Five languages Daniel couldn't translate, but Dawn could.
Fandom: Stargate:SG-1 and Buffy 'verse
Characters: Dawn, Daniel, hints of SG-1 and Willow
Disclaimer : All things Buffy belong to Joss Whedon; All things Stargate:SG-1 belong to MGM, Gekko, et al.
Daniel extended his hand to greet the petite red head that Dawn had introduced as Willow Rosenberg. Two minutes later Daniel was wondering if Willow had some alternative air supply that allowed her babble continuously.
He tried to focus on exactly what she was saying but lost the train of her ramble right after she exclaimed "I've read lots of ancienty texts too but most have apocalyptey, not-alien, nasties." At least that's what Daniel thought he heard and even then he wasn't sure what apocalyptey meant. After Willow had used the word Hellmouthy twice, he became convinced she was no longer speaking English.
Dawn on the other had was nodding and encouraging Willow's discourse. She didn't seem worried at all that the shorter girl might pass out from a lack of oxygen.
When he finally caught Dawn's attention and mouthed "Apocolyptey?"
She gulped an "Oh, right," and held up a hand to stop Willow mid-word.
Dawn had forgotten that Scooby speak was a learned talent that even Giles still had trouble with. Quickly translating, she explained, "Willow thinks that the Stargate program is neat and it's important to work with friends when saving the world"
Ok, Dawn thought, this was so not fair. Her first trip through the Stargate was supposed to be all 'happiness' and 'greet the natives'. SG-1 was supposed to make with the "how ya' been" and then she was supposed to get the touristy ruins tour.
It was not supposed to include trap rooms, random weapons fire, and an unconscious Daniel at her feet being tended to by Col. Carter. And it was definitely not supposed to include SG-1 relying on her to make with the save. Stupid ruins.
She glared at Col. Mitchell, wanting so badly to point her finger in his face while delivering a Buffy-style rant about Glyph-touching linguists and their overeager commanding officers.
But, she had to be calm. Yea, right. They were stuck in a room with no visible exits and the lack of fresh air would likely render them unconscious before any outside rescue could arrive. 'Stop it, no time for hysterics,' she told herself. Only time for breathing and focusing, .
Dawn turned away from her companions to examine the offending Glyphs. She stared at them, willing the wall to give up the exit without sending more of them crashing to the ground unconscious.
She stood there, arms akimbo, face a mask of concentration when inspiration hit. "Really! Huh. No way." Complete disbelief in her voice.
From behind her, the four conscious members of SG-1 began clamoring for an explanation.
"Ssh!" She waved them off not realizing she had spoken aloud and turned back to confirm her discovery.
This was no Alien language but rather a common demon dialect. If she recalled correctly, it was mostly spoken by the Garoulda, a clan of nasty snake-like demons, and, bonus, they were pretty easy to kill. Not that she expected any to show up, but useful remembering none-the-less.
There were definite similarities to the Go'auld language she'd begun to learn. That, she figured, was why Daniel had failed to unlock the code and continued to lie drooling on the ground.
Heck, this was a piece of cake. She'd have them back to the gate before lunch. 'I totally rock,' thought Dawn, as she reached out to press the first Glyph.
Dawn tries to enter the office she shares with Daniel when once again Vala comes flouncing out. And really, who flounces? She studied the retreating form in black leather, but then again, Vala could totally pull it off.
She perched herself on the edge of Daniel's desk. "So what's up with Vala?"
"Mm...Oh" says Daniel, barely looking up from the text he's studying and gesturing vaguely in the direction of Vala's former location. "She was looking for a lunch date."
"No, I mean what's up with you and Vala?" Dawn repeated the question slowly and with encouraging hand gestures to indicate she wanted the whole truth. "Spill. How long have you two been together."
Daniel looked up at her, eyes narrowing, head tilting and mouth closing into a thin line. She fully expected him to begin cleaning his glasses because it was a total Giles-like expression. Not the one where he cleaned his glasses to relive the stress, but the one where he cleaned his glasses to cover the fact that he had no desire to talk with you and hoped the pause in the conversation would make you go away.
It didn't work.
"Seriously, Daniel you can't tell me you didn't notice." She stared at him and when he still didn't respond she drove her point home. "All right, if she was looking for a lunch partner why didn't she ask me when I came in."
"How should I know? That woman's mind is on her own wavelength. She lives to torment me, that I know"
"Oh Daniel, you know nothing about women"
"I was married. I know enough." Indignation creeping into his tone.
"Well, I I am /I one and let me tell you, Vala is so into you. She's practically wearing a big flashing sign that says: Vala Likes Daniel."
"Stop it. You don't know what your talking about. Vala constantly disrupts my work, riffles through my papers, touches my stuff, and ...," His voice trailed off. "Are you sure?"
Dawn spent the next few minutes translating Vala's actions to their true meanings. Eventually, she was confident that Daniel could see the proverbial forest for the tree, which was Vala and her big flashing sign.
The color drained from Daniel's face,"Oh, no"
"Oh, yes," giggled Dawn as she flounced from the room.
Daniel frowned as he read the latest email from his new assistant, Dawn Summers. He was beginning to wonder if they had stopped teaching basic spelling and punctuation in the schools.
He was going to have to talk to her before these bad habits were ingrained. Daniel headed down the hall to her cubicle.
"Dawn, do you have a minute?"
The young intern look up from her computer and nodded. "Sure, what's up boss."
"These messages you've been sending me, I have some questions." He handed her a printout of her last 6 emails and waited for her to look them over.
"Ok, ask away." She handed the pages back.
"Do you know how to use the spell check and grammer functions for your emails and reports."
She looked at him like he was crazy, but nodded.
"Then, why are there semi-colons and parenthesis in odd places? What are these random collections of letters? For example Rothflmao and Ttfn .."
He stopped when he realized that Dawn was laughing at him. "What?"
"Sorry boss," she got out as her giggling turned into full hysterics. "I just didn't think that someone who worked in a base full of cutting edge technology and who can speak 20 plus languages would need a translator for basic internet speak."
He glared at her and then at the paper in his hand, turning it sideways he then literally smacked himself in the head.
Dawn still giggling and wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes offered, "I think the expression your looking for is ZOMG."
Daniel is deep in the middle of translating the Ori scroll that SG-11 had covertly secured from one of the converted planets. It contains a slightly different dialect from other Ori texts and from what Daniel has been able to translate, a slightly different take on Origin. He is so engrossed in his work that he never notices Dawn enter his office. The crash of files cascading to the ground brings Daniel to his feet reaching for a weapon that isn't there. Damn, he is definitely spending too much time off world.
"Fudgie Duckies," shouts Dawn as she kneels down to gather the dropped files.
Daniel rounds the table to help with the clean-up, when he notices the redness to Dawn's eyes.
"Hey, are you Ok." He lays a friendly hand upon her shoulder.
She shrugs it off and stands quickly with the newly collected files hugged tightly to her chest. "I'm fine." her voice is almost cracking and her eyes are glistening with unshed tears. "Why wouldn't I be fine? I file meaningless reports all day long in a secret underground military base. Then I get to watch as everyone else travels to alien planets and saves the world. Who wouldn't want this job?" She gathers up a few more reports and bolts.
Dumbstruck at her revelation, Daniel watches her leave. He knows that she is alone at home because her family is scattered around the world and he's guessing she's alone at work most of the time. Since she arrived two months ago, Daniel has spent nearly all his time off-world. Even when he is on base, the Ori scroll receives all of his attention. He hates to admit it but he has been a bad boss and a worse friend.
The next day Dawn walks into Daniel's office to see two desks and no files waiting. "So Daniel, one desk not enough"
Trying to act nonchalant, he quips back, "Actually, that desk is for you."
Dawn's eyes grow wide as she looks from the desk to Daniel and back again. Before she can say anything, Daniel hands her the Ori scroll. "I am having trouble with the symbols on the drawings in the third section, why don't you take a crack at it. I'm off to meet Sam for breakfast.
She takes the scroll. The smile she grants him impacts like a jolt of electricity. It amazes Daniel to realize how truly unhappy she must have been.
He can feel Dawn watching him as he leaves but he doesn't turn around. They both know what he's doing but he wants to maintain the illusion that he never saw her crying.