Chapter 2 – A Talk
Just as I am
about to enter the building he lives in I notice a well-known person leaving.
what are You doing here ?"
"I just wanted
to visit Takeru."
She looks at me
as if I wasn't myself. I think I understand why, usually I try to avoid 'this'.
Takeru, that's new…" She tries to hold back a giggle.
"I know, but
there's something I'm thinking about lately and I hope he can help me to figure
out. I have a feeling that he can probably help me in this point."
"He's at home, I
wanted to invite him to the cinema, but he has diarrhea and I doubt that it'd
be good at this time for us being at the cinema. If you knock or use the bell,
You should be patient, it could take a little time for him answering."
"Have You told
him yet ? You know about what…"
"No, I hoped at
the cinema, but… Not yet and I'm still afraid about his feelings towards me."
"You should, You
could be surprised…" I add a smirk, the best I have.
everyone tells me the same…"
the truth ? I don't want to hinder You, I'll see You."
"Bye…" She waves
at me and heads to her home.
I don't know
why, but I feel that after this whole love-incident we got better friends,
especially by knowing and accepting that we can only be friends I worship this
situation much more than this before. I understand why we don't fit together,
I'm too much alike her brother and I have nearly the same feelings as her
brother towards her. I like to think about her like a sister I never had than a
Leaving the last
thoughts aside I enter the building and head to his apartment. I use the
door-bell and receive a quiet answer that he's coming in a few. I remember the
last time I had this, I nearly lived on our toilet, I can understand why it
takes this much time.
I patently wait
a few minutes until he opens the front door. He looks surprised seeing me, but
says nothing in this way.
"Oh hi, Daisuke,
I expected everyone else than You."
"I know, that's
partly a reason why I'm here. I think I need to talk to You."
"No problem, I
hope You understand if I sometimes run as fast as possible to the toilet ?"
"I met Hikari
just a few minutes ago, I know. I hope You get better soon."
"Come in, best
we talk in my room, don't ask me where Patamon is, probably he's emptying our
"Is he as bad as
"I don't know, but
Pata can be very hungry"
Meanwhile we go
into his room. I notice that I never was in his room before, once I was in his
living room, but never in his domain. It's definitely the opposite of my own,
it's so clean and I doubt that his mom cleans this up.
"I know how much
Veemon eats, I'm only grateful that my parents know about him, before he nearly
killed my allowance."
"Take a seat
where You want, about what do You want to talk about ?"
"About us, I'm
trying to figure out the last days why we behave like rivals or sometimes like
enemies. And that's confusing me. I think that I'm the only reason but why I
"I know how You
feel, I had these thoughts many times before too. But one I can tell You, it's
not only You, I'm partly guilty too. I barely tried to avoid the fights,
sometimes I like them, don't ask me why. But then I remember Yamato and Taichi
a long time ago…"
"I never thought
that they are the best friends, were they really that bad ?"
"No, they were
worse. There was once a time Yamato tried to kill Taichi, one of his worst
times. But we couldn't blame him, partly he was brainwashed by a cherrymon. But
there was a time of great rivalry between them. And the worst I was one of the
"But how could
this end without a disaster ? What happened ?"
"First they were
saved by the bell, Hikari was possessed by a spirit which told us about our
history, why we were chosen. At that time Yamato decided to leave the team to
find his way and he found it. I still try to remember how he found his way
although I doubt that it'd help us here…"
it ? At least we'd have a start."
It's his way, You can't simply compare Yourself with him and modify his
way simply. You have to find your way by yourself. To be honest, I tried
before, but it made the situation only worse in my mind. At that time I really
thought of You as an enemy. But I had luck at that time to be at vacation."
comparing, I tried to figure out why I am jealous, but everytime I got either
an advanced or an equal situation. And that's odd."
have only looked at the first oblivious facts. But better forget trying to
compare Yourself with others. Once I made this too, I compared myself with my
brother and have only seen his qualities. But at that time I forgot about my
Huh ? What does
he mean ? Comparing with others could let You forget Your own qualities ?
interesting, can You explain this ?"
"I try but after
a toilet break. Do You like something to eat or drink ?"
"Uhhh… Why not
this word he runs out of his room.
I have some time
to look around, perhaps I can understand him a little bit more.
Like I noticed
before, it's a clean room, it isn't perfect but if I compared it with mine it's
definitely clean. I notice many pictures, some at the wall, some on his desk
and drawer. There are two of both teams alone and one of both intertwined. But
he also has pictures of everyone alone with its digimon. Even I have my own
picture here although it's not the best place but I have to respect him to have
a picture of 'his rival' in his room. To be honest I'd never thought about
this. But the best picture is one with him and Hikari in it in front of an
American shop or so. If I had ever doubts about them this picture shows how
they fit together. It hangs at the best spot in his room, definitely a sign how
much he worships it. His bed isn't made, but being ill I guess that he usually
uses it if noone is around. In his room is also an own computer although it
isn't the newest model, but who cares, he has his own, I have to use my dad's
shared with Jun. But on the other hand I own a video console and he not, I
think we are somehow equal in this way. And again I compared him with myself,
but why ?
I notice that he
returns with two sodas and a package of cookies.
hard to keep it this way, but my mom isn't allowed to enter it when I'm away.
It's a deal between us, she never checks my room and I never hers."
"Good idea, but
I doubt that my mom would do this, she'd break her legs if she tries."
"A few years ago
my room was nearly as bad and I broke a leg in it and it was summer. No fun at
all. Since then I keep my room clean."
Perhaps I should clean my room too, but it's too much for me."
"A hint, begin
slowly, don't overdo Yourself. Perhaps every day half an hour, not much time
but it's worth."
"Good idea, but
I think we were talking about something else…"
forgetting Your own qualities. I remember the time I compared myself with my brother,
I ever wished I would be as strong as him, he looked like as if he took the
whole divorce 'like a man', he never showed a bad emotion about it, but geeze I
was totally wrong, he took it worse than me, he bottled everything up. But
noone saw this. At that time I tried to be like him, but everytime failed. I
wasn't that strong as he looked like, I was in our group at the beginning the
crybaby, but it began to change after Angemon's death…"
Angemon died ? I
never thought about this, but this could explain why he reacts so bad around
the darkness. I understand why he never told anyone, the only one who can
understand him is Ken, he also lost his digimon once…
"I had to be
strong at least for regaining Patamon. It took a long time really to understand
my own way and my own strength. Finally I understood as Hikari joint our team.
Since then I wasn't any longer the youngest kid, it was Hikari. She was most of
the time sick and needed my strength to continue. Finally at the battle with
Piedmon I understood my own strength, not by comparing with others, I am strong
as long I have hope. You have Your own strengths as You showed at our last
battle against Malomyotismon or as You offered Ken a second chance. These are
the moments You showed Your best qualities. Don't try to be someone You aren't,
be simply Yourself; it takes some time to understand but it's worth."
Be myself ? Am I
not myself the last months. He's right, I tried to be more like him.
"But sometimes I
have a feeling that I don't deserve the digiegg of friendship. Best example is
our relationship, we should be friends, but I think most of the time of You as
an enemy, it's odd…"
Replace the word 'enemy' with 'rival' and it describes our relation better, but
despite of this we 'are' friends. A rivalry doesn't make a friendship
worthless, but in this point I recommend You to ask my brother, 'friendship' is
his métier. We are friends although not good but at least we are. But sometimes
we forget this, and yes I said 'we'. I forget this too especially when I
bottled my anger too long."
We are friends ?
– Definitely yes, I only forget this fact, he's definitely right in this point.
But why ? – I remember our rivalry…
"That brings us
to my first question, why do I see in You my rival ? I still try to figure out.
Why am I jealous of You ? And in one point it's not Hikari."
"She's not, that
really was my first thought. But why are You sure about this ?"
You love her, she loves You and I never loved her in this way, I only love her
as a sister I never had. There was a time I thought that I loved her, but after
her confession I felt relieve not jealousy; at that time I began to think about
our relation. Everything I ever told myself was either a lie or only one point
miss something I have. What do You see in me, what do I 'have' You don't. Never
forget, jealousy is something which is created of someone else having something
You don't. I know why I am jealous of You although I hardly try to leave this
behind. You have a complete family, something I miss since my parents' divorce,
something I worship You. I still hope that my parents would get back together
but I know that this won't happen, not after these years. I'm happy that I can
see my dad more frequent now. Until I moved back I only saw him on my or
Yamato's birthdays and once or twice else. And my brother I saw him nearly as
often. You don't know how it feels, if You haven't anyone to lend You a
shoulder if You need one. I really never had a 'family', I only have a mother,
a brother and a father, but no family. And then there was the feeling of
loneliness, I had over the years, something I never wish someone else to feel.
But to be honest I am jealous of most of my friends in that point, nearly
everyone has a family, except for two noone can understand how I feel. Only
Koushiro and Ken know this feeling."
"Why Ken I know,
but why Koushiro. I know that he has both parents although he hasn't a
"I can't tell
You, ask Koushiro perhaps he'll tell You. It's something personal."
"Okay, I don't
ask You about this again…"
If his life is
that worse, but why is he most of the time happy ? And why am I not with my own
situation ? – Could this be the reason ? – He's happy and I not although I have
the better condition…
"How comes that
You are most of the time happy even with Your situation ?"
something I learned a long time ago, I look only at the best moments of life
and try to forget the worse. I try to worship every minute with my dad or my
brother, I try to avoid looking back, I see only the present and future. Even
in bad situations I see the advantages of my life. If I have an argument with
my brother I can leave, go back home and give us time to calm down. For us it's
easy, we don't live in the same apartment, that's something You can't do. After
we calmed down we are able to clean up our argument. I learned to see the
advantages in bad situations and I'm used to have hope in life although I
remember what reality means. I hope that my parents would remarry but I know
that the chances are very slim for this."
I wished I would
see the world his way. He's able to see the best in every moment unimportant
how bad the situation is meanwhile I'm not. Can it be that that's the main
reason why I'm jealous of him ? He understands happiness, while I'm clueless. I
think I need some time to think all over.
"I hope it
doesn't sound nefarious but I think I need some time to think about all over."
"If You need
again someone to talk to You know how to reach me and take all time You need, I
know how long this can take, even I have some things to think over."
"Don't even do
it until You understand the situation. Simply take Your time for this."
"But You can
promise me one thing."
curious. "What ?"
"Tell her and
make her happy. You should know that she loves You too and if You wait too long
it might change."
I know I'd never
told him this a few weeks ago, but now I think it's the correct thing to do.
"I promise and
are You sure ?"
she even told me. Bye."
Before I leave I
give him a wink with my eye. I notice him shocked at his door staying but I
think I did the correct thing for both. Even if he's my rival I know now
that he is also my friend. I only have to figure out if he's still my
rival which I begin to doubt. I wished I have talked with him about this a long
time ago, we could be very good friends for a long time; I'm only happy that it
isn't too late now…