"So what exactly is this?" Princess Peach asked as she held the red-colored vacuum.

Captain Falcon laughed heartily as he slapped Peach on the butt, shouting to her, "Peach, mah gal, this here is the Portification 9000! It'll suck up anything in a jiff!"

Peach blankly stared at Captain Falcon as a tumbleweed went by.

"The... ehh... a... jiff... wha...?"

Captain Falcon rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Hey, I didn't say it made sense."

Peach sighed as she placed the vacuum machine on her back. "I have a strange feeling that this will not work..." She murmured as she still felt awkward about using the vacuum as a backpack.

Captain Falcon scoffed as he patted Peach on the head, ensuring her, "Don't worry, my sweet. Captain Falcon ensures that thing can suck up anything?"

"Anything?" Peach cooed back as she covered her mouth.

Princess Peach farted. However, the vacuum turned itself on and sucked up the fart, much to Peach's astonishment.

"See? What did I tell you?" Captain Falcon replied as he chuckled, making a heroical pose. "No one gets hunches right like Captain Falcon!"

Peach rolled her eyes as she exited the secret lab. "Whatever. Don't do anything stupid here while I'm busy kicking ass." And thus, the blonde princess headed back to the beachhouse, to kick ass and take some names...

...What? You thought I was actually going to write the entire thing? Ha! You're even lucky to see this chapter at all, buddy!

"Well... I got... all the ghosts..." Peach gasped as she felt like collapsing on herself.

Captain Falcon held Peach up, patting the exhausted blonde princess on the back. "There there, princess. You did your job. Now why don't you just relax and rest up..."

Peach dropped her jaw in disbelief as she stared at Captain Falcon. "Rest up? I gotta save Mario!"

"...But... Mario is not here." Captain Falcon stated as he rubbed the back of his head, sweatdropping.

Peach started shaking as she refused to belief Captain Falcon. "Sure he is! The whole point of me being here was to save Mario!" She pouted as she folded her arms, turning around to face you, the viewers. "What's going on here! I demand the narrator this instant!"

Silence.

"...Well, that's one way to gain an audience," Waluigi suddenly interrupted as he laughed, knocking Captain Falcon down with ease.

"WALUIGI!" Princess Peach exclaimed as she farted again, leaving this chapter with a stupid, pointless cliffhanger.