A/N: This story is from Sam Uley's point-of-view, and it takes place just before the accident. Sam struggles with the heartbreaking decision to let Emily go while he is waiting to meet her. We know that this meeting ended in tragedy, but what went through his mind right before that fateful meeting? This is my first fan fiction, so I hope you enjoy it.
Update: Thank you to everyone for your feedback. After reading your reviews, I made some changes to the story. Hopefully for the better :)
Disclaimer: All characters, settings, etc belong to Stephenie Meyer, ruler of the Twilight Universe.
Please Forgive Me
Dusk arrives as I frantically pace the secluded shores of Second Beach. The gentle waves roll onto the beach, and the sky glows with radiant shades of purple, blue, and pink. It is the very picture of peace and serenity, but it does not comfort me. I am waiting for her to come, so I can break her heart as well as my own. I take a deep breath, and try to relax my face. I need to be believable, but I know my eyes will betray my true feelings for I cannot hide my agony.
Oh God. I don't want to do this. I can't do this.
I turn sharply on my heel in order to re-trace my footsteps in the sand for the thousandth time. I attempt to gather my chaotic thoughts, but they are out of my control. They fly in all sorts of directions. I concentrate harder, and soon I see her face. Long, crow-black hair frames a familiar oval face. Large brown eyes stare out at me underneath dark lashes. Below her eyes sits a strong, yet delicate nose. And her soft lips are pulled into a heartwarming smile.
Oh, she's so beautiful, so gentle, so loving. And I'm about to lose her.
I suddenly fall to my knees, and my back hunches forward. I place my hands in front of me to support my weight and my despair.
How can I live without her?
Soon memories of her flood my mind. The feel of her cheek against my chest as her breath tickles my neck during a late-night embrace. Her silky hair flutters in the ocean breeze as I chase her along the beach. The feel of her kiss…
How could I live knowing that I would never feel those things again? It would be impossible to endure.
I lift my hands off the ground, and move so that my legs are no longer under me. Instead, I stretch them out, only to bend them once more until my knees are safely tucked to my chest. I encircle my knees with my arms, and carefully place my forehead on top. I feel small and confined.
Why? Why is this happening to me? Of all the times to come back, those filthy bloodsuckers had to come back now and ruin my only happiness. It's those damn vampires! I'll kill every single one of them. It's all their fault!
Rage builds inside me, burning every inch of my skin. I grip some wet sand until my knuckles turn white and my hands feel raw. I begin to shake, and that horrible feeling washes over me. It's the feeling that warns me that a transformation will soon take place.
No. Stay calm. Don't get angry. She'll be here soon. I must maintain control.
I wrap my arms around my legs and return my head to my knees.
But why must I lose her? She's all I have. She's all I'll ever want. Maybe I should run.
I whip my head up into the air, and scan the beach with my eyes. I don't see her. My mind attempts to rationalize the option.
If I run, then I won't have to tell her, and things will go back to normal. I could just leave and tell her I forgot. I'll just tell her I forgot that I was supposed to meet her tonight.
My heart fills with false hope that is short-lived.
No. It can never go back to normal. I'm just an animal now, and she can't be near me. I don't deserve her.
I feel the tears well up in my eyes, and I fight hard to not blink. For I know that if one tear escapes, I will not be able to stop the rest from flowing. Again, I rest my head back on my hands.
How can a beast, a monster, be worthy of her love? No. I need to keep her safe. I must say away. I cannot entangle her in my hideous curse. I must be strong.
I slowly stand and walk towards the water's edge. The gentle waves lick my feet, and I start to sink into the sand. I look to the horizon, and focus on the line that separates the sky from the sea. Finally, I feel a sense of calm.
As long as she's free and safe, my sacrifice will be worth it. Even my curse would be a little easier to bear.
I hear a voice call to me from afar. I see her running towards me with a smile on her face.
Yes, it will be worth it. I love you, Emily. Please forgive me.