A/N: I don't own Three's Company, I just like writing it. In this story Larry doesn't know that Jack is roommates w/ Chrissy and Janet yet and it becomes interesting. ;)
"Janet can you iron these for me please?," Jack asked walking around with a shirt on and his boxers. His pants were in his hands spread out to Janet who was sitting on the couch reading.
"Jack! Iron your own pants!," Janet replied annoyed and got up when Chrissy entered the room.
"Chrissy will you iron my pants for me?," Jack asked. He figured if Janet won't do it maybe Chrissy will.
"No," she simply said. "Just wear wrinkled pants. Nobody is gonna' notice that they're wrinkled. In fact it doesn't even look wrinkled. You know when you think about it the backs of the pants by the knees get wrinkled when you walk because you're bending your legs but everybody has that so there's no need to iron them."
"Your "no" was good enough for me," Jack said giving up and putting on his pants.
"Hey Jack we're going to the Regal Beagle you wanna' come?," Janet asked ready to walk out the door.
"Yeah, but uh don't stand to close to me," Jack said getting up and heading to the door where Janet was standing and Chrissy also came over.
"Why?," Chrissy asked.
"Because all the other girls that are attracted to me might crush you and I don't want you two to get hurt," Jack explained and cracked his knuckles. Janet just glared at his egotistical remark.
"Okay," Chrissy said. Jack and Janet silently laughed at Chrissy by actually responding to Jack's response.
The Regal Beagle was pretty much deserted except for a couple of girls and the Ropers in the corner. Mrs. Roper was playing darts and Mr. Roper was just sitting drinking a beer.
"Hey look it's the Ropers," Chrissy said and hurried over to Mrs. Roper who missed the bulls-eye by two inches.
"Oh hi kids!," Mrs. Roper said stopping noticing her favorite tenants. "Stanley look it's the kids."
"So what," Stanley said unimpressed and continued to drink his beer.
"Forget him," Helen Roper said and turned all her attention to Jack, Janet, and Chrissy. "What are you kids doing down here anyway?".
"Just to hang out," Janet answered.
Stanley finished his beer and got up, "Come on Helen let's go home I'm done with my beer."
"What do I have to leave for why can't you just leave?," Helen asked annoyed because she was just striking up some conversation with some interesting people.
"Because we came here by car and I don't wanna' have to wait for you to come home and then I'll get hungry and nobody will be there to make me anything," Stanley explained.
"What does it matter anyway?," Helen replied. "I walk faster than that car goes… a snail can go faster than that car."
"Ha ha very funny Helen," Stanley said, "Let's just go Helen please."
"Oh well since you said please," Helen replied sarcastically. "I'll see you later kids." With that the Ropers left and the trio sat down at a table.
"Anything can go faster than Ropers' car," Jack said trying to keep that joke going. Janet and Chrissy laughed at that too. While the Ropers were talking Jack ordered three beers for himself, Janet, and Chrissy.
"Thanks for the beer Jack," Janet said holding the beer up.
"Yeah thanks," Chrissy said taking a sip.
"No problem girls… I do a favor for you… you can do a favor for me," Jack said spanning out what he was hinting at.
"We're not ironing your pants," Chrissy and Janet replied in unison. Jack than looked annoyed and sighed.
"Well this beer is going right through me… I'll be right back," Jack said getting up and eyeing some pretty girls. But instead of going over to the desired women he actually went to the bathroom to Chrissy and Janet's surprise.
"What do you know he actually went to the bathroom," Janet said surprised. Right after Janet said that Larry Dallas walked in (A/N: In this story Chrissy and Janet don't know Larry yet but Jack does).
"Hey Mike beer me," Larry said with his hand stretched out and got his desired drink when he noticed Chrissy and Janet at their table. He fixed his hair and lowered his shirt a little to expose a little chest hair and walked coolly over to their table.
"Helllllllllllo Ladies," Larry said real smoothly. "What are two gorgeous women doing sitting by themselves?".
"Enjoying themselves without you," Janet answered.
"Ha ha ha ha that's so funny," Larry said. Janet's insult didn't even faze him. "Well I was just wondering how would you two like to go on a double date? I have a buddy who is a little down on love and I just want to cheer him up."
"Awwwww," Chrissy said giving in to Larry's charms. "Is he really down on love?".
"Oh yes… in fact he really is getting depressed and I just want to cheer him up with a beautiful date," Larry replied placing his pointer finger and thumb under Chrissy's chin.
"Oh Janet I think we should go with him… don't you want to help cheer his friend up?," Chrissy asked fully engulfed in Larry's ruse. Janet looked like she was debating in her head but gave in and nodded.
"Okay… uh what is your name?," Janet asked and he just replied with "Larry".
"Uh and you'll find out my friend's name when you meet him… you know let it be a blind date for one of you," Larry said.
"So which one of us lucky girls get to have you as a date?," Janet asked sarcastically.
"I'm glad you asked sweetheart. I'll take you and your friend here will take my buddy," Larry replied. "By the way honey what are your names?".
"I'm Janet and this is Chrissy," Janet replied and presented Chrissy.
"Great well how about we meet here tonight say about seven thirty?," Larry asked. "Then the fun will begin." Chrissy and Janet nodded, Larry smiled, clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth and winked at them as he exited the Regal Beagle.
"Boy that guy was more full of himself than Jack," Janet observed after Larry left.
"Yeah but at least we'll be helping out his friend," Chrissy said looking on the positive side of things. Janet responded with a look that said "I guess" as Jack came back to the table.
"Sorry I took so long girls I had more than the beer go through me," Jack said as he sat down a little uncomfortably.
"Guess what Jack… we have dates tonight," Chrissy said changing the subject before Jack could even start to explain what else went through him.
"That's great now you'll be out of my way tonight when I get one," Jack said and cracked his knuckles again eyeing the same girls he was before. The eyed girls got up rolled their eyes and left.
"Yeah Jack I see how lucky you'll be getting tonight," Janet joked. "Well I'd love to stay here and watch you score Jack but Chrissy and I are gonna' head back home so we can relax and get ready for tonight."
"Okay see you later girls," Jack said waving as they got up and left the restaurant. Right after they left Larry came back in and spotted Jack.
"Hey pal," Larry said and sat down next to Jack. "Guess what?".
"What?," Jack asked finishing up his beer.
"I just got us some very good-looking dates for tonight," Larry said and made a "hot" motion with his hands.
"Oh yeah?," Jack said his tone lightening up a bit because he was thinking of those girls he was eyeing before. If he couldn't get them than Larry probably did.
"Yeah! We're meeting them here tonight at seven thirty. All you have to think about bud is do you wanna' head to my apartment afterwards or your apartment?," Larry hinted elbowing Jack in his arm. Jack started to laugh along with Larry getting his meaning.
"Okay well I'll see you tonight then Larry," Jack said getting up and heading home also to relax and get ready for his date later that night. Larry stayed at the restaurant to maybe have a couple of beers as he waved goodbye to his friend. It was going to be one interesting evening and definitely one memorable blind date for Jack Tripper.
Back at Apartment 201 the trio were playing musical bathroom. Janet went in and then out followed by Chrissy, Jack wasn't as lucky to get in the bathroom.
"Chrissy would you come out of there… I have a date!," Jack yelled annoyed.
"Yeah well so do I and I wanna' look really good," Chrissy replied. "Why don't you talk to Janet while you're waiting or something."
"Why don't you talk to Janet while you're waiting or something," Jack mimicked in a mocking tone and plopped down on the couch giving up.
"That is why I got here earlier Jack so I didn't have to wait for Chrissy to come out," Janet said joining Jack on the couch.
"Why is she trying to look good? She doesn't have to try," Jack said annoyed. "Who is this guy she's gonna' go with anyway?".
"I don't know… she's got a blind date," Janet replied. "I'm only going with this other guy because he wants to help out his friend and Chrissy felt bad and wanted to help too."
"How sweet," Jack said. "So you're only going out with a guy so Chrissy'll be happy by helping somebody else out?".
"Yup," she simply replied.
"You're too nice Janet," Jack said. Janet smiled and said a small "thank you" but Jack continued, "That is your only flaw." After he said that Janet hit him and he gave out a huge "Ow" just as Chrissy exited the bathroom. When she exited the bathroom Jack forgot about his pain in his arm.
"Well how do I look guys?," Chrissy asked. She was standing right next to Jack who stood up as soon as he saw her.
"You look great Chrissy," Janet said. She was dressed pretty casually with some jeans and a regular shirt.
"You look better than great Chrissy. You look fantastic. Whoever is going with you tonight is very lucky… by the way Janet tells me you don't even know what he looks like," Jack said.
"Yeah, his friend said he was really depressed and it isn't fun to be depressed and I wanted to help out so I agreed to go out with him. And who knows maybe we might hit it off," Chrissy replied.
"Jack the bathroom's open," Janet said trying to tear Jack's attention from Chrissy to what he was actually waiting for.
"What?," Jack asked not really paying any attention. Janet pointed to the bathroom and Jack got the point. He averted his attention from Chrissy to Janet and then headed to the bathroom.
"Jack! It's getting close to seven thirty so we're gonna' head out!," Janet said after knocking on the bathroom door.
Jack opened the door and said, "All right… I'll see you girls later. Have fun." He gave Janet and Chrissy a kiss on the lips before they both left. "Boy I sure have it rough here," Jack thought as he closed the bathroom door again after his two roommates left for their dates.
"I hope he's nice," Chrissy said to Janet as they entered the Regal Beagle.
"Well if he's down on love and depressed he's probably nice. Those are the only guys that are nice," Janet replied as they spotted Larry and sat down in the booth where he was waiting. They were facing the opposite direction of the door so only Larry could be seen.
"Hello girls," Larry said as they sat down. "Wow you girls look great."
"Gee thanks," Janet replied. She wasn't too happy to be on this date. The only reason she was doing this was for Chrissy. She loved to help people and she just came along for the ride. One thing was for sure… Larry wasn't getting to second base.
"Larry?," Chrissy started. Larry turned his attention to Chrissy as she continued, "Why is your friend so depressed?".
"Well," Larry began trying to think of a believable story. "Judy was one of his girlfriends and he was starting to get really serious with her. Then one day when they were out on a date she just dropped him like yesterday's newspaper… she said that there was somebody else. That was two months ago."
"Why'd you wait so long to help him then?," Janet asked believing his story. If there was one thing Larry was good at it was making up stories… after all he is a used car salesman.
"He didn't want me to help him. He was too proud," Larry explained, "I finally convinced him to go out on another date… to move on with his life." Janet and Chrissy both looked sad believing his every word. "Damn I'm good," Larry thought to himself when he saw his companions' faces. "Jack isn't gonna' know how to thank me."
"Oh well then Larry I'm glad I came along so your friend didn't have to date all alone," Janet said thinking Larry wasn't that bad of a guy after all. All he wanted to do was help out his friend of course neither Chrissy nor Janet knew it was their roommate. They sat in silence for a moment when Jack walked through the door. Larry excused himself from the table and walked over to Jack.
"Hey buddy," Larry said as he walked up to Jack.
"Where are they?," Jack asked and Larry just pointed over to the booth. Jack couldn't even see the tops of their heads but looked in the direction anyway.
"I told them you were depressed so look sad when you first see them," Larry said and Jack abided. "Get the drinks Jack and then the fun will begin." Jack went over to Mike to get all their drinks as Larry headed back over to the table where the scene was going to get interesting.
"Is he here?," Chrissy asked starting to get excited. Larry just nodded and Chrissy smiled and started to fix her hair.
"Thanks Mike," Jack said carrying all four drinks very carefully in both of his hands. He had the girls' drinks between his fingers while he was holding his and Larry's beers in his other hand. Larry flagged him over and Jack came over and saw their dates.
"Ahhhhh!!!," Jack yelled when he saw who they were and he flailed his arms up in the air breaking each glass and having the drinks spill all over him.
"Jack what's the matter?," Larry asked getting up. Janet and Chrissy were just staring at Jack in shock.
"Uh uh uh I just s-stepped on something sharp," Jack lied thinking of something fast. "Larry why don't you go get some more drinks while I sit down." Larry nodded and patted Jack on the shoulder as Jack sat down just as in much of shock as the other two people at the table.
Finally Chrissy snapped out of it and asked, "Jack why didn't you tell us you were depressed? And I didn't know about any Judy. You never told us about her." Janet and Jack snapped out of it as well after Chrissy asked her awkward question.
"Chrissy Jack's not depressed Larry just said that," Janet answered for Jack. Chrissy just replied with an "oh". "Jack what are we gonna' do we can't go on with this date."
"Sure we can Janet just relax," Jack replied. "Here you get over here and I'll sit next to Chrissy. We'll pretend we don't know each other and just go on with the date okay?". Instead of getting up Jack climbed over Janet and they both let out "ows" and "heys". Jack finally got situated next to Chrissy as Janet was breathing out heavily angry at Jack for not just getting up.
"Fine," Janet said, "But sooner or later please tell Larry about us."
"Okay I'll tell him that he's not getting anywhere with either of you and I'll break it to him easily that I live with you two," Jack answered. Janet nodded her head in agreement and Jack turned his head to Chrissy and asked, "So does that sound good Chrissy?... Chrissy?".
"I don't talk to people I don't know," Chrissy replied. Jack glared at her and gave a frustrated sigh. She smiled at him and gave a small laugh showing Jack she was just kidding as Larry came back with the new drinks.
"I see you guys are having a good time already," Larry said sitting down next to Janet.
"Yeah Jack's a lot of fun," Chrissy said already putting the plan to action.
"I hope you didn't feel too lonely Janet," Larry said inching closer to her. She just gave a slight shake of the head. "Say after we're done here what say we go back to Jack's place. Sound good?". Janet and Chrissy shrugged their shoulders an okay. "You're roommates aren't home are they Jack? I still have yet to meet them."
"Oh Larry I can guarantee they're not home," Jack replied. They finished their drinks pretty quickly and headed over to the apartment. "Well here we are at my humble abode." Everybody entered as Jack shut the door. Chrissy and Janet headed for the couch happy to be home and just waiting for Jack to break the news to Larry he wasn't going to get anywhere near lucky tonight.
"Great place Jack," Chrissy said keeping up the charade.
"Yeah it's really kept clean. Looks like somebody does their share of the cleaning around here," Janet complimented also trying to keep their plan going.
"Jack why don't you get some music going?," Larry suggested leaning in on Janet.
"Actually I'm kind of hungry," Janet said stalling, "Jack would you mind pointing me in the direction of the kitchen? Come on Chrissy." Jack pointed it out and they quickly got up and went into the kitchen. Janet almost pulled Chrissy's arm out of her socket when they got into the kitchen.
"Well Jack I think we got some live ones," Larry said leaning back on the couch. Jack smiled weakly and excused himself going into the kitchen to see what his roommates were truly up to.
"What's up girls?," Jack asked as he came into the kitchen.
"What's up? What's up? Jack, you've gotta' tell Larry the truth. If he's one of your friends I'm sure it won't be much longer before he's expecting something he won't be getting," Janet said annoyed.
"What?," Chrissy asked oblivious. Janet mimed passionate kissing and it took a second before Chrissy got wide-eyed getting the idea.
"Don't worry guys I'll tell him before he does any of that," Jack said trying to calm them down. While the trio were in the kitchen there was a knock at the door so Larry being a good guest answered it. Mr. Roper was on the other side of the door looking confused when he saw Larry answer.
"Larry? What are you doing up here?," Mr. Roper asked confused to see one of his other tenants in the wrong apartment.
"Oh I'm just here with Jack," Larry replied not realizing his answer gave Mr. Roper a really wrong idea. Mr. Roper put a smile on his face thinking the wrong thing. Larry looked at Mr. Roper's smile very confused. "Did you want to see Jack, Mr. Roper?".
"Oh sure sure," Mr. Roper replied and Larry went into the kitchen to go get him. "I'll wait right here."
"Jack, Mr. Roper is here," Larry said walking into the kitchen. Larry's entrance took everybody by surprise and Janet and Chrissy jumped and looked like they were attaching themselves to Jack. "Now Jack don't steal my date too. Mr. Roper is waiting."
"O-Okay," Jack stammered. "Come on girls." Janet and Chrissy followed Jack like they were scared to stay in a room with Larry alone. "He is trying to steal my date too. I never thought he'd do that to me…especially after I got his date for him," Larry thought a little angry and followed everybody into the living room.
"Hi Mr. Roper," Jack said when he got into the living room. "What can I do you for?". Jack folded his arms waiting for Mr. Roper's response. "As if I didn't have enough problems tonight Mr. Roper had to come into the equation," Jack thought to himself while he was waiting for Mr. Roper to answer his question.
"Oh I was just coming to remind you about your rent," Mr. Roper answered.
"Thank you Mr. Roper I'll be sure to get it to you when I can," Jack said starting to lead him out the front door but he went right back in and Jack looked frustrated.
"So Larry said he was here with you," Mr. Roper said starting to strike up some conversation. Jack got Mr. Roper's meaning right away and turned on "Gay Jack". Janet and Chrissy saw Jack's expression and knew that they didn't have to interfere because Jack was going to get Mr. Roper out just by touching him and making him really uncomfortable.
"Yeeeeeeeeeeees, and do you wanna' stay here and watch Mr. Roper? It might be oodles and oodles of fun," Jack said and started to bat his eyelashes really fast at Mr. Roper. Mr. Roper started to stutter a bunch of "Nos" and quickly left. While Jack was speaking Larry looked really confused and in desperate need of an explanation.
"Oh Jack that was wonderful," Janet complimented and gave him a sideways hug on his left side.
"Yeah Jack you always know how to get Mr. Roper out of here in a hurry," Chrissy piped in and hugged Jack on his right side. Now Larry looked really confused.
"Would you mind telling me what that was all about?," Larry asked. The trio looked over to Larry, they almost forgot he was there they were laughing so hard. "Jack are you trying to steal my date?".
"Oh yeah Larry sorry," Jack said ready to explain. Janet and Chrissy remained hugging Jack. "I'm not trying to steal your date Larry… I could have 'em anytime I want." After that remark Jack got elbowed on each side of his stomach by the girls ceasing his laughter after his smart aleck remark.
"Have that Jack!," Janet said and went into her bedroom. Chrissy glared at Jack and said, "Just explain yourself to Larry so we can eat some dinner." Chrissy went into her room too and closed the door.
"Why'd they storm in your roommates' bedroom?," Larry asked still mulling over what happened with their landlord.
"'Cause that's their bedroom," Jack replied.
"Because uh I think they'll get mad… what did you say?," Larry said and then asked after he heard what Jack actually said.
"That's their bedroom Larry. I live with two girls. I live with Janet and Chrissy. That business you saw with Mr. Roper well see he'd never let a guy live with two girls so I have to pretend I'm gay in order to live here, that's what you saw. I'm not really gay… I just have to pretend and nothing goes on with the three of us we just have a friendship," Jack said explaining everything. Larry just stood completely still his mouth hanging open and eyes wide.
Janet and Chrissy came out of their bedroom seeing Jack waving his hand in front of Larry's face. He was still in the same position after Jack revealed the truth. "Is he okay, Jack?," Janet asked and came around to face Larry.
"He looks funny," Chrissy noticed.
"I told him I live with two girls and that I have to pretend to be gay to live here in front of Mr. Roper and then he just froze," Jack explained. Chrissy waved her hand in front of Larry's face and he finally snapped out of it.
"You actually live with two girls?," Larry asked finally coming out of his trance. Jack just nodded. "And you mean to tell me that there isn't anything going on with the three of you?". Jack shook his head answering his every question waiting for his friend to be okay with it.
"Are you okay Larry?," Janet asked starting to feel some sympathy for the man. Chrissy looked on concerned too.
"Yeah yeah yeah… I'm fine," Larry said comprehending everything. "It was great meeting you girls and I hope we can be good friends."
"Sure Larry," Janet and Chrissy replied in unison.
"I'll see you guys later and get a real date if you don't mind," Larry said starting to leave. Janet and Chrissy motioned for him to leave indicating it was fine with them. "Jack could you lead me out please?".
"Sure Larry," Jack said walking his friend out.
"He took that better than expected," Chrissy said sitting on the couch. Janet smiled agreeing with her best friend.
"I'll see you later," Jack said patting Larry on the back.
"Wait a sec, Jack," Larry said stopping Jack. "You mean to tell me that there really isn't anything going on between any of you?".
"Yeah," Jack simply replied.
"Okay whatever you say Jack… but know this," Larry replied, "I idolize you." With that Larry walked away probably heading over to the Regal Beagle. Jack went back into his apartment to join his other two best friends.
"So how is he?," Chrissy asked.
"He's fine… he took it fine," Jack said and sat on the couch in between Janet and Chrissy. "And it made me think how lucky I am to live with you two girls."
"Awww," Janet said and leaned her head on Jack. Chrissy leaned her head on Jack too. Jack let out a small smile creep out on his face.
"So do you guys wanna' finish the date?," Jack asked.
"Sure Jack as long as you're cooking," Janet said and went into the kitchen followed by Chrissy.
"Yeah… I'll be cooking all right," Jack said and went into the kitchen with a mischievous grin plastered on his face.
"JACK!!!!!!!," Chrissy and Janet yelled in unison and pushed him out the kitchen door making him do a summersault and land right on his butt. Jack sighed and put his knee up, positioned his arm on his knee and put his chin in the palm of his hand and sighed.
A/N: I hope you all liked my first attempt at a Three's Company story. This idea has been in my head forever and I figured it was about time I got it down on paper. Please review if you want I just appreciate you reading this... thanks.