A/N: I will never own Harry Potter but if I did, Malfoy would've never existed… and Ron and Hermione would've been making out after the Yule Ball instead of arguing… XP I also do not own the song Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. There may be some OOC on Hermione's part… XP


Girlfriend

'Argh, I absolutely despise Lavender Brown, that blonde hussy! And I can't believe Ron is just sitting there letting her suck his throat out! Disgusting!'

Hermione dashed up the stairs to the 6th year girls' dormitory where she continued to fume and curse the existence of Lavender Brown and the daftness of one Ronald Weasley. A knock on the door brought her out of thoughts however and when she answers, there stood her best friend, Ginny Weasley.

"Hey, I couldn't bear to be down anymore watching those two at it like Death Eaters were invading the place or something," Ginny said as Hermione started pacing the room. Hermione however, wasn't paying any attention to Ginny's words but thinking of a plan to get Ron away from the blonde bimbo. Seeing her expression, Ginny caught on and spoke up. "How exactly are you going to get Ron now?" she inquired.

Hermione looked at the younger girl and shrugged but then something caught her eye. She looked over at it and discovered that it was the CD that she got during the Christmas holidays from a friend back home. She remembered the song that has been stuck in her head because it resembles her own predicament. 'Perfect.'

Hermione turned to her friend with a devious smirk amongst her features. "Ginny, I have the perfect plan." Ginny just smirked, knowing fully well what Hermione Jane Granger was capable of. Ron was going to grovel at Hermione's feet when this was over.

The next night, Hermione's plan was ready and all she needed was for Ron and Lavender to be in the common room doing what they always do. She looked out the door of her dorm and from her seat next to Harry; Ginny signaled her that the couple was snogging away as usual. She nodded and pulled back into the room.

She looked herself over in the mirror and silently approved of the attire Ginny chose for her. (A/N: I'm not good with clothes' descriptions so just think something that would get people's attention but nothing too slutty or anything. XP) Checking to make sure that the charm she placed on the stereo worked, Hermione took a deep breath and thus began her plan.

The very moment she stepped out the door, all eyes fell upon her. She took another breath and confidently walked down the steps. Making it to the middle of the common room, she placed the stereo on the floor and pressed play. She looked directly at Ron, who broke away from Lavender to see what was going on. Upon seeing Hermione's chose of clothing, his eye widened to the size of saucers and his jaw lay wide open. She smirked at him and that's when the music started.

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I don't like your girlfriend!

No way! No way!

I think you need a new one

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I know that you like me

No way! No way!

You know it's not a secret

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I want to be your girlfriend

As she sang that part she gestured to Lavender and everyone knew who she was doing this for. As she continued to sing Lavender futilely attempted to get Ron's attention but unfortunately, all were failures. She looked flabbergasted when she realized that she was 'The Girlfriend'.

You're so fine

I want you mine

You're so delicious

I think about ya all the time

You're so addictive

Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?

Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious

And Hell Yeah

I'm the motherfucking princess

I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right

She's like so whatever

And you could do so much better

I think we should get together now

And that's what everyone's talking about!

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I don't like your girlfriend!

No way! No way!

I think you need a new one

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I know that you like me

No way! No way!

You know it's not a secret

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I want to be your girlfriend

Hermione started swaying provocatively towards Ron, nearly seating herself on his lap as she continued to sing with a fire in her brown eyes.

I can see the way, I see the way you look at me

And even when you look away I know you think of me

I know you talk about me all the time again and again

So come over here, tell me what I want to hear

Better yet make your girlfriend disappear

I don't want to hear you say her name ever again

(And again and again and again!)

She's like so whatever

And you could do so much better

I think we should get together now

And that's what everyone's talking about!

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I don't like your girlfriend!

No way! No way!

I think you need a new one

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I know that you like me

No way! No way!

You know it's not a secret

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I want to be your girlfriend

At this point everyone in the common room was laughing Hermione as she took out her wand and with a simple flick of it, a bucket of water appeared over Lavender's head and poured its contents on her. She gasped as the water soaked every dry area of her body. She glared at Hermione and turned to Ron, but he was busy laughing and watching Hermione to notice.

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger

Cause I can, cause I can do it better

There's no other

So when's it gonna sink in?

She's so stupid

What the hell were you thinking?!

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger

Cause I can, cause I can do it better

There's no other

So when's it gonna sink in?

She's so stupid

What the hell were you thinking?!

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I don't like your girlfriend!

No way! No way!

I think you need a new one

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I know that you like me

No way! No way!

You know it's not a secret

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I want to be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I don't like your girlfriend!

No way! No way!

I think you need a new one

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I know that you like me

No way! No way!

You know it's not a secret

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I want to be your girlfriend

As the song ended the whole common room erupted in applause and cheers as Ron got up and headed straight towards Hermione. She went up to him and said whispered into his ear, "Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend…" He smiled at her and whispered into her ear. "Hey, hey, you, you, I want you to be my girlfriend…"

She smiled at him and he smiled at her. They leaned close together and they lips met in a searing kiss that can tell anyone that they've waited years to do that. Lavender, soaked to the bone huffed at the couple and stormed out of the common room, never to even step onto Hermione's turf again.

THE END


A/N: Forgive the way the lyrics look. I can't figure why the spaces are like that... because it seem okay in my word processor but it doesn't matter now... I hope you liked it... XP