(A/N): Birthday fic for Sule, because she is quite possibly the sweetest person I've ever talked to, and because it doesn't sound like she got to have a very happy birthday. (And no, my internet is not fixed - I typed and submitted this at a friend's.) I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: Insert witty disclaimer here.
This Perfect Imperfection
Roxas groaned and rolled over, trying to ignore the sensitivity of his skin as he buried his face in the pillow. He could still detect the lingering scent of cigarettes.
Pushing himself up on unsteady arms, Roxas shook his head to clear it. Wincing slightly, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood, swaying in place for a moment before he began the journey to the bathroom. He didn't glance at the tangle of clothes discarded next to the bed – he already knew Axel's wouldn't be among them.
He didn't glance down the short hallway toward the living room and kitchen. He already knew what he'd see – the empty beer cans and pizza box had probably already attracted ants, but he couldn't bring himself to clean up yet. Trying not to think about anything at all, he concentrated on adjusting the temperature of the shower until he had it exactly how he wanted it.
Stepping under the steady spray, he tried to limit his thoughts to the sensation of the water beating against his head, the almost inaudible gurgle as it disappeared down the drain. He winced as he swiped the washcloth over his shoulder, where Axel had bitten down in a moment of blind, animalistic sensation, and the memories rose unbidden in his mind.
Watching Axel eat from the corner of his eye, spending too much time watching his throat when he swallowed –
The strange light in Axel's eyes when he caught him, the way they'd stared at each other across the table for a moment –
The feel of Axel's lips and tongue, kissing him roughly, almost too hard, pushing forward so aggressively their teeth clicked together –
Tasting the alcohol on both their tongues, knowing they shouldn't be doing this even as Axel pushed him down, clothes disappearing under desperate touches, and they shouldn't be doing this but it felt so damn good –
Roxas lashed out, fist connecting solidly with the tile, and he relished the pain that exploded in his hand, because it drove out all other thoughts. Drawing his hand back, he flexed his fingers, making sure nothing was broken before he turned off the water and reached for his towel.
Slipping into an old pair of jeans, he left the towel hanging crookedly across the shower rod as he finally turned down the hall.
He froze in the doorway, his knees threatening to buckle so that he had to lean against the doorframe.
Axel was seated at the kitchen table, a lit cigarette in his fingers – how often had Roxas asked him not to smoke when he was over? – and a plate of eggs in front of him. He was fully dressed, one heel tapping against the leg of his chair. He hastily put the cigarette out when he spied Roxas in the doorway, a sheepish grin on his face. "Mornin'. I was starting to wonder when you'd get up." Roxas stared back, and Axel dragged a hand through his hair. "You want breakfast? I made eggs."
Roxas shook his head, moving out of the doorway and settling across from Axel. A quick glance around the kitchen showed that Axel had already cleaned the mess from the night before – there wasn't a single beer can in sight. "You okay?"
Roxas cut his eyes back to Axel, who was watching him narrowly, expression tense. Roxas had to swallow a few times before he could get the words out.
"Why'd you stay?"
Axel's eyes narrowed before he shrugged. "'Cause I did," he muttered, glancing away. "I can go if you want," he added, ducking his head and regarding Roxas from the corner of his eye.
"I didn't think you would," Roxas murmured, letting his gaze drop to the table. Axel's lips thinned as he stood up and grabbed his plate – stalking over to the sink, he scraped the leftover eggs down the garbage disposal. His shoulders were held painfully straight, and Roxas propped his head in his hands, waiting for his brain to wrap around the situation.
He'd been ready to deal with waking up to an empty apartment, his long-time friend avoiding him, the possibility that Axel might never speak to him again. But Axel, as usual, didn't do what he was supposed to, and Roxas didn't know how to react to the redhead in his kitchen, acting like they hadn't changed everything between them last night.
He jumped when Axel smacked a plate of eggs in front of him, the dish rattling against the table for a moment before it settled into silence.
Axel's voice held no room for argument, and Roxas accepted the fork Axel thrust at him. Keeping his eyes trained on his plate, he ate mechanically, barely tasting the food. He froze when Axel wrapped long fingers around his wrist. "What'd you do to your hand?"
"Nothing." Roxas refused to meet Axel's eyes – he could feel the redhead staring at him, but he kept his eyes trained on the table. "When are you leaving?" He saw a crooked grin spread over Axel's face from the corner of his eye.
"You trying to get rid of me, Rox?" When Roxas didn't answer, Axel crouched beside the blond's chair. "Look at me, Roxas." Roxas grudgingly shifted his gaze to Axel's face. "We need to talk. About last night."
"We were drunk," Roxas demurred, trying to draw his wrist out of Axel's grasp. Axel snorted, tightening his grip.
"We weren't that damn drunk, Roxas," he chided, rolling his eyes.
"Weren't you leaving?" Roxas snapped, scowling. The amused glint in Axel's eyes vanished; he regarded Roxas narrowly before he reached out and dragged him off the chair. Roxas's breath escaped harshly as his back collided with the kitchen floor. Axel quickly moved to straddle his hips, grinning down at him as his features twisted in anger. "Get the fuck off of me!"
"Not until you talk to me," Axel insisted, tightening his knees around Roxas's waist as the blond struggled and kicked underneath him. His eyes hardened when Roxas tried to punch him – grabbing both of Roxas's wrists, he pinned them above the blond's head. "Knock it off," he growled.
"You're not supposed to be here," Roxas burst out, thumping his head against the floor in frustration. Axel blinked at him, confusion evident in his expression.
"I was ready for you to not be here," Roxas growled, twisting underneath Axel's weight. "Shit, I could've dealt with that, Axel, I could've lived with it, but this – what the fuck are we supposed to do now?"
Axel blinked again, a slow smile spreading across his face as he brought his face closer to Roxas's. "You're flipping out because you don't know what to do next?" he asked, laughter flowing just underneath his words. Roxas glared back up at him. "Well, shit, Roxas, that's easy."
Axel closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Roxas's.
When Roxas didn't respond he pulled back and arched an eyebrow. "You're allowed to kiss back, you know."
"You're an asshole," Roxas glowered. Axel grinned and captured Roxas's lips again, trailing kisses across his jaw and down his throat when the blond still refused to react.
"I'm not leaving, Roxas," he murmured, releasing Roxas's wrists and trailing his fingers down the blond's sides. Roxas stared at the ceiling, back arching slightly in surprise when Axel slipped his fingers below the waist of his jeans. Axel's eyes met his again, and the redhead leaned back in for another kiss as his hands kneaded Roxas's abdomen.
Roxas couldn't help the small groan that slipped past his lips.
Axel smirked against his lips as his hands dropped and caressed Roxas's inner thighs. "So what were you worrying about?" he whispered, nipping at Roxas's ear.
"That's not fair," Roxas gasped, shuddering when Axel palmed his cock through the jeans. "You can't fix everything with sex, Axel," he insisted, trying to shove the redhead off of him.
"All right," Axel said cheerfully, sitting up again. Roxas would've sworn the way he rocked against him as he did wasn't accidental. "Do you want to talk yet?" Roxas glared up at him, and Axel rocked against him again, a wicked smile on his face. Roxas wanted to wipe it off his face. Axel wasn't pinning his wrists anymore, and Roxas suddenly pushed himself up, dislodging Axel and sending the redhead sprawling.
Roxas clambered on top of him before Axel could pick himself up; glaring down at the redhead, he pinned his arms at his sides and brought their faces close together. "You're an ass," he growled. Axel shrugged, as best he was able.
"You were being an idiot," he grinned. Roxas groaned in frustration, unable to help the way his hips jerked when Axel shifted underneath him.
"Because you're not leaving."
"And you think this fixes everything?" he demanded. Axel rolled his eyes.
"Well, you're talking to me," he pointed out. Roxas froze before he released Axel's arms, propping his hands on either side of Axel's head.
"You're not leaving." Axel grinned and pushed himself up, until their lips were only inches apart.
Roxas kissed him fiercely, pushing him back down to the floor and digging his fingers into Axel's hair. He felt Axel laughing, and the redhead pushed him back to strip out of his shirt. "Idiot."
Roxas groaned and dove down for another kiss. "Shut up."