's jealous, and mistakes if for not wanting her to favor Hikaru over him - rather than either of them over the both of them (because if she prefers one, then one must be better, and he- no, they are even and equal in everything. Why? she wonders rhetorically. 'Because we're twins' - the answer would be synchronized, practiced, incredulously obvious).

But in actual fact, they're not in love with her at all. Not even a little bit.

Maybe they like her. Maybe they even love her. But not like that.

Ootori Kyouya

She does not love Kyouya.

He is rather imposing and sometimes even fearsome. Despite that, he also has a soft spot for certain blonde idiots and any friends of those same-said blonde idiots.

Still, that doesn't make him any less dangerous and threatening in her eyes. She admires him, certainly, and is often astounded by the skills he must posses to be able to control Tamaki even a little. Also, she is impressed by how seriously he takes his responsibilities. She can even almost see why some girl might find such a dutiful, driven person attractive.

But he is not for her, and she not for him.

For one thing, he is much too stingy, she muses.

As a 'commoner' – she almost rolls her eyes at the twins disparaging tone in her imagination when they call her that – she has real reason to me careful with money, and yet still remains relatively generous and giving. It irks her to think that someone much better off than she cannot muster even a small amount of generosity. It makes her think that Kyouya does not appreciate what he has.

Haninozuka Mitsukuni

She does not love Hunny.

He is cute and sweet, but he can also be selfish and stubborn. She doesn't really like the way he manipulates the people around him to get what he wants. Even if its only an adorable smile or pout, or even a simple, well-timed sigh, he controls the people around him like a puppet master, and when his cute looks don't get him what he wants, he resorts to guilt-tripping people into things (as she can personally attest to).

How she knows that he isn't actually as helpless as he wants to appear - besides being a martial arts master - is that she's seen him mad.

When he's mad, he stops being cute little Hunny (senpai in name only) and becomes a very frightening Haninozuka (as perhaps he really should be). In those moments, he is closest to being the person he truly is under the sugar sweet (sickeningly sweet, she thinks) mask.

But this Haninozuka-senpai, whilst being a rather honorable and fair person, does not appear enough, and she feels that she could never live with someone who is so untrue to himself.

So, Hunny is someone she would trust, someone she admires in certain respects, even someone she likes sometimes - but he is never someone she loves.

Morinozuka Takashi

She does not love Mori.

He puzzles her. Why does someone with so much potential hide in Hunny's shadow? No, 'hides' is not the right word. Perhaps... 'lingers'.

She can sometimes see the occasional spark from him that illustrates exactly how talented and potentially great he is, (in schoolwork, host club work, martial arts, half a dozen other things) but then along comes Hunny, and she can almost see the spark extinguished, as Mori's attention is turned to his Mitsukuni.

She was perplexed about it for a long time until she realized that she has no right to decide what Mori is happier doing.

And so now she can almost comprehend that he is doing what he wants to be doing, and no glimmers of success could change his mind.

She can almost understand, but that does not mean she agrees. To her, Mori-senpai is still being silly, and to one who has dedicated her life to succeeding and to making the most of her intellectual potential, this is still unacceptable.

And so she could never love Mori.

...Then who?

No one.

Haruhi has firmly decided that she is not going to marry.

Men are stupid (as Tamaki demonstrates time and time again) and only get in the way.

Also, they can be incredibly irritating in the way they make her watch them all the time, and in the way they make her heart beat a little faster if certain member of this general group titled 'males' lean closer or happen to brush their hand across hers.

Which is why a husband would only get in the way of her work, Haruhi decides. She nods to herself and pulls her eyes away from the (not husband material!) male host club member in front of her.

"Haruhi? Why were you staring at me?"

"... No reason."


End
Authors Note: I mean no offense to any of the characters. I like them all, but Haruhi is trying to evaluate everyone's good and bad qualities fairly (although she wasn't exactly fair to poor Tama-chan...).

And it's supposed to be a denial thing, in case I didn't make that clear enough.

Thus, the obvious question is raised: who was she staring at?

... Well, I'll leave that up to you, because I don't know.

Even though I am a stout TamaHaru fan (although I guess KyouTama or TwinsHaru are okay too), it's unlikely that that was Tamaki, since if he saw Haruhi staring at him, he would undoubtedly jump to the conclusion that she is in love with him and promptly expire of happiness.

And Mori is pretty much eliminated too, because that's not really the sort of thing he would say. He would just ignore it. Maybe.

Possibly Kyouya? He's blunt enough... I don't know.

Reviews would be nice. (And YES, I am working on the next chapter of Love Hate Relationship.)