Hello all! Know it's been a while. Hope this keeps you happy! Enjoy!

Hinata rubbed small circles on Sasuke's back while Naruto held up the clippers.

"Just remember. It will grow back." The lavender eyed girl spoke softly.

Kakashi had paused the movie so that everyone could watch the new entertainment and give the sand siblings time to absorb the shock that their little brother and Kazekage was apparently a movie whore. At least Temari was taking it in. Kankuro was monitoring her reaction to see how she would react when she saw that he was in the movies, not just this one.

A metallic click and the slightly annoying buzz of the clippers sounded. Sasuke flinched and curled in on himself a little more.

"There's a really nice wig maker in town. Very discreet." whispered Neji, who'd gotten past his teammates wild sexual behavior in favor of someone else's humiliation.

"I always knew those were extensions." Ino reached for Neji's long, dark hair.

Neji jerked out of her reached and blocked her hand while a blush crept up his cheeks. Choji whistled low and looked everywhere but at Ino's now smiling face.

"Kakashi-sensei! PLEASE turn on the movie!" TenTen hung heavily around Kakashi's waist as she wailed and grappled for the remote.

Kakashi paid no attention to the weapons expert turned crazed fan girl other than to keep the remote out of her hand. Instead, his eyes were fixed on his former student as the poor boy whimpered and a large dollop of hair dropped to the floor.

buzz buzz buzz

"I understand why he wouldn't tell us about this." Temari motioned toward the screen though her baby brother wasn't currently on it. "I just don't understand why he did it?"

buzz buzz buzz

Kankuro shrugged. "Maybe he wanted to try something different. I mean, he's still getting used to all the attention he gets being Kazekage. Maybe, since this was on camera and not in person it was easier."

Temari nodded thoughtfully but not as if she agreed.

buzz buzz buzz

"Hold up, Naruto, I think he's stopped breathing." Shikamaru moved up behind the purpling Uchiha and gripped both his shoulders.

"You gotta breath, Sasuke!" Naruto yelled in the poor mans face.

"It's amazing really. His family is massacred by his brother. He fights his whole life to avenge their deaths, even going so far as to abandon his life in the village and go missing nin. He nearly looses his eyes and spends a year in prison..." Kakashi sighed and pressed his hand to the center of TenTen's face, giving her a hard push to topple her onto her ass. "but cut off his hair and he's willing to suffocate himself."

Naruto grabbed the pillow Sasuke had been biting and was now indeed attempting to smother himself with, and a small tug-a-war ensued. Frustrated with his friends show of cowardice Naruto gave one hard pull ripping the fabric and sending tiny white feathers spraying out over the floor and futon. Everyone froze.

Choji blinked at the scattered stuffing spread all over the floor. "You guys are in sooooo much trouble." And quicker than anyone his size should be able, Choji was down the hall and out the door.

"Man. What a drag." Shikamaru let go of Sasuke and, shoulders slumped, shuffled over to his girlfriend.

A thump came from behind the bedroom door. Naruto, Hinata, and Ino ducked to the floor and began trying to stuff the feathers under the futon. Neji ducked back behind the futon and made himself as small as possible. Kakashi turned a mildly annoyed eye on TenTen who'd taken control of the remote in his moment of distraction. Gaara was once again on the screen, wet hair gleaming in the multi-colored strobe lights.

"See, that's just wrong." Temari muttered, passing her eyes over the screen once again.

"What's so wrong about it? You should have seen Kanmfmfmfmf...", Shikamaru found his mouth stuffed with the puppeteers discarded hat, purple make-up and bits of hair now smeared and sticking over the lower half of his face.

"Kankuro! What the hell!?"

The puppeteer began to back away as the scene of the movie moved outside of the bar. A woman leaning against the side entrance wall was enveloped by a man in heavy dark leather. Temari glanced at the screen with a sneer then turned back to Shikamaru in time to miss the leather clad mans face before Gaara opened the door, thus interrupting the couple and making TenTen sigh blissfully.

The door to the bedroom opened and the group huddled around Sasuke scrambled to hide as much of the mess as possible while Kakashi turned with a crinkled eye smile on the head now poking from door.

"Hello, Shino."

Shino blinked at the huddled mass before the front door slammed open and Lee came bounding into the room. His hot pink high heels clashed with the green spandex tights but the slightly too dark make-up actually matched well with his gelled back hair.

"Hello my vigorously youthful friends!"

The door to the bedroom slammed shut.

"Goodbye, Shino." Kakashi called.

"Lee?" Neji peeked from behind the couch, his eyes wide and horrified.

"Yes, Neji! And I have found the most wondrous and liberating training! You must try it!" Lee struck his "nice guy" pose and Kakashi nearly lost what little food he'd managed to eat that day.

"Please. Make it stop." Hinata huddled around Naruto's bare shoulders and buried her face in the sleeveless vest.

"Lee?" TenTen, broken from her single minded Gaara quest, turned wide eyes on her teammate. "What are you doing?"

"Exactly!" Ino broke from the group and walked up to the painted beast. "Those shoes and that suit don't match! You're makeup is all wrong!" She eyed him critically for a moment. "The hairs good though."

Voiceless sobs could be heard from behind the futon. Naruto turned his eyes he was sure were bleeding away from his friend and fellow shinobi to locate the source. He was silent for a moment as he stared down at Neji's pale, still form and Lee expounded on the wonders of sexual role play and reversal.

"Um, guys..." The tanned blond turned back to the room at large. "I think we lost Neji."

"What was all the noise about?" Genma shifted in the sheets and stretched on his back.

Shino moved smoothly and gloriously nude back to the bed, taking the end to climb up instead of slipping in the side. "Nothing. Lee's here."

"Oh." Genma licked his lips around his senbon. "As long as they aren't tearing up the place or recking the furniture."

Shino stilled for half a second. Lucky for him, Genma was memorized by his slow crawl across the sheets and didn't notice the slip.

"Every thing's right were it belongs. No worries." The bug-nin smiled reassuringly. Again, Genma wasn't watching his face. "Lee's wearing heels and Sasuke's bald."

"Uh huh..." Genma reached out grabby fingers for the pale young shinobi.

Shino simply smiled at the simplicity of the male mind and climbed back under the sheets.

"Ask a man for help and this is what you get." Izumo muttered.

Baki turned his back on their muttering captives and walked back to report to his Kazekage. They'd caught the two leaf shinobi only an hour before. There were still no sign of their pursuers but they were sure to be along. In the mean time, those two had complained none stop and even asked to be shipped back to Suna if they were going to be prisoners.

"I take it they are unhappy with their situation?" Gaara asked as he hefted his gourd over his shoulder and settled his weapons pouch on his hip.

"Yes and no." The Kazekage gave him a confused look and Baki tried to explain. "It seems they don't have a problem being captured. It's being sent back to Konoha they object to."

Gaara raised a brow. "Did they explain why?"

Baki flushed and scratched the side of his head with his index finger. "Uh yeah. Something to do with the Hokage and a beating pool. Seems they were taking wagers on a recent... coupling and there was something about movies. They were squabbling so much I couldn't make out the details and I don't have the authority to torture them."

Gaara raised a brow.

"I know. It's demeaning. If this is the state of things in Konoha, I would seriously reconsidered our position in the alliance treaties."

Gaara shook his head. "I sent Temari and Kankuro ahead to settle our arrangements for the week. If it's simple gossip, I'm sure they will be able to tell us about it when we arrive." He turned his attention back to his preparation while Baki moved to give orders to the rest of their group.

Shikaku Nara stepped into the Hokages office with his usual lazy stride. The woman he was here to meet sat behind her desk, the stack of papers normal bending to the ceiling nearly half it's size now. He raised a single eyebrow at what must have been hours of work the village leader usual left untouched then shrugged and closed to the door behind him.

"You asked for me, Hokage-sama?"

His lazy smile faltered and an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of his belly when the blond lifted her head and graced him with a wickedly vicious smile.

"Hello, Nara." She stood slowly and leaned out over her desk. "You and I need to talk."

It's short but here it is. I haven't proofed it so sorry for any mistakes. Have a good night!