Author's note: This is a continued saga from Exit Light. Not necessary to read Exit to understand it. The only info you need to know is Dean is attacked and begins to hallucinate. Eventually, the hallucination lead up to Dean attacking and injuring Sam. Fear of losing Sam causes Dean to leave Sam and strike out on his own. Now the real fun begins. I hope you enjoy.
ENTER THE SANDMAN
Falling to his knees, Sam stared in incredulity at Dean's undulating, sobbing, whimpering, wasting form. Dean's face was gaunt, haggard, ashen, and tear-reddened. Regret, pain, and loneliness mixed in Dean's eyes. A torrent of tears fell and streaked upon the tears that had already been shed. . Falling to his knees, Sam stared in incredulity at Dean's undulating, sobbing, whimpering, wasting form. In truth, Sam had never seen Dean cry like this.
The sight of Sam's face set off more terrible tremors to Dean's core. A whirl fearing, loving, and begging Sam intertwined in his confused mind. All he wanted was for Sam to love him and to forgive him. "Sam, I'm sorry...please, don't go... please...please" Dean whispered weakly. Dean's sanity and internal functions were darned to a tenuous thread.
Reaching into his pocket, Sam began searching for something. He stopped when Dean's fear intensified. Sam held tight to a gun in his hand.
Dean's eyes flashed in horror and he lamented between uncontrollable sobs "Sammy no, please...please forgive me... I'm sorry. Don't...don't kill me... please...please don't. Do you hate me that much!!!!??...Sammmyyy...I…..why... please?"
Dean recoiled in terror. He pushed his fearful frame up against the cushioned wall. There was no other place to maneuver.
Sammy inched closer to Dean's fearful and tearful eyes. "I'm sorry, Dean," Sam struggled to say through lips pouted by sorrow. "I can't let you go on like this. Please, let me help you. Just hold on…I'm going to end this for you.. Please." Sam begged.
"Sammy… I'm sorry… I should never…" Dean's broken voice rasped harder. "I'm.."
"Shhhh…its okay… Whatever it is, I forgive you, Dean." Sam's frame sneaked closer. Sam was close enough to touch Dean. "But you can't go on like this.. I won't let you!"
Dean looked up at him with sorrow that was tinged by a glimmer of hope. "Then, please...don't…..don't go." Dean's lamented between sobs "Sammy no, please...please forgive me... I'm sorry. Don't...don't kill me... please...please don't. Please don't hate me ??...Sammmyyy...I…..why...I love you Sammy... please...WHY, SAMMY?"
"I'm sorry, Dean. It's all going to be over son. I can't let you go on like this."
DEAN!" Sam awoke with an eerie shutter anda deafening scream. The vision had shocked him. There was no way he would ever take Dean's life.
Frantically, Sam sat upright, popped his jaw, and flinched in pain. One eye struggled to open, but managed a half slit. The murky noon had turned to a moonless and starless night. Thunder rumbled a warning of rain in the near future. Sam's soulful eyes were devastated not to view Dean in the ransacked motel room. His mouth smashed in pain and loneliness. It took a few moments for Sam to notice the folded paper in his hand. He stared at the messily scrawled Sammy across the front and traced the S with his fingertip. Sam knew Dean had left him. He feared to see those words in a note. That would mean it was real and final. It was something Sam couldn't live with. He angrily crumpled the note in his hand so that it outlined the keys within. He fought to hold back the verge of sorrow within him. After a few deep breaths, Sam uncrumpled the paper and opened it. The Impala keys thudded in his open palm. Sam's previously gagged sob force its way out of his throat with loud wail of anguish. Sam stared in disbelief at the page.
Take care of yourself. Don't look for me. I'm sorry I won't be there to watch your back. I can't let myself hurt my little brother anymore.
"Anymore!" Sam uttered loudly, as if the need to contradict Dean's statement aloud would take away how his brother had felt. His voice faded, but his quivering lips mouthed "Dean"
I swore I would protect and follow you into any battle. But, ths is one I can't let you ride with me, Sammy. And you better take care of my car!
Throwing both the note and keys aside, Sam sprang out of bed to look for his cell phone. Savagely, he dialed Dean's phone. Sam didn't know if he was going to scream at Dean or comfort him when he answered. The phone began to ring to connect to his brother, as sense of hope welled in Sam at the thought of hearing Dean's voice. Echoing in Dean's dumped clothes pile, the phone began to ring. Sam turned startled when he hear the noise and quickly started to dig in the pile. His heart broke when Dean's ringing phone shook in his hand. Anger boiled in him. His thoughts lingered on why his brother was such a jerk, why did he have to think of everything, why couldn't he have left one clue to where he was going, WHY,WHY, WHY? Fear gripped him as he fought back the images of his vision- a vision of him with a gun getting ready to kill his beloved brother.
The anger grew to such intensity that Sam threw Dean's cell phone smashing it into shards. The anger and worry pumping thorough him brought him crashing to his knees.