Summary: Wherein Mikami and L attempt to share Light, and his megalomaniacal plans blow up in his face
A/N: Revamped chapter because spelling mistakes were annoying me. Also, because I'm actually going to start writing for this again. Nothing's really changed, but you can reread the chapter anyway.
Sharing: With Each Other
"Kami doesn't need a housewife, he needs someone loyal." Mikami Teru's black eyes narrowed at his competition, his arms crossed and his face passive. His rival for love, however, seemed rather at ease about the entire situation, figure hunched over and hands in his pockets.
"Light-kun doesn't need a dog, he needs somebody who is his equal. Also, I'm not the one who bakes sugar-free cookies for Light-kun." L's messy hair covered his eyes, making his glare seem even creepier. Mikami stiffened from the words before growling under his breath.
"I am not a dog, I'm a life-long companion who will always listen to what Kami says. You were trying to arrest him!" The suit-wearing twenty-something year old glowered, arms uncrossed and fist clenched. L jutted out his bottom lip, almost pouting,
"I'm not now, and besides- Light-kun liked being chained to me." L hissed out as Mikami flinched back in shock. His eyes widened and he looked between a faintly blushing Light and a triumphant L.
"K-Kami! Tell this... this... monkey that you would rather spend your days with someone who unconditionally follows you!" Mikami made wild gestures with his hands, pointing to the scowling L. The detective turned to face a slightly bemused Light,
"Tell this obsessive fanboy that you would rather stay by my side, Light-kun. With someone who you can have intellectual conversations with." Mikami and L both turned to each other and glared darkly.
Light on the other hand was having a bit of an internal crisis. Mikami was unstable enough as it was, saying no to him might cause Teru to attack him. L was a bit saner, but was bound to turn him into the police if he rejected the detective.
"Can't you both just get along?" The black haired men turned to the young Yagami, who looked a bit nervous. The two shook their heads, simultaneously shouting,
"No." Light groaned, running a hand through his hair. He was a God, he should be able to fix this problem. As the two began bickering, Light finally came up with a decent idea.
"At least I don't treat everything like it has deadly germs."
"At least I don't follow Light-kun like a pathetic puppy."
"Guys, how about we all compromise?" Light didn't wait for an answer.
"You will share. L can have my mouth and Mikami can have my ass. You two never have to touch. Deal?" Light asked, looking towards both older men. The two seemed to think it over carefully.
"We'd need to see if it would work..."
"...right now would be the best time..."
'What hath I wrought?'
When an innocent Sayu walked into the room to ask her brother what he wanted for dinner, she was greeted by the sight of her (naked) brother choking on something long, and L and Mikami (naked as well) trying to help him. She gasped, pointing to her brother in total shock,
"Nii-san! There's a snake going in your mouth and coming out your rear! Don't worry, I'll go get Dad!
A/N: What hath I wrought was a phrase I thought of putting a few days after I uploaded this chapter. I just never had the energy to fix it. Lol for puns and biblical refrences.